Dissecting Edward
by chynnadoll36
Summary: Marriage therapist Doctor Isabella Swan has her work cut out for her when she encounters handsome, renowned Cardiothoracic Surgeon Edward and his wife Lauren Masen, her new patients. Lauren seeks Dr. Swan services in trying to repair a marriage that Edward is hell bent on ending. All the while, Dr. Swan tries to avoid being drawn into the Masen's turbulent lives. Drama/Angst
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: All Twilight related material is the sole property of the original author. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

_**A/n: Happy Ney Year everyone! Long time I know, but I have been working on myself and my WIP's. I'm reposting Dissecting Edward along with the sequel. There will be some significant changes to the story for continuity and length purposes. To make clearer, the story just wasn't sitting right with me and both parts of the story were just way too long. Having said that, Dissecting Edward will be about the same length. It's sequel will not. To me it seemed to be dragging and I felt I could improve upon that. Hopefully this version will be received well and be entertaining to all. All comment are truly appreciated. Let's get to it.**_

_** Prologue**_

"I really appreciate you seeing me on such short notice."

I thank Celeste Daniels as she offers me a seat.

"You're a friend of Jake's, so it really wasn't a problem at all. Come in, Bella…I can call you Bella?" She holds onto my hand, waiting for an answer. She has a warm smile that immediately makes me feel comfortable.

She's very attractive and looks to be in her mid to late thirties. Her expensive two-piece suit and Italian shoes are a testament to her success. She sports an asymmetrical bobbed haircut, which perfectly complements her strawberry-blonde hair and ice-blue eyes.

"Bella's fine. In fact I prefer it. _You_ have a lovely name. "

"I'm named after my great Aunt. A very wise and shrewd businesswoman," she enlightens me with a hint of humor.

I smile at the irony of our seating arrangements, and she looks at me quizzically.

"This is a rare occurrence for me. Normally, I'm on the other side, asking the questions."

"That's right. You're a marriage therapist. I hope you don't mind, Jake reminded me. I vaguely remember meeting you at a company dinner we attended some time ago"

"You're absolutely right about that. I recall your face now."

"Jake is one of my biggest rivals in the courtroom, but he's also a good friend. I understand the two of you have parted ways."

"Yes, we have. Will this pose a problem, given your friendship?"

"Not at all, how can I be of help?"

I take a deep breath and begin.

"Over a month ago, I witnessed an accident."

"What kind of accident?" She instantly switches to professional mode.

"A hit and run…the car hit my boyfriend's nephew. I think that he was the intended victim, but the driver didn't see Josh. Edward knocked him out of the way, and the impact caused a serious head injury."

"Is the little boy all right?"

"Yes, Josh is fine; precocious as ever." I chuckle as I picture his adorable face.

She opens her laptop and begins to type.

"Edward is your boyfriend?"

I clear my throat," Yes, he is."

"And you said he was the intended victim. Why would you think that?'

I hesitate, and she stops typing. She stares at me intently, and I inhale deeply and shift in my chair. She's astute and has noticed my discomfort but remains silent as she waits for me to continue.

"Edward's ex-wife paid someone to photograph us together, and I assume that things got out of control."

She sets her laptop aside, leans on the desk and tents her fingers. Lord knows, I'm familiar with this tactic.

"I can tell that you're not used to discussing personal aspects of your life freely, and that you're uncomfortable right now, but I'm going to need specifics. I can pretty much put two and two together, but it would really help if I didn't have to do that, Bella. I'm sure you understand why I need to know." She smiles to take any sting out of what she's just said.

"Edward and Lauren are ex-patients of mine."

Her expression remains impassive as she sits back in her seat and waits. I huff and pinch the bridge of my nose before telling her the background to my relationship with Edward, ending with the run-in with Lauren at the restaurant.

"This is some situation. You don't really have any tangible evidence that Lauren deliberately followed you, but she did make a veiled threat and knowing her past, we should take all necessary precautions.

I will contact her lawyer and see what he has to say about this. In the meantime, if she ever gets close enough to be in contravention of her bail conditions, you call the police. The first thing you need to do is to protect yourself from possible harm. After that, we can determine whether she's violated her bail terms or not."

"Thank you. That pretty well summarizes what everyone has been telling me, but I just wanted to seek legal advice, in case I should need it."

"I'm glad you contacted me, and I'll do everything I can to protect your rights, Bella, and to keep you safe."

She escorts me to the door, reminding me that she'd be in touch.

I feel better leaving her office than I did going in. Her easy acceptance of my relationship with Edward and lack of censure about the circumstances of us getting together makes me feel more comfortable. I once again realize that I should really tell Edward about everything that's been troubling me.

.

.

Back in my office, I busy myself by dealing with my correspondence and returning messages. I power up my laptop and sign in. While waiting, I finally sort through the mountain of mail on my desk and place a call.

I click on the incoming mail folder as I tear through the first envelope. My call goes through to voicemail.

"Hey, Rose. I just wanted to let you know that I found another lawyer. I hope you won't be upset. Anyhow, call me at the office when you get this message. Bye."

I delete the first couple of emails. I'm not familiar with the sender of the next one, and it doesn't have a subject heading. There is an attachment however, and I notice that there are ten consecutive messages with attachments from the same sender. My normal practice is to simply delete emails from unknown parties, as I'm well aware of the potential for viruses, but my curiosity is piqued. I click onto the attachment.

While it's downloading, I turn my attention to the letter in my hand. The familiar logo of the American Medical Association immediately catches my attention, but I'm puzzled by the bold stamp just above the addressee panel, which reads, 'Private and Confidential. Generally correspondence from the AMA is simply to inform members of some special event, so I find this is highly unusual.

I can't believe what I'm reading; there must be some mistake. I've read it three times now, and it still doesn't make any sense.

My palms feel sweaty, and my heart is thumping so hard, I'm sure it can be seen by the naked eye. I close my eyes then read it once more, slowly taking in every damning word.

_Dear Doctor Swan,_

_You are notified that we have received a formal complaint against you, alleging a breach in the code of professional conduct on your part._

_The AMA serves as an umbrella organization of state medical associations, and as such, is not in the position to investigate allegations of unprofessional or unethical conduct at the local level._

_We have therefore referred the complaint to the relevant body in the state of Illinois, where you are currently registered to practice._

_You will, in due course, receive formal notification from this body, detailing the allegations made and the procedures to follow to resolve the matter. _

_As you are a registered member of this association, the Illinois State investigative council will forward its findings to the AMA for review by our Council on Ethical and Judicial Affairs._

_We wish you well, and it is our fervent hope that this matter be resolved quickly and in your favor._

I take a deep, shaky breath and look up to see my computer screen. I stare aghast at the photographs, large and in full color.


	2. Chapter 2

Dissecting Edward, Chapter 1

"_Who am I?_

I'm the son of a loving mother and an idolized father. I'm the brother of siblings I call my best friends. I'm the husband of a woman I no longer love.

_Who am I?_

I'm a highly respected and sought-after cardiothoracic surgeon. I graduated at the top of my class, and I'm noted for my breakthrough research.

_Who am I?_

I'm a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it, damn anyone who gets in my way. Some call me cocky or arrogant; I call it being confident.

_Who am I?_

I'm a man who loves women; all women of diverse backgrounds, it doesn't matter to me.

_Who am I?_

I'm a man who likes to fuck. I can be dominating and on occasion, dominated. It doesn't matter, if I get to fuck.

_Who am I?_

I'm a thirty-six-year-old man whose wife insists that I attend marriage counseling and threatens to ruin my reputation if I don't.

Who am I, you ask?

Do you _really_ want to know who I am?"I turn to face her.

"I'm Edward Masen, son, brother, surgeon, husband and womanizer.

Is that what you wanted to hear, Doctor?"

"Is that what you wanted to tell me, Doctor?" She peers at me over the top of her wire-rimmed glasses.

"Please, do not try and use reverse psychology with me, it's insulting."

"Doctor Masen, the whole point of this exercise is for you to put your life into perspective, to try and figure out why you are here and in marriage counseling."

"Oh, I know exactly why I'm here, Doctor Swan, and my wife will not get away with this. Believe me."

"So, you blame your wife for this?"

"Yes, I do."

"You blame her for your cheating, the number of women and everything else that's gone awry in your marriage?"

"I blame her for _this._" I wave my hand in a sweeping gesture around the office.

"So your issue is with therapy?

"I don't need therapy, but maybe my wife does. In fact, I'm thinking of having her committed."

"Do you think that will solve your problem?" She looks up at me briefly then diverts her glance to the notepad on her desk. She clamps her lips tightly, and I'm not sure whether she's annoyed or trying to suppress a smile at my considering institutionalizing Lauren.

"I don't have a problem, but it will definitely solve hers," I snort.

She lifts her head and looks at me; those rare, amber eyes seemingly probe right into my soul. "When I said your problem, I meant _your a_nd _your wife's_ problem."

"Like I said."

I walk over to the floor-to-ceiling window, my eyes sweep over the city skyline, and I momentarily allow my mind to wander as I take in the view. Chicago must have one of the most impressive skylines in the world. I make out the John Hancock Center and other notable buildings standing tall and proud in the distance. I bring my attention back to the room, and I can feel her eyes on me, more specifically on my ass. I know all the machinations of a woman's mind. She's a professional, but a woman nonetheless, therefore, she isn't exempt.

"Do you think I'm attractive, Doctor Swan?"

"It doesn't matter what I think, Doctor Masen."

I keep my back to her and smile. Every response is quick and calculated, typical of a shrink; she's so full of shit.

"You're avoiding the question."

"This therapy session is for _you,_ Doctor Masen."

"So, you're the only one who can ask questions, Doctor?"

"Alright," she sighs. "I'll allow one question." A small, squeaking sound lets me know that she's reclined in her chair.

"Just one, huh? I'd better make it a good one then." I smile to myself, amused that I don't have to think for long. I've been thinking about it since the first time I laid eyes on her.

"It's your choice, Doctor Masen."

"Have you ever been fucked on a desk?"

"I beg your pardon?" Her tone is frosty and clipped

"What about with your bare ass pressed up against this window for the city of Chicago to see. It's such a fucking rush; a turn-on to know that people are watching."

"Doctor Masen, those questions are highly inappropriate. I would appreciate it if we keep any further discussion professional. Am I making myself clear?"

"Oh yes, crystal clear. I'm sorry if I offended you, Doctor." I look over my shoulder and arch an eyebrow. "So, is that a no?"

"Alright, I think we've done enough for this session. I'll schedule an appointment for you in two weeks and expect to see both you and your wife. Until next time, Doctor Masen, keep working on the exercises I've set for you, and have a nice day."

"Throwing me out, Doctor Swan?"

"Your billable hour is up, and I have another patient in thirty minutes. I intend to eat something before then, so the more time you spend here questioning me, the less I have to do just that. Good day, Doctor."

"Boy, I must've hit a nerve. Not to worry, I've had enough of this psychobabble, anyhow. Good day, Doctor Swan."

I leave her office feeling no different than I did before I entered. Lauren will regret forcing me into this. If only I could retrieve that flash drive, I'd be out of this mess then. She has me by the balls right now, and there isn't a damned thing that I can do about it. I'll just have to endure this clusterfuck and be more inconspicuous around her.

"I need to see you. Meet me in fifteen minutes at the usual spot. Don't be late."

My phone conversation is short and to the point. Lauren may have been able to force me into therapy, but she's not going to stop me from getting what I want. And right now, what I want is sex.

The hot spray washes the residue of my infidelity from my body. I don't feel the least bit remorseful, I never do. Lauren is blackmailing me, and she'll pay for it. She thinks I'm a bastard? Well, she's hasn't seen anything yet.

I emerge from the shower and dress at a relaxed pace. She watches from the bed, her body facing me, allowing me to take in her every intimate part. The sheet hangs haphazardly from her shapely form, and her eyes practically burn a hole through me. I fasten the cuffs of my shirt and finally raise my eyes to meet hers.

"What?"

"Are you ever going to stay awhile longer; spend a night even?"

"You know that's never going to happen."

"Why?"

We've been through this several times before, and she's testing my patience. I fix her with an icy glare.

"I'm married."

"Marriage doesn't stop you from fucking me."

This is where the situation gets difficult. They always get attached. They never seem to understand that I, Edward Anthony Masen, don't get attached.

"You were privy to how this was going to play out before we started. If you can't handle it, there are plenty of others who can. Just say the word." I shove my phone and keys into my pocket. "I have to go." I reach for my suit jacket and walk out the door.

I realize that Lauren hasn't called me all day. She generally hounds me several times throughout the day just to check up on me. She does little except spend money, and even while she's out shopping, she finds the time to keep track of me. Her lack of contact has me worried, and my mind is in overdrive, wondering what she could be up to. I've come to know that when she's quiet, she's plotting.

I try to convince myself that she's out on some mundane task and hope that I make it home before she does. My hopes are dashed when I drive up to the garage and notice the parked car. I check my watch and sigh. It's seven p.m. already, and I'd told her that I'd be home early tonight. I grab my briefcase, and as I walk up to the door, I mentally prepare myself for an argument.

The smell of garlic and basil permeates the air. She's standing in the kitchen, and as I draw close, I realize that she's wearing a black negligee and matching heels. Why she's decided to wear bedroom attire while cooking is a mystery to me. She bends over to retrieve something from the oven, and my eyes focus on the way the lace clings to her luscious curves. The sight roars my libido back to life.

She's oblivious to me as she turns from the oven and moves around, grabbing plates and wine glasses from the cabinet.

I alert her to my presence by dropping my briefcase. She gasps and whirls around, clutching her chest.

"Edward! God, you scared the hell out of me."

I cock an eyebrow and toss my keys onto the table.

"What's all this?" I wave a hand around the room.

She gives me a brief, confused look, then sashays over to me and presses her body up against mine.

"Oh, this? This is simply me making my gorgeous husband his favorite meal and wanting to spend an intimate night with him, on our own; _together,_" she practically purrs as the last word leaves her mouth and presses a lingering kiss on my lips.

She pulls me over to the couch and pushes me down. She straddles me as soon as I sit and slides the already short negligee further up her thighs. I watch her ministrations impassively and sigh heavily.

"Mmmmm, I can feel how much you want me," she purrs, gazing into my eyes. It's no secret that my body's reacting, but I know better, and I'm not going to tolerate it. I smirk and pretend to play along, placing my hands on her hips and rock her against me. She starts unbuttoning my shirt and smiles seductively before kissing me as she moves down my body. I jerk her to me, making my arousal nestle right at her entrance. Her head snaps up, and she bites her bottom lip, grinning slyly.

"I was also thinking that tonight, we could start on building our family."

And there it is; the scam revealed. I grip her hips and hoist her up and off me. Surprised by the sudden motion, she lets out a tiny squeal.

"I've had enough of the ruse," I huff as I stand up, adjusting myself through my slacks. She looks up at me, openmouthed.

"What do you mean, ruse?"

"Come on, Lauren, did you honestly think I'd fall for any of this? We haven't fucked in months, and suddenly you want to indulge? I don't think so."

I don't bother buttoning my shirt as I head toward the kitchen to pour a glass of wine.

"Edward, I have no idea what you're talking about. I just wanted to do something special for you and possibly…"

"Start baby making, I know. I got that part; but what you fail to realize, is that I don't want kids. We've talked about this, we've argued about this, and my feelings haven't changed. No kids," I state with finality.

She rises off the couch and follows me into the kitchen.

"Edward, what I think _you_ fail to realize, is that I'm the one holding all the cards here."

"Right, your little attempt at blackmail. Do you honestly believe that I'm going to allow you to force me into giving you a child? Think again." I push past her into the living room.

"Your past indiscretions guarantee that I will get what I want, Edward. I'm your wife. I want a family, and you are going to do everything in your power to make sure that I get what I want, or I will turn the evidence of your indiscretions over to a divorce lawyer."

I down the wine in one swift swallow, while she continues her rant.

"This can go one of two ways, Edward. After everything you've put me through, I'm still giving you a choice in this. I could destroy you and take you for everything you're worth, but all I want is you and a family."

"This is coercion, Lauren."

"Please, don't be so melodramatic, it's not coercion. It's a wife wanting all the normal things that come with marriage…fidelity, honesty, and children. In a word; happiness."

"And you think that you'll get those things by blackmailing me?"

"You've left me no choice, Edward." She walks around the room, blowing out candles, testament of her seduction gone wrong. "I'll be in bed if you change your mind."

I listen to the clicking of her heels fade as she climbs the stairs. I pour another glass of wine and down it faster than the first.

I must find out where she's hidden that flash drive and make sure that it is destroyed. One tiny device, containing an undisclosed number of proofs, which could ruin my life, and I'm stonewalled in doing anything about it.


	3. Chapter 3

Dissecting Edward Chapter 2

My eyes are narrowed into slits, while I listen as she dredges up all my past and present indiscretions before a perfect stranger. She's enjoying this, I can tell. I quietly fume, letting her have her fun−for now.

Today is our third week in marriage counseling, and it's already out of control. It's easier when we attend separate sessions. That way, I don't have to listen to bullshit.

My eyes shift from Lauren to the sexiest woman I've ever seen sport a pair of glasses; tortoiseshell this time, the color enhancing her already spectacular eyes.

She's exquisite; her auburn hair, again tucked into a bun and making me wonder just how long it is, exotic and mesmerizing amber-colored eyes, slightly upturned nose and a full, pouty mouth. I watch entranced as she crosses and uncrosses her legs.

My mind starts to conjure up a _myriad_ of things I could do to her in this very office.

_Wonder if she'd be opposed to videotaping? I could have the camera placed up high in one of the corners of the ceiling. Mmm._

My mouth turns up in a smug smirk, and she interrupts my salacious thoughts.

"Is there anything you would like to add, Doctor Masen?"

I bring my eyes back into focus to look at her.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Your wife just presented a lot of insight into events before, during and after your wedding ceremony. I'm curious to hear what your thoughts may be on the subject."

"You don't want hear what I have to say, trust me." I flip the cuff of my shirt to look at my watch.

"Edward." Lauren leans in to whisper in a warning tone.

"What? You seem to be doing fine all by yourself, Lauren. I don't see why I need to elaborate on the misfortunes of our marriage any further. It's starting to sound a tad redundant, wouldn't you agree, Doctor?" I turn my attention back to her, holding her in my gaze.

"Doctor Masen, this session only works if both parties participate freely. Therefore, it's called couple's therapy," she mimes air quotes. "It would benefit you both and help me a great deal if you shared."

"I thought it was called marriage counseling," I state sarcastically.

Not amused, her lips purse into a line.

"Fine," I say sharply, "what is it that you want to know?"

"For starters, Lauren has expressed that there was a fidelity problem before you two got married, but she wants to get what happened at the actual wedding ceremony out into the open."

"It is out in the open," my tone is clipped, "she knows everything about it. It's no mystery to her.

"It's a mystery to me, Dr. Masen." She leans forward with her elbows on the desk, her fingertips tented.

"You're going to regret this, Lauren," I mumble under my breath. I fix her with an icy glare. "I was unfaithful before, and after the wedding ceremony. Is that getting it out in the open enough, Doctor?" I administer my own set of air quotes.

"Not quite, I need you to be more specific, Doctor."

_You've got to be fucking kidding me._

I'm obviously pissed now, and both women know it.

"You want specifics?" I raise both eyebrows and smirk slightly. "All right, I fucked Lauren's matron of honor _before, and after_ the ceremony."

Lauren gasps at my abrasiveness and whips her head around in my direction.

"Edward!"

"What? She wanted specifics so, I'm going to give them to her, Lauren. Remember, you had your chance, but you chose _this_." I gesture dismissively to Doctor Swan and watch as her eyes widen.

"After Lauren and I said, 'I do', she walked in on me with my fist wrapped around her matron of honor's hair, and me ramming her from behind."

"Edward!" Lauren's voice escalates by a couple of octaves.

I ignore her, keeping eye contact with Doctor Swan.

"One leg was hitched up on the back of a chaise longue, and she was spread–"

"Edward!"

"Continue, Doctor Masen," she says expressionlessly, seemingly unfazed by my provocativeness, and Lauren's obvious outrage.

I settle my eyes back on hers and give her a mischievous smirk. It's as if we are the only two people in the room. The tension between us is palpable.

"I think that's enough for today," I state coolly.

"I think those are my closing words, Doctor. Please continue."

I glance at Lauren, taking in her gaping expression. To say she's ticked off would be an understatement. I know I've let my temper escalate, and I realize that this will make it tougher to get her to drop the threat of blackmail.

"No, I said it's enough. I have somewhere I have to be." I stand and collect my suit jacket, widening my eyes at Lauren as an indication to move her ass so that we can leave.

"Okay, we can discuss this at the next session. Hopefully, we'll be able to make more progress."

"Yeah." I respond with obvious disinterest as I reach the door and swiftly step out of the office. I hear Lauren apologizing for my crudeness before she trots behind me, hurrying to catch up.

"Your attitude was a total abomination. How _dare_ you embarrass me like that in there?"

"You brought this on yourself." I remain as calm I can and don't turn around to acknowledge her. I keep up my brisk pace as she continues to berate me.

"The way you divulged our dirty laundry back there was a disgrace. It was disrespectful to me and to our marriage, Edward. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You!" I pull up abruptly. "You're what's wrong with me, Lauren! _You _told her about what happened with Irina. Don't start crying about hurt feelings and disrespect now. I told you not to go through with this."

I resume walking down the hall.

"Don't you walk away from me, Edward Masen! We had a deal. You said that you'd come to therapy with me in exchange for me keeping silent about your male-whoring ways."

I stop again, this time, slowly backing her up against the wall.

"You _forced_ me into this, and now since this _deal, _as you so eloquently put it, requires us to air our dirty laundry_,_ I'm going to make damned sure that I do it thoroughly. Hold on tight, Lauren. The ride will definitely get bumpy," I sneer in her face, before spinning on my heel and stepping into the elevator.

I'm relieved that she decides not to ride down with me, because I readily picture myself throttling her for the duration of the downward journey.

_Damn her! She'll not get away with this._ I slam my fist against the elevator door.

If she wants to play hardball, then we will. I'm a master at it. She may have been able to stop the divorce for now, but by the time I'm finished with her, she'll be running and screaming to the divorce court.

.

.

.

_What the hell have I gotten myself into?_ I stare at the Masen's manila folder.

Lauren is easy enough to work with, but that husband of hers, what a piece of work.

She's beautiful and wealthy. She doesn't need to rely on her marriage for wealth; her parents are financially established people. Money is certainly not the reason she stays in her marriage, and that's the baffling part to me. Why would a woman put so much energy and effort into, let alone stay married, a man who is so blatantly cheating on her?

He's arrogant and insufferable. I'd thought that I'd seen and heard just about everything by now, but I have a feeling that Edward Masen is about to give me lessons in libertinism.

It isn't customary for me to record patient sessions, but after only three meetings with the Masen's, I realize that I have my work cut out for me, and I feel that I'll be needing more than just my session notes to refer to.

"Date September fourteenth, twenty-eighteen. Subject Lauren and Edward Masen. While Mrs. Masen was co-operative in talking about events that began the downward spiral of the couple's eight-year marriage, Doctor Masen became agitated and almost belligerent. He demonstrated no regard for his wife's feelings as he gave his own rendition, in explicit detail, of his infidelity soon after their marriage ceremony." I pause and sigh in frustration. "Before I was able to properly assess the situation and help either one by introducing coping and resolution strategies, Doctor Masen abruptly ended the session, leaving his wife to apologize and justify his behavior."

I complete my in-depth overview, and drop my arm, tiny microphone still in hand as I stare out of the window and watch the traffic thirty stories below.

I remove my glasses and hook them onto the front of my blouse. Releasing my hair from its vice-like top knot, instantly soothes my aching head. I shake it out and massage my temples.

"I need a damned drink."

I press the intercom button.

"Yes, Doctor Swan?"

"Patch me through to Doctor Hale's office, Victoria, thank you."

"Yes, of course, Doctor Swan."

My phone rings, signaling the call being connected.

"Dr. Hale speaking…"

"Hey, when's your last appointment?" I sigh impatiently.

"I just finished up, why?"

"I need a drink and a distraction."

"Well, I can point you in the right direction for what I'm told are the best martinis in town. The place will provide both the drink and the distraction."

"Meet me in the parking garage. You're driving. I may need to get drunk.

"Bad day?"

"You have no idea," I scoff and end the call.

I conclude the workday by locking up my office and saying good evening to Victoria, then head to the garage where Rosalie is waiting in her car.

"I don't know why you insisted that I drive. I hate driving with an indescribable passion. Besides, I may want to get drunk as well."

"Well, then I guess we may have to call in a ride share. Now that you've mentioned it, your driving is horrendous, Rose. How did you ever get a license?"

"Oh, shut up, you're more than welcome to take over. What's crawled up your ass, anyway?"

I roll my eyes at her. She knows me better than anyone, and it really annoys me.

"Ah, I know that look, a problem patient, right?"

"The guy is beyond redemption, Rose."

"Well, it isn't your job to redeem him, Bella. He has to do that on his own."

"That's never going to happen," I mutter.

"He can't be _that _bad."

"Tell that to his wife."

"Man, you _are_ uptight. Not to worry, I know exactly what you need."

We've arrived at Andersonville, to me a somewhat unexpected location for the kind of bar she's described. But Rosalie assures me that this place is gaining a reputation as one of the best in the city, and despite the locals wanting to keep it secret, news is spreading fast. We pull into the parking lot of a bar with a flashing sign that reads _Emmett's_. The name doesn't say much, but it looks like an entertaining place to unwind.

We're still in our office attire, both wearing a silk blouse, pencil skirt and open-toed pumps. Low whistles from a bevy of males at the bar follow us as we pass; even a couple of females jokingly get in on the act.

We settle on a table toward the back and close to what looks like a dancefloor. Rose enlightens that we'll be able to see all the action from here, not that my idea of a distraction is watching drunken patrons shake their asses all over the dancefloor, but I digress. Minutes later, the waitress appears to take our drink orders.

"I'll have a dirty Martini." Rosalie says without hesitation. "What are you getting, Bella?"

"Cosmopolitan, please. Thank you."

The waitress scribbles down our orders and hands us menus.

"I'll be right back with your drinks, and Paul will be over to take your dinner orders," she adds in a chipper tone.

"I'm starving. You want to share an order of loaded fries?"

"You've read my mind. Hey, how did you hear of this place? It's…uh…interesting." My eyes sweep around cautiously.

"I told you, people at the office were raving about it, and I've been told the owner is gorgeous."

"Rosalie Hale, do not tell me you're planning on hitting on the owner?"

"I'm not!" she shrieks in mock horror.

The waitress returns with our drinks and is soon followed by Paul, who takes our food order.

As we settle in and unwind, we hear a loud, booming laugh coming from behind the bar.

The guy is tall, well-muscled and gorgeous with dark, nearly black hair. He must be the owner, Emmett. A crowd of boisterous men, clearly enjoying his repartee, surrounds him.

Music starts playing, and suddenly nearly everyone, including Rosalie jumps up to dance.

"That's our cue, Swan, come on."

"Oh, no…you're going to have to handle this one on your own."

"Suit yourself." She hikes up her skirt a couple of inches, tosses her hair, and sashays out onto the dance floor. I watch as she disappears into a crowd of bumping and grinding, probably half-sloshed people. Only Rosalie could be so brazen.

I shrug my shoulders and devour fries while sipping my drink. I've finished my first Cosmo and motion for the waitress to bring me another.

I look back into the crowd and see Rose coyly giggling it up with some guy, who is whispering in her ear. He playfully twirls her around, and I get a closer look at him.

My heart nearly stops.

_Shit!_ _What the hell is he doing?_

I watch, astonished, as his hands slide down her backside and squeeze firmly. Roses' arms are wrapped around his neck as her hips sway with his. Voyeurism is not something that I'd call myself practiced in, however I'm unable to tear my eyes away from_ this_ train-wreck waiting to happen.

"Jesus! Holy matrimony means nothing to this guy." I shake my head in distaste.

He pulls her closer, raises his head, and as his eyes lift slowly, they lock with mine. They widen briefly, his look morphs into one of cockiness and settles into pure lust. He watches me intently as he gropes and kneads Rosalie' ass with a wicked smirk on his face. He dips his head and places a lingering kiss to her neck, never breaking eye contact with me.

Ashamed and a bit disgusted, I turn my head and sip my drink, not wanting to see what he does next.

The music changes, and in my peripheral I see Rose approach our table.

"Wow! That was fun." She fans her face and adjusts her skirt.

"I'm sure it was," I spit out caustically.

"Did you see the guy I was dancing with? Was he something or what?" She continues, ignoring my tone.

"I'll take the 'or what' for a thousand, Alex," I mock. She rolls her eyes and playfully swats my arm.

"So, what did you think? He's smoking, right?"

"Oh, he definitely needs _his_ fire extinguished that's for sure." I scoff and look away.

"Tell me about it, he's sexy and confident as hell. He asked me to join him for a nightcap. Well technically he didn't use the word 'nightcap', he flat out asked if I wanted to get a room."

"I'm not surprised at all that he asked that."

"He had the nerve to tell me that after one night with him, I'd be ruined for all other men. Can you believe that?"

There's a lot I want to say to that comment, but I refrain for obvious reasons.

"With the way his hips move, I'm sure it would be the best sex I've had in months. The way he pressed himself against me, I could surely tell there's something promising going on below the belt," she breathed in a dazed state.

"Rose!"

"What? Come on, Bella, I need this. Hell, you need it too. I suggest you get out there and find some hot guy to shake up your life."

"Rose, the last thing I need is some stranger in a bar slobbering all over me and bragging about his bedroom skills. I have enough issues with Jacob. And I thought you'd be smarter."

"Are you calling me dumb, Doctor Bella?"

It's a sure sign of irritation when she starts calling me _'Doctor Bella'_.

"Of course not! You're one the most intelligent people I know and that's why I know that you know better than to entertain a guy like that," I jam thumb in the direction to where Dr. Masen is now mingling with a few other male patrons.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Rose you can't leave with that guy, because–h" I pause before I say something that could cause me my medical license and me to be sued. "You just can't."

Her sudden need to act reckless has me wondering if the mixologist put a little something extra 'dirty' in her martini.

She frowns.

"It's just sex, Bella. Believe me, I'm a big girl and know all the necessary precautions to take if I want to indulge in a little fun with no strings attached," she squints at me, "I don't see why you're being so judgmental about this. I haven't said that I would _for certain_ do anything. I'm just having a little fun, chatting with my best friend about the hot guy."

Realizing that I can't reveal the identity of Dr. Masen as my patient, but I have to say something now that I've aroused her suspicions.

"Any fool can see that guy's married, and even if he wasn't, don't you find it a bit reckless that he's propositioning you to have sex after only just meeting you five minutes ago? God only knows how many other women he's approached with that line already."

I take a sip of my drink, considering the actual truth behind that statement. Edward Masen clearly lacks in couth when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex.

Her head whips around in his direction, and he tilts his drink in the air at us.

"You think?"

"Yep, and you've just been added to a long list of possible conquests. Congratulations, Rosalie."

My disgust at him and irritation with her almost had me make a costly, unprofessional mistake, but he's enough to try the patience of a saint.

She plops down in her chair and tosses the remaining contents of her drink down her throat.

"Maybe he's the owner of the club?"

"He's not. Trust me."

"How do you know?"

Edward's eyes lock with mine once again; his gaze intense, burning right through me. Rosalie witnesses the exchange.

"Oh my God. You know him, don't you?"

I don't respond and look away.

"You said he was married. You do. You know him; _really know_ him."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Rose. You're reaching, as always."

A smile spreads slowly across her face, as if she's come to some sort of realization. She points at me suggestively. "You fucked him!"

"_What?_ I can assure you that I haven't, Rose. A man like that has enough problems in his marriage without throwing me into the mix." I mumble. Rosalie's eyes widen.

"_That's him_! He's your−"

Rosalie has always been too intuitive for her own good.

"Don't you dare say it, and don't look for me to confirm anything, Rosalie Hale. He's off limits. Just leave it at that." I whisper angrily.

"Fine, Dr. Bella." She smiles smugly.


	4. Chapter 4

Dissecting Edward Chapter 3

The alarm clock blares, causing me to groan. I slam my hand blindly over the snooze button and turn over for a few more minutes of sleep.

"How many times are you going to hit that thing?"

"As many times as I need to," I mumble into the pillow.

I peek out of one eye to see her standing at the foot of the bed, dressed in nothing but lacy, black underwear; previously charged to my Amex Black card, no doubt, which I use specifically for these types of purchases.

I watch as she massages cream into her hands and regards me with a smirk.

"Come back to bed." I yawn and hold out my hand to her.

"That's a first," she laughs. "It's almost daybreak. Don't want to get into hot water with the Missus."

"You let me worry about that," I playfully yank her over and down on top of me. She adjusts her body, so she's planted more firmly on the part of me that's starting to wake.

"Living dangerously, aren't we, Doctor?"

"I'll handle my wife. You concentrate on handling _other_ things." I thrust my hips into her.

I don't waste time on foreplay or telling her how beautiful she is. Moving the lace of her French panties aside, I slide into her warmth. I groan deeply. She smiles salaciously and starts to ride me; hard and fast, just the way I like it. No caresses, no kisses or kind words, just raw abandon.

"Yeah, just like that," I moan satisfyingly as she moves in a circular motion.

I grip her lace-covered breasts and knead roughly. She throws her head back, unleashing her enjoyment in the faintest giggle. She's like me; she loves the thrill and rawness of sex without limitations. Her nails claw at my chest and abdomen, and I feel her walls clenching around me. She's close, but too close for me. I'm not nearly ready for this to end.

"Up." I give her a sharp tap on the ass, and she climbs off me, grinning wickedly. I make the motion with my index finger for her to turn around and bend over.

I stroke myself a few times as I watch her get into position. "Hands and knees, baby." She complies. I reach out quickly, yanking her panties halfway down her thighs, spreading them to receive me.

"One last thing." I reach over to the nightstand and grab the remote for the camera. It's already set up to capture every movement, expression and emotion.

"Perfect," I whisper with a smile as I see our image come into focus on the camera screen.

She bites down on her bottom lip in anticipation, and without warning, I ease back inside.

Our loud grunts, heavy panting and the odd expletive fill the room as I ride her hard. She takes everything I have to give and never complains about it being too much or too rough.

I watch the sweat dew up on her back and slowly trickle down her spine. Every so often, I glance up to the camera. I smile at the sight before me, her face contorted into an expression of pleasure and pain.

"Fuck, that's good." I growl, feeling my climax approaching.

She chants that she's close. I grab hold of her curly, red hair and buck wildly into her.

"Oh Shit!" I pant hoarsely, and I tense up as my release expels in surges.

A long, strangled grunt leaves me, as my orgasm plays out. She stays in place until I'm completely depleted. I collapse on my back next to her, and she joins me.

"And scene," she laughs and looks over to see me smiling and breathless. She breaks out in a fit of giggles. "That was incredible," she pants.

"Yes, it was. I'll send you a copy, later."

"Liar," she says over her shoulder as she climbs out of bed and heads back to the shower.

_That was exactly what I needed. _

Sexually frustrated after my brief encounter with the sexy blonde last night, I called Victoria. She understands the way I like it; the way things need to be done. She knows not to get attached and not to lay any guilt trips on me. I can stay the night and walk away in the morning without having to pacify her. Victoria needs no explanations, and we've become friends of sorts.

This would give the good doctor something to shrink. Doctor Isabella Marie Swan. What would she say if she knew that I've been fucking her receptionist since day one? There'd certainly be an exercise for that!

I'm sure that, one way or the other, she threw a monkey wrench into my plans last night_. _Doctor Bella Swan is one major cock blocker.

I must admit, I was a little surprised to see her at my brother's club. She doesn't seem like the type to let her hair down, have a cocktail or two; but low and behold, there she was. Stunningly beautiful with her ivory skin and her hair loose, hanging long and wild down her back and delectable, pouty mouth. She'd shed the glasses she always wears during our sessions, and even from a distance, those exotic eyes seemed to burn right into me. It isn't that she doesn't look delectable with the librarian bun and specs, but this way clearly suggests that she can remove the stick from her ass.

She, however, left me in no doubt last night, about her disgust as she turned away from my exhibition last night. She'll probably conclude our next session with yet another exercise for me to work on. More brain picking to try and figure me out.

Let her have fun trying. I have no time to be figured out by a woman, let alone one who is a shrink trying to dig around in my head. Therapy is just a means to an end and will surely be coming to an _end_ soon.

I decide to pay Jasper a visit after my shift to see if he's made any progress on the Lauren situation.

"The house looks good. Finally getting everything settled?" We sit by the pool, enjoying the mild, autumn weather.

"Yeah, thanks. Getting this place exactly how your sister wants it isn't an easy task. She's lucky I love her so much." He offers me a beer from the cooler.

"Well, she deserves it. Thanks." I pop the cap and take a swig. "By the way, she's to know nothing about you investigating Lauren for me."

"Do you think I'm crazy? Even though our wives aren't the best of friends, she would have my ass if she knew anything about what you've asked me to do. Speaking of which, I know you didn't come here to talk about how nice my house looks, so what is it now?"

I swallow the beer I'm holding in my mouth. "Any progress?"

"Not yet. I need more time."

"Screw it. I don't have any time to waste. I'll figure out a way to get her off my back myself." I huff in annoyance.

"Just hold on a while longer, Edward. I will find out where she's stashing your little porn collection, I guarantee it."

I ignore his statement and gaze out toward the pool.

"Daddy, daddy…"

My nephew comes skipping out, holding a large sheet of paper, dripping with paint. He runs straight past me, oblivious to my presence.

"Hey buddy, what do you have there?" His father picks him up and places him on his lap.

"It's a fwire twuck. I made it fwo you, Daddy."

"You made it for me? Wow look at that! It's the coolest fire truck I've ever seen, buddy."

I smile at Josh and Jasper. I'm envious of their relationship.

Children don't factor into my life plan now, but I love my nephew without bounds. If I'd had kids, I'd want to them be just like him. He's smart, inquisitive and simply adorable.

"Josh, did you forget to say hi to Uncle Edward?" Jasper whispers to him. I watch his blue eyes widen as he turns to face me, and my smile spreads as his eyes lock with mine.

"Uncwle Edward!" he gasps in surprise, hops off his father's lap and races toward me.

"Hey, champ! How are you?" I laugh as he throws his arms around my neck and squeezes tightly.

"I'm fwine. I made a fwire twuck!" He holds the painting up for me to see.

"I see that. You're getting so good. Do you think you can make a painting like that for my office?"

"A fwire twuck?" His eyes widen with excitement.

"Hmmm…how about you make something extra special for Uncle Edward, Josh?" Jasper adds.

"Okway, Daddy. I'm gwoing to make it now!" he says excitedly, handing me the painting and takes off, running back to the house. "Bye, Uncwle Edward!"

"Bye, buddy."

"Man, he's getting so big and talented," I chuckle, holding up the dripping artwork.

"Yeah, I know. Your sister wants another one. She had a complete meltdown when we took him for his first day of preschool. She cried, saying her baby didn't need her anymore. It was extremely embarrassing, I think she's having a midlife crisis or something."

"She's twenty-eight, Jasper."

"Hey, I know that, but you weren't there. She barely wanted to let Josh go. _He_ had to reassure _her _that he would be fine! Imagine that; a four-year old boy consoling his mother."

"Well, he's intelligent. I'm sure he gets it from me."

"Mighty cocky of you to take all the credit for _my_ son's intelligence. I'm _sure_ I had nothing to do with any of it, you arrogant bastard."

"You're welcome," I deadpan.

"Seriously, Edward, I see the way you are with Josh. Kids still not an option for you?"

I stare out at the beautiful acres of land he's just had landscaped. _This is a perfect place to raise a family. _My thoughts drift to _him. EJ._

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him; what he'd look like, how smart he'd be. He'd be around three years older than Josh now, starting second grade, telling me what he wants to be when he grows up.

I scrub a hand over my face trying to shake the thoughts, but it's futile, and Jasper knows.

"You're thinking about him."

"Not a day goes by."

"You have to let what happened go, Edward. It was an accident."

"Says you."

"You can have more chil–"

"Look, can we talk about something else? I don't want to get into this again," my irritation gets the better of me. I hate that he knows that I'm so vulnerable about this subject. I hate that anyone knows.

"Okay," he sighs. "I have a guy tailing Lauren. I should have some information for you by the end of the day."

"I look forward to it." I place my sunglasses back on as I get up from my seat.

"Hey, where are you going? Stay a while. I'll throw some steaks on the grill and invite Emmett over. We can make it a guys' day. Josh would love having both of his uncles here."

"I can't. I have a therapist's appointment. Rain-check?"

"On a Saturday?"

"It appears that I'm a special case, if I'm quoting the good doctor correctly."

"Okay, sure, just let me know. So, therapy, huh, how's that going?" He laughs heartily.

"Fuck you, and I hate it with a passion. I'm counting on you to get me out of it by the end of the day. If not, I might end up banging my marriage therapist."

He smiles at me and shakes his head, not realizing just how serious I am.

.

.

_Mmmm…sheer, black stockings with seams running down the back, ending in a little black bow just above her shoe-line. Isabella, you sure know what I like._

The bun is secured, and this time, strong, black frames are back. She stands with her back turned to me and asks whether I've completed last week's exercise. This is a change from the normal way we'd conduct our sessions. Standing instead of sitting? Yeah, I'd wager she's most definitely on edge after seeing me at the club the other night_. Damn_, _I'd make a good shrink!_

"Doctor?"

"Doctor?" I repeat, and she turns to eye me skeptically.

"I asked you a question." She leans against the edge of her desk and folds her arms.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to ask me again. My thoughts were…elsewhere. I apologize." I smirk smugly at her.

"Anything you'd like to discuss?"

"No…no, Doctor, I wouldn't, but back to your question."

She looks at me as if she's trying to pull the thoughts straight from my brain. I watch as she inhales and exhales in frustration.

"Were you and Mrs. Masen able to make any progress with the exercise I suggested last week?"

"What did you suggest again?"

"I'll take that as a no. You know, Dr. Masen, unless you embrace therapy, things are never going to get better between you and your wife."

"Who says I want them to get better?"

"Isn't that why you're here?" Her eyebrows knit in confusion.

"You and I both know that I don't want to be here. This is all Lauren's idea."

"Doctor Masen, I'm confused. If you're not going to co-operate with therapy, and if you don't want to be here, then why not just leave and scrap the therapy sessions altogether?"

"Because she has me by my balls," I snap. I find that sitting with her standing is making me feel awkward, so I rise to my feet and take a little stroll around her office.

"How does she have you feeling so compromised?"

This is her forte, to get me to divulge intimate shit about my personal life. I don't know how much Lauren's told her, but I do know she has some idea after last week's session.

"Is this about what happened at your wedding?"

"No," I scoff.

"Is this about the incriminating proof of your indiscretions your wife possesses?"

My head jerks around to meet her unmistakably sardonic expression. I don't know why I'm shocked to hear her mention this; I knew Lauren would be itching to tell her about it.

"Proof?" I feign ignorance.

"Yes, proof, Doctor. I'm aware something exists."

So, she _is _aware. God only knows how Lauren must've described them to her. Hell, God only knows what she must be thinking, but I don't give a rat's ass.

_You want to play, Doctor? Okay, let's play._

"What do you _think _you're aware of?"

"That's not how this works, Doctor Masen. I ask the questions, and you're supposed to provide me with insight so that I can help you."

"You think I need help because I record my sexual encounters with women?"

"Recordings? Are those the specifics that are being referred to, Doctor Masen, your trysts with other women?" She adjusts her glasses and peers at me over the rim.

Now she's starting to piss me off.

"Oh, come on, Doctor Swan. You know goddamned well what the _specifics_ are. I'm sure my wife told you, but I'm also sure what she _hasn't _told you is how she's abducted and held it ransom over my life. As a result of that, I'm here, in marriage therapy hell." I gesture around her office.

"Doctor Masen, firstly, let me start by saying that your wife has not divulged the contents of said recordings. I simply know that some sort of proof of something exists, and whatever it contains, factors in the strain on your marriage. Case in point, _marriage therapy hell_, as you so eloquently put it." She holds out her hand in my direction, crediting my earlier statement.

"Now, as to what my thoughts are on the information you just gave me, I would have to say that your marriage is in dire need of help …"

"My marriage…" I rudely cut in.

"What I'm aware of, _Doctor_," she interrupts, "is that last week _you, _not your wife but _you, _provided explicit detail on how you were unfaithful at your wedding." She appears to be getting a tad annoyed.

"You sound a bit biased, Doctor Swan. Of _course_, what's wrong in my marriage is entirely my fault." My voice is laden with heavy sarcasm.

"I didn't say that."

"It was implied."

She removes her glasses and rubs her forehead in irritation. She hooks them onto the front of her blouse and tents her fingers, breathing deeply. She's either trying her best to calm herself or thinking carefully before she responds.

"It wasn't implied. I'm just relaying the details that I've been presented with. Whether you or your wife is to blame for the problems in your marriage, is none of my concern. My job is to assist you both in overcoming them."

"And as I already stated, who says I want that?" I snap.

Her eyebrows furrow in anger, and she throws her hands up in defeat. She walks around her desk and settles into her chair and starts closing files, putting them away.

"That's it?"

"That's it." She looks at me in mock amusement. "Why waste your time and money?"

"My time, my money."

"I agree, Doctor Masen. Although, you and I both have successful careers in the medical profession, so I need not explain to you how vital our time is. And as you well know my services don't come cheap, and I have no problem with _taking_ your money if you just want to incautiously dole it out. However, I hardly believe a man of your stature and affluence wants to waste either."

"A bit too complex for you, Doctor?"

"No not all. Complexity is something I went through eight years of university for. My problem is not with complexity, Doctor Masen, my problem is with waste."

"Waste?" I frown as she slams things on her desk.

"Waste, Doctor Masen, as in someone wasting _my_ time! I would rather give my help to people who want and are appreciative of it."

"Look here, Doctor Swan, I don't have to appreciate a damned thing. You get paid to shrink. Don't act as if you're doing me some goddamned favor by analyzing my bullshit."

Her mouth drops open in astonishment, and I can tell by her heightened color that she's very pissed off.

"Good day, Doctor Masen," she says dismissively and gestures toward the door.

_Fuck! _

The moment Lauren finds out that my session went awry, she'd be waving the threat of my infidelity in my face again. I need to do some back-pedaling; and fast. I run a hand through my hair; perch the other on my hip and breathe deeply to tamp down my annoyance.

"All right, you win. What is it that you want to know?"

"Nothing. You're free to leave." She responds nonchalantly, not looking up from tidying her desk.

_Shit._ _Now I bet she's expecting me to kiss her perfect, tight, little ass._

I exhale sharply as I prepare, reluctantly, to give her what she's waiting for.

"Look, I apologize for my insolent behavior. This is…difficult for me." I exaggerate, and she notices. Her eyes dart to mine, and she gives me a look that tells me she knows I'm bullshitting. "I'm not used to discussing such…intimate details of my life," I continue crossly.

Not uttering a word, she places her glasses back on and reopens her file. I wait for her to address me, but she doesn't.

_So, more ass kissing, huh, Doctor?_

"Can we continue?" I ask, probably a little more harshly than I should. She gestures for me to take my seat.

I sit and wait for her to proceed.

I raise my eyebrows to let her know that I'm ready. She reclines back in her chair and stares unblinkingly at me for some moments, assessing me, for what, I don't know.

"Are we going to get to the root of this problem, Doctor Masen?"

"Which is?"

"Everything I've come to know about you convinces me that you may have a sexual addiction."

I could be offended at that comment, but instead, I throw my head back, and laugh.

_You have no idea, Doctor Swan, no idea at all._


	5. Chapter 5

Dissecting Edward Chapter 4

"What an insufferable prick!" I'm still fuming as I drive home. Boy, did I make a mistake when I insisted on this Saturday session. He'd cancelled his appointment twice before, citing work commitments, and I just wanted to accommodate him and hopefully make some progress with his marital problems. But it's plain that he isn't interested in getting help, he's only in therapy to appease his wife.

"His wife," I scoff. She must be insane to want to stay married to him. He's rude, disrespectful, arrogant and an unapologetic jackass.

As I wait at a green light, consumed by irritation, a horn blare from behind startles me. "I see the green light, you jerk!" I turn my ire on the impatient driver as he veers around my car and flips me the finger.

This is not how I had wanted to spend my Saturday. I had planned on sleeping in, having a ridiculously high-calorie breakfast and then just sitting on the sofa all day and night, watching movies, while snacking on more unhealthy food. In short, do nothing but indulge after a trying week. Not everyone's idea of a fun weekend, I know, but sure beats sitting in my office with Doctor Edward Masen!

I exhale a sigh of relief as I finally pull into my car park and hurriedly make my way inside. I drop my bags at the door and as I walk through the living room, I immediately notice the blinking light on the answering machine. I sigh, knowing who's called. He's been calling and leaving messages all week. I kick off my shoes, as I unbutton my shirt and pull it out of my skirt as I hit the 'play' button.

"First message," the computerized voice intones.

"Hey, babe it's me. I've been trying to call you all day. Call me when you get this." _Beep_

"Second message…"

"Hey it's me again. Are you home yet? Call me."

I walk away and remove my blouse, letting it float to the floor as I enter the kitchen. I treat myself by pouring a glass of one of my favorite and expensive Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon wines.

"Third Message…"

"Okay, I'm starting to think that you're avoiding me…" I nod in confirmation. "…this is infantile, Bella. Call me back."

He's perceptive; I'll give him that. I sip my wine as I walk back to the living room and release my hair from its bun. I plop down onto the sofa. with a contented sigh.

"Fourth message,"

"Jesus Christ!" I scoff.

"Bella, it's, Jake. Baby, look, I know you're still pissed about the other night, but we can't get past it, if you won't talk to me…so…I'm coming over." _Beep_

"Damn it!" I really don't feel like dealing with him right now, especially not after the morning I've had.

My cell rings, and I answer it immediately.

"Look, Jake, I'm tired. I've had a rough morning, and I just want to relax. I'll call you later." I end the call before he has a chance to speak.

Satisfied with myself, I kick my legs up onto the coffee table and recline into the sofa. A loud banging on the door startles me, causing me to nearly spill wine down my front. How the hell did he get up here?

"Damn it!" I jump up and storm over to the door.

"Didn't I just tell you I'd talk to you later? And how the hell did you get in here?"

"Sorry, I was already in the parking lot and one of your neighbor's recognized me and let me in." I gape at him as he sweeps past me.

_The nerve of this bastard!_

"Jake, I really don't have the inclination for this. I'll talk to you later," I repeat, more harshly this time. I hold the door open, gesturing for him to leave.

"Too bad. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere until we talk, have some make-up sex, then cuddle. No particular order works for me."

_Who the hell does he think he is?_

He waltzes in, stripping off his tie and tosses it on my sofa as he makes his way to the kitchen. I slam the door and follow him. He reaches for a glass and pours himself some of my expensive wine; and that's when I decide I've had enough. I grab the glass from his hand and place it on the counter.

"What the hell? What are you doing, Bella?" He looks at me as if I've just lost my mind.

"This is my shit." I gesture to the glass of wine. Go home, Jacob. I want to be alone."

"You know what, Bella, be careful what you wish for." His ebony eyes blaze with fury.

"Oh really?" I snort, "Get out."

"No! This is ridiculous. We're a young and extremely attractive couple. We should be planning how we're going to spend our weekend together. We should be going out, dancing or going to the theater. We should be having dinner in an elegant restaurant, stumbling into the house late at night, tipsy and deliriously happy. We should be making love until the sun comes up. This is not how a beautiful, young, sexy and successful woman should behave."

I'm livid. How dare he barge into my house and lecture me like I'm a child.

"You want to talk about _behavior,_ Jacob? Fine, let's. Let's talk about your behavior last week at your company dinner. Let's talk about the way you got drunk and embarrassed the shit out of me that night!"

"Come on, baby! I've apologized for that, over and over." He tries to pull me close.

I swat his hands away angrily and hold up a hand in warning.

"Get out of my apartment, Jacob. Now!" I turn, reach for my glass and walk up the stairs to prepare a bath. "I was kidding about the damned threesome!" I hear him yell out as he slams the door.

Is this what my life is reduced to now?

I remember meeting him at college. He was so sweet and confident and mesmerizing to look at; six foot-four, great physique, nearly jet, black hair and the darkest eyes I've ever seen. After casually dating for a while and then having briefly gone our separate ways, we reunited and decided to date exclusively. I've spent five years in a relationship with Jacob Black.

We were happy at first, but he's changed since he joined the top-notch law firm, Cullen and Clearwater. The company is co-owned by Jake's uncle and Carlisle Cullen, who is a close friend of his father. Given his relationship with both owners, he was all but guaranteed employment when he passed the bar exam.

Our relationship has gone downhill since he started working there. Feeling that he's 'made it', and seemingly wanting to fit the profile for success in the company, he's been pressuring me about getting married. And he voices the desire for me to give up work once married, a little too often, in my opinion. What the hell does he think I spent eight years of my life studying for and why does he think that his career is more important than mine? I care for him deeply, but we need a break.

The water is the perfect temperature. I light a scented candle and sink down into the silky bubbles with a blissful sigh. Sipping on my wine, I lean my head back and close my eyes. I just need to clear my head and put the day behind me. "No Jake, no Doctor Masen, just peace and quiet."

I feel myself relaxing.

.

.

.

"I bet your husband doesn't fuck you like this, does he?" I grunt as I slam into her. "_Does he_?"

"No!" She whimpers and tries to regain her balance. She's bent over at the waist, gripping her ankles as I take her from behind.

Angela, 'Angel' Newton a petite, nerdy triage nurse; recently married to Doctor Mike Newton, is my latest liaison. She's shy and soft-spoken; likes it rough though. Her husband has no clue that his precious little 'Angel' is a wanton, closet-freak.

"Say it. Say no one fucks you like me."

"I–no–ah!"

"_Say it_!"

"No one fucks me like you!" she gasps breathlessly; she also loves for me to talk dirty.

"That's the shit I like to hear…mmm."

The rhythmic sounds of flesh slapping bounce off the walls. I spread my legs wider and dig my fingers into her supple mounds for support. Changing the angle, I thrust upward. I love to fuck standing up, especially in this position. She's completely at my mercy, and she knows not to let go of her ankles.

Her perky breasts bounce with each drive of my cock_._

"Oh, God! I can't…I can't…" She struggles to formulate words.

I feel her legs begin to tremble; the sweat from our skin is making our movements clumsy.

"Just hold on, baby. I'm almost there." I croon as her walls clamps down on me. She gasps, and holds her breath, then lets out a shriek. Her body shakes violently, as I continue to pound. I growl, spilling into the condom.

Her knees buckle and we collapse to the floor, with me still buried deep inside of her.

"Fuck," I pant against her damp skin and silently curse myself for not setting up the camera. A complete missed opportunity.

I get to my feet and remove the condom in the bathroom. I flush it down the toilet, then splash my face with cold water and look up into the mirror. I scrub my hand over my face and grin, "This one's on you, Doctor Swan."

.

.

.

**.**

"Where the hell have you been? I've been calling and calling." Lauren rages as soon as I unlock the front door.

"I had a meeting." I say nonchalantly. I used to be inventive but lately, I've just given up. There's only so many lies you can tell anyway.

"Liar! There was no meeting. I called the hospital looking for you, and they said you weren't due in until later."

"Yeah…well…"

I don't look at her, but in my periphery, I note her shocked expression.

"Is that all you have to say, Edward?" She perches her hands on her hips and blocks my path as I enter the family room.

I stop to look at her. "Yes, that's all I have to say."

I sidestep her and make my way to the coffee table to collect the mail. I flip through and pause as my eyes settle on a familiar looking logo. The envelope's been opened. I angrily toss the remaining mail on the table and turn to Lauren.

"Opening my mail now? Is there any length you won't go to?"

"I wasn't aware that La Perla formed part of your wardrobe, Edward?" Her eyebrows are raised, a smug smirk plastered on her face.

"Opening other people's mail is a criminal offense, Lauren." My anger rises, but I keep my tone calm, because I know that arguing is what she does best.

"Criminal my ass, we're married. Who the fuck are you buying lingerie for? And before you lie, I'd rethink it if I were you."

"We _are _married, how the hell could I ever forget, but the envelope is clearly addressed to _Doctor_ Edward Masen." I practically shove the envelope in her face. "And I wasn't going to lie, it's no secret that I fuck other women. You have the evidence to prove it. I don't know what you plan to accomplish by opening my mail. I ought to have your ass thrown into prison." I walk away from her and head up the stairs to take a shower. I should've known she'd be right behind me.

"Good luck trying to make _that_ happen. You'd look like a fool."

I start undressing. She walks through the door and slams her hand against the frame, then buries her head in her hands.

"I don't know how we got here," she mumbles, through her splayed fingers.

"You know exactly how we got here, Lauren." I shed my shirt and sit down on the bed to remove my shoes.

She looks up at me and shakes her head. "I wish I'd never married you."

"Well, then do us both a favor and file for a divorce, Lauren! Neither one of us is happy. You know why we got married in the first place. It shouldn't be that hard for us to end it."

The fury in her eyes dies down, and I'm all too familiar with the expression she now wears. It's one of desperation, pleading. She's going to fight for us; again. I can't let her do it. I've never encouraged her to walk away from our marriage after one of our epic arguments in the past, but I've never encouraged her to fight for it either. Normally, we'd fight verbally, throw insults and be silent for a few days. I would go out on some escapade with a woman, and she'd find out about it one way or another and turn a blind eye.

I'm exhausted with the routine; she is too. She knows I want out of the marriage. I've wanted it for a long, long time. But she refuses to admit that it's the right, and the only thing left to do. She's holding onto my infidelity in videotaped form, thinking that it will scare me straight. The only thing it does, is back me into a corner. Like a trapped animal, I must fight to get away, not caring who I hurt in the process.

"Edward, please…if we tried …

"I fucked someone just before I came home." I cut her off before she has a chance to humiliate herself. I feel pretty low doing this, but I can't stop myself. I can't breathe anymore. I'm suffocating in this farcical marriage, and it's as if she's crushing my lungs with her delicate hands.

"Irina?" She gnashes her teeth and spits her name like it's filth. "Was it her?"

"What difference does it make?" I walk over to the armoire to grab a change of clothing. I'm baiting her; I know that Irina is the one person that will push her over the edge.

"Answer me!"

I don't want to lie, so I look over my shoulder at her with some sort expression I can't even begin to explain, but it's enough of a confirmation for her.

"You son of a bitch!" She lunges at me; slapping me so hard a tear escapes from an eye. She keeps pounding on my chest, swinging wildly. I catch a stray slap to the face a couple of times as I try to grab hold of her arms.

"Calm the fuck down, Lauren!"

"I hate you, you bastard!"

I'm finally able to control her flailing arms and twist her around so her back is pressed against my chest and her arms are trapped by her side; but she still struggles.

"Let go of me now, you…you…"

"Stop fighting me," I breathe roughly in her ear.

"Fuck you!" She manages to get one of her arms loose and claws at my hand, trying to free the other.

"Fuck, Lauren!" She digs her nails into the back of my hand, and for some reason it arouses the shit out of me.

"When I'm through with you in court you won't have a penny to spend on that bitch, then you'll see how fast she dumps your ass!" She tries to elbow me in the midsection, and we to fall to the bed, me on top of her. She wriggles and struggles trying to break free, and it stirs the lust in me.

"Get off me, Edward"

"Damn it, Lauren. I didn't fuck her!"

"You're a liar and a bastard, now get off!"

I'm finally able to grab both her arms and pin them above her head. "Hold still."

All the struggling and movement, causes me to unintentionally grind into her from behind and I'm instantly hard.

"What are you doing?"

I bury my face in the crook her neck. My tongue darts out, tasting the saltiness of her drenched skin. I lick up her neck, around to the shell of her ear and nibble the lobe. Her fighting begins to subside.

"Now you want to fuck me?" She moans breathlessly.

"Isn't this what you want?"

"You're a pig." She starts moving against me, as she taunts back. "This is what you like, isn't it?"

I gather both of her wrists in one hand. Reaching down with my other, I slither my hand in between us and unbuckle my pants, pulling out my erection. We're both panting heavily as I reach underneath her and undo the button on her jeans and yank them down to just below her ass.

"No panties, someone's ready."

"Don't be cocky," she moans as I drag a finger up her wetness testing her.

"Too late," I breathe huskily in her ear.

This will not be easy with both of us still partially dressed, but I'm nothing if not thorough. I rise to my knees slightly, fist my cock and pump it a few times, and then sink inside her. We're both out of control and everything is moving so fast. Our movements are reckless and rough. I'm not going to last long. I pump into her viciously; grunting so hard that my voice becomes hoarse.

"Oh God!" she yells out loudly.

I can feel her slick walls start to grip my shaft, and I know she's close. My hand slips between her legs, and I rub her clit vigorously, still pounding into her.

"Yes. God!"

She starts pushing back to meet my thrusts, and I come violently, spewing a barrage of colorful words. Her orgasm follows almost immediately as I continue rubbing her. I remain inside of her, resting heavily on her back. We're both physically and emotionally spent.

I roll off her onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, my pants still halfway down my thighs, cock out. This is bad.

_What the fuck did I just do?_

I look over to Lauren and her expression mirrors what I feel. She runs both of her hands through her long, wild hair.

"I want a divorce," she says robotically.

"Um…okay?" I say, not expecting that to come out of her mouth.

"I did love you, Edward." She looks over at me and strokes my face with her ring finger. Ironically.

I want to say I loved her too, but honestly, I don't think I ever did.

"I know." I rake my hand through my hair and tuck myself back into my boxers and redo my pants.

She exhales shakily and rises from the bed, pulling up her jeans. I look on, as she fluffs out her hair and goes over to our walk–in closet to retrieve some clothing.

"You don't have to leave, Lauren. I'll go. I can stay in my office at the hospital. I have a ton of work to catch up on anyway."

"Oh, I'm not leaving, Edward. You are. This is your shit." She holds up an armful of clothing for me to see and hurls it at me. "I'll see you in court."

She sashays out of the bedroom, leaving me sitting on the bed, surrounded by a cloud of clothing.

I'm gathering up my things when she waltzes back in; cheerfully, I might add.

"Oops, I forgot something." She steps back into the closet for a briefly and remerges with a small safe box.

My eyes follow her as she carries the box over to the door.

"I can't forget this. Goodnight, Edward."

She closes the door behind her, and I curse silently, realizing what's inside that safe box.

She's kept it hidden all this time and now suddenly decides to reveal its whereabouts? She wanted me to see it; it's the ultimate '_fuck you, Edward Masen'._

"Son of a bitch!" I snatch my clothes off the bed. I can't deal with this now. I'm going to be late for work; Jasper needs to do something urgently.

As I haphazardly toss clothing into a suitcase, I hear a clinking noise as something hits the floor. I look around and find a little metal key, attached to a delicate, broken chain.

"What the hell is this?" I retrieve it and hold it aloft. I examine it but don't have time to delve into this now; I have surgery in an hour. I stuff the key into my pocket and pull on a shirt, zip my suitcase and head downstairs. Lauren is nowhere in sight.


	6. Chapter 6

Dissecting Edward Chapter 5

"I don't know what to do!" I lean over and pluck two tissues from the dispenser on my desk and hand them to her.

"Thank you." She continues to sniff quietly after blowing her nose and drying her eyes.

"You're welcome; now take a deep breath and tell me what's happened."

"I can't believe I was so stupid!"

"You're not stupid. Just tell me what's happened."

She takes a deep breath, straightens her glasses with a shaky hand, her mouth opens and closes repeatedly, and she succumbs to tears once again.

"Everything's going to be all right. A month ago, things in your life were wonderful, and you and your husband were talking about starting a family. What has you so upset, Angela?"

"I'm cheating on Mike!" She sobs even louder.

_Well shit. I didn't see this coming._

Angela and Mike Newton have been my patients for about twelve months. They first came to see me at the three-year mark in their permanent relationship. For the most part their relationship appeared to be blissful, with them having only minor concerns and questions about their future. They've viewed therapy a way to avoid potential problems. Newly married now, they decided to reduce their sessions to monthly until such time as they feel more settled into their new relationship, so I was a bit surprised that Angela had made this appointment to see me on her own. He's a surgeon; confident and successful and quite easily the dominant partner in their relationship. Angela is extremely shy, almost introverted, so I'm shocked to learn that she's been unfaithful to her husband!

"Alright, calm down. What exactly happened? I keep my expression neutral.

"I don't know! I…I just…I don't know…"

"Are you and Mike having problems?

"No…I mean we weren't…I mean no, we're not having problems. It's just…this guy…this man is so gorgeous and perfect." She stops crying, and her eyes light up.

"So, you cheat on your husband to be with some gorgeous, perfect guy?"

"Doctor Swan, please don't say it like that. He's so much more than that."

"Your husband or the guy,"

"The other guy!" She gets up from her seat and starts walking around the room.

"I'm sorry, Angela, I was confused. Please, continue."

"He just knows what I need. He's gentle when he needs to be, rough when he needs to be; which, with me is most of the time." She giggles like a schoolgirl.

"Angela," I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, "it sounds to me like you're more concerned about the sexual gratification this _guy _gives you. Not one of the reasons you just gave refers to anything other than sex."

"That's…that's not all to him. He's just…amazing."

I don't think any good can be served by indulging her in her fantasies, time for 'tough love'. Here she is, three months into a marriage with a man who loves her, and she's ruining it for a good romp.

I shake my head at her.

"Angela, do you love your husband?"

"Yes…of course, I love Mike, but…"

"There are no _buts_. If you love your husband, you must stop cheating on him with this guy; that is, if you don't want to wreck your marriage?"

"No, I don't want to ruin my marriage." Now she sounds like a chastised child.

"Alright," I exhale and scribble some notes down on my pad. "I'm going to schedule to see you in two weeks. I suggest that in that time, you tell your husband about your infidelity; you owe it to him to be honest, Angela, he deserves no less. You should both attend the next session so we can work on you moving forward."

Her eyes widen, and she shakes her head frantically. "I can't tell Mike. I just can't!"

"Angela…Mike loves you. Yes, he'll be hurt, feel betrayed and probably be angry, but if you lie and he finds out about it from anyone other than you, how do you think he'll feel then?"

"Oh my God…oh my God!" She mumbles into her hands. "I can't tell Mike that I've been sleeping with Doctor Masen. He'll kill us both! You don't understand; Mike hates him!"

I pause over my I-phone and look up at her over the rim of my glasses.

_Masen? Christ on a bike!_

I can't believe it; and yet I shouldn't find it surprising. This guy has no scruples whatsoever.

I stare at the woman before me, crying uncontrollably and suddenly regretful. I guess she thought she was going to come to me, tell me about her exploits, and expect me tell her to go and say ten Hail Mary's or something; absolve her of her sins like going to confessional.

_Damn it, Edward Masen!_

The man is a marriage wrecking-ball; first ruining his own marriage and now this one. I wonder if he even gives a shit about the things he's done, lives he's ruined. Of course, he doesn't, he's only in it for carnal pleasure.

I place my phone on the desk more roughly than I intended. I pull out a referral pad, write on it, then place it in an envelope and address the front. I hold the envelope out to Angela.

"What's this?" She looks at my hand, frowning in confusion.

"It's a referral to one of the best therapists in the state, Doctor Tanya Denali. I think she'd be better able to assist you."

"Wait a second, you're bailing on me? Why?"

"Angela, I'm not bailing. I just feel that Doctor Denali is more qualified to deal with the situation you're facing. She's the best."

"I thought you were the best; at least that's what Mike told me. How come suddenly…"

I force the envelope into her hand and return to my seat behind the desk.

"You were all set to reschedule an appointment until I mentioned his name…Edward...you know him, don't you?"

I look up at her briefly and quickly divert my eyes back to a file. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, yes you do. As soon as I mentioned his name, you changed, like I'd struck a nerve or something…"

I arch an eyebrow at her.

"Oh my God!" Her hand flies up to cover her mouth. "You're sleeping with him too!"

"Excuse me?" I chortle incredulously.

"I heard he… he kind of sleeps around," she practically whispers.

"Well if you know that, then why would _you_ sleep with him, Angela?"

"I–I…"

"Listen, I don't mean to sound like I'm judging you. Please, just trust me and call Doctor Denali. You won't regret it." I usher her out of the door, before she can question me any further.

I lean against the door and exhale loudly. I'm beginning to wish harm on Doctor Edward Masen's private parts. Boy, does he have a pair of balls!

Having both couples as patients is possible. There's doctor/patient confidentiality, and I would not, in any case, betray either party's confidence, but frankly, I don't want to have to listen to more of his sexual exploits from another person. It's trying enough having to hear about it from him and his wife, as it is, not to mention having had a personal insight into how he operates from the Rosalie incident. It was also easier to refer Angela to another therapist than to try and advise Lauren Masen to find another therapist. That would just complicate matters even more.

I check on my next appointment and note that it's not until much later in the day, and that it's with Lauren Masen.

"Perfect." I chuckle sardonically and toss my phone onto my desk.

_I need to unwind before she shows up._

As if reading my mind, Rosalie bursts through the door. "Kickboxing first and exotic fruit smoothies immediately after? My treat.

"You're on." I grab my purse and hurry to join her.

"Jesus, Rose." We completed kickboxing class nearly ten minutes ago, and I'm still puffing.

"You need to work out more, Bella, then you wouldn't be struggling so much."

"Thank you, Rosalie 'Jane Fonda' Hale."

She laughs and practically drags me over to the stand where they sell the most sinful fruit smoothies. We make the most of the gorgeous, nearly seventy–five, degree day and sit outside. People are out walking their dogs, eating soft pretzels and generally enjoying the last of the good weather.

"I called you on Saturday, but both of your lines went straight to voicemail…early night?"

"Jake."

"I see," she says suggestively and winks.

I roll my eyes and huff at her assumption. "He came over, and ten minutes later, I'd thrown him out."

"Yikes, are you two still having problems?"

"I don't know…things are just different now. It's strange that I have this Ph.D. in fixing other people's problems but can't seem to do a damned thing about my own."

"You and Jake will work things out, you guys always do. Besides, he worships the ground you walk on. Give it some time."

_I wish time were all it was._

"So, I saw your patient leaving your office looking very upset…."

"I referred her to another therapist, Tanya to be exact." I slurp enjoyably on my passion fruit drink.

"Why…and why Tanya? God, I hate that bitch."

"Conflict of interest. And you've been holding a grudge against Tanya since high school. It's time to move on, Rose."

Her eyebrows furrow, and she points a finger at me. "Don't you dare try and shrink me, Bella Swan."

We both giggle and leisurely finish our smoothies as we reminisce over our high school years. We reluctantly head back to work.

At that time, my receptionist informs me that Lauren Masen called to cancel her appointment.

.

.

.

"Time of death…two-fifteen p.m." I yank off the latex gloves and remove the surgical gown. This never gets easier.

Despite having witnessed death often, it never gets any easier. I leave the O.R., dreading what I need to do next.

"I'm sorry…his heart just couldn't withstand…" I breathe in deeply. "We did everything we could," I conclude as I look in the horror-struck face of the woman whose husband I tried to save. She covers her mouth with trembling hands. I gently reach out to her, but she steps back, shaking her head.

"I'm…sorry," I repeat and slowly walk away to make sure that a nurse tends to her needs. They hardly ever want comfort from the doctor who held their loved one's life in their hands, especially when said doctor was unable to save that life.

I return to my office after speaking to other family members and consulting with one of my colleagues. I draw the blinds and stretch out on the couch. Ej's face is the last thing I picture just before I feel myself drift off to sleep.

.

.

.

I ring my sister's doorbell impatiently. She answers with an annoyed expression.

"Only you would ring a doorbell that way," she remonstrates, one hand on her hip. She wears an apron and a single oven mitt and holds an extremely long fork in her other hand. I laugh out loud; she looks as if she's wielding a weapon of sorts.

"I'm starving, Al. Where's the barbecue?" I kiss her on the forehead.

"The food's out back. Where's your wife?"

"I'm afraid she won't be making dinner. Don't bother acting all broken up about it either." I stroll through the house and stop in the kitchen to grab a beer.

"Oh, I won't be broken up about it," she snorts. "Mom and Dad will be, though. They're out back with Jasper and Emmett."

_Great._

"What kind of mood is Dad in?"

"He's in a 'tossing around the football with Josh' kind of mood. Don't worry, you're safe."

"Mommy, mommy. I got my footbwall! Josh comes bounding down the stairs. "Uncwle Edward!" he gasps and jumps into my arms the minute he notices me.

"Hey, buddy! How are you?"

"Fwine. Are you going to pway footbwall wif me, daddy, gwandpa, and uncwle Em?"

"I sure am, champ."

"Josh, sweetie, you didn't make a mess of your room trying to find that football, did you?" My sister smiles with her hand on her hip.

"No, Momma, I cwean it all up!" His speech impediment is adorable. I mostly try to correct him but sometimes choose to simply enjoy it, he'll grow out of it soon enough.

"See there. He cleaned it all up, Momma," I tease Alice and carry Josh out to the backyard, tickling him all the way.

"No! That tickwles uncwle Edward!" he giggles infectiously.

"Look who finally showed up?" My brother greets me by raising his beer bottle.

"I was in surgery. I got here as soon as I could."

"Uncwle Edward is going to pway wif us, Daddy!"

"Oh, is he now? Well, we're going to kick, Uncle Edward's butt, aren't we, buddy?"

"Hold on," Emmett stands up in protest. "Josh, don't you want to be on Uncle Em's team? I'm bigger than your daddy and Uncle Edward."

"You bastard, don't try and trick my son!" Jasper laughs.

"Jasper!" Alice gasps.

"Sorry, honey." He yells as he brings a plate of food out to the patio. "Josh, buddy, don't you and Daddy make the best team?"

"Ummm…"

"I cannot believe you two, fighting over a child." I mock astonishment. "Josh, play on my team, and I'll take you to see the new tiger cubs at the zoo."

"I choose, Uncwle Edward!" He raises his arms triumphantly. I laugh and walk away with my new partner-in-crime.

"That was blackmail, man…blackmail!" Jasper and Emmett yell in unison.

They're just jealous that Josh and I have such an unbreakable bond.

I move to the patio where my sister and parents are busy cooking and setting the table. My father's standing over the grill, utensils in hand and handling them like he's performing surgery. I laugh inwardly. Even though he's retired and has not operated for a while, he deals with something as simple as barbecuing a piece of chicken as meticulously as if he's performing an intricate procedure.

"Edward, honey, there you are! Where's Lauren?" My mother looks around for my so-called better half.

"She couldn't make it, Mom."

"Well, your sister said she didn't think you would make it either." My mother and I exchange a hug, before she takes Josh out of my arms and sits him at the table for dinner.

"I really didn't know whether he was coming, Mom. He never shows up when I invite him for dinner, so this is a shock for me too," Alice feels the need to elaborate.

I narrow my eyes at her and mouth, "Bitch."

She reciprocates by flipping me off and sticking out her tongue, childishly when our mother's back is turned. I also catch an elbow to the mid-section as I brush past her to greet my father. This behavior has typified our sibling rivalry since our childhood, but there is no doubt how much we three kids love one another.

"Hey, Dad." I place a hand on my father's shoulder as he removes the food from the grill.

"Hey, Son. I didn't think you were going to be here."

"Yeah, I know." I look over my shoulder and scowl at my sister. "You need some help there?"

"Yeah, would you take this over to the table? Josh wants the first drumstick, hot off the grill."

"And corn, Gwandpa!"

"I swear that kid has bionic ears," my father adds. "He reminds me so much of you when you were little."

I take the plate from my father, half-smiling at his statement.

"By the way, how did surgery go?"

"You still have the inside scoop don't you, Dad."

"Always." He looks up and gives me a wide smile.

Edward Masen Senior; my father, retired neurosurgeon, ex chief of surgery, current board member at St. Luc's, and all-round perfect guy. Everyone loves and respects him; so much, that even though he's retired, he basically still knows everything that happens at the hospital. I've admired him and wanted to be exactly like him since I was Josh's age. As for following in his footsteps and becoming a successful doctor, that part I've been able to emulate, being the all-round perfect guy, I fall very short on, and I know it.

"Surgery wasn't successful today." The memory of standing over my patient and calling the time of death instantly wilts my mood.

He pats me on the back.

"Death is a part of life, Son, and death comes with the territory of being a doctor, but I feel we've had this conversation before." He smiles warmly.

"I didn't say that anyone died."

"You didn't have to. A doctor is all too familiar with the telltale signs of a bad day on the job; and as a father, I know my son," he pauses and exhales heavily. "You can't save everyone, Edward." He looks at me intently and the indirect reference is not lost on me.

"I know, Dad." I spear a piece of chicken and place it on a plate for Josh.

After a few more moments of general conversation, I leave to let my brother and Jasper know that dinner's ready. We share stories about the past and present as we eat; some are funny and others downright embarrassing. Most of those come from Emmett, he has no filter whatsoever, and my mother and father find him endlessly amusing.

Josh finishes his food in record time and promptly announces that he's ready for touch football.

My father plays quarterback. Emmett, like the overgrown adolescent that he is, throws a tantrum when Dad throws the ball to Josh too many times, in his estimation. It's hilarious to watch.

"It's just a game, Unwcle Em. You can't win all the twime." Josh admonishes him.

"Your grandpa is cheating, Josh," Emmett complains.

"Is not!"

It's hard to define who the adult is as their argument continues, and we all make fun of Emmett's childishness. I really enjoy times like this with my family. It's an escape from my hectic life at the hospital and more especially, the drama in my personal life. I know that I'll have to deal with my personal life soon. Lauren surprised me by agreeing to a divorce, but I know it won't come easily, she's being way too calm about it.

"Go long, Josh!" my father pulls me from my thoughts, and I take off to block Jasper.

"Catch it, Josh! You've got it, buddy!" I cup my hands together and call to him. Emmett trots teasingly alongside him as he pursues the ball.

Josh reaches up and miraculously snatches the ball out of the air in front of him.

"Whoo! Yeah, baby!" I cheer and gloat at Emmett and Jasper, as I run and scoop Josh up into my arms.

"I caught it, Uncwle Edward, I caught it!"

"You sure did, buddy. You're the next Eli Manning," I laugh and head to the lounge chairs from where my mother and sister are applauding Josh.

"Pweyton Manning, Unwle Edward!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Peyton Manning, it is."

The others join us and pull up chairs to relax. After a while Josh falls asleep, and Alice takes him inside. My parents are ready to head home and tell us that dinner next weekend's family dinner will be at their home.

Emmett walks off to take a call about his pub, giving me the opportunity to speak with Jasper without involving others in my business.

"How come Lauren didn't come with you?"

"Well, apart from the fact that we're barely speaking, she's finally asked for a divorce."

"She did?" His eyebrows shoot up. "Wow, just like that?"

"Just like that," I sigh and fold my arms behind my head.

"So…you won't be needing my uh…expertise anymore." He smiles proudly and mimics my position.

"Expertise?" I scoff. "You couldn't locate the one thing I asked of you."

"Oh, yeah, right…the porn stash."

"Shut up and before you put your private-eye glasses away, I have one last task for you."

"And what's that?" He watches as I dig in my pocket.

"Tell me what the fuck kind of key this is?"

He takes the tiny key from my fingers and looks at it for a few seconds.

"It looks like a key to a safe, or a safety deposit box or something. It's too small to fit anything obvious, like a door or…hell what else is there? You know, it's not a car key, man," he scoffs.

"I fucking know that, Jasper." I snatch the key back.

"Whose key is it? I assume it's not yours."

"It must be Lauren's. I found it in our bed after we had sex the other night."

"Wait, you mean the two of you are still sleeping together despite knowing that the marriage is over?"

_Damn it! Did I say that out loud?_

"It was a one-time thing," I answer nonchalantly. "Fuck, that little…"

I jerk up as I realize what I've had in my possession all this time. I check my watch and hop up.

"Tell Emmett I'll call him later," I say over my shoulder as I hurry into the house. I say goodbye to my parents, kiss my sister on the cheek, and tell her to let Josh know that I'll take him to the zoo next week.

I arrive home, and Lauren's car isn't parked in the drive.

"Perfect."

I make straight for the guestroom as I recall her removing the safety box from our room. Finding exactly where it's hidden is a different matter entirely.

I tear through the closet and drawers, not caring what kind of disarray I leave behind. Nothing.

I get down on my hands and knees and scan the area beneath the bed. Nothing.

I stand up, breathing heavily and run a hand through my hair in desperation, not knowing where to look next.

"Where the fuck did you put it?" I scan the room and smirk as I focus on the chest at the end of the bed. I try opening it, but it's locked. I jiggle and shake it roughly, before slamming it against the floorboards, cursing loudly.

I'm frustrated, knowing that the box must be in the chest; there's no other reason for it to be locked.

"I could haul it out or have a locksmith come in," I mutter as I sit on the floor; but there isn't time. I need to get into that chest before Lauren returns.

I examine the chest more closely and flip it upside down and grin exultantly when I find a key taped to the underside

I rip it off eagerly and unlock the chest. The safe box is buried underneath a pile of blankets. I pull out the box and hold it up as gingerly as I would a newborn baby.

"What the hell are you doing? What the hell is this mess, Edward?" Lauren screeches from behind me.

I turn around, and her eyes focus on what I'm holding. She gapes in horror, and I smile back at her devilishly.

"What's that?" She feigns ignorance and crosses her arms nervously.

"You know goddamned well what _this_ is." I shake the box for emphasis. "I believe _this_ heralds the end of your blackmail."

I prepare to leave, and she immediately steps into my path.

"You won't get it open. It's locked, and this isn't some dime store safe-box, Edward. There isn't a locksmith who can unlock it, or a career criminal who can pry it open, so don't bother taking it to Jasper."

I frown at her lack of regard for Jasper. He isn't a career criminal; he just happens to know a few things, useful things.

"The key has a special chip placed inside, and it's registered in my name. There was only one key made, and I have it in my possession," she says smugly.

"Oh, you mean _this _key?" I dig in my pocket and hold it up for her to see.

Her eyes widen then flash with anger. She lunges for the key, but I grab her wrist tightly and back her up against the door.

"You're hurting my arm, you bastard," she says through gritted teeth.

I smash my lips against hers and shove my tongue into her mouth. She tears her lips from mine and slaps me squarely across the mouth.

I laugh dismissively. "_Now_, we're done."


	7. Chapter 7

Dissecting Edward Chapter 6

I'm uncharacteristically late for work; I overslept, I don't think that I've done so since my and Roses' somewhat wild college years.

"Good morning, Victoria. Anyone call or cancel?"

"Good morning, Doctor Swan. No one cancelled, but your mother called and said she couldn't reach you on your cell this morning."

"I'll call her in a few. She's just wants to nag me about coming home for the holidays."

"Oh, and Doctor Tanya Denali called. She wants you to return her call about an important matter."

"Okay, I'll do that," I call over my shoulder as I make my way to my office.

"Oh, and Doctor?"

"Yes, Victoria?"

"These came for you earlier this morning." She slides her chair aside and points to a huge bouquet of white roses. There must be at least three-dozen. She picks up the bouquet and hands them to me.

"They're gorgeous, Doctor Swan."

"Thank you, Victoria." I wrap my arms around the enormous vase as she helps me with my office door.

"Should I prepare a thank you note?"

"No. I'll deliver it personally. Thank you, Victoria."

I set the flowers on my desk and hastily pull out the card that's nestled inside, not that I need to read it to know who they're from. _"I'm sorry. Jake."_ I read aloud.

I scoff and lean in to smell the bouquet. They _are _beautiful, but Jake doesn't have a clue.

_White roses are the symbol of purity._ "There's nothing pure about us, Jake."

I'm just about to call my mother, when my office phone rings.

"Yes, Victoria."

"Mr. Black is on line one, Doctor."

"Put him through."

I wait for him to say something cheesy or cliché.

"Good morning, beautiful."

"Morning, Jacob."

"Did you get the flowers?"

"Yes, I did. They're beautiful; although I think the message you're trying to send with them may be a bit convoluted. "

"Convoluted?" He laughs. "Using legal terms now, are we, Doctor? I'm rubbing off on you."

"Shut up." I can't hide the humor in my voice.

"Seriously, sweetheart, the message is clear, plain and simple. I'm sorry, Bella, and I miss you."

I play with the chain around my neck and bite the corner of my lip. I miss him too, and let's face it, Jake and I have never gone this long without having sex, and I'm in need. I know that he is too.

"That message is clear. I'm speaking of the symbolism of white roses …white… it means purity, innocence."

"You forget something."

"What do I forget?"

"White roses are also the symbol for true love."

"I believe those are red roses, Jake."

"Not in early tradition, but they _are_ the official bridal flower, I will give you that. You get that meaning?"

"You're funny. Is this turning into a marriage discussion?"

"It can."

"Well, I think we have a lot of things to work out before we can discuss that topic."

"I agree. You free for lunch?"

"No, I have patients overlapping well into the late afternoon, dinner would be better."

"Is French okay?"

"French is perfect."

"All right, I'll pick you up at eight."

"Good, I'll see you then, bye."

"Bye."

I love when Jake is like this, playful and sweet, not being a cocky asshole. I know I can be difficult and uptight sometimes as well. Besides, punishing him is punishing myself, it's time to forgive and forget.

After I end the call, I decide to just rip off the bandage and call my mother.

"Hi, Mom."

"Bella, sweetie, why don't you ever answer your phone?"

Each and every telephone conversation with her starts this way.

"I was driving to work, Mom. There are a lot of underpasses on the way."

As always, my defense tends to go right over her head.

"When are you coming home for a visit? Your father and I miss you terribly. Labor Day is about a month and half away."

"I'll be in Florida for a medical convention over that period. I can visit you and Dad then. Where is he, by the way?"

"He's out front mowing the lawn on that ridiculous contraption you bought him for Father's Day. Honestly, Bella, I don't know why you bought him that thing."

"He wanted it. He's retired. He loves his _toys, _Mom," I chuckle at the thought of my dad riding around on that thing and purposely ignoring my mother.

"He wanted it and you bought it, and now we have no grass left. I swear, Bella, if he goes anywhere near my rose bush, I'm going to pay someone to come and steal it."

"I love you, Mom," I laugh.

"Aw, I love you too, Sweet-Pea."

"Tell Dad I love him and to take it easy on the lawn."

"From your lips to God's ears…that man, I swear."

"Bye, Mom." I roll my eyes, still laughing as I end the call. I'm looking forward to visiting with my parents for a while. It would be like a breath of fresh air to step away from the office for a couple of weeks.

.

.

.

It's about ten minutes to eight and Jake still hasn't arrived, so I decide to wait in the downstairs lobby.

"Victoria, I'm going to dinner. Thanks for staying late this evening."  
"Any time, Doctor Swan. I'll make sure to lock up after I'm done with setting up these files."

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Have a good evening."

"I will, you too, Doctor," she says with a hint of mischief in her voice.

_I wonder what that's all about._

Knowing what I do about Victoria, she's probably looking to hook-up with some guy. Rumor has it that she's a closet nympho, at least that's what I've been told by a few of her ex co-workers whom I know well. It makes no difference to me; she's always on time, professional and never gives me a problem, so should I care what or who she does in her free time? Not one iota.

I step out of the building and rush to the car as Jake pulls up. His deep, espresso- colored eyes meet mine, and he smiles brightly.

"Hey there, gorgeous."

"You drive a convertible Lamborghini to work, Jake?" I ask somewhat disparagingly.

"And to take you to dinner." His grin becomes impossibly wider.

"You didn't know we would be having dinner together tonight," I counter as I open passenger door.

"Who didn't know?"

I roll my eyes playfully at his arrogance and settle into my seatbelt.

"Besides, it's a nice night to have the top down. I know you like fast cars, Bella." He licks his bottom lip and smirks before he shifts the gear, and screeches away from the curb.

We order cassoulet and salad nicoise. Jake is acting his normal, playful self; charming and joking with the waitresses. No matter how annoying that may be, I can't resist getting swept up in his carefree attitude.

"So…you have vacation coming up soon…made any special plans?"

"I'm thinking of going to visit my parents. My mom's been bugging me. I'll need to be in Miami to attend a conference around that time, so it works out perfectly."

"Mmm…Florida sounds cool, although I was thinking of going someplace tropical like Maui."

"_You_ were thinking? It's my vacation, Jake, not yours."

"I know that. That's not what I meant." He looks up at me, somewhat annoyed.

"I knew that you are going on vacation next month, so I had my secretary clear my schedule as well. That way we can do something together, but Florida sounds good to me."

_What a nerve, just inviting himself along!_

I mentally count to ten before I snap at him. I find it ironic that I need to use a coping mechanism I suggest to my patients, when dealing with my own personal life. Go figure!

"So, what do you say?"

"To what?" I take a sip of Merlot.

"Would you mind if we spent your vacation together? I would love to see Charlie and Renee again, and you know they're crazy about me."

I can't deny that. My parents love Jake, and he's asking to spend time with me after all, in his own unique way, instead of just forcing the issue. I'll admit that it would be good for us to spend some quality time together.

"I don't mind if you come with me." I finally concede, and I'm rewarded with one of his signature, brilliant smiles.

"Dinner is good, huh?"

"You knew I would say yes, didn't you, Jacob?"

He just continues to smile while sipping on his glass of wine.

Surprisingly, the rest of our evening goes smoothly. We don't argue once. In fact, we're excited about our trip to Florida and happy about working on repairing our relationship.

Having convinced me to finish up the work I have to do at his place so we can spend the night together, he drops me off back at my office to pick up the files I've been working on.

"I'll just be a few moments," I say, as I unhook the seatbelt. He grabs my arm before I can exit and pulls me into a passionate kiss.

"Don't take too long, I have plans for tonight," he murmurs against my half-parted lips.

"I won't." I reluctantly pull away. I must say that I love when he is like this, so passionate and sexy. I'm really looking forward to our night.

.

.

.

It's been days since our altercation, and I haven't spoken to or seen Lauren. I'm living back at the house. I had every intention of finding another place to live and move out, leaving the house for her to live in, but I came home a couple of nights ago to pack up more of my things, only to find her closets cleaned out and her things gone. Her message was clear, as clear as the words _'Fuck you, cheater!'_ written in bright-red spray paint and large capital letters on our bedroom wall. I guess I deserve that.

If anything good comes out of this situation, it will have to be the end of marriage therapy. I'm finally free of that shit. So, what would the reason be for me taking an elevator up to Doctor Isabella Swan's office on a Monday evening?

She's busy at the filing cabinet and oblivious to my presence. I smirk at that knowledge. She's contorted in the most desirable position.

"Damn, you're so sexy." I grab her hips and pull her back against me as she gasps in surprise.

"Edward! You scared the shit out of me! I thought you were going to call first?" She spins around quickly.

"Now, where would the fun be in that? I like it when you don't see me coming." I wink at her lasciviously.

"I'm serious, Edward. What if my boss was still here?" she tries to look and sound angry but fails miserably.

"So, what's your point?" I back her up against the copy machine.

"Oh, I forget. You would like that wouldn't you, for Doctor Swan to see us like this? I know you want her."

I smile wolfishly at her; I'm not about to deny it.

"What I _want_ is for you to hop your ass up on this copy machine, wrap those gorgeous mile-long legs around me, so I can fuck your brains out..."

"Maybe we could talk Doctor Swan into having a threesome," she giggles.

_Imagine that._

"Now," I ignore her comment and bending slightly, I grab the hem of her skirt and slide it up.

"Wait! Not here, the supply closet." She swats my hands away and pulls me into the closet. We're awkwardly crammed inside a tiny space, but I have her back braced against one wall and me in-between and those long legs that are propped up against the opposite wall. I thrust into her relentlessly.

We both pant and grunt as we try to hold our balance. I slam both my palms against the wall above her head, while she grips my ass roughly as rock back and forth against each other.

"Shit! It's so good, baby. Keep going…don't stop," she hisses through her teeth.

I can't fuck her properly in this goddamned tiny closet. It's hot and parts of my body are starting to cramp.

"You're going to owe me some major perks after this bright idea of yours, baby." My voice is thick with lust and my breathing is labored.

Instead of agreeing, she's challenging me to fuck her harder, as if I'm not fucking her hard enough. I growl and slam into her so hard that I know her back is taking a beating. I can feel the insubstantial wall vibrate with the force.

"Fuck yes! Just like that…oh fuck…I'm coming!"

I don't notice the door open until I feel the fan of cool air across my bare skin and hear a gasp that isn't Victoria's.

"Oh my God!"

"Oh shit!" Victoria and I curse and try to quickly cover ourselves. Doctor Swan just stands there, wide-eyed, her hand over her mouth.

The office is empty, and the door is unlocked. Victoria must have forgotten to lock up properly.

I gather the files from my desk and shut my office door. As I pass through the reception area, I hear a loud thump from beyond the area, then another and another in rhythmic succession.

As I approach, the obvious sounds of carnal pleasure become progressively louder and more frenzied.

"Shit! It's so good, baby. Keep going …don't stop," Victoria's voice calls out.

It's obvious what's going on, and I'm instantly angry.

"Ahh…just…fuck me…harder!"

My mouth gapes in shock at what I'm hearing. I know that things like this happen in the workplace, but this is ridiculous. I mean, couldn't they have done it in the restroom?"

"Fuck yes! Just like that…oh fuck…I'm coming!"

The words I want to say to the pair of them are already forming in my brain as I snatch the door open.

"Oh my God!"

I can't believe what I'm seeing, and I freeze in shock.

"Oh shit!" They jump apart, scrambling to cover themselves.

"D – Doctor Swan... I am so sor…"

I shake my head angrily, cutting her off. "I …You…could you please put _that _away!" I stammer, momentarily dazed by the vision of an erect penis. My eyes lock with his as he tucks himself back into his pants, and he smirks innocently.

"You…leave!" I order him. And _you, _I want to see in my office. _Now_!" I glare at Victoria and turn on my heel.

I pace back and forth, my mind in turmoil; so many thoughts are running through my head.

_I'm going to have to hire a new receptionist. How the hell am I going to look Lauren Masen in the face, knowing that her husband cheated on her on my premises! Shit, Jake…Jake is waiting for me!_

I pull out my cell and hurriedly call him, asking him to leave without me, and that I'd see him later. He isn't happy. Both Doctor Masen and Victoria are standing in the doorway.

"I thought I told you to leave."

"This isn't Victoria's fault…well…not entirely, but look, don't fire her over this," he says solemnly.

"You're joking aren't you…I mean you either really are, or you are truly off your rocker. I just caught you, Doctor Edward Masen, my patient, screwing my receptionist in my supply closet! And you dare to tell me not to fire her?"

"That's exactly what I'm asking of you." He steps into the office. Victoria continues to stand motionlessly at the door, looking scared to death.

"Oh, now you're _asking_ me not to fire her?"

"Look, it's not fair that she'll be the one to lose from this."

"She should've thought about that before she made the conscious decision to have sex with you in my office."

"This is her job we're talking about," he pleads Victoria's case.

"If you're so worried about her having employment, you can give her a job as your personal receptionist. That way, she'll be at your disposal to bang, whenever, Doctor."

I'm fuming, and we're standing almost nose and nose, when Victoria steps in.

"Doctor Swan, please… I swear this will NOT happen again if you give me another chan…"

"Victoria, just go. I'll deal with you tomorrow. I'll expect you here bright and early." I wave her off, and she quickly leaves without giving him another look. I run both hands through my hair, trying to calm myself.

"Thank you."

I spin around and glare at him.

"I didn't do it for you and I'm not one hundred percent certain that I'm not going to fire her tomorrow. I just had to get one of you out of my face before I strangled someone."

"And the one you chose to 'get out of your face' was her, instead of me? Interesting."

_What? _

"You conceited son of a bitch! I chose to get rid of her so she would not be present when I confronted you about cheating on your wife!"

"Victoria knows I'm married." He slips his hands in his trouser pockets and shrugs.

"Of course. she'd know, both you and your wife are patients of mine…but I was referring to the fact that I also know that you are cheating on your wife with Angela Newton, Doctor Mike Newton's wife? Does Lauren know about her…what about Victoria?"

His expression changes from shock at my revelation, to anger.

"How do you know about that?"

"Better yet, does Mike know?"

"Answer me, how did you find out about that?"

"Doctor/patient confidentiality, Doctor Masen! I can't tell you a damned thing, but I will tell you this. If I _ever _catch you fucking Victoria in this vicinity again, it's both of your asses! That goes for the reception area, bathroom, parking lot, out the back where the dumpsters are; wherever the sign says Doctor Isabella M. Swan, Psy.D. Got that?"

"Parking lot…dumpsters?" He smiles.

"I'm not joking, Edward."

His smile grows wider, his eyes brighten, and the look of arrogance heightens. There's no winning with this guy.

"What the hell are you smiling at?"

"Nothing," he says and turns to walk toward the door. He pauses before leaving and looks at me. "It's only a matter of time, _Bella…_only a matter of time."

I watch as he finally walks out of my office, closing the door softly behind him. His parting statement confounds me, and I don't know why he called me by my first name. Suddenly, it dawns on me.

_I called him Edward._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

_Damn that was so fucking stupid!_

I toss my car keys on the coffee table as I mentally berate myself. I bury my face in my hands as I flop down on the sofa.

I fucked up royally tonight. Although I had every intention of having sex with Victoria tonight, I hadn't planned on it happening at her workplace. I was simply supposed to pick her up and head to our normal place, but the minute I entered her premises and began thinking about no longer having to go to marriage counseling, something stirred within me.

The very thought of not seeing _her_ again drives me crazy, and I don't understand what I'm feeling.

Yes, I'm extremely attracted to _her_, and she knows exactly the right buttons to push with me, more so than any woman I've ever met.

_Isabella…Bella._

She's beautiful, smart as hell, and when she's mad, she's incandescent and sexy. She riles me beyond control.

Subconsciously, I knew exactly what I was doing by having sex with Victoria in her office. Something deep in me wanted her to catch us. I don't know if it was the adrenaline rush I felt seeing her wide, amber eyes on me, or the fact that she was jealous that it happened. She was certainly feeling jealous; I could feel it rolling off her in waves.

I felt like a prick for obvious reasons. Victoria is a good friend, and the odds are that she'll lose her job over a bad decision we both made. I need to find a way to repair that.

"Fuck. You sure have your work cut out for you now, Masen." I huff and reach over to switch off the lamp. I just need to get some rest and figure out a way to help Victoria and see Bella again. I'm sure once Lauren contacts her to tell her about the divorce, she'll be thrilled never to have to see my face again.

I need to make certain that doesn't happen.

.

.

.

I wake the next morning, fully clothed and still on the sofa, where I had apparently fallen asleep. The sound reverberates again, and I realize that I'd been woken by my cellphone.

"Wake up, loser." Alice laughs.

"Good morning to you too."

"Good morning, Josh is packed and ready."

"Did I promise that I'd take him to school today or something?" I throw my arm over my eyes, trying to shield them from the sunlight beaming through the curtains.

"You have the _or something_ part correct. You promised to take him to the zoo today, remember."

"Shit. Isn't there school today?" I whisper, only just recalling my promise.

"School is closed, teachers have an in-service day. I take it from your tone that you will not be picking up my son and taking him to the zoo, as promised?" she chastises me.

"Then you mistook my tone, I'll be there in forty minutes. Tell Josh to pack us the _Spidey_ lunch. That'll give him something to do while he waits for me."

"What in the Rosemary's baby hell is the _Spidey _lunch?"

"That's between me and my nephew. He'll know exactly what I mean. I'll be there soon." I'm exhausted, but the last thing I would do is disappoint Josh.

_I guess I'm going to the zoo._

_._

_._

_._

Josh dashes out of the front door before I can get my car parked.

"I'm weady Uncwle Edward!"

"I see, Spiderman gloves and all." I pick him up and give him a squeeze.

"Spiderman web gwoves. Look," he instructs and pushes a little button on the red and blue glove, and low and behold a white, stringy substance squirts from his wrist. _What the hell will toy developers think of next?_

"Cooooool," I exaggerate.

"You wike them, Uncwle Edward?"

"I sure do. I'm going to have to buy some too, so we can play together."

"Cooool!" He gasps.

I turn to my approaching sister.

"Spiderman web gloves?" I mouth at her.

"Jasper bought them," she mouths back and shrugs. "Here's the _Spidey_ lunch Josh made. Honestly, ham and cheese with mustard, pickles and crumbled up potato chips, Edward?" She wrinkles her nose and holds out the brown paper bag.

"Does Spiderman even eat this cr…"

"Shh! Ixnay." I cover Josh's ears before she can spoil the secret.

"Whatever," she rolls her eyes.

"Don't be jealous of Spiderman, Alice, it really is unattractive." I shake my head in mock distaste.

"Shut up, and do not feed my son tons of junk today. No cotton-candy. You would think he was in the best of hands with you being a doctor and all, but your eating habits are atrocious," she nods at the bag, containing our lunch, as she turns to walk back inside.

Josh's face looks mortified.

"Don't worry, buddy. Your Uncle Edward has it all under control. You trust me?"

He nods confidently, and we head to the car.

After spending a couple of hours at the Lincoln Park Zoo, we end up in a local ice cream parlor just a few miles down the road.

"This is fun, Uncwle Edward!"

"It is and this way you can tell your mommy what, when she asks about the cotton candy?"

"We didn't eat nooo cotton candy. We had sundaes with spwinkles!" he cheers.

I laugh and dig into my sundae. I know ice cream isn't any better than cotton candy, but Josh and I have a ritual when we hang out together; have fun at any cost. My sister is going to have a cow.

"Did you have fun at the zoo today, buddy?"

"Mmmhmm." He mumbles with his mouth full, his face covered in chocolate ice cream.

"I wike the wions."

"Yeah, lions are my favorite too."

"Uncwle Edward, why did the daddy lion keep cwimbing on the mommy lion's back?" His face is contorted by a mixture earnestness and confusion.

_Oh…fuck! Of all of times to take the kid to the zoo, you chose mating season._

I'm not going to lie. I won't do that with him.

"Um…he was…they were mating, buddy."

"What's mating?"

_Worm your way out of this one, genius!_

"Well…mating is when a mommy and daddy try to make a…" I take a drink of my water, my mouth suddenly dry.

"Make a what?"

"A…a baby, Josh." I swallow a mouthful of water and clear my throat.

He nods as if he understands.

"Mommy and daddy are mating. I saw dwem."

I pause with my glass to my lips, and glance at him as he just keeps eating his sundae.

"You saw your mommy and daddy mating, bud?"

"Yeah," he says nonchalantly.

Now I'm curious as to what he really saw. Alice would be mortified at the thought of being caught in the act by her four-year old son.

"Josh…what exactly did you see your mommy and daddy doing?"

"Daddy was cwimbing on top of mommy like that daddy wion was cwimbing on top of the mommy wion."

I try hiding my expression, but I can't contain my smile, oh this is good...

"Mommy and Daddy were in the bedwoom this morning, and I saw dwem."

"You weren't spying on them, were you, you know like Spiderman does when he's trying to catch the bad guys?"

"Noooo…I was hungwy and I wanted mommy to make pancwakes. I went to mommy and daddy's woom, and I saw daddy cwimbing on mommy. He was making wion noises."

I just listen to my nephew spill the beans on Jasper and Alice, chuckling to myself.

_Man, I'm going to get her so good with this one._

"Uncwle Edward," he looks up at me worriedly.

"What is it, buddy?"

"Does it hurt?"

"Does…what hurt, Josh?"

"Mating?"

_Oh Christ! This is getting out of hand._

"Why…why would you ask a question like that?"

"Becwause...mommy kept yelling 'oh oh oh, hurt me baby', weally loud and saying God. Are Mommy and Daddy going to have a baby now?

A few other patrons turn to look at Josh's rather loud outburst. I try to smile and play it off as if we're just having a fun conversation.

He's still waiting for a response, his sundae long forgotten, and his big, blue eyes are wide and curious.

_Shit._

"I–I don't know, bu…"

"Am I going to be a big bwoder. Where do babies come fwom, Uncwle Edward?"

It's like I've lost the ability to speak. My mouth keeps opening and closing repeatedly, but I can't seem to formulate words. I'm completely stumped by a four-year old.

"Um–I…" My voice trails off, when I see a familiar face at the counter. She's just bought an ice- cream cone and licks the side of her finger as it drips down. I stare as everything she does plays out in slow motion.

"Uncwle Edward?"

"Huh?"

"Can I have a dwink of water? I'm thwirsty."

"Oh…sure, buddy. Stay here at the table, I'll be right back."

"Ok."

"You know the rule, right, Josh?"

"Yes, Uncwle Edward

I head toward the counter, keeping Josh in sight.

I ask the cashier at the counter for a kid-sized cup filled with water. While I'm waiting for her to return, I decide to say hello.

"It looks like you're really enjoying that ice-cream," I lean in to whisper in her ear.

She spins around, startled by my presence. Her eyes land on my face, and she sighs heavily.

"I _was_ enjoying it."

"Well, it's enjoyable to watch, that's for sure."

"God, do you ever stop?"

"Stop what?" I smile, loving that I still affect her so easily.

"Nothing…just forget it," she says, annoyed, and prepares to walk away.

"Look, Irina, I just wanted to say hi that's all. I didn't mean anything by what I said."

She stops, and her face softens. She believes me, the truth is, I'm being completely sincere. I haven't seen her since my wedding day, and I still care for her.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, Edward and yourself?"

"I'm wonderful…so, what have you being doing with yourself?"

"Keeping busy… working, you know the usual. What about you?"

"Oh…well you know me," I shrug.

"Yea I do…unfortunately."

I simply smile, and she returns it wryly. She shakes her head and glances at her hand. My eyes follow her line of vision, and I notice her finger, her ring finger to be exact.

"I'm following the wules, Uncwle Edward!" Josh calls from across the parlor.

"Good job, buddy!" I give him a thumbs up to show him that I'm paying attention, before I turn back to Irina.

"It's beautiful." I reach out and stroke the diamond with the back of my knuckle. I feel her hand tremble.

"Th-thank you." Her voice is low and shaky, and she tries to tuck her hand under her arm.

"Who is he?"

"Who's who?" She feigns ignorance.

"Irina," I say in a soft, warning tone. Her eyes remain are downcast.

"His name's Andrew," she finally gives in. I pry her hand free and she curls gently around mine. That act alone proves that she still cares about me too.

"Andrew Crowe?"

She doesn't look up, but the way her body tenses up confirms my assumption.

"Look at me, Irina"

"No."

"Irina…"

"What, Edward…what do you want me to say, huh. Yes, it's Andrew…Andy Crowe from college. We're getting married."

_Well shit._

My heart sinks for a moment, but I quickly recover. I glance over at Josh. Having finished his sundae, he's now eating mine.

"Do you love him?" I turn my attention back to Irina.

"Yes…yes I do." She raises her head and looks me squarely in the eye.

"Is he good to you?"

"You've got to be kidding me." She snatches her hand from mine. "Andy has been nothing but a gentleman to me."

"So was I," I counter.

"He makes me happy."

"So did I."

We're silent for a few seconds before she crushes me with her next words.

"He's never made me cry or broken my heart."

"Irina I–"

"He's never cheated on me. Can you say that, Edward?"

"I loved you. That night would never have happened if…"

"Spare me, okay. I don't want to hear this again. The fact is, it happened and now this is where we are. You're married to Lauren, and I'm marrying Andy. End of story."

She's right, and I don't want to dredge up that night and hurt her all over again. I want her to be happy; she deserves to be happy. It's been years, and she's finally been able to find someone and give him a chance.

"Uncwle Edward, I got to pee!" Josh comes running over to me, holding himself impatiently.

"Ok, buddy. Give me one second."

Irina smiles at him, her face lighting up instantly.

She's still so beautiful, even though her appearance has changed some. Her hair's shorter and she wears less makeup than she did when we were in college. She's four years younger than me, so a part of me will always consider her as the naïve, sweet, innocent Irina I first met.

"Andy's a good guy."

"He is a good guy," she agrees.

I can't stop myself from staring at her; it's like staring at my past and what my present could have been. She does everything in her power to avoid eye contact. I still get to her, that's self-evident.

_Andrew Crowe my ass._

I could have her back by the end of the night. _ That_'s certainly evident. The eye avoidance, the way she nervously keeps touching and twisting that damned engagement ring; all signs of a woman struggling, trying to remind herself of the 'right' thing to do.

I think about how it could be if I pressed the issue of us getting back together. It all looks perfect. We could have the life we always talked about. I could convince her of that. All I'd have do is tell her about Lauren, about the divorce; plant the seed, then watch the emotion in her eyes. She would no longer struggle with doing the 'right' thing. The question is, do I still want that? Do I still love her?

_No._

My heart just isn't there any longer, and I can't blow her life apart for a second time. Andy will make her happy, and that's what I want for her. She'll always be special to me, but my focus is elsewhere, on a strong, confident woman. Naïve and sweet is no longer what I crave.

"So…when's the wedding?"

We're interrupted again.

"Uncwle Edward! I gotta goooo!"

"Alright, buddy, let's go."

"Looks like someone does control the infamous, Edward Masen after all," she laughs.

"Very funny…congratulations, Irina. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. It was good seeing you, Edward," she says sincerely.

"You too, Irina."

She walks out of the parlor, turning back once to look at me. I scoop Josh up and head to the restroom, mentally patting myself on the back for doing the right thing_._

_._

_._

_._

Josh is exhausted and already asleep as I carry him inside and lie him down on the couch.

"You didn't feed him a lot of junk food, did you?" Alice whispers and places a kiss on her son's forehead.

"Nope."

"Did he enjoy the zoo?"

"Yep."

"What are you not telling me?"

"Relax, Sis. Josh and I had a blast, and we did not eat cotton candy."

"Mmhm." She folds her arms. I see you wore him out, as always."

_Not as much as Jasper has worn you out, it seems._

"I ran into Irina at the…." I stop before I incriminate myself by telling her where Josh and I were this evening.

"Saw her where, at the zoo?"

"No, I saw her when Josh and I stopped for gas," I lie. "She's getting married."

I walk into the kitchen and grab us both a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

"I know, to Andy Crowe," she adds, following me.

I turn around and frown at her. "And you didn't bother to tell me?"

"No…what's the big deal? You're married to Lauren, and she's moving on with her life…finally." She twists the cap off a bottle and takes a sip.

"You know how I feel about her, Alice."

"_Feel..._or did you mean felt, past tense?"

I decide not to entertain this accusatory line of questioning, knowing where it's leading. If anyone can call me out on my shit it's her, and I despise it.

"Hey, I'm not on trial, here."

"Mmmhmm." She continues to eye me skeptically.

"Where's Jasper?" I lean up against the kitchen island.

"He got a call from a client. He'll be out for the rest of the night. The only time I really get to spend with him these days are early in the mornings before I go in to work." She gives a frustrated sigh and runs a hand through her hair.

"That reminds me, the two of you ought to put a lock on your bedroom door in the mornings. You have one precocious four-year old boy."

She frowns. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Mating." I grab one of the freshly baked cookies off the counter and take a bite.

"Mating?"

"Mmm, damn, these are good."

"Edward, what did Josh tell you?" She's getting annoyed.

"Oh, a little of this…a little of that, but mostly a lot of 'oh, oh, oh, hurt me, hurt me baby, oh God!' I reenact my nephew's rendition, and Alice's eyes widen to the size of saucers.

"Oh my God! He heard us?"

"More like heard and saw with his own two little eyes, and now he's expecting to be a big brother."

"Oh, God." She buries her reddened face in her hands.

"Alice don't worry. I took care of everything. Your big brother handled the whole situation." I walk around the counter to comfort her.

Her head immediately snaps up, and she shoots daggers at me.

"What. In. The. Name. Of. Bad Parenting Advice hell did you tell my son?"

"I simply told Josh that it may take Mommy and Daddy a little bit of time to get the 'mating' going the right way, depending on daddy's skills, but that he should be a big brother in no time. See you Sunday at Mom and Dad's," I laugh as I prepare to leave.

"Wha…you told him what?"

"Shhhhh, Josh is sleeping," I remind her as I head out of the door.

"Get back here, Edward Masen! I'm going to kill you for this."

"I know, but could you do it after you get started on the mating? I really would love to be an uncle again. And could we make it a baby girl this time? Tell Jasper to change his angle up a bit; that should help. You are aware that the male's sperm determines the sex of the baby, aren't you?" I peek back at her.

"Ugh, get out of my house, you jerk!"

"Bye, Al!"

.

.

.

"It's all right, babe. We'll be fine once we get to Florida. Some vacation time will do us both good."

This is the third time that Jake has reassured me this morning. I was so annoyed and worked up after walking in on Victoria and Doctor Masen last night, that I stormed into Jake's condo ranting. Of course, I could not tell him the details except to say that I had a really difficult patient case, and he has been surprisingly supportive, given his recent views about my continued career.

He had this romantic evening planned, and I ruined it. I cursed Edward Masen to hell and back, all night, and I feel no differently in the light of day.

Sex with Jake obviously didn't happen last night. After he saw the state I was in, he settled for us having a relaxing soak in his tub. And this morning's been pretty much a repeat of what happened then. We started out hot and heavy; kissing and a lot naked foreplay, but ended up with him massaging my shoulders, telling me how tense I am.

I've known of men having performance anxiety when they're too preoccupied, but this is all unfamiliar to me. My thoughts are so consumed with anger at Edward Masen that I can't have sex with my boyfriend.

I don't understand it. It's not like I want him or anything. In fact, he disgusts me in ways I can't adequately verbalize. His arrogant and cocky attitude is unbearable. And don't get me started on his cheating. The way he regards women is the most disrespectful thing I'd ever witnessed, and yet they still flock to him.

I'm not surprised that they find him attractive. He's a magnificent male specimen, tall, well-toned and lithe. He exhibits the grace of a panther. In fact, likening him to that animal seems apt; his auburn, nearly red, hair always in a riotous mess, coupled with his pale skin and those striking turbulent, green eyes. Eyes that change as often as the ocean or the sky as storms of emotion roll across them; lightening with humor, darkening perceptibly with lust and raging like a storm when he's angered. So, yes, he's hard to resist physically. But his behavior diminishes all of those physical gifts in my eyes.

"Does that feel good?" Jake's voice brings me back from my wondering.

"Mmmm…so good."

"See I told you I know what you need."

His fingers are working magic. I'm more calm and relaxed than I was last night.

"Who'd think you could remove tension, starting with the arch of the foot." I groan in satisfaction as his thumbs move firmly upwards.

"I can remove tension, starting with any part of the body. I'm that good."

"Is that so, Counselor?"

"Mmhm."

I realize I've been so caught up in Jake's massage and my mental wandering that I forgot what time it is. I need to get to the office to deal with Victoria.

"You really are, you know that?" I say, gently retracting my foot and crawling toward him. "You're the best." I kiss him deeply and passionately before I climb out of bed and head to the shower to get ready for work.

I arrive at my office to find Victoria sitting at her desk, wringing her hands nervously. I slam a large-sized cardboard box on her desk.

"What's this?" She frowns.

"It's a box. Clean out your desk, immediately." I turn on my heel and walk into my office.

"You're firing me?" She storms in after me.

"I don't see any reason why I shouldn't."

"But…but…I thought yesterday when you told me to go home and said that you would deal with me tomorrow…"

"This is me dealing with you _tomorrow,_ Victoria. In case you don't realize, it _is _tomorrow!"

"This is bullshit. You could've just told me yesterday that you were firing me!"

"Firstly, I want to tell you that what you did yesterday was a serious mistake you made regarding your career and my practice. Secondly, there is no way on earth I can keep you on as my receptionist. If word got out about you having sex with the patients I'm supposed to be helping, I'd lose my license. I will not put myself in that position."

"Doctor Swan, I…"

"And thirdly," I cut her off, "I didn't fire you yesterday because I felt sorry for you. I don't ever want to see a person lose their job, especially someone who is as exceptionally bright as you are. So, that brings me to my fourth and final point, take this."

"What is it?"

"It's the number of a friend of mine, Doctor Rosalie Hale, she'll be expecting your call."

She takes the card, looking at it with a confused expression.

"Why?"

"Like I said, you're very bright and a good worker and let's just say that I think Edward Masen had more influence over this situation than I believe you did."

"It wasn't his fault, Doctor."

"Be careful, Victoria. I'm throwing you a lifeline here. I suggest you take it."

Her bottom lip begins to quiver as she contemplates the card and finally turns to leave.

"One last thing, Victoria… don't even think about pulling something like this with Dr. Hale. She's in no way as understanding as I am. Good luck to you."

Looking chastised, she nods and gently closes the door behind her.

"I pick up the phone and dial Rose.

"Dr. Hale." She answers on the first ring.

"You owe me a favor."

"Christ, you're never going to let that night in college die, are you?" She scoffs.

"You owe me." I repeat.

"Fine, what do you want?"

"The answer to that question should be calling you in about an hour. I'll call you later."

I look up to see someone standing in my office doorway.

"Is it alright if I come in?"

"Please…be my guest." I gesture toward the couch.

_Great. I guess this week isn't about to get any easier._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8

"I… I asked your receptionist to let you know that I was here. She just waved me in." She chuckles nervously.

_Wow, so much for throwing a girl a lifeline._

"I'm sorry about that. Come in," I stand to greet her. ""Did we have an appointment this morning?"

"No…no, I just wanted to stop in to tell you personally."

"Tell me what?"

I notice the uneasiness in her expression and wonder if she suspects anything about Victoria, or maybe even Angela. In any case, as a professional, I'm prepared to deal with whatever she's about to tell me.

"I won't be coming to therapy any longer."

_Okay, I wasn't expecting that._

"Come. Tell me what's happened."

"No, I don't want to talk about feelings or anything. Nothing's happened. I just won't be coming in to see you again, Doctor Swan. I want to thank you for all you tried do for me and my marriage."

"Lauren, I don't know what to say. I don't feel we've had enough time to make any progress."

"Well, sometimes we have to see what's in front of us, Doctor."

"Lauren…"

"See, I learned that from you…progress, Doctor Swan," she laughs nervously and sniffs. Tears start to fall, and I immediately go to comfort her.

"It's going to be okay, Lauren"

"I know. I'm finally seeing that now. Goodbye, Doctor Swan." She gives me a brief hug.

"What about your husband?" I blurt out, not only wondering what was going to happen with their marriage, but wondering if last night was the last time he would be gracing my presence.

"Are you kidding me? He'll be thrilled to know he won't have to come here again," she scoffs and leaves.

_Damn!_

Prepared or not, Lauren Masen has shocked the hell out of me. The Masen's blew into my life like a hurricane, and just like that they're gone. The past twenty-four hours have been wild to say the least. I need a drink.

I find the bottle of champagne that Jake gave me to commemorate the opening of my office. I've had it for a while now. Now is as good a time as any to crack it open.

I grab a plastic cup from the water cooler_._

"_Auguri_, Masen's." I toss back the contents and pour another. I sit in my chair; legs crossed and propped up on my desk, thinking about the fuckery I've had to endure with them as patients; cheating with the maid of honor at the wedding, pornographic videotaping, making a play for my best friend, screwing on my premises. I'd have to say they were my most interesting patients to date. Ex-patients.

I've referred the Newtons to a new therapist. The Masen's are gone, and I'm out of a receptionist.

It's time to book my vacation.

Two weeks later, and I'm pretty much packed and ready for my trip. Jake has been working long hours so he can wrap up all his cases before we leave.

I call my parents to let them know that Jake and I will be arriving in forty-eight hours. They're already planning some big barbecue as a homecoming dinner.

Rosalie will be traveling with us, as she'll also be attending the medical convention. She's going home to see her family as well. We're all looking forward to being away from Chicago for a while.

I'm packing the last of my toiletries, when I notice that I'm missing a very important item.

I hurry to my car and stop in at our local Target.

"Hi, I'm here to pick up a prescription."

"Sure, what name is the script under?"

"Isabella Marie Swan."

"Oh, yes I recall seeing your prescription earlier and thinking 'what a beautiful and unique name,' she says.

"Oh…thank you. It's my grandmother's name, I really didn't appreciate it until I was older and she was gone, unfortunately."

"Well it's a beautiful name, and you wear it well, Isabella. I'll be right back with your prescription."

With my medication in hand, I search the aisles for feminine products.

"Better safe than sorry," I mumble under my breath.

I head to the register to pay for my items and choose that moment to pull out the contents of my prescription to check that everything is in order.

I inadvertently bump right into someone and clumsily drop my belongings out of my hand, spilling them onto the floor.

"Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry, Miss. Let me help you with that." A deep voice apologizes as he kneels with me.

"It's all right. It wasn't your fault; I wasn't paying …" I realize who I'm apologizing to. He smiles back at me, enjoying my discomfort.

"You were saying?"

I grab for my scattered belongings, and he keeps helping.

"I can get those." I know that I sound rude as I try to pry the last item from his hand.

"Birth control pills, huh?" he says smiling smugly, while holding the item out of my reach.

"Don't be a dick, Doctor Masen."

"We're back to that now?" He frowns and hands the pills back to me. "What happened to calling me Edward?"

"Momentary lapse," I retort sharply and stand up to move away from him.

"You don't say," he laughs lightly and stands behind me.

"What are you doing?" He's standing a little too close for my liking.

"Don't freak out. I'm doing the same thing you are…well not technically since I'm not here to purchase birth control pills," he snickers.

"You _are _going to be a dick, you can't help it," I sigh and move up the line.

"Uncwle Edward, can I get these?"

I turn to see an adorable, dark-haired little boy with the most enormous blue eyes running up to him, holding a bag of Skittles aloft.

"I don't know, bud. Your mommy would have Uncle Edward castrated, and we can't have that can we?" He turns and winks at me.

_One can only hope._

He covers his heart with his hand, giving me a mock, wounded look.

"Did I say that out loud?" I ask, knowing full well I had.

_Oh well._

"What's castwate, Uncwle Edward?"

I erupt into laughter, and I'm curious to hear his response to this child.

"Umm, hey Josh, how about we get the candy if you promise Uncle Edward that you'll eat broccoli for dinner?"

I watch as he contemplates, rolling his eyes to the ceiling and tapping his chin. It's all too adorable for words.

"Two bwoccli's?"

"How about four?"

"Alwight, four bwoccli's." The kid finally gives in and runs over to the gumball machine.

"Josh, remember the rule, buddy."

"Okay!"

"Wow, he's immensely cute," I can't resist commenting.

"Thanks."

"So, he's your nephew?"

"Yes. he is… my sister's son."

I place my items on the conveyer belt and wait for the cashier to ring up a total.

"You're good with him."

"I think it's just the opposite." He corrects and waits for me to finish paying for my things, before he loads his onto the counter.

_What the hell is this? _

Edward Masen and I are having a normal conversation without me feeling like I want to throttle him. Strange.

"Well it's good to know that someone can melt that heart of yours," I add before gathering my bags.

I stop to get a pretzel on the way to my car. I hold it between my teeth as I open the door and toss my bags onto the back seat. I sit with the window open, enjoying the rare good weather while I finish my pretzel. Edward comes up to the side.

"What did you mean by what you said back there?"

"What did I say?"

"The thing about it being good to know someone could melt my heart."

"I said you're good with your nephew, and you said it was just the opposite. So, I figured that if it's the opposite, then that means he's good for you."

"Yeah…and?"

"Well, given your track record it would seem that not many have been able to reach the good in you, and he obviously has." I look to the little boy who's now strapped in a car seat and devouring his bag of Skittles.

Edward's eyes follow my gaze.

"You think you know me so well, don't you?"

"No, not really, but anyone with two eyes can see that little boy owns you; lock, stock and barrel. Don't bother denying it."

He doesn't respond, and I crank the key in the ignition, expecting my car to roar to life. It doesn't, it's making an awful, stalling sound.

"Shit!"

"It sounds like your battery's gone."

I roll my eyes at his observation and continue to turn the key back and forth in the ignition.

"The engine will be next if you keep doing that."

"Damn it!"

"Do you have triple A?"

"I do have it, but it's a holiday weekend, it's going to take forever for them to get here."

"This is true," he looks around; his eyes squinted against the brightness of the sun.

This is a fantastic situation. Jake is in court, and Rosalie is booked up with appointments. I'm basically stranded.

"Listen, I can give you a ride, that is if you don't mind stopping briefly and having dinner with me and my nephew. I have to get some real food into that kid before my sister..."

"Castrates you?" I finish his sentence, and he chuckles.

"What do you say?" He arches an eyebrow.

_Have dinner with Edward Masen? There's no way in hell!_

"I'm going to have to pass on that."

"Alright then." He nods and actually looks a little crestfallen as he walks away.

I try to start my car again. This time it just clicks dully.

_Goddamnit!_

I lean my forehead on the steering wheel and count to ten. I gather my things from the back seat.

"Doctor Masen!" I run over just as he's about to pull off.

He stops and eases the window down. His eyes are hidden behind a pair of aviator sunglasses.

"I've decided to take you up on your offer, if it's still available."

"It is, but under one condition." He shifts the gear into neutral and leans back in his seat.

"What's that?" I run my hand through my hair in frustration. He's such an ass.

"My name is Edward…use it."

.

.

.

"I want pizza, Uncwle Edward." The little boy races to the booth as we walk into the restaurant.

"You promised to eat broccoli, and you're going to keep your promise, Josh."

"You're just going to feed him broccoli?"

"He can have pizza with the broccoli, definitely more broccoli than pizza." He clarifies with his nephew, as he graciously lets me slide into the booth ahead of him.

I can't believe that I'm doing this. Every sane thought is screaming at me that this is wrong. Red flags and warning signs are flashing. I keep reminding myself that it's just a quick dinner for the child's sake, how can it go wrong?

"So, Josh, how old are you?" I direct my attention to the child, thinking that it's the easiest way avoid conversation with the adult.

"Four," he answers hesitantly after counting on his little fingers. "You're pwetty. Are you Uncwle Edward's girlfwend?"

"Wow you're really…um…." I look at Edward, who's smirking at me.

"Precocious? I just recently told his mom the same thing." He turns to Josh. "No, Buddy. This is Doctor Swan. She's…she's, um..."

"Uncwle Edward alweady has a wife. Her name is Lauren. She's pwetty too." He interrupts, which makes Edward blush a little, still searching for an appropriate response to this nephew's question.

"Your uncle and I are friends, Josh, and thank you for the compliment." I smile at him.

"Friend?" He leans over and whispers to me with a frown.

I shrug and discreetly point at Josh, leaving him in no doubt about my reasons for making the statement.

_The two of us becoming friends is the last thing he needs to be concerned about._

"You're a doctwor too, like my Uncwle Edward?"

"We'll, I'm a different kind of doctor." I'm amused by his enthusiasm. He's really adorable.

"Do you make peopwle all bwetter like my uncwle?"

I look at Edward, who's watching me intently.

"Yes, I try to." I answer and divert my eyes. Suddenly, this innocent little dinner feels like more. I hope it'll be over soon.

Edward keeps to his word and orders pizza and broccoli for Josh. He offers to buy me dinner, but I decline and only accept a diet coke.

I check the time on my cell and see I have a text from Jake. I quickly reply, telling him that I'll call him in about an hour. I don't want to get into the details of my current situation.

We're quietly sitting as Josh finishes his dinner.

"Uncwle Edward, are you and Doctor Swan mating?"

My eyebrows shoot up, and I choke on my drink.

_._

_._

_._

As promised, Edward keeps dinner brief and drives me home soon after.

He puts the car into park as we pull into my apartment's parking lot.

"Home all safe and sound." He announces.

"Thank you," I smile as I exit the car. For some reason, I'm feeling awkward, but I keep reminding myself that it could've been much worse. Edward actually behaved himself, surprisingly being a gentleman. I'm sure it's all due to the presence of his little nephew, who is now half asleep.

"Bye, Josh. It was nice meeting you," I stoop down and peek in through the window.

"Nice meeting you twoo, Dr. Swan. I'm sweepy." He yawns.

"Can you do me a favor, Josh?"

He nods and yawns again.

"Can you call me Bella?"

"I wike Bella bwetter."

"Me too," I chuckle and watch his eyes droop.

"Goodnight, Josh," I whisper and straighten up to look at Edward.

"Thank you again for coming to my rescue. This has been the most interesting, yet entertaining evening I've experienced in a while."

"Well, I'm nothing if not chivalrous, and I do aim to please."

I expect him to smirk, wink or say something suggestive, but he sounds genuine.

I smile and scoff slightly before I walk away.

"Hey…I wanted to thank you for helping out Victoria. She told me what you did. That couldn't have been an easy decision for you." He stops me in my tracks.

"You're right. You didn't make it easy for me at all, but I didn't want to see her future ruined. No offense."

"Oh, none taken," he replies like he truly doesn't take offense.

I've nearly reached the entrance to the apartments, when he calls out again.

"Is it all right if I call you Bella too?"

"No, not if you expect me to respond. Goodnight Doctor Masen," I emphasize his name, clarifying that we are nothing more than doctor and patient.

As I shut the door behind me, I think about my last statement and how it echoes the mantra I've mentally been repeating all night.

_No more than doctor and patient._

"Ex doctor and patient," I huff and lean against the door. I wonder why he hasn't gloated about the fact that he'd no longer be attending therapy. Maybe he doesn't know. Maybe Lauren hasn't mentioned that part to him yet. I recall her making the comment about him "going to be thrilled", so maybe he does know, given his suggestion of us being on a first name basis.

In any case, I'm satisfied that the night has gone smoothly, considering the alternatives, and I'm more thrilled that therapy with the Masen's has come to a head. I'm ecstatic that Doctor Edward Masen will no longer be gracing my presence.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

Twelve hours prior to our scheduled departure, our flight gets pushed back due to a brewing storm. The bad weather has thankfully been forecast in time for passengers to be notified well ahead time. The last thing I would have wanted is to be stuck at the airport.

I call my parents to advise them of our delay, and now I'm stuck in Chicago with nothing to do.

Rosalie is going to use the time to get some much-needed rest. Jake is a workaholic, so he's naturally found something work-related to do.

I have no patients scheduled, so I'm sitting in my empty apartment, in a living room littered with luggage.

_I guess I could find something to do at the office._

I'm bored and tired of just waiting. With Victoria's departure and me losing patients hand over fist, I could use the time to try and find a new receptionist. I gather my luggage, making sure to include the garment bag, which holds my dress for the fundraising dinner, and head out. My intention is, get through some of the administrative backlog, perhaps take a nap and have a shower in my office en suite bathroom, then depart from there.

I flip through my Rolodex identifying potential candidates or people who may know of likely candidates for the receptionist's position. Many people have commented on this outdated method piece of equipment, but it was a gift from my father when I moved into a cubicle at the hospital during my internship, so I value it. He swears by the need to keep things simple and scorns modern technology, that is, until he changed his mind when I bought him the ride-on lawn mower.

I give up in exasperation, having not found anyone suitable.

_Damn it, Victoria!_

"And damn you, Edward Masen."

"Do I hear my name mentioned?" His emergence immediately brings the saying, 'speak of the devil' to mind.

_Speak of the devil and he appears, unannounced, looking gorgeous and ready to do evil. _My subconscious betrays me_._

And that's exactly what he looks like, a recipe for trouble.

"What are you doing here?" I ask a little more harshly than I should.

He frowns at my abrasiveness and shrugs. "Going somewhere?" He steps into the room and gestures at my luggage.

"Never mind where I'm going. What are you doing here?" I ask more sharply.

"It's Wednesday."

"And?" I frown.

"We have an appointment…remember? How's your car?"

"Appointment?" I scowl. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I thought you were serious too." He sits down in the chair in front of me. "This is what you wanted right? You wanted for me to take therapy seriously and to let you fix me, so here I am; fix me."

I roll my eyes.

_Does he think I'm an idiot? _

"Fix you? My job wasn't to fix _you._ My job was to help _you_ _and your__ wife,_ recognize and deal with the problems in your marriage."

"Yes … well…you know what I mean."

I toss my head back and laugh, "You are unbelievable!"

"What?" He chuckles awkwardly. "Why am I so unbelievable? Because I can show that I can be serious and dedicated to something?"

"Dedicated…you…to therapy?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"Yes."

He actually has the nerve to look serious when he answers, but I've had enough of his shenanigans.

"Get out of my office. I have some real work to do before I go out of town. I'm looking for a new receptionist, thanks to you." I ruffle through some papers on my desk.

"What do you mean by _real _work?"

"How long do you plan on continuing with this game of yours?" I look him directly in the eye.

"What g…"

"Let me stop you right there. Lauren came to see me the other day to end therapy. Are you going to tell me you know nothing about that?"

"No, I didn't," he answers without blinking.

"No, you didn't know that she came to see me or, no, you didn't know that she's ended therapy?"

"No, I didn't know about either. We haven't seen or spoken to each other lately, but I guess in light of recent events…." His voice trails, and he looks off to the side.

"Well, let me enlighten you. She came to see me and told me that she would no longer be attending therapy sessions, which lets you off the hook."

He looks back at me quickly. Something in his eyes changes drastically. I can't make out what's caused the change, but suddenly it feels uneasy to be alone with him. I pull back from my desk and walk across the room, pretending to busy myself with some non-existent task. Truthfully, I just want to get away from his intense gaze.

"What if I don't want to be let off the hook, as you so interestingly put it?" He gets up and follows me.

"There is no reason for us to continue this."

"_This_?"

I hear his voice from directly behind me, but I don't turn.

"Yes…_this_. It's not happening. I wish you and your wife the best of everything and hope things work out between you." I step away from him.

"My wife and I are getting a divorce."

I spin around to face him, not believing what I'm hearing, although I can't understand why it comes as a shock. Given the obvious trouble in their marriage, divorce seems like the only solution.

"Divorce?"

"That's right, and I have news for you; _this…._" He gestures between us. "_…_ has been happening since day one. I know you feel it too."

"What?" I whisper in disbelief.

"This thing between you and me is happening. Probably a little slower than I anticipated, but nevertheless," he smiles and shrugs nonchalantly.

This is the Edward Masen I'm familiar with. The man I witnessed the other day had been an aberration.

"I knew it was a mistake to think that the man I saw with his nephew could actually be the same man I'd come to know."

"The way I am with my nephew has nothing to do with this." His green eyes flash and darken, warning of his growing anger.

"I'm so tired of this rollercoaster ride with you, Edward. This is not a game."

He smirks and steps closer. Licking his bottom lip, he advances, forcing me to step back. I know that look, the shameless flirting he always attempts with any available female.

He's playing with me, trying to see if I'll cave. I think it arouses him in some way. I try to project my professional persona, but my emotions are winning out.

"Do you think just because you and Lauren are absolving your marriage that I'm going to finally have sex with you?"

"Wow! Now, that's a revelation," he laughs. "I was thinking maybe some dinner, a little conversation, then who knows what the night might bring."

"A seduction? And to think you'd much rather simply go at it right here on the desk, video cameras taping everything." I spit out. I immediately regret being this sexually explicit with him. A part of me knows that he enjoys it when I entertain his level of boldness, but I'm just so angry.

"Mmm, what a visual." He shakes his head and smiles.

"Dream on, Edward. Your marriage is over, and it doesn't faze you in the least. You were a patient, both you and your wife, now that's over too. Why exactly do you want to continue with therapy? I have no interest in you, outside of your having been a patient."

He now has me backed up against the wall.

"And since you are no longer a patient of mine, you can leave. This session is over."

"You always end it with that statement. So professional." He smiles, knowing exactly what he's doing, the game he's playing. "It doesn't have to be over. In fact, it could be just the beginning, Isabella." He leans down and breathes in my ear.

"You're a pig," I spit. "I could never be with, or care about a man like you. Women have it hard enough without having to deal with an unscrupulous libertine such as you."

He rights his position, and I see him momentarily fight a look of shock and then settle his face into a blank expression. For that split second, he looked at me as if I'd slapped him across the face.

_Is that, a look of hurt or regret?_ _Good. I hit my mark then._

He's angry. I can tell by the dark storm raging in his eyes, the flaring of his nostrils and the vein throbbing at his temple. His chest heaves, and his ragged breathing ruffles strands of my hair. He takes a step back slowly, then another, and another. He never breaks eye contact, and I watch the storm rage in those mesmerizing eyes. When there is finally a safe distance between us, he turns, reaches for his jacket and walks out of the door, slamming it behind him.

I close my eyes and exhale a shaky breath. My head bangs against the back of the wall. I have never before spoken so harshly to a patient. I feel like shit.

I hear the doorknob click and turn. I open my eyes, and Edward stands in the doorway, looking back at me with a conflicted expression.

"Today is my son's birthday." He steps into the room and slams the door decisively.

He's pissed off.

_His son?_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 10

I can't believe what I'm hearing. He continues into the office and resumes speaking.

"My son…I thought…I thought I could come to you and talk about it. It'll the first time I ever have."

_He's never wanted to talk about anything before, I generally need to pry information from him._

"I didn't want kids. Hell, I didn't want Lauren, but I married her because she was pregnant."

I don't move, I don't think my expression changes.

"You have a son? Your wife has never mentioned that in therapy, neither have you." Despite my surprise, I keep my voice calm; I don't want him to stop.

_Why hadn't either of them bothered to mention their son?_

"I don't talk about what happened, and Lauren knows not to. As I said before, I didn't want children…well at least not at the time."

He pauses, trying to gauge my reaction, waiting to see if I'll say anything. When I don't, he continues.

"There was a party; a celebration for passing the Board exam. I remember there were tons of people, fellow residents who had passed their exams as well, some friends and a host of people I didn't know. My sister, Alice, threw the party in my honor. My family was so proud." He chuckles as he reminisces.

He's so lost in the story, it's as if he's forgotten he has an audience. I continue to lean against the wall and listen.

"My parents' house was _trashed_! There was so much booze, and I was completely wasted, I'm talking smashed. I remember I was trying to get Irina to go upstairs to one of the rooms. I'd just received my Board Certification; I was drunk, horny and on cloud fucking nine. I was all over her, telling her how much I loved her, that I'd just passed my Boards, and I was going to be a cardiothoracic surgeon. I remember telling her that I was going to give her the life she deserved.

I was so psyched about it, but Irina kept pushing me away, saying I was drunk, and she wasn't going to have sex with me in a house full of people. That was strange because it wasn't as if we'd never done it before, maybe not with as many people, but…" he shrugs.

I roll my eyes, even back then his mind was constantly on sex.

"I was so pissed off with her. I felt rejected. I recall thinking _I don't have to take this shit from her_. Half the women at that party would jump at the chance to be with me. So, I went looking for a willing partner, and that's when I saw Lauren. It was no secret that she wanted me; she'd been throwing herself at me throughout college. We flirted and messed around a few times, but nothing ever really came of it. She knew that I was dating Irina; hell, they were best friends. It didn't stop her though, she just kept at me."

He looks at me, waiting for a response. Finally, he tosses his jacket on the chair and mimics my position against the opposite wall.

"That night things were different. I was so drunk and getting drunker. Irina continued to ignore me, and Lauren kept flirting. The next thing I knew, we were tearing one another's clothes off in one of the guest rooms. I don't remember shit after that. We never spoke about that night until a few weeks later, when she showed up at my front door with a positive pregnancy test in hand. Irina was standing right next to me, of course. I couldn't fucking believe it; like who carries one of those fucking things around with them?"

He pauses and looks at me as if waiting for an answer. I don't reply, and he shakes his head and continues.

"Irina went off at me; dumped me. Who could blame her? Lauren had finally gotten what she wanted. I married her two months later. She was ecstatic. Her parents were mortified, to say the least, and there I was after just getting myself settled into this amazing career that I worked so hard for; married to a woman I didn't love and expecting a child I wasn't ready for."

I cross my arms across my chest and take advantage of his brief silence. "It takes two to tango, Edward."

"I fucking know that," he snaps. "I'm not blaming Lauren. I just...fuck it. So anyway, you already know the details of the wedding. It was a circus. Married life was just as bad. For the first couple of months, I resented Lauren. She wanted to play this happy family role, and I was just…I couldn't do it. I was still in love with Irina and…"

"So, you cheated on her while she was pregnant with your child," I state.

His eyebrows furrow, and I can see his jaw clenching repeatedly.

"I didn't cheat on her…well, that's if you don't count the momentary indiscretions before and after we exchanged vows."

"Those count, Edward," I scoff.

"I was getting it out of my system, all right," he excuses. "In fact, I started to care about her. I don't know when it happened. I think somewhere during her second trimester we began to bond over the baby, after that damned sonogram." He smiles, shaking his head at the memory.

"The doctor told me to look at the screen, and I was amazed at this little fluttering thing. When he told me Lauren was having a boy, something inside me changed. It was as if…if I had been stripped bare, but in a good way. Everything I did immediately after became about Lauren and my son, instantly, as soon as we left the hospital that day."

I can see the excitement he experienced on that day, flow back into him, as if he's reliving it. I can't contain the small smile that lifts the corners of my mouth.

"We were happy, planning a future, getting ready for our son to come into the world; falling in love."

"Then what happened?"

"It changed," he says simply. "She'd been acting even more needy than usual for some time. I chalked it up to her hormones. She'd pick unnecessary fights with me before I got ready to leave for work. She kept saying I was only going to work so that I could have sex with one of the residents, Jessica. Lauren swore there was something going on between us, but she was wrong. I tried being extra sweet, reassuring her that she was wrong, and that I would never do anything to jeopardize our future, but it didn't help. Then one night, I got called into work late for emergency surgery. There were bad storms with torrential rain and a lot of accidents, car wrecks, flooding. Lauren was upset that I had to go, she was even worse and gave me the silent treatment until I left for work.

When I got a free moment, I called her to make sure everything was okay. She was still pissed and craving coffee ice cream. She said she was going to drive to the grocery store to get what she needed. I flipped out, told her there was a fucking storm outside and that she couldn't go anywhere. She called me a dictator but agreed not to go out and drive."

I feel the doom in the air. The way he now paces confirms my gut feel. I swallow hard, but the lump that's formed in my throat won't budge. "And then?" I rasp.

He pauses and looks over at me. He runs a hand through his already wild hair. I watch as he inhales deeply and lets out a sigh.

"The next thing I know, my wife and unborn child are being rolled into the ER on a gurney."

"What happened?" I ask, despite my certainty that I already know the answer.

"She didn't fucking listen! That's what happened."

"I meant after she was admitted," I clarify, seeing his agitation rise.

"I was in shock…I mean, I saw her face, but I didn't understand how she'd gotten there, in my ER. I walked over to the gurney slowly and looked at her. There was so much blood, blood everywhere, leaking from her head, from her mouth… just so much blood. You'd think it wouldn't phase me, being a surgeon and all." He laughs sardonically and shakes his head.

"I'm sure it was terrifying for you, even being a doctor, to see your pregnant wife that way."

He stares at me with a look I can't explain. The feeling of eeriness heightens in that relatively small space. I'm not sure if I want him to continue.

"Terrifying? No; not at that particular moment. I was pissed off. It was obvious that she'd gone out and driven after I specifically told her not to, after I specifically told her that the weather was too dangerous for her to drive. No, I didn't become terrified until I saw the other place where the blood was leaking from."

And there it is, my fears confirmed. I don't want him to continue, but how can I ask him not to?

"It was like it was only the two of us in that ER. I wanted to strangle her! I called her name, but she wouldn't answer; louder and louder, until one of the nurses grabbed me and said she wasn't breathing, there was no pulse. I could hear voices around me saying that she was coding.

I jumped into full–blown doctor mode, pushing one of the residents out of the way. I started administering chest compressions.

"You were allowed to attend to your wife and unborn child?" I ask in disbelief.

"They weren't going to stop me," he said with finality. "And after relentlessly working on her, shocking her over and over with the paddles, I was able to get her heart started again."

"You saved your wife's life."

"Her life…yes," he says cryptically.

I feel my chest tightening; my words momentarily stuck as I feel my throat constrict.

"And…the…the baby?"

"Lauren…the accident caused so much bleeding…it was..." He sniffs quickly, flaring his nostrils.

I swallow hard, watching him unravel in front of me.

"When the OB/GYN met with me they told me that she wouldn't have to have a hysterectomy, that they could stop the bleeding and give her preterm injections to stop labor."

My eyes widen at his revelation.

"Yeah, she was in full-blown labor. Amazing that I didn't find out _that_ information until after we got her settled into ICU. Unfortunately, the preterm medication couldn't work, because Lauren had to be operated on immediately."

"So…they had to deliver the baby." I state quietly.

"Twenty-one weeks…half of the time it takes to fully develop. My son had to be ripped from his selfish, spoiled mother's womb, twenty weeks too soon because she had to have fucking coffee ice cream! Can you believe that?"

I move away from the wall and step toward him carefully. I don't know what I'm going to do.

_Should I touch him, tell him I understand, say I'm sorry. What?_

He flashes me a warning look, and I pull up.

"May…maybe…maybe she was already in labor and was driving to the hospital?" I try to provide a different insight. It's the therapist in me, the need to find a way to make things better; fix things.

He throws his head back and lets out a short, harsh laugh.

"Edward…"

"You think I didn't play that game? While I waited for the doctors to operate on my wife, and the neonatal team to bring my son into the world, I went over _every _possible scenario in my head! The scenario you just gave was the first, and I convinced myself of it…. until I saw the police report. The evidence was in the backseat of her car in a Cold Stone bag, so don't you dare defend her, Bella. Don't."

"Edward…I…" I step toward him again.

"My son died, Bella! Lauren did that. She killed him." He points at me angrily.

"I bet your next question is why. I can see the word forming on your lips before you can even speak it. You want to know _why _to everything, why did Lauren go out in the storm, why did I cheat on my wife, why I am the way that I am? None of that matters. _Why s_hould I care whether you give a fuck about me or not? I shouldn't. I don't. After all, you're just a therapist, who thinks she knows everything, but doesn't know shit about me. So, go fucking analyze someone else."

He storms out, once again slamming my door, leaving behind the emotional whirlwind that is Edward Masen.

.

.

.

When I left the hospital to see_ her_ today, I hadn't expected that it would turn out like this. Who am I kidding? I didn't know what to expect, I just wanted to see her. I sure as hell didn't expect to tell her about my son.

It's his birthday, and I as always engrossed myself in work so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone about my fucking feelings. I stayed at work overnight and when twelve midnight came, I made sure I was working, avoiding the phone calls I knew I'd get.

My parents know how this day makes me feel, my entire family knows.

They assume the need to worry about me, make sure I'm all right. I didn't want to deal with all that this time, so I avoided everyone.

When there was nothing left for me to do at work, I went to visit his grave, and that's when I could no longer take it. I needed to talk to someone, and _she_ immediately came to mind.

I found myself pacing outside of her office, debating what to do before I finally mustered the courage to go in. Before I knew what was happening, we were exchanging barbs about my failed marriage and how I was trying to get her into bed. That may have been true at any other time, but not today. Today I was there for something different. I needed her to listen to me, but nothing went the way I wanted. She made me angry, and I blurted out the story about my son and then stormed out of her office, infuriated. The last thing I remember just before I left was the look of pity on her face. I don't want her feeling sorry for me. I don't want anyone looking at me that way.

I had hoped that the short time we spent together the other day would have convinced her that I wasn't the pompous ass, who did nothing but cheat on his wife and take advantage of naïve females. All that backfired, and now I'm on my way to do the next best thing.

I walk into my brother's pub, ready to drown the memories. He's behind the bar, going over the liquor inventory.

"You look like shit," he comments right away.

"Thank you. Pour me a whiskey…double."

"Under one condition…that you allow me to join you."

"You're working, Emmett. Wouldn't that give your employees the wrong idea?"

"I'm the owner of this place, I can do whatever I want, and right now, it looks like my big brother needs me."

He pours two glasses, comes around to the other side of the bar and sits down on the barstool beside me.

"You've been to the gravesite?"

"Yep," I answer and toss back the whiskey, scrunching my face as it burns my throat. He immediately pours me another.

"Let me guess…Mom and Dad and our sister have been calling you all day, and you've been ignoring them."

"You're right again. Where are the women at in this place? It's kind of dead."

"Women are the last things that should be on your mind. You're a married man," he says downing his second glass.

"Not for long."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that the wife and I are getting a divorce. It's over, Em."

He's the only person in my family, other than Jasper, that I've told about the divorce. I'm not ready to drop that news on my parents yet. They would only encourage me to make it work. My parents believe that marriage is sacred, and they've been blissfully married for decades. They wouldn't begin to understand the union I had with Lauren. Alice, on the other hand, isn't a fan of Lauren either. She won't be broken up about our split.

"Well I can't say that I'm surprised. Lauren was never my favorite person anyway. She was always a little too clingy to you for my liking. Not a very nice person either."

"I was a bastard to her for our entire marriage, Emmett."

"I agree with you on that, but Lauren is no saint, Edward. We all have to be held accountable for our actions, even her."

My brother is a fair guy, a little on the immature side, but it's a part of his charm. We're extremely close, and he's immensely protective of me. Strange, given I'm older, although you can't tell just by looking at us. Emmett is several inches taller than me, standing at six foot six, and he has a huge build, whereas I'm slimmer, with a more athletic physique. Everyone assumes that he is my older brother.

"Yeah…well, I did my fair share of wrong too, even if some of it was warranted."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. Lauren is a big girl. She knew exactly what she was getting herself into when she kept pursuing you. She didn't give a shit that you were in love with her best friend, and that the two of you were in a serious relationship."

"I know this."

"And she damned sure didn't care when she selfishly put herself and your son in danger that night," he continues, becoming more pissed.

"I know, Em"

"And do not get me started on what she did to you the night of the party, all those years ago."

"All right, calm down, Emmett. There's no need to rehash the past. I was there."

"I'm sorry, man…I just…you're my brother, and I'll always have your back; no matter what."

We drink in silence. The pub is starting to fill up for lunch, and the bar area has become a bit noisy.

"So, have you heard from her at all today?"

"No."

"Unbelievable." He shakes his head in disappointment.

"It still fucks with her too, Em. She feels guilty."

"Well she should; for that and other things."

.

.

.

I leave the pub and don't really feel any better than I did when I got there. My original plans were to just keep to myself all day. I decide there is no time like the present to live up to that pledge.

I head home and toss some leftover lasagna into the oven.

Calls, which I ignore, keep coming in from my parents and my sister throughout the day. I finally give in and answer my mother but keep the conversation brief and pretty much one sided.

"I'm fine, Mom. Tell Dad not to worry and that I love him. Pass the message along to Alice too," I say, as if I've rehearsed the line, and end the call.

I sigh heavily and take a seat on the couch. My family means well, but I just don't feel like reliving what happened with them. I want to be alone with my thoughts. It's how I've dealt with his birthday and the anniversary of his death for over seven years, so it was weird when this year, I found myself at Bella's office, wanting to discuss it. I've never discussed it with anyone, not even Lauren.

I can still vividly recall her first day at home from hospital.

_I enter the bedroom, freshly showered and getting ready for work._

_She's sitting at the windowsill in the same satin nightgown and matching robe that she's been wearing since I brought her home early in the day. I have a feeling that she'll be wearing it tomorrow and many days to come._

_She looks pale and her hair is unkempt. She's very obviously underweight, more so than she should be, even given the circumstances._

_She has been only barely eating, just enough for her doctors to have discharged her. They said that the way she's acting is normal. I don't know if it's normal or not, but it sure as hell is scary._

_I don't want to leave her alone so soon, but I'm the only surgeon available to do a triple- bypass._

_Lauren's shut everyone, including her parents out. She won't allow anyone over to see how she's doing. At this point, I can't recall what her voice even sounds like. She hasn't spoken a word since I told her about the baby._

"_Alice says she'll come over directly from work to keep you company."_

"_I don't need a babysitter, Edward. Call her back and tell her no. It's not as if she likes me anyway." she says dully, still looking out of the window._

_Well, at least she's talking._

"_Can I get you anything before I go in to work? I made a quick salad and roasted some chicken breasts while you were napping. Do you think that you could try and eat a little? I bought your favorite gelato too."_

_She shakes her head and waves me off._

_That was probably a dumb idea. I didn't mean to seem insensitive about the accident by buying the ice cream. I was just thinking of her health. I consider an apology, but I know it will make things worse, so I don't._

"_I have a triple-bypass scheduled in about an hour, after that I'll come straight home." I button the cuff of my shirt and wait to see if she'll reply, and boy does she ever._

"_Don't bother; I'm sure you'll be much happier there, fucking Jessica Stanley in one of the on-call rooms."_

"_Lauren…" I sigh in frustration. "I'm not sleeping with Jessica Stanley, nor have I ever."_

"_Well, that'll be a first for you."_

_I pinch the bridge of my nose, willing myself not to answer. I know she's grieving, but hell so am I._

"_I've been one hundred percent faithful to you."_

"_I'm sure Irina would find that statement laughable. Did you tell her that too, after you fucked me?"_

_I know I shouldn't have let myself get sucked into this argument, but she's hitting below the belt now, and I'm having a hard time suppressing my anger._

"_That was different." I grit my teeth._

"_Oh, was it?" She turns to look at me. "Was it different when you returned the favor by fucking her an hour before and after you married me?"_

_I can't believe she's throwing this in my face, and now of all times. I can't see past my own anger to realize that she's acting this way because she's grieving._

"_You know why that happened, Lauren."_

"_Bullshit! Don't you dare tell me it was because you loved her, I'm so sick of hearing the age- old story of Edward and Irina, and how you two were meant to be together forever! I sure proved that to be inaccurate."_

_She's in tears, screaming at the top of her lungs and pacing the room angrily. She's falling apart, and I have no idea how to stop it. What I do know is that I can't continue to fan the flames. I need calm her down._

"_Lauren, baby, come and sit down. You just had major surgery. It's not good for you to get yourself all worked up over nothing." I try reaching for her, but she jerks away from me._

"_You think you and Irina were perfect too, that you were going to have the perfect life. You both flaunted that in my face! You knew how I felt about you, but you never paid me any attention. All you cared about was her! That's why I did what I did. I had to make you understand that I was better for you, Edward!"_

_I have absolutely no clue what she's talking about, and I really don't care. If I don't calm her down, I'll have to have her admitted for psychiatric care._

"_Lauren…come here…don't do this. I'm with you now. None of that stuff matters anymore. I love you now." I grab her effortlessly this time and wrap my arms around her. "Shh...it's okay, baby."_

"_I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry I hurt you! I never meant to hurt you or our son!" She bawls into my chest. "Please forgive me!"_

"_It's all right, Sweetie." I kiss the top of her head and rock her in my arms. "I forgive you."_

It wasn't until sometime later that I learned what she truly meant, what she was truly apologizing for. It changed my life to this day.

I dig into my pocket and pull out the picture, the only one I have. I stare at it every day. It's a picture of my son, taken two days after he was born. He wasn't expected to make it that long.

We named him EJ, Edward Junior. Lauren insisted on it. We were devastated when we lost him. We were so optimistic when he survived past the crucial twenty-four hours. He wasn't out of the woods by any means, but he had such fight in him, or so we thought. How much strength could a baby that tiny have? It was a struggle for him to just breathe. He died two days later in the NICU.

"I know you fought as hard as you could, little one." I trace his face with my index finger and fight back the tears. "I love you."

My head jerks up when I hear my front door unlock. There's only one person who has the key to get in. She enters quietly and cautiously approaches me.

"I'm…sorry. I left something in our … in the bedroom closet. I thought you would be at work." Her voice, for once, is gentle and calm.

"That's fine. Pretend like I'm not even here." I slouch down into the sofa and throw an arm over my eyes.

"Are you all right, Edward?"

"I'm fan-fucking-tastic," I sigh, wishing she would just stick to the reason she came. I feel her slip the picture from my fingers, and I hear her exhale sharply.

"I stared at this very same picture all day. He was so tiny and so very beautiful."

I don't respond or acknowledge that I've heard her. She knows full well that I did.

"Did you visit him?"

"Did you?" I snap.

"I always do."

"Then you'd know that every year I place a little token on his grave. I cannot believe you actually asked me that." I lift my arm to stare her directly in the eye.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, of course you visit him," she murmurs to herself. "It was just a way to talk about it, or…" Her voice trails off.

"I don't want to talk about it, Lauren. Can you just get what you came for and go?"

"Yeah…I'll do that," she sighs again and goes upstairs.

I look at my son's picture again. I feel like shit.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Lauren comes back down with a garment bag in her arms and heads right for the door without saying another word to me.

"Lauren, I'm sorry."

She stops and turns to me, nodding that she knows and that it's okay.

"Are you all right?"

"It gets better each day."

I know she's talking about more than the baby.

I nod, and she knows that I understand.

"I'm sorry, Edward…for everything.

And again, I know she's talking about more than just the baby.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 11

I spend the night alone, grieving the loss of my son, and surprisingly, it doesn't feel any different than in the past, when Lauren was home. I think about calling to check in on her but decide against it. She'll be fine. Her family will make sure of it.

I wake up very early, shower and head into work. Surgery is the only thing that can keep me grounded when I feel at a loss.

"Excellent work on the aortic valve replacement, Doctor Masen."

I hear someone trot up behind me, but I don't slow my pace. I've been in surgery since four a.m., I'm starving, and I want to have lunch.

"Thank you, Doctor Newton. I'm grateful for the assistance."

"Believe me, it was an honor. As you, I'm a fan of your work."

"Well, again, thank you. I appreciate the compliment."

I'm being a bit brusque and probably over-polite, I know. I respect Mike Newton, but he and I have never seen eye to eye. Any regard I have for him is limited to his professionalism and skill as a surgeon. We're colleagues and often have to work together in the OR, but our competitiveness and mutual dislike, which started in college, continues to this day.

He's one of those spoiled, preppy types; born with a silver spoon in his mouth, California bred, with blonde, perfectly groomed hair, blue eyes, pearly white, straight teeth and perfect posture. He reminds me of a high-end store mannequin.

_Stiff._

He's also a conceited prick. I know that there are derogatory names for me floating around the hospital, but I'm a dream compared to Mike Newton.

"Looking forward to meeting more fans of your work this weekend?

_Fuck. Why is this guy still talking? Why won't he just get a clue?_

"Meeting what fans, what are you talking about?" I stop and turn to look at him.

"You know… the conference in Miami this weekend, you are going, aren't you?"

_Shit. I forgot about that._

"I'd forgotten all about it, Mike."

"Well, surely you don't want to disappoint all of the doctors coming from around the country to meet _the_ Doctor Edward Masen," he says with a strong hint of the sarcasm he always uses when speaking to me.

"Well, I'm not _the_ Doctor Edward Masen. That would be my father, as you well know."

"You know what I meant, Masen. Don't be obtuse."

"I'm not being obtuse, I'm simply correcting your facts." I frown at him. "But to answer your question, no, I don't think I'll be attending the conference this year."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. What a shame. Failure to represent St. Luc's and to uphold your father's legacy, that's pretty selfish, wouldn't you agree?"

_What a dick._

"And let's not forget about the DW&D Auction. That's right up your alley." He leans over to nudge my shoulder suggestively.

He's referring to the famous Doctors' Wine and Dine Auction. It's the Annual Conference tradition, and I must admit the liveliest part of the entire weekend. Doctors from hospitals around the country allow themselves to be auctioned off with the highest bidder getting to spend dinner with the person they've bid on. The event is amicably competitive, often rowdy and lots of fun. All proceeds go to medical research into incurable diseases.

"The Auction _is_ right up my alley. Anything, which assists in the future of medicine is, Mike," I say crossly.

"Oh, come on, Doctor Masen. You and I both know that you love having all those beautiful, hot women fighting over you. What will they do if you don't show up?"

He's baiting me, I know, but contrary to his opinion of me, I respect my father and this hospital too much to use the charitable event as a vehicle for a sexual liaison. I _do _enjoy the auction, but I don't participate for the women.

_Fucking prick. _

And instantly, my mind is changed. I'm going to the conference, but I won't give him the satisfaction of letting him know.

"Don't worry, Mike, I'm sure St. Luc's will be well represented at the conference, especially if you and your _lovely_ wife are attending. Make sure you get the Brioni or Armani tailored fit. The bidders go crazy over that shit." I condescendingly pat him on the back before walking away.

"You listen to me you slimy little..." He grabs me, angrily pointing a finger in my face and gripping the front of my scrubs. "I know all about you and your womanizing bullshit. You stay away from my wife, or you'll be sorry."

"You need to relax, man," I chuckle, mockingly. "Angela is a sweet girl, but not my type at all, a little too shy and giggly for my taste."

"You just make sure and keep it that way, Masen." His hand fists tighter as he speaks, and I hold up both palms in surrender. He finally releases me and turns away.

"Although, you do know what they say about the shy ones, don't you, Mike?" I yell over my shoulder, straighten out the wrinkles in my scrub and smirk broadly.

I wonder if he has any idea that his wife is screwing around on him? Maybe that's why he flipped his switch so easily. I know Angela hasn't told him anything, or else this conversation would have taken an entirely different course. She's clearly talking about it though, Doctor Swan confirmed that, and gossip floats through these corridors like an airborne disease. Something's definitely needling at him, but I'm not sure what.

_He'd lose it if he ever discovered that his sweet, 'Angelic' wife was a closet freak. Or maybe he'd thank me for unlocking the door._

All I know is that his expression became murderous at any mention of her name. Miami will definitely prove to be one interesting trip, that's for sure.

After my shift, I head over to my parents' house for dinner and an impromptu family meeting. My mother generally only cooks for family gatherings on Sundays, so her and Dad must have something important to share, given the mid-week invitation.

I greet her with a kiss when she opens the door.

"Hello, Sweetheart. I have a bone to pick with you later, Mister. Don't even think about leaving without talking to me," she warns.

"I won't, Mom."

"Everyone's in the dining room. We're waiting for your cousin to get here as well. Then we can start dinner," she links her arm with mine as we enter the dining room.

"Which cousin would that be, Mom? I have quite a few."

"I know that, smarty-pants. Carlisle and your aunt Esme are coming over."

"Christ, who died?"

"No-one died, Edward!" she gasps. "We just have some important family news, and your father and I want to share it with all of you."

Everyone is in the dining room talking amongst one another. Josh is sitting on the floor, deeply engrossed in a Spiderman coloring-book.

'Finally, now we can eat." Emmett announces loudly when he sees me walk in.

"No, we can't, I'm still waiting for Carlisle and Esme. There are some veggie sticks and dip there, if you're hungry, Emmett," my mother gestures to the tray of appetizers.

"Great. Rabbit food." Emmett bites into a celery stick with obvious dissatisfaction. The loud crunch resounds simultaneously with the doorbell.

"That must be them, I'll get it." Alice jumps up excitedly.

"So, are you ready for the conference this weekend, Son?" My father asks as we exchange a quick embrace.

"Actually, I'd forgotten all about it. I don't even have a flight scheduled."

"I'm supposed to speak, but I may need to fly out to California to consult on a complex surgical case. I was hoping that you'd be able to fill in for me, but I know it's been a tough week for you, so perhaps you ought to skip it this time. I hear Doctor Mike Newton will be attending, he can represent St. Luc's this year."

I grit my teeth at the mention of his name. There's no way I'm letting Mike get all the credit for St. Luc's, when I've worked my ass off.

"I'm fine, Dad, I'm going to the conference, even if I have to drive all the way there. If you're not able to attend, I'll have your back.",

"Don't try to be Superman, Edward. You don't have to do it all. Take some time for yourself, if you need it."

Josh snaps out of his concentration, as a frown sets on his earnest face.

"Maybe not Superman, but definitely Spiderman." I wink at him to let him know that I've taken care of my father's tiny mishap, and he goes back to coloring.

"What?" My father laughs, seeing our exchange.

"It's an inside thing, Dad; but in all seriousness, I'm fine, and I will be going to the conference. I'll make you proud."

"I _am _proud of you, Son. Always have been; always will be. Come on, let's go and greet your cousin."

My cousin Carlisle and Aunt Esme enter the room and hug and kiss everyone. They moved to Los Angeles some time ago, and we don't get to see them as often as we used to.

Carlisle is my father's nephew, my father's sisters' son. He's part owner of the successful law firm Cullen and Clearwater. He's always busy, so we rarely get to spend time with him. We grew up around Carlisle. He used to babysit us a lot, so, we've always been close cousins. Emmett, Alice and I still find it hard to believe that he's not actually in our age range, however still considered younger.

He's our favorite cousin, generous, down-to-earth and fun to be with. We think it's even weirder that he's married to Aunt Esme, our mother's identical twin.

They met at our parents' wedding and fell in love. A year later, my father's nephew and my mother's sister were married.

My father thought it was a little odd, but my mother was thrilled. She and her sister are so close, it's scary how alike they are not only in looks but mannerisms, and she absolutely adores Carlisle. My father eventually learned to accept it.

"Look who's here!" Alice squeals loudly.

"Esme!"

"Lizzie, oh my God!" My aunt runs over to embrace my mother. Everything about them is identical, even their voices. They have thick, wavy dark hair and gray-green eyes. The only way you can tell them apart is by the length of their hair. My mom wears hers just below her jawline, and my aunt's hangs down to her shoulders. We're in trouble if they both wear it up, there have been times that they had and then thoroughly enjoyed the confusion that ensued.

"Do I get a hug like that too?" Carlisle smiles and walks over to where the two women are still connected.

"Of course, you do, come here. God, I've missed you two so much!" My mother grabs hold of Carlisle without releasing her sister.

"Wow, this is rare. Every man's dream, huh, Uncle E?" He waggles his eyebrows at my father, and we all erupt in laughter.

"In _your_, dreams, Carlisle. Now let go of my wife. I may be older than you, but I can still kick your butt." My father walks over and exchanges a hug with him and my aunt.

We head to the dining table for dinner. The big announcement isn't about my parents, but about Esme and Carlisle moving back home and buying the house directly down from theirs. They're truly very close, so everyone's ecstatic.

"Is it just me or is it strange that both of my strapping, young and handsome cousins are sitting here, womanless. What's the story?" Carlisle questions my brother and me.

"Edward's story is better." Emmett immediately diverts attention from himself.

"I'll get to you later Emmett. Edward, where's your beautiful wife?"

A happy family moment is not the time to blurt out that I'm getting a divorce. More importantly, I don't want to say anything before I have a chance to speak with my parents.

"Um…. Lauren is…." I struggle for words, and my aunt sensing my discomfort, intervenes.

"Carlisle, remember when we got married, Edward was a little older than Josh, and he didn't understand it? Oh, my goodness. It was the funniest thing ever." My aunt giggles.

I roll my eyes in anticipation of the collective reaction.

"I remember. We kept trying to explain it to him, and he kept asking questions, all wide-eyed and serious." Carlisle adds with a laugh.

"Just like Josh!" My family shouts in unison. The room reverberates with seemingly endless laughter; the only people not participating are Josh and I.

"In my defense, I was only a child," I retort somewhat petulantly, and they laugh even harder.

"Em and Alice, what are the two of you laughing at?" I glare at the pair. "You guys were just babies. I mean, really. I could have been scarred for life. I couldn't understand how my aunt and cousin could get married!" I think I sound as outraged as the five-year old me must have been.

The women are now practically in tears, while the males shake their heads in amusement.

"Oh, come on. As an 8-year old child, was I not justified in thinking that it was weird that my cousin and my Aunt Esme were mating?" I turn my gaze to Alice, who immediately nearly chokes as her laughter dries up.

"Aunt Ezzy and cousin Carlisle are mating too?" Josh gasps.

All eyes swing to him, and now, everyone except Alice laughs, and I sit back, almost satisfied. Emmett will keep.

The evening is spent with good food and our family reliving happy memories, it's clear that everyone is overjoyed at the prospect of such gatherings once more becoming a frequent occurrence when Carlisle and Esme get back to Chicago.

They prepare to leave with a promise to let us all know if they need any help with their move.

"Next time, guys, you owe me a game of football. We've got to play. Alice, tell that husband of yours to be here."

"Yay!" Josh cheers and high-fives Carlisle

"I will do just that, Carlisle." Alice quickly kisses him and my aunt and heads out of the room. "Josh, come with mommy so we can make Daddy a plate for when he gets home from work."

"Okay, Momma. Bye Aunt Ezzy, bye cousin Carlisle!"

"He's so cute. I can't wait until we can have a grandchild of our own," Esme says.

"We'll have to tell that son of ours to put a rush on that," Carlisle adds.

"Speaking of my nephew, you tell him his Aunt Lizzie wants him here at dinner next time. No excuses."

"Yeah, tell him to take a break from being a brilliant architect and to call me. I haven't chatted with him in months." I say, hugging them both as they walk out of the door.

"We'll tell him. Bye, you guys, we'll see you soon, and we love you!" they yell from their car windows.

"This was the best night, wasn't it, honey?" My mother turns to my father.

"Yes, it was. It's always good to see them. They're still so much in love, just like us." He leans down and places a kiss on her forehead.

I smile and look down at the ground. I'm happy to see all of them, still together and blissfully in love. A part of me wishes that for myself, but I know deep down that it had never been possible with the woman I'd married. I need to tell my parents about the divorce.

Emmett has left and Alice and Josh are waiting for Jasper inside. My parents and I have decided to lounge on the porch. I guess this is the perfect time to finally talk to them.

"I'm sorry I was so distant the other day. I feel like every year I have to ask you guys to forgive my behavior."

"You don't have to ask us for forgiveness, Edward. You're our son, and we love you. We just wanted to know that you were all right, that's all." My father explains.

"Are you alright, Sweetheart?"

"I'm fine, Mom, but Lauren and I aren't. We're getting a divorce."

"Oh, no, are you sure, Honey? What's happened?" Her face falls, and she leans up and places her hand over mine.

"I'm completely sure. It's been in the making for a while now. We just aren't happy. I don't think we ever were."

"It's not something the two of you can work out, Son?"

"It's been eight years, Dad. We would only continue to make ourselves miserable by keeping up the façade. It's time for us both to move forward."

They appear shocked and at a loss for words.

"Now, don't all speak at once," I try to lighten the mood with humor.

"That was a bombshell, Edward. Allow us some time to process."

"How much time do you think you might need?" I check my watch.

"Edward." My mother warns.

"Okay, I'm sorry, but I'm fine. Lauren is fine. It was a mutual decision."

I sense that they have much more to say but think better of it. They both tell me they'll support any decision I make, and we sit in comfortable silence.

.

.

.

It's been difficult securing a return flight to Miami, but with some tenacity and a lot of charm, I manage to get a first, class seat.

I board my flight and get settled into my seat next to a young, brunette woman. She reminds me of _her. _ I divert my eyes from her face. I don't want to think about her.

_Bella._

I rest my head back; close my eyes and wait for take-off. I know I'll be asleep in no time, but so much for not thinking about Isabella Swan, she's on my mind even as I drift off.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12

"What's the matter with you? You've been on another planet since we left Chicago." Rose leans over and whispers to me.

She's right, but I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it. The truth is, I've been on another planet ever since Edward's big revelation yesterday. I've been up all night thinking about it. The doctor in me wants to reach out to him to see if he's all right, but another part of me insists that I let it go and just walk away. But I didn't just walk away; I got on a plane and left Chicago. I need this time to get my head clear, anyway.

"I'm fine, Rose." I lean over and whisper back, somewhat annoyed by her observation.

"I'm going to use the bathroom. I'll be right back," Jake announces. He's obviously unaware of the side conversation between Rosalie and me.

"That's a crock of shit and you know it, Isabella Swan." She waits until Jake is just out of earshot. "You haven't said ten words all morning. It's so unlike you. Are you going to tell me what the problem is? Are you and Jake still having problems?"

I bite my lip and contemplate telling her. I'm not exactly sure how to bring it up, but I know she'll keep hounding me, unless I tell her something.

"All right, fine. Hypothetically speaking…." I obfuscate. "Let's say I have this patient…well ex-patient and he's a nightmare to deal with, to say the least. He's calculating and …and…manipulative… doesn't treat women with any kind of respect whatsoever…"

"Is this about Doctor Masen, Bella?"

_Shit._

"Damn it, Rosalie! I said hypothetically speaking." I whisper-shout my irritation.

"Okay, don't bite my head off! Hypothetically speaking…go on." She urges, but now I'm skeptical.

I take a deep breath and start again.

"Ex-patient and a nightmare, as I was saying, but what if there was something so tragic that happened in his life …so deeply tragic, that caused him to be the ass that he is? Hypothetically speaking, that is."

"Well hypothetically. I think you're talking about Masen, and there is no excuse for any sort of abuse of a woman, tragic past or not…hypothetically."

_Crap, she's pissed._

"Hypothetically, I think you should dump his ass as a patient."

"Ex-patient."

"Well then, in that case, hypothetically speaking, I think that there is absolutely no reason for you to continue to see this 'ex-patient.' She air-quotes with her fingers. "Does that answer your question?

"Yeah, pretty much."

She ends the conversation by putting her earbuds in, but my obsessing continues.

After their encounter, Edward had left his own impression on Rosalie, but I admit I worsened when she started connecting the dots that he was indeed the difficult patient I'd been referring to. That was a professional slip on my behalf, which I still regret. Since then, she's been pretty scathing about him.

We're parting ways with Rosalie. She's staying with her parents, who only live a few miles away from mine. I'm sure she's staying with them only so she won't feel like a third-wheel.

"We should introduce her to my cousin Paul," Jake says as we wait for her to pick up her rental car.

"Paul and Rosalie?" I cringe. "He's not her type."

"What was that? I saw that cringe. What's wrong with my cousin?" he asks humorously.

"Nothing is wrong with Paul. He just can't handle a woman like Rose."

We turn to watch her chewing out the guy who obviously brought her the wrong car.

_That poor guy!_ I shake my head at the scene.

"Thanks, baby," Jake chuckles as he looks on in awe.

"You're welcome." I won't be held responsible for unleashing Rosalie on a mild-tempered man like Paul. She needs someone who can keep up with her. We're still looking for a guy who is up to the task.

Jake and I are finally on the road and an hour later, we pull up to my parents' house.

My mother is already on the lawn, ecstatically waiting for us to exit the car.

"Sweet Pea!"

I hurry over, silently cursing the nickname she's called me since I was little. We hug for a long while before she turns to Jake.

"Are you taking care of my Sweet Pea, Jacob?"

"I'm doing my best, Mrs. Swan," he chuckles and returns her embrace.

"Call me Renee, you're family, Jake," she rolls her eyes playfully.

"Where's Dad, Mom?"

'He's out back, grilling all your favorites." She wraps her arm around my waist and leads me in.

"I'll grab the luggage," Jake calls from behind us.

"Are you sure? Here, let me help you."

"No, no. I have it, sweetheart; you go and visit with your parents. They miss you. I'll get everything inside," he waves us toward the door.

"He's more handsome than I remember. When are you two getting married and giving me some grandchildren?"

"Mom," I warn.

"Fine. I'll be good. I promise, Sweet Pea."

I know that she won't be able to keep that promise.

I tiptoe up behind my father, but he spins around before I can clasp my hands over his eyes to surprise him. He's always caught me, even when I was a kid.

"Your hair has grown," he says as we hug. He always notices things like that, and I think it's sweet.

"I hear the grass has gotten shorter," I wink at him.

"She hates that thing, drives her crazy," he whispers conspiratorially as he leans down to nuzzle my forehead with his.

"I know," I whisper back.

"Next year, for Father's Day, I want an electric saw."

"You've got it," I giggle and hug him, this time a little longer.

"Where's that hot-shot lawyer boyfriend of yours?"

"He's bringing the luggage in." I dip my finger in his homemade barbecue sauce.

"Perfect, Dad."

He gives me a 'thumbs up' sign and goes back to arranging the food on the grill. "So, when are you two getting married?"

"Dad." I warn for the second time today.

My parents are obsessed with my marital status. They're definitely going to be up to no good during this visit.

When Jake finally joins us, we take the food inside. My dad has made everything, from barbecued porterhouse steaks to homemade apple pie. He's always been an excellent cook. My mother and I have always just sat back and reaped the benefits.

"How's the firm, Jake?" My father refills his glass with iced tea.

"Thank you, Charlie. Uh…things are really good, although I couldn't wait to step away for a while, spend some quality time with Bella." He turns and smiles at me.

"How long are you going to be able to stay?" Mom asks.

"We'll be staying for four days. I'll also be working this weekend."

"Oh, that's right, you have that medical conference to attend."

"Mmhm," I mumble with my mouth full.

"Well, it's wonderful that you two could arrange to have the same time off," she adds.

"That was all Jake. He rearranged his schedule so we could have the time together. I'm so happy and grateful that he did." I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.

"Aw, that's so sweet. Charlie, isn't that wonderful?"

"It sure is. It will be more wonderful if I could get a grandchild soon."

_Damn it._

We're up late, catching up until my father can no longer hang and heads off to bed. Mom shows us where we'll be sleeping and then joins Dad. My parents' house is huge, and my mother, assuming that we would want privacy, has insisted that we take the furthest bedroom from theirs. She's nuts if she thinks I'll be having sex in this house, Jake on the other hand, has other ideas.

"Jake, stop it!" I whisper sternly. "I can't do this with my parent's down the hall!"

"Are you kidding me? Their bedroom is literally three-quarters of a mile away," he exaggerates as he strips off his shirt and stands before me all tanned and muscular. "They won't hear a thing."

"Jacob Black, I'm serious." I watch him unzip his jeans and push them, along with his boxers, down his hips. He's naked and very erect. How can I protest?

"I'm serious too, Bella." He grabs my ankle and pulls me down to the end of the bed to meet him. Before I know it, he has me naked and doing what I swore I wouldn't be caught dead doing in my parents' house. I hope they're not listening.

.

.

.

Rosalie shows up the next morning to pick me up for the conference. Jake and my father have gone to a doubleheader baseball game that will keep them occupied all day. My mother is at her book club meeting, then she's going shopping for some extra 'little things', she says I need for the banquet dinner. She enjoys being able to shop for me; it makes her feel like she still has a little girl. Who am I to disillusion her?

"So, how was your first night back home?" Rosalie asks as we get stuck in traffic.

"It was really nice. My dad grilled steaks and then both my parents grilled _me _about my personal life. It was fun."

"Yeah, sounds like the same thing that went on at my welcome home dinner. Only difference is, you _have _a personal life. My mother doesn't understand how someone as beautiful, smart and ambitious as me hasn't been able to land a man. Her words exactly."

"What did your father have to say?" I laugh.

"He said, 'Rosalie, darlin', never get married so you can keep the Hale name alive after I'm dead and buried'." She imitates her father's voice to perfection.

"Your dad is hilarious." Rose's parents are a riot because they're like night and day, and no one can fathom how two such different people could stay married for so long; but they have and are still very much in love.

"Yeah, well, maybe you can offer them your expertise. Then maybe they would agree on something."

"Your parents are fine, believe me. They don't need to agree on everything."

"Well, you're the expert. God, traffic is horrendous!" she honks her horn impatiently at the driver in front of us.

We arrive much later than we had planned. The room, thankfully, is too crowded for people to notice. Well, except for Tanya Denali. She noticed and makes it her mission to let us know.

"Bella, Rosalie, what took you guys so long? You do know that the conference started over an hour ago?"

There are hundreds of people, maybe close to a thousand, and she is able seek us out instantly! We show our medical identification at the counter and are granted access.

"It's just like you to clock everyone's time, Tanya. Don't you have anything better to do?" Rosalie spits out venomously.

Tanya scowls, but doesn't retort, and it isn't because she doesn't know what to say. She can give as good as she gets, and they could go at it for hours. For some reason, she chooses not to entertain an argument with Rose today. Tanya and Rosalie share a love-hate relationship, surely more hate and less love.

"It's nice to see _you_, Bella. I hope we can meet up later, maybe have a drink or two?"

"Sure, Tanya. Let's do that."

She scowls darkly at Rose before turning to walk away.

"Be nice." I warn as sweetly as I possibly can.

"I'm being nice," she holds up her hands in mock surrender.

"Uh huh. Let's go."

We head in to where a video-cinematography presentation is scheduled to start. A speaker steps up to the podium.

"Good morning. I'd like to take this time to thank each and every one of you for attending this year's Annual Conference. Each year, as you know, the summit focuses on a specific area of medicine. I'm proud to announce that this year's focal point is the heart. Heart health is one of the important medical issues facing us today. We are constantly researching and developing ways to prolong life and keep the heart healthy. It's such an important goal, and we still have a long road ahead of us. I'm proud to say that because of your attendance at this summit and tomorrow night's dinner and auction, you will play a vital role in helping to ensure heart health. Now, I feel I've spoken enough and it's time to turn over the microphone to someone who knows a great deal about subject matter. Doctor Masen, will you do us the honor?"

"Thank you, Gianna."

My attention is immediately riveted at the mention of his name, and my eyes widen when he steps up to the podium. I don't know why I'm shocked that he's here. He's a world-renowned cardiothoracic surgeon. Of course, he'd be here. I guess I'm just a little surprised to see him so soon after the altercation back at my office.

"Speak of the devil…hypothetically of course." Rosalie leans over to comment.

"Shut up!" I snap.

"Good morning, everyone. My name is Doctor Edward Masen. I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon at St. Luc's in Chicago, in case anyone here doesn't know that already," he jokes lightly, and the entire room laughs.

"On a more serious note, we're all here with the same goal in mind, and that is to raise awareness and hopefully, a substantial amount of money for the research into heart health, as Gianna has already mentioned. Now, I'm sorry I don't have a more detailed speech prepared as I'm filling in for my father, who was supposed to speak today, but had to cancel as he, unfortunately, was called away to California.

I hope to make up for his absence and my lack of preparation with the remarkable presentation, that a host of brilliant doctors from around the world and I have put together over this past year. I hope that you enjoy it."

He's passionate and sincere; all traces of the flirtatious, pompous Doctor Masen are nowhere to be found. Why would they be? He's the consummate professional and an amazing surgeon, this is about work, and I for one, understand the importance of professionalism.

I continue to watch him carefully as he flips through the stills, detailing each one with great passion, knowledge and precision. The man is a force to be reckoned with, his ability to draw people in and hold attention is awe-inspiring.

"Boy, am I glad I'm not you." Rosalie says.

"Shh!"

"I mean seriously, just to think that you have to counsel someone that insanely hot and not be able to…."

"Don't you dare finish that sentence and be _quiet_. We're at a medical conference, for God's sake."

"I'm just saying," she murmurs to herself, but loud enough for me to hear.

"I know what you're saying, and it's ridiculous. I mean aren't you the one who said I should dump him as a patient? Wasn't that you?"

We agree to disagree and turn our attention back to the presentation.

Once concluded, refreshments are being served, and everyone mingles. I take the time to read over the itinerary for the rest of the weekend. In my periphery, I see Edward. He's standing alone, seemingly doing the same thing. Fighting my better judgment, I decide to congratulate him on his presentation.

He doesn't notice my approach, so I catch him totally off guard.

"Ahem…"

His head jerks up, and his eyebrows furrow briefly.

"Small world," he finally says.

"Obviously."

The silence is awkward, and I scramble for something to say.

"Anyway, I just wanted to say, that was amazing work you did up there. It was awe-inspiring."

"Thank you."

_What? No smirking, smiling or flirting?_

He's almost monosyllabic. Has our last encounter changed everything? Whatever this behavior is, it's knocking me off balance. I'm not sure how to deal with this Edward Masen.

"So…are you attending the dinner tomorrow night?"

_Smart, Bella!_

"Yes, I'll be there. Can't miss the tradition."

I nod and turn to avoid his gaze. I suddenly feel that it was a huge mistake for him to have revealed such a private part of himself to me, which is ridiculous as my entire professional relationship with him was based on me wanting to have him do exactly that.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Rosalie Hale." She appears out of nowhere and extends her hand to him. He takes her hand politely and smiles.

"I remember you. That was you that night at my brother's pub."

_Kill me now._

"Yes, that's me," she says haughtily.

"That's funny. I didn't know then that you were a doctor." He frowns slightly.

"That i_s_ funny, because at the time I didn't know you were either…. among other things."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I didn't know anything about you until my friend Bella, here, enlightened me."

_Oh God, Rosalie._

"Did she now? What exactly did _Bella_ enlighten you about?" he looks at me accusingly.

"Nothing," I jump in and pull Rosalie away, but she won't budge.

_Why is she doing this?_

"No, I'm interested in knowing what exactly you told her about me, because I believe doctor-patient confidentiality was definitely still intact back then."

"It _was _intact, and I simply told her that you were my patient, Edward. That's all."

"Are you sure that's all you said, because I'm getting some really weird vibes from your friend."

"Listen buddy, I don't need Bella to break doctor-patient confidentiality to realize what kind of guy you are. You had your grimy hands all over me at that pub, and you made no secret as to what you were after."

"Rosalie!"

"No, Bella. This guy needs to be put in his place."

Edward's eyebrows shoot up, aside from that, his expression doesn't really change much. I expect sarcasm and arrogance, but this is something different. He looks hurt.

"Is that what you're doing, putting me in my place? If I recall correctly, you didn't mind me having my hands all over you, and while I made no secret of what I was after, you seemed all too ready, willing and able to go along with it."

"You jerk! I cannot…"

"Look," he pinches the bridge of his nose. I've come to learn that this is a precursor to him becoming angry. "I don't know what I did to offend you, or if I offended you, but if I did, I apologize. You're a beautiful woman, who I was attracted to, and you gave all the signs that you were willing, and that's the gist of it. We're here for another reason, so as doctors can we just co-exist and enjoy the weekend?"

Rosalie and I look at each other. She looks back at him and blinks slowly, waiting for him to say more, but he just fixes us with a steady gaze.

"We can co-exist, just as long as you know not to cross any lines." Rosalie practically commands.

"And what lines might they be?"

"The lines you cross when there is a beautiful woman, who you are attracted to, involved; if I'm quoting you correctly, Doctor Masen," she gestures to me.

_Jesus! She's really on a roll._

He looks at me and shakes his head in disbelief.

I don't know what to say. Rosalie has said it all, and I don't even know exactly what has her so riled.

"Unbelievable," he scoffs and walks away.

"Edward…" I try calling after him to apologize, but he doesn't answer.

"What the hell was that, Rose?"

"You tell me, Bella?" she snorts. "What's going on between you and that guy?"

"Going on…wha…wait a minute, what?" I stammer.

"Any fool with two eyes can see that there is something going on between the two of you, and knowing what I know, I'm going to save you from making a huge mistake."

_What the hell is she talking about?_

"Ladies room, _now_, Rosalie Hale," I snap and pull her toward the restroom. I practically slam the door shut behind us.

"Let go of my arm, Bella." She yanks her arm away and spins around to face me.

"You want to explain what you meant by what you said back there?"

"Bella, before I came over, I could see that you were in an awkward situation with him."

"So what?"

"So what? You don't see it, do you?"

"See what, Rose? What are you talking about?"

"You don't see the way he looks at you? I noticed it right away. It was the same look he gave you that night at the pub. He wants you."

_Jesus Christ._

"He wants everybody, Rosalie, not just me."

"All the more reason for me to save you from him."

"I don't need you to save me from anything. I'm a grown woman!"

"Has he ever hit on you?"

My mouth opens and closes repeatedly. How do I respond to that?

_Yes. He's expressed thoughts of wanting to fuck me on my desk and up against a window. No, definitely can't respond to that._

"That's what I thought. I'm justified." She turns to walk out of the door, but I pull her back.

"How does he look at me?"

"Oh. My. God!" she gasps.

"Just answer the damned question, Rosalie." I roll my eyes in frustration.

"He looks at you like you're his salvation, like he wants you to see the good in him; like you're the _one_, Bella!"

"You can tell all of that from just today?" I scrunch my face in confusion.

"Yes, I can, and you better be careful, because he's an opportunist, and men like him will ruin you, and don't think for a second that I forgot about all that 'hypothetical' bullshit. Can we go back to the conference now?"

I release her arm, and she leaves the restroom with me still standing there bewildered.

_He thinks I'm his salvation? _


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 13

I feel totally drained and agitated after a long, yet educating day. I'm always amazed at the dedication and wonderful work that happens in every area of medical science and treatment. I feel humbled by some of the achievements that have been tabled during today's sessions. And rattling around amongst all the new and sometimes complex information that I've absorbed are Rosalie' words. I can't forget her observations and my thoughts have constantly turned to Edward Masen and the hurt expression on his face not only at Rosalie' words but also when he revealed the details of his son's death.

As soon as she walks in, my mom looks at me with a furrowed brow. I knew that she'd pick up on my mood immediately. I've never been able to hide anything from her.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?" she pulls a chair up next to where I'm sitting, stuffing my face with Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.

"Who says something's wrong?"

"Well, that pint of half-eaten Chunky Monkey tells me a lot is wrong. Hand me a spoon."

I reach into the drawer and pull out a spoon and hand it over.

"Its work related. I have a, or I_ had_ a difficult patient."

"And this patient has caused you to dive head-first into a gallon of ice cream? Must be some piece of work."

_That's putting it mildly._

"I just feel like I haven't done enough. Our last session didn't go well, and I feel like I've failed somehow."

"I don't believe that. I didn't raise a failure, but if you feel like there is more you can do to help this patient then I know that you will."

_Would she say that if she knew Edward Masen?_

"Thanks for believing in me, Mom."

"Anytime, Sweet Pea. Oh! I have to show you the accessories I chose to go with your dress!" She jumps up to retrieve her shopping bags.

"Mom, you didn't spend a lot of money, did you?"

"Nonsense, of _course _I did. It's not often I get to spoil my daughter so, when there's an opportunity you can bet I'm taking advantage of it."

I'm not about to argue. After all, she does have great taste.

"Jacob will be accompanying you to the dinner, I assume?"

"Accompanying?" I chuckle. "Yes, Mom, Jake will be accompanying me."

"Oh, goody! This will be just like prom night. I'll be right back. I left a bag in the car." Her excitement is infectious, and as always, I find sharing things with my mother, lightens my mood.

I'm feeling a little apprehensive about going. Edward will be there, and I'm not sure which Edward will be showing up. It really doesn't matter, I tell myself. I'll steer clear of whichever persona he chooses to portray this evening.

.

.

.

I'm having the hardest time getting into my dress, and Jake is more than willing to help.

"Damn! This dress…." He whistles his approval, and his eyes, soon followed by his hands, caress my body. "There are absolutely no words to describe the way you look," he extols as he zips the back of my flesh-toned, gold embellished gown.

It's a one-shouldered dress with a high split on the side. My mother bought me simple diamond stud earrings and a tennis bracelet to match. She's twisted my hair up into an elegant, but simple chignon, and even if I say so myself, it really enhances my look.

"You look amazingly handsome yourself and thank you."

"You think your parents will upset if we don't make it home tonight?" His hands slide around my mid-section as he pulls himself flush against me.

"I don't think they will be. What did you have in mind?"

"It's a surprise." He whispers, as he nuzzles my neck.

"I hate surprises," my eyes flutter closed when his lips start to caress my skin.

"No, you don't. You just hate not being in control of things. Let's go." He playfully swats my ass.

"Fine, but you're going to pay for teasing later." I hold on to his shoulder to balance myself while I slip on my heels.

Despite it being a warm night, I can smell the rain in the air and am a little worried. I'm hoping to get inside unscathed with both dress and hair in place before the weather breaks.

The valet immediately gives Jake a ticket and moves to park the car, allowing us to make our way inside promptly.

We see Rosalie the instant we walk through the door. It's hard not to notice her. She's wearing a satin, form hugging dress colored the shade of molten, hot lava with matching lipstick. Her luminous blond hair makes her stand out all the more.

'Wow, Rosalie looks amazing. Are you _sure _she wouldn't be a good match for my cousin?"

I consider it briefly and quickly expel the idea. After witnessing her rip Edward a new one earlier, I know that it's a bad idea."

"I love Rose to death; the question is how much do you love your cousin?"

"Point taken. Let's find a table," he answers unhesitatingly.

We laugh and walk arm-in-arm to the table where Rose is standing.

"Oh, don't you two look amazing. Hi, Jake." She kisses my cheek and gives him a brief hug.

"Hey, Rose. You look beautiful, as always." Jake compliments.

"Trying to set off the fire alarms, I see."

"What...in this old thing?" She giggles and twirls a little.

"Yes! That old thing, Rose, you look…I don't know…I'm at a loss. I was sure you would rustle up someone to escort you to this thing, though."

"You don't bring sand to the beach, Doctor Swan, or in your case maybe you do. No offense, Jake."

"None taken. I'm happy to be sand," he jokes and pulls out my chair.

"Well, good luck with that, honey. Half this beach is married anyway," I laugh as she glares at me.

_That ought to put a pin in her balloon._

Jake manages to convince me to dance. Normally, I'm not comfortable with being the center of attention on a dance floor, but he's being wonderful, and I can't resist him.

"What's the surprise later?"

"You are too much, you know that? I'm not going to tell you, so give it up."

"Can you at least give me a hint?"

"Okay, let's just say it's going to change our future…for the better. That's all I'm saying, Swan." He leans down and kisses me deeply, before playfully twirling me around.

I squeal and bump into the couple dancing behind us.

"We're sorry… got a little ambitious with the spin," Jake apologizes.

"I'm so sorry," I giggle and turn to apologize as well and am met with a familiar pair of intense, green eyes.

"No apologies necessary. I'm glad you're enjoying the evening," Edward smiles and stares at me intently. He's dancing with a very attractive, older woman. I assume that she's too old for his…_taste_, but who can be sure with him.

We turn back to our respective partners, but Edward's eyes are locked on mine the entire time. I guess I wouldn't know this if wasn't looking at him as well. The truth is; I can't seem to avert my eyes from his.

I thought I could handle whatever mood this man throws at me, but for some reason, I sense a seismic shift between us. I could handle the womanizing and the flirting, but I can't seem to wrap my mind around his near- silent behavior. I guess I half-expected for him to not even respect the fact that I'm here with a date.

_What is he thinking?_

The song ends and we return to our tables. Champagne and hors d'oeuvres are being served and the entire dance floor clears. A young woman walks out to the middle of the floor, subtly vying for everyone's attention.

She goes on to explain the DW&D auction and advises that this year there'll be a twist. Instead of just bidding on doctors, anyone, and in this instance, that would mean partners of doctors and other medical staff are allowed to participate. I assume that the widened interest and increased participants would raise more money for the fund.

Cheers and whistles erupt as the attendees rowdily endorse the new rules. The noise dies down, and she directs everyone as to the auction registration table.

"This should be fun. Are you going to sign up?" Jake turns to me with a devilish grin.

"Absolutely, positively, not."

"Aw come on! It'll be fun. I'll bid ridiculously high."

"I'm a sure thing for you, Jake. You don't have to spend obscene amounts of money for my company. Just cut through the red tape and donate a substantial amount anonymously or something."

"Fine, you chicken. I'll go and make a donation right now. I also see a client of mine I want to say hello to. I'll be back soon." He pecks my lips and weaves his way through tables.

I sigh contentedly, knowing that I've averted participating in the auction. I'll make a donation as well, sit back and simply enjoy the event.

"Did you see you Tanya? She's has her eye on your Doctor Masen?" Rosalie slinks back into her chair.

"He is _not_ my Doctor Masen. Cut it out, Rose. I mean it, I don't want Jake walking up overhearing one of those ridiculous statements. Things are perfect right now."

"You both look sickeningly happy. I'm thrilled for the pair of you."

"Are you truly, or is this sarcasm?"

"Seriously, I am. Jake is a good guy and gorgeous, sexy as hell even. You deserve to be happy, Bella"

"I think he's going to propose," I blurt out.

Her mouth drops open, then a wide smile spreads across her face. "Are you sure? Oh my God, what are you going to say?"

"Shh! Here he comes. I'll talk to you about it later," I whisper in a rush.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if Jake is going to propose. He's acting cryptically about his plans. His vague inference on the dance floor seems like an indication, but I hadn't imagined when we agreed to take a vacation together that it would end up in an engagement.

I look over at him, smiling at me. His hand covers mine on the table, absentmindedly stroking my ring finger with his thumb. Panic shoots through me.

_Am I ready to be someone's wife?_

The hostess walks back out to the middle of the floor, again seeking everyone's attention.

"Good evening…again," she laughs. "I just want to thank everyone for their enthusiastic participation in year's auction. Wow! I had no idea I would get so many volunteers. Since we have more than enough, I'm going to randomly choose names from the new list and combine them with our regular volunteers. If I call your name, please join me up on stage."

"Here we go. This is going to be good," Rosalie squeaks.

"Doctor Mara McKenna…Doctor Carol Brady…Doctor Benjamin Smith…."

The hostess continues calling names as the nominees join her on stage. I can't help thinking how embarrassing it must be to stand up there, while being bid on by strangers. I snort at the thought.

_More power to them!_

"Doctor Isabella Swan…."

_What?_

"That concludes the list for the volunteers. I'll see you all in a moment to start the auction."

My eyes bug out, I'm practically gaping as I look around the room.

_Who the hell put my name on that list?_

"Oh, this is going to be epic." Jake laughs uncontrollably.

"You did this! Jake…I'm going to murder you!" I hiss.

"It wasn't me." He holds up his hands in surrender. "I swear it."

I'm helplessly looking around the room, waiting for someone to jump out and yell 'you've just been punked'. I turn my eyes to on an amused, blonde in a devilishly inspired dress, who's incapable of successfully hiding her guilt.

"You!"

"Now come on, Bella. It'll be a hoot. Jake and I will have your back."

"I'm still waiting on Doctor Isabella Swan," the announcer calls, looking out into the crowd. Hundreds of people turn to join the search.

"Goddamn it, Rosalie," I grit through clenched teeth, as I finally make my way through a crowd of cheering people.

_She'll pay for this!_

_._

_._

_._

"Good evening Doctor Masen. You look incredibly handsome, as always."

I turn to see Gianna, hostess of the weekend's events, smiling up at me.

"Hello, Gianna, and thank you. That's a beautiful color dress, you look stunning."

She ducks her head and blushes. She's sweet girl, reminds me of a someone's little sister. Surely my own would take offense to that if heard.

Her father is the Chief of Staff at a major Los Angeles hospital, which no doubt aided her in gaining the role of event planner.

"Well…they're beckoning me to get the events underway. I hope you'll enjoy the evening?"

"I always do, Gianna. Is your father here? I want to congratulate him on Mater General's ranking."

"Daddy couldn't make it, but my mom's here, she'd love to see you. I'll talk to you later, Doctor Masen."

Normally, I'd be right into this event, but tonight I found myself wishing for it to be over as almost soon as it had started.

Seeing Mike Newton's face everywhere I turn has already irritated me. Realizing that Bella is here intensifies my mood to the extreme.

I don't know why I had not considered her attendance, she is a doctor, after all, and she's just as dedicated to keeping abreast of advancements as I am.

Given our last exchange, she completely surprised me by approaching me first. I really hadn't expected to see her again after our last encounter. For a moment, when I saw her face, unbelievable excitement coursed through me; but it remained brief. The blonde made sure of that.

She really pissed me off, fucking up my whole mental state for the weekend. As if it wasn't bad enough that Bella already thought of me as shit, she has her friend endorsing those feelings as well.

After the blonde, Rosalie, read me the riot act, I left the venue, and headed straight for my hotel room. I spent the night alone, mulling over the things she'd said, and the venom Bella had spat, literally labeling me as a man with no moral principles. 'Fuck these women', I'd concluded. I've never given a damn what any of them thought of me before, and I'm not about to change that. This revelation, of course, finally came after consuming half a bottle of vodka.

In the past, weekends like this had presented the perfect opportunity for me to hook-up with some gorgeous woman; but not this year.

My marriage is ending, and ironically, I have it bad for the woman who's been trying to stop its demise. My life, right now, feels like a complicated, unsolvable puzzle.

After the run-in with Bella's friend, I was seriously thinking about returning home, but I ran into Mike Newton on the golf course earlier today. His shit talking changed my mind once again.

Now, here I stand, in the middle of the banquet dinner, alone and cursing myself for allowing that stuffed shirt to get under my skin.

I take a deep breath and convince myself to make the best of the night. I notice someone I haven't seen in a long while.

I place a hand gently on her shoulder just as the music starts up. "Would your husband mind?" I gesture to the dance floor as she turns to face me.

"If he'd mind, then he should've been here. How are you, Edward?" she laughs lightly and takes my hand.

"I'm doing well, Mrs. Ambrosini, can't complain too much."

"Speaking of missing parties, where is your father? I thought he was speaking this weekend?"

"Well, he had an emergency consult, but he sent his apologies with a generous donation. I presented Gianna with the check yesterday."

"Be sure and thank him for me. My daughter's put so much work into organizing the events for this weekend. Her father and I are so proud of her."

"As you should be. She's a lovely young woman." I twirl her away from me.

"That reminds me, where is _your_ lovely wife?"

"She had a family matter to attend to," I lie quickly and twirl her back toward me, and a couple knocks into us from behind.

Wide almond-shaped, amber eyes and a magical sounding giggle steal my attention. Some obviously good-looking guy is spinning Bella around the floor.

The blood in my veins turns to ice, but I keep a gentleman-like composure as they apologize.

I don't want either of their apologies. I want that guy to let her go.

My anger flares when his lips touch her skin.

I want to be the one she laughs with that way. I want her in _my_ arms. I want to rearrange that guy's perfect teeth. I want to get far away from them, fast, before I do something I'll regret.

When our dance ends, I walk over to a waiter and grab a glass of champagne. I drink it, keeping her in my sight.

_Who the fuck is that jerk-off?_

I watch as they walk back to their table, hand in hand.

Gianna announces the start of the auction proceedings. I'm really not in the mood for this right now, I have to find out who the guy with Bella is, and just how serious things are between them.

I look on as people line up to sign up for the auction. I decide that I'd wait until things die down a bit before adding my name.

I snack on hors d'oeuvres and idly watch proceedings as Gianna calls the names of the volunteers. I'm shocked from my reverie when Gianna calls Bella's name… more than once.

I pause with the glass tipped to my mouth and smirk.

I just know she wouldn't have signed up of her own accord. Her look of abject horror confirms my suspicions. This is going to be priceless.

"Doctor Masen, I don't see your name on the list of regulars. Will you be participating in the auction this year? We always raise a lot of money on you."

"Uh, no, Gianna. I uh…" I look at Bella onstage and grin wickedly. "I'll be participating in the actual bidding this time around. It should be fun, don't you think?"

"It should definitely prove to be enjoyable, but we're going to lose out on so much if you're not bid on. You're always the favorite Doc to bid on," she whines.

"Listen, don't worry about anything. I'll make a substantial donation, and as far as the auction goes…." I look back at the stage. "I plan on bidding high. Your goal will be met. Trust me.

.

.

.

I feel like a piece of meat. I've never been overly introverted or thought of myself as a person who could not participate in fun, but right now, I want to slink deep into the back of this stage behind those curtains and disappear.

I keep reassuring myself that it would be over soon. I look over at Jake and Rosalie, wishing I were close enough to convey my venomous thoughts with a glance. My plans for revenge, however, are curtailed by the dreaded announcement.

"This is the gorgeous Doctor Isabella Swan. She graduated summa cum laude from Johns Hopkins University and specializes in marriage therapy. How ironic, ladies. Normally she counsels for healthy, stable marriages, today she's here to steal your husbands away! Let's hear it for Dr. Isabella Swan!"

The crowd whistles, my cheeks burn and my heart palpitates. _Kill. Me. Now!_

"The bidding will start at five hundred dollars."

"Five hundred." Jake lifts his paddle immediately.

"We have five hundred. Do I hear six hundred?"

"Six." Rosalie calls out, nearly overcome by giggles.

I'll strangle her with her own hair when I get off this stage.

"Six hundred. How about seven hundred?"

"Seven." Jake lifts his paddle again and waves to me with it.

"Eight hundred." An elderly man from the middle of the floor says, before the hostess has a chance to up the bid.

_Oh my God._

My face is on fire and not from blushing, as I watch Rosalie throw her head back with laughter.

_That bitch! Karma, Rosalie Hale...it's coming._

"Two thousand." A velvet-like voice interjects smoothly. All heads spin around.

My mouth drops as I realize who just bid.

_That bastard! _

"Wow, two thousand dollars for Doctor Isabella Swan! Can I get a round of applause? This is how we have an auction!" Gianna yells out gleefully.

"Three thousand." Jake holds his paddle aloft.

"Three thousand, boy, looks like we have a bidding war on our hands!"

"Five thousand."

_Shit!_

Muttering ripples through the room like a wave, and the combination of the onstage lights and the scrutiny from the floor is making me feel distinctly uncomfortable. I feel like a prize heifer at a cattle auction.

_Damn you, Edward Masen, stop this!_

Rosalie spins around, gaping then whispers in Jake's ear.

"Ten thousand dollars." Jake raises his paddle and stands determinedly, straightening his jacket. His movement is precise and business-like; I've witnessed the same demeanor in court. He's going in for the kill, expecting a win.

"Ten thousand dollars!" The hostess yells into the microphone, and the room erupts into rousing applause.

"Ten thousand going once…twice…"

"Twenty thousand dollars." Edward says coolly, and now people are standing up to get a better look at him and Jake. The spotlight, which is always kept on the last bidder, creates a halo around him, creating an illusion of a dark, avenging Angel.

My face feels frozen in shock. Rosalie' expression mirrors mine and Jake is livid.

"Oh my gosh! Twenty thousand going once, twice…."

Jake reluctantly sits down.

"Sold!"


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 14

He sits across from me in silence. I'm fuming. I can't believe he spent twenty thousand dollars just to have dinner with me.

_Show off._

"Twenty thousand, for dinner, really, Edward?"

"Twenty thousand for a Doctors' Wine and Dine dinner," he corrects.

I roll my eyes.

Jake finally comes over. This night can't get much worse.

"Hi, I'm Jacob Black, the obvious loser in this auction. Congratulations." He extends his hand to Edward.

"Thank you…Edward Masen." He reciprocates coolly.

An awkward silence falls as it becomes obvious to Jake that Edward doesn't welcome his presence. He narrows his eyes briefly, and Edward returns his gaze indifferently, one eyebrow infinitesimally raised. Jake turns his attention to me.

"Anyway, I came to see if you're all right and to apologize for dropping out of the race." He smiles apologetically.

"It's fine, Jake. I'm fine."

"After all, it is for a good cause. Twenty thousand dollars is a lot of money." He reaches down and strokes my cheek.

Edward blinks at me, a slight frown marring his brow.

"Why _did_ you drop out of the bidding, Jacob…I'm just curious."

I purposely adjust my leg under the table and smile as my stiletto-clad foot makes satisfying contact with his shin. He grimaces slightly, but makes no other response.

"Well, my initial thought was to match your bid, but we could have been at war all night, it seems, and I have other plans." He lovingly takes hold of my chin. "It was good to let it end. Everybody wins."

"I guess that's true, although, I'm feeling a little guilty about leaving you dateless for the rest of the evening." Edward's eyes twinkle with amusement.

I try to kick him again, but he traps my foot in-between his legs and smiles, as he bites his bottom lip.

_Sneaky son of a bitch!_

"Yeah…that's a bummer," Jake sighs, feigning disappointment. "But _I_ am the one she'll be leaving with at the end of the night. Enjoy your dinner, sweetheart." He leans down and tips my chin up to meet his lips. He kisses me deeply, making sure that Edward catches the entire show.

I can feel the tension in his body before he finally releases my foot.

"Get your money's worth." Jake claps Edward not so gently on the back and walks away.

"I plan on it." Edward replies over his shoulder.

Jake can be as arrogant as Edward when he wants to be, but he's totally oblivious to what's really going on.

"So…Jacob Black." He snorts.

"Shut up, Edward."

"He's the boyfriend, huh?"

"Yes. he is, and I'm not about to discuss him with you," I spit.

"Why are you so angry at me?"

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm not. The way I see it, I'm the one who should be pissed at _you_,".

"And why is that? You know what…never mind, forget I asked. Let's just stick to the rules of this dinner, and get it over with, shall we?" I pick up the glass of champagne in front of me.

"Fine. What are you expecting out of this tonight?" He seems thoroughly amused by the situation. At least the old Edward is back, and I know how to deal with him.

"You tell me. You're the one who bid on me. What do _you_ want?"

I immediately regret asking it.

He looks down at the table, and his expression falls. "That's a loaded question, but I'll settle for us having a normal dinner; treat one another like human beings, no fighting, engage in civil conversation."

Rosalie is desperately trying to get my attention. She's practically hopping up and down, mouthing and pointing. I follow the direction of her finger and see that she's gesturing at Jake and Tanya. They're talking at the bar. I guess Rosalie assumes that I'll be jealous, but I'm not. I don't feel threatened by Tanya. I turn my attention back to an actual problem that I need to deal with.

"I can do that."

.

.

.

Sometime later, and we're talking and laughing comfortably as if it's perfectly normal for us to interact in this way. I'm sure that the champagne consumption is playing a vital role in our level of comfort.

"So, you're telling me that Titanic is your favorite movie?" I break into a fit of giggles.

"What? Yes, it's my favorite movie. Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, no. I'm just a little surprised, that's all." I explain when I realize that I may've offended him by laughing.

"What, a man can't like a romantic movie?" He questions in amusement.

"Seriously, I just assumed that men enjoyed Rambo or X-Men, things of that nature, or maybe in your case; Sex, Lies and Videotape." I smirk sarcastically.

"Oh, I get it. That's hitting below the belt, too." He chortles, "Wait, there's a movie called that?"

"Oh God," I deadpan with laughter.

"What if I told you that I'm a complete and hopeless romantic?"

"Videotaping is romantic?"

"Holy hell," he mutters to himself as he rubs his forehead in obvious frustration. "Alright, let's just clear this whole videotaping thing up right now. I like sex, _love_ sex. Videotaping is just a heightened form of sexual pleasure, Bella, just like having your neck kissed, an exotic massage, toes sucked, whatever turns you on."

I raise both eyebrows.

"I've never forced any woman I've been with into it. They were all willing parties; hell, most of them suggested it. Isn't there anything specific that you like during sex?"

I'm about stop this inappropriate discussion, but he cuts me off.

"Of course, there is. Look at you," he leans over, placing both of his elbows on the table. He looks me directly in the eye, and his voice drops.

"I know_ exactly_ what you like…gentle kisses just below the earlobe, strong hands twisted in your hair. You're not the shy, quiet type, so you probably like it rough, not so rough that it will leave marks, but just enough to make you scream, possibly bite to muffle those screams. You'll do _that_ just so your partner doesn't know how kinky you really are. You like when a man talks dirty in your ear while he's taking you from behind, don't you?"

It's as if the entire moment freezes in time, while that question lingers in the air. No longer can I hear distant chatter and laughter form the crowd just mere feet away. Cheesy band music is long forgotten, as his gaze, captures and penetrates my eyes.

"I know what you're doing."

I try to stop his attempt at a table seduction, but his words leave a sting. I can mask my feeling externally, but deep down inside, it stings.

"You probably like to watch. Am I close to being correct?"

"That's enough, Edward. I'm not having this conversation with you."

He nods, looking satisfied, smirks and leans back in his chair. "Then back to my original question. What if I told you that I'm a complete and hopeless romantic?" His voice is completely normal, giving no indication that he'd just described a porn scene, with me as it's star.

"I would probably say actions speak louder than words."

"Are you asking me to show you?" His brows lift challengingly.

He's waiting for an answer. This conversation is veering in an uncomfortable direction. Edward talking about sex and being an asshole is normal, but romance? That is a different subject all together.

"That's not what I mean," I divert my eyes.

"Why did you call me a man-whore?"

"What? I never called you…" My head whips around, his question throwing me completely off.

"The other day, in your office," he elaborates.

"I–I…."

"Is that really how you see me?".

"It's all you've shown," I murmur.

He nods in understanding. "Maybe, but there's a lot more to me."

I watch as he breaks eye contact and fiddles with his dinner napkin. He seems to have much more to say, but is fighting it.

"I'm sorry about your son." I blurt out softly.

His head snaps up, and I see his jaw clenching repeatedly. He looks like he's getting upset, and I don't want that, so I choose to elaborate.

"I didn't get a chance to say that when you were in my office, so I'm saying it now."

"Thank you." His says sharply.

He looks sad. The subject is obviously still very painful to him.

_Of course, it is. Stupid, Bella._

It truly wasn't my intention to make him feel that way. Now _I_ feel like shit.

"Spill your guts."

"Um…what?"

"I can see that you're mulling things around in that beautiful head of yours. Go ahead…ask me anything. We have at least two hours together, according to the rules." He slides his tux sleeve up and checks his watch.

Can I resist this; full access to this man's thoughts and what makes him tick? I must admit I've been intrigued since the day he walked into my office. I've been trying to get him to open up to me, so I can get some clarity as to why he is the way he is, but he's always shut me down. I want to know what makes him treat his wife, and women generally, the way he does.

He's put up a wall, that part I'm sure of, a very expertly constructed wall, the kind that takes years to build. But I want to know the reason for its construction. Now, unexpectedly, he's giving me carte blanche to the most personal part of himself, his mind.

"I can ask you anything?" I sit back in my chair and fold my hands on the table, the therapist in me emerges, and I can tell he recognizes it as well.

I carefully review the questions in my mind I've wanted to ask him. This is not the right place or time for this, but he's giving me an opportunity that he may never offer again. But why do I care? He's no longer my patient.

"Why now?" Of all the questions I have, at this moment, this is the one that is off the top of my mind.

"Why not now?" His eyes are hard and serious.

"Because this is neither the time nor the place. There are hundreds of people here, a band playing, and we've both consumed too much alcohol."

He throws back his head and laughs. "Are you implying that I'm too drunk to answer some questions, or that you're too drunk to ask the right ones?"

"I'm not drunk, but I'm not lucid enough to deal with you." His eyebrows shoot up in amusement.

"Deal with me?"

"You know what I mean." I wave him off. "You don't have to sit there pretending to be proper just because you're wearing an Armani suit."

"It's Brioni."

"Whatever."

The effects of the champagne have made me bolder than usual. I feel slightly lightheaded. I brush some loose strands of hair from my face and fan myself lightly.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Stop acting like you're a gentleman too. It takes more than a tux to make a real man."

"You don't say." He bites his bottom lip and smirks. "What does it take? I'm curious."

"You're not cute, by the way, so stop looking at me like that."

_Lie number one._

"And you don't look _that_ hot in that suit."

_Lie number two._

"And if you think you're getting anything other than dinner out of tonight, you'd better think again."

His smile widens.

"What's so damned funny?"

"I was just thinking that's all, a little observation."

I glare at him; peeved at the fact he thinks I'm some sort of entertainment.

"I was just thinking…you ought to get drunk more often. God only knows what you might reveal."

"I'm not drunk."

_Lies, lies, lies._

"Look, Edward, if you're truly serious about this, then we can set up something for when we get back to Chicago; first thing."

"Oh, I am serious, and I'm going to hold you to that; first thing back in Chicago." He rocks back in his chair and takes another sip of champagne.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm extending myself to him like this, nor am I sure of why he is, but he's reaching out, in his own way, and as a doctor I can't turn my back on him.

.

.

.

The fundraising dinner is over and everyone's pouring out of the banquet hall, thrilled that they were able to exceed their monetary goal.

Edward and I have gone our separate ways after scheduling a session for our first day back. That should be enlightening. I pray that he doesn't completely drain me.

Jake and I finally meet up after I see Rosalie off. She, ironically, agrees to have drinks with Tanya since I have plans with Jake. Like I said, they have a love-hate relationship. I guess Rosalie is feeling the love tonight.

We drive to a beautiful, four-diamond hotel in downtown Miami. That same panicky feeling I had earlier returns.

He checks us in, and we ride the elevator to the penthouse floor, holding hands the entire way. He's silent, a happy look on his face.

We step into the luxurious penthouse suite. I gasp when I see the masses of roses arranged in crystal vases around the room.

"To avoid getting it wrong, I just bought every damned kind and color rose known to man," he shrugs.

"It's perfect." I smile and pull him into a passionate kiss.

.

.

.

"Mmm, that feels nice." I purr, as he combs his fingers through my hair. We're twisted in the sheets, our skin dampened and breathing labored.

"It can be like this every day, if you want it, Bella, if you're ready," he whispers.

"What exactly, are you saying, Jake?" I momentarily stop running my fingers through the soft hair on his abdomen.

"I'm saying the sky is the limit for us, Bella. We can have everything we want."

He leans over to retrieve something from beside the bed.

"Bella, look at me."

I raise my head and follow his eyes to the diamond ring he holds between his thumb and index finger.

I gasp and sit up so I can catch my breath properly. My voice is stuck in my throat.

"Say something."

"It's…it's pretty, gorgeous actually."

"Gorgeous enough for you to say yes?"

"Yes, to what?" I ask breathlessly.

He tips my chin, drawing my gaze away from the ring. "Say yes to marrying me. Will you be my wife, Bella?"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 15

"Where's Jake, Sweet Pea?" My mom asks as I walk through the door.

"Oh…um, he had to leave. There's an emergency back home with one of his cases. He had to catch a red-eye."

"Aw, that's too bad. He works too much."

"The life of a successful lawyer," I sigh, chewing on my thumbnail.

"I guess so. Anyhow, how did the banquet go?"

"Oh…it was really….fun. We had a good time."

"Okay, you've barely said anything without being prompted, and you're staring off into space, chewing your nail like it's your last me… Oh my God! Is that what I think it is?" She grabs my hand and runs her thumb across the base of my ring finger.

"Um…."

"This is an engagement ring," she gasps. "You're getting married?"

"Um…yes, it looks like it." I chuckle nervously.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so happy for you! Charlie!" She yells up the stairs.

She squeezes me so hard, I think I'll pop. She's so excited that I don't have the heart to tell her the truth.

"Mom…um…I just remembered I have to go back to the hotel. We were having breakfast when he got the call about work and had to rush to catch his flight. We didn't get a chance to checkout properly. I need to settle the bill." I have get out of the house before my father joins in, and I'm forced to tell another lie.

"But you just got here, and I'm sure you can call them and settle the bill over the phone, Bella"

"I know, but we left some items there that I need to pick up as well. I'll be back a little later."

"All right, Sweetheart," she says dejectedly as my dad comes down the stairs.

"What's all the screeching about?"

"I'll tell you all about it when I get back, Dad." I wordlessly beseech my mom not to mention a thing. I know she'll understand.

I hop into the rental car that Jake left behind. I have to find a place where I can quietly think about the last twelve hours.

When I first suspected what Jake was planning, I had misgivings, I even felt panic, but he erased those when he proposed, only to recreate the same feelings. I want to fucking kill him when I think about our morning.

_He's made yet another grand gesture by ordering every item on the breakfast menu to be served on the patio._

_He watches me intently, a wide smile almost permanently etched onto his face._

"_Pick a date."_

_I put down my orange juice and frown at him._

"_We just got engaged. What's the rush? I need time to tell my parents, and you know I want a huge wedding, so I won'__t __be rushing. I plan on spending all of your money on my dream wedding, Jacob Black," I joke and reach across the table to feed him a piece of melon off my fork._

"_Okay…fine," he mumbles with his mouth full. "I just want to be married to you as soon as possible."_

"_Don't worry. You have me, I'm not going anywhere." I slide off my chair and onto his lap. "In the meantime, we can still have some pre-marital fun." I run kisses down his neck and slowly move down his bare chest. He hums his approval and twists his hand in my hair._

"_Pre-marital…is always fun."_

"_Mmmhmm."_

"_Especially, when there are three parties involved. I know the perfect person to join us."_

"_Excuse me, what the fuck did you just say?" I snap._

I grip my golf club and take a vicious swing at the ball, missing it altogether.

"Shit!"

It was foolish of me to think that coming to this place would put me in a better mood.

I take another swing, just skimming the top of the ball, only moving it a few inches.

"Goddamn it!"

"Need some help there?"

I look up in surprise, to see him looking like the picture-perfect golfer, white pants, navy blue polo shirt that hugs his biceps perfectly. He fastens his white, navy-trimmed golfing gloves as he approaches.

"Are you following me, now?"

"I've never stalked in my life. I'm actually an experienced, exceptional golfer; unlike some of us I can see," he teases.

I swing again and miss my mark entirely.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" I chop at the turf in frustration.

"Easy there, Happy Gilmore, they're going to fine you for that."

"Shut up, Edward." I plant my feet and rock back and forth slightly to settle myself. I look at the target and back down at the base of my club and swing, sending a chunk of grass, which he effortlessly dodges, flying toward him.

"Your form is all wrong."

"I swear if you say one more word, the next piece is coming right at your head," I spit out.

"No need for violence. Here, let me help you."

I didn't even realize that he's right behind me, until I feel his cool hands mine on my club. I begin to protest, but he cuts me off.

"Don't hunch over so much." His voice is low and smooth in my ear.

I glance at him over my shoulder and swallow hard before I straighten my position.

"Good, now spread your legs."

_Come again?_

I turn, and find myself eye-to-eye with him. My fingers are gripping the club so tightly that my hands are beginning to sweat.

"Just do it." His eyes roll dramatically, and I oblige. "Good girl," he praises.

"Release some of the tension in your fingers."

"Let yourself feel the power you have over it."

His eyes drop down to the base of the club, but I'm still looking at his concentrated expression, jaw clenching, eyebrows slightly knitted together.

"Do you feel that?"

I don't trust my voice, so I say nothing.

"Follow my movement," he says, and I do. He draws the club back and swings. We land a perfect hit, and it goes flying toward the green and lands next to the hole.

"Perfect shot," he whispers in my ear. "Now, go put her away."

He walks away to finish unloading his equipment. I blink at him, and he must sense me watching him.

"Are you going to do it anytime soon? I'd liked to get a couple of strokes in."

My eyebrows shoot up, and he looks at me over his shoulder, just as shocked. He smiles sheepishly and shakes his head, not bothering to amend himself. It's probably better that he doesn't.

.

.

.

"Thanks for the golf lesson," I say, before taking a bite of my chicken salad. He nods and takes a sip of his bottled water

"Anytime. I'm glad to know you don't think I was using it just for a chance to get close to you. And thank you for lunch, by the way."

"I don't think that, and it's the least I can do, given my behavior toward you last night and again today."

I decided that having wrongly taken my frustrations about my personal life out on him, the least I could do, is to offer him a meal as a thank you for putting up with it.

It's warm, yet a little breezy; perfect for lunching outside at the club.

"I actually kind of enjoyed last night's behavior," he laughs.

I roll my eyes, not able to hide the smile I'm trying hard to suppress.

"So…when's the wedding?" He clears his throat uncomfortably.

For a brief second, I think about asking how the hell he knows, but I realize I'm wearing the evidence on my finger. I'd forgotten I have it on.

"No date has been set," I don't bother to offer anything more.

"Do you love him?"

My eyes fly up to meet the green storm looking back at me.

"Did you love Lauren?" I bite back, not expecting him to answer, but rather to drop the subject altogether.

"At one point I did love her."

"And what happened?"

He lets out a deep sigh and looks away. He's still not comfortable with speaking about himself.

"You know what happened."

_So, I guess we're doing this today._

"So, you just stopped loving her because the two of you lost a child?"

"It's not that black and white."

I watch as he looks anywhere but at me. He pinches the bridge of his nose.

"You're getting annoyed."

His eyes return to mine, and he frowns.

"What? No…no I'm not getting annoyed. I'm just…"

"It wasn't a question, Edward. I'm familiar with almost every one of your quirks. I know when you're irritated. You pinch the bridge of your nose when you're getting annoyed. When you run your hand through your hair it's usually because you're nervous.".

"You think you have me all figured out," he smirks.

"And that…that right there…that smirk, is a clear sign of avoidance. So, why don't we just cut out all the quirks and get to root of the problem."

"Wow, just like that, huh? You want me to just give up all my secrets."

"Not all of them. We can start with a few."

"So, we're doing this now, not waiting for Chicago."

"When an opportunity presents itself, I was taught to jump on it."

I know there are a million and one comments he could make in response, and I'm glad he chooses to forgo any of them.

"What I said before is true. I fell in love with Lauren sometime later into our marriage, but she destroyed it with insecurities and the games she played."

"Do you think maybe she played games because she was insecure? Yes, it's a rhetorical question."

"So, you don't expect me to answer?" He knits his eyebrows together in confusion.

I think for a moment and realize that I do want hear what he has to say.

"I would like to hear an answer."

"Yes, I think she played games because she was insecure."

"All right then," I say pointedly.

"But…she has always played games because she was insecure. It wasn't anything new, and I wasn't the cause of it. It started before we were married. Hell, it started before the night we slept together." He adds a little more forcefully.

The waiter comes over to refresh our water glasses and asks if we need anything else. We both decline and sit in silence until he leaves.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't the womanizing and cheating play a part, if not the biggest part, in someone's insecurities?"

"Correct."

"Although it wouldn't be a correct observation in this situation." His elaboration is confusing, and I'm teetering on the brink of just telling him to forget this whole session, when he continues to explain.

"I didn't cheat on Lauren. Yes, I was in love with another woman when we first got together, but I never strayed. I realized that sleeping with Lauren and getting her pregnant was my responsibility. I knew I had a choice to make and Lauren and my son was it."

"Then you must have amnesia, because I clearly recall you admitting that you had sex with Irina at your wedding. That's cheating, Edward," I snap, and I realize that I'm not responding as a therapist.

He shakes his head and looks away. My words have once again hit their mark, but this time I didn't mean for them to come out the way they did.

"I think it's time to call it a day," he signals for the waiter and pulls out his credit card.

"Did you or did you not cheat on Lauren at your wedding, Edward?" My voice escalates somewhat.

"What the fuck do you think? Why are you asking me questions you already know the answers to?"

"Because you seem to have a mental block when it comes to this one particular subject. Are you going to tell me that it's not considered cheating because you were technically in love with another woman, that it didn't count? Or you were just getting it out of your system? As you put it the other day."

He runs his hand through his hair, and I recognize the sign right away.

_Nervousness._

"Why did you do that, Edward? Why would you cheat on your wife on your wedding day?"

"Because it wasn't supposed to be her! I wasn't supposed to be marrying _her!_ I knew it, and I just couldn't figure out how I'd gotten in that predicament. Fuck, Bella….I….I was wrong. I know that, but I couldn't say goodbye to her…Irina. I couldn't just walk away. I promised the woman I loved a future, and I had to rip it all away from her, because I knew I had to give my kid the best life I could; the kind of life my father gave me."

I silently watch as he unravels before me. This is hard for him, and I've never realized it until now.

"I couldn't be that selfish. I couldn't tell my parents. I couldn't go to them and say, '_Mom, Dad, good news, you're going to be grandparents, _oh,_ and by the way, Irina's not the one having the baby, it's Lauren,' _then only to further crush them by saying I couldn't marry Lauren and give our child a loving home, with two parents; because I was in love with another woman? They would've been disgusted with me. I was disgusted with myself for even considering it even for a brief moment."

"You considered not marrying, Lauren?"

"Hell yes, I considered it! Irina was so hurt when Lauren showed up with that pregnancy test. I spent weeks trying to convince her that we could make it work, but she couldn't accept that her best friend and the man she loved were having a child together. Then Lauren asked her to be her matron of honor. I couldn't believe it! It was like she was delusional. She didn't care at all that Irina was hurt, just that she finally had me."

"But…Irina agreed to be her maid of honor, right?" I ask, totally confused by it all.

"To this day, I can't tell you why she agreed to that. I think Lauren spun it to look like the victim. I don't know. All I know is, that on my wedding day, I felt claustrophobic. I just wanted to get the day over with. My parents were happy, Lauren's parents wanted to kill me. It was chaos. I disappeared into one of the rooms at the church to get some air, and that's when I ran into Irina. She was crying. She threw herself at me, hysterically pleading with me to leave with her so we could be together. I didn't know what to do. She kept asking me if I loved her, all the while tearing at my clothes, frantically, begging me to make love to her one last time, and I couldn't lie to her. I couldn't deny her. Her heart was being torn out, and it was my fault. I didn't know how to stop it…." He pauses and looks pointedly at me. "You know how the rest of the story turns out."

"I thought maybe you were embellishing at that session just to piss your wife off and to annoy me."

"No, it happened _just like that_," he scoffs, raising an eyebrow at me.

_So he did fuck the maid of honor on a chaise lounge in a church on his wedding day. Holy Moses!_

The waiter finally comes over and takes his card, and I stop him, handing him my card instead.

"Lunch is on me, remember."

The waiter looks to Edward for confirmation, and he reluctantly nods.

"So, why didn't you leave with Irina?"

"The baby."

"Let's just say for argument's sake that what happened at your wedding was a delicate situation. You made a mistake, but what about now; all the womanizing and cheating; and the tapes? Did Lauren deserve all of that just because she was the wrong woman?"

"Lauren and I were over, Bella," he sighs in exasperation.

"You were still married, Edward. It counts."

"We were over! And she knew it! There was nothing she could do to make me stay with her!"

"But you_ did_ stay with her." I correct.

"I meant _stay _with her." He air quotes. "I wasn't about to be faithful any longer, and let's get one thing straight, I stayed married to her because she was blackmailing me."

"She was using the videos to lock you into the marriage?"

"Yes, she was, until I no longer chose to be a slave to that. You can only threaten someone so many times with the same shit before it gets old. She fucked up, not once, but twice," he snaps, "firstly by what she did and secondly by telling me about it. We. Were. Over."

"Are you talking about the night she lost the baby? Edward, what did Lauren do? How did she mess up?" I ask, convinced there must be more to the story than just the loss of their child.

"No…I'm done with this right now. We did well today, right?" He stands up from his chair, looking down at me.

"Edward, wait," I stand up with him. "We're making progress. Please, I want to know more about what happened."

"All the bits and pieces, huh, Doctor Swan? The very last fig leaf plucked, leaving me naked for the world to see. That's what you want, isn't it?"

"Only you would refer to yourself as a cherub or Adam." I shake my head.

"A cherub, no, Adam maybe…now that was one stupid fucker, believing everything a woman told him. Women have all the power," he scoffs.

"Why do you say that?"

"They just do," he shrugs. "And correction, cherubs didn't wear fig leaves, Bella"

_What the hell does that have to do with anything?_

"I know this. You said naked for the world to see. That would be a cherub. Adam wore a fig leaf."

"Touché, Doctor Swan." He smiles in amusement.

"But why do you compare yourself to Adam?"

"Don't be such a shrink, Bella. It was just an expression. Let it go."

He's retreating, and I don't know how to bring him back into the session.

"Edward…."

"You looked so beautiful last night," he says softly, reaching out to brush away a strand of hair that's blowing around my face.

His hand is warm and gentle against my cheek. I duck my head subtly, trying to break contact, but it's too late to avoid the electric feeling that shoots through my body.

"Jacob, that's his name, right….does he have any idea how amazingly lucky he is?"

I pull his hand away from my face, feeling awkward that this moment seems to have turned into something more than an impromptu counseling session.

He holds on to my hand, holding it aloft to inspect the ring.

"Congratulations, Bella." He draws my hand to his mouth and presses his lips gently against the back of it before he turns and walks away, leaving me with my head reeling.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 16

We're leaving for home tomorrow, and my mother and I agree to a girls' day out with Rosalie and her mother. We meet up in the city at one of Miami's best pampering spas. Rosalie and her mother have opted for a body treatment, while Mom and I stay behind to have a coffee.

She's unusually quiet, I know that she doesn't want to badger me, but she _is _waiting for me to talk about the engagement. I haven't seen her since I left yesterday morning. After leaving Edward, I decided to go back to the hotel and stay the night. I just was not ready to face my parents.

"You didn't come home last night." She clears her throat as she peruses the menu.

"I know, Mom, I'm sorry about that. I did leave a message so that you and Dad wouldn't worry."

"Well, I did worry…I mean, you _are_ a grown woman, but I worry; and after you ran out on me yesterday, I _definitely_ worried. Is everything all right, Sweet Pea?"

"You want to know about the engagement," I exhale deeply.

"Well of course I do, you can't just get engaged, and not have me ask questions. Aren't you happy? Is this not what you want?"

"I'm… happy."

"Well, that doesn't sound very convincing, even if you do say it with that gorgeous smile your father has blessed you with. And Bella, I find it rather telling that you refer to it as _the _engagement, never my or our engagement."

My mother's always been so perceptive, even I had not picked up on that distinction… she's right, I view it as a thing apart, not something that should be relevant to me.

"It's just… I wasn't expecting Jake to propose so soon. My whole life is about to change, and I guess I'm a little uneasy about that, but I'm happy," I add reassuringly, though I feel as if I'm trying to reassure myself and not her.

"Change is a good thing, Bella, and Jacob is a good man; very respectful and cares about you tremendously. I can see the way he looks at you."

_Can you also see that good, respectful Jake is a pervert who wants to engage in threesomes with your little Sweet Pea, Mom?_

"Yes, he's something else," I say dryly. "It's just…Jake and I haven't been.,." I pause, searching for the proper words, "…connecting as much as we used to.

Her eyes narrow then widen, as she reaches some conclusion.

"Oh, Bella I understand. I really do, Sweetheart. You and Jake are young, attractive people, and of course it's hard sometimes to keep things… _interesting._"

"I'm not sure you understand what I'm talking about, Mom." I laugh sardonically. "Believe me."

"Sure, I do."

She leans over the table and whispers conspiratorially, "I know exactly what you mean, believe me. After some years together, sex can become boring… but there's so much you can do to spice things up. Sexy lingerie, toys…"

She leans back, reaches for her bag and starts rummaging through it, retrieving her purse, she removes a business card and hands it to me.

"_Femplay?_" I frown at her, holding the card gingerly.

"Yes. If you and Jacob are having problems connecting, maybe you should visit this online store and see what they have to offer" she smiles knowingly with raised brows.

"Mom!"

"What?"

"You…you. This is just…."

"Don't judge me. It's very interesting… and rewarding!"

"Where did you get this?"

"One of the ladies at my book club. We've been reading this very erotic book; anyway… she gave me the card so that I could learn more about it. I tried to get your father to have a look at the site with me, but you know how he is." She waves dismissively.

"Oh my God." I cover my face and shake my head. I'm mortified.

"Anyway, have a look at it. I can't wait to get started on planning the wedding. You're going to make such a beautiful bride, Sweat Pea," she squeals.

_Kill me now_

_._

_._

_.._

"Lunch was fun," Rosalie exaggerates, rolling her eyes.

"It wasn't that bad."

"It wasn't for _you_. My mom was like a terrier with a bone about my single state."

"She's just worried about you being alone, Rose." I swallow the contents in my drink.

Rosalie and I are extending the girls' day out into a girls' night out for the two of us.

"If that were true, then she wouldn't have reacted the way she did when I told her I was a lesbian."

"Why would you do that?" I frown. "It isn't true, I know you kissed Samantha in college, but that was just on some stupid drinking game dare."

We're at this popular, rather noisy and crowded club in South Beach. I'm a little out of my element in a place like this, but after everything that happened this weekend, I welcome the distraction.

"It was a test, but believe me if I thought spinsterhood was the only proverbial thorn in her side when it comes to my life, I'd simply ignore her nagging and prying."

"Spinsterhood," I scoff. "I should be so lucky. At least your mother didn't hand you a business card for an online sex store."

"What?" She shrieks and bursts into a fit of giggles. "Oh God, Renee is the best!"

I snack on appetizers while she laughs at my mortification. She composes herself with obvious effort and finally asks about the engagement.

"So, you're sporting a huge rock! How does it feel to say goodbye to the glory days of singledom?" She reaches for my hand to admire the ring.

"Feels wonderful. I need something a little stronger. Let's do shots I beckon one of the barmaids and order tequila, lime wedges and two shot glasses.

"Shots! Now you're talking, but I'm a little curious, what's brought on the urge to get plastered? I want to know everything about how Jake proposed."

I guess now is as good a time as any to confide in someone, and Rosalie will certainly understand. I look at the skimpily dressed women and eager men, bumping and grinding to the beat of the music.

_Wow, did I really let her talk me into coming to a place like this?_

Rosalie is staring at me impatiently, one eyebrow raised.

"Okay fine, so after we left the banquet, he took me to a penthouse suite at the Four Seasons. He had the place decked out with every color rose on the face of the planet…"

"Roses are good," she interrupts.

"The roses were beautiful," I shoot her a warning look.

"Okay, okay…. Four Seasons, roses, what else?"-

I sigh heavily. "We…. made love all night and sometime during that time he asked me to marry him, and I said yes."

"You make it sound so romantic," she mocks.

The barmaid returns with our order.

"It _was_ romantic," I say while filling both glasses, and passing one to her. She uses the saltshaker first then passes it to me

"One, two, three … go." We. chant in unison. We lick, swallow, bite and suck.

"Ugh." I grimace.

"You never could handle shots," she laughs.

"Shut up."

"So, finish. The proposal was ever so romantic, and you said yes..." She starts on her second shot.

"I said yes, and the next morning he got called back to Chicago for work."

"Ahhh, I see, so this is why you're acting like they cancelled your favorite sitcom." She slams back another shot and dramatically tosses her hair as she places her glass on the table. "Shit. That's three_."_

"Yup that's it," I lie.

"Mmhm." She glares at me skeptically, hazel eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing." I toss back another shot, my eyes screwed shut at the taste of the liquor. "Ugh!"

"Wait a second! We haven't spoken since the banquet. How did Jake react to Masen pulling the rug from under him at the auction?"

"How do you think? He was calm and cool; he was Jake, the typical lawyer." I hope it's the only question she has, but if I know Rosalie, she won't stop there.

"I couldn't believe he did that, twenty thousand dollars, Bella? He has it bad for you."

My thoughts instantly turn to the way he touched my face yesterday. I can still feel his warm, gentle fingers caressing my cheek like a feather. The memory of his warm body encasing mine as he draped himself over me while coaching me in golf; sends a familiar shiver down my spine. He smelled so good; a scent I can't yet describe. And the way his eyes blazed when he defended himself about the events in his marriage, still plagues me. He's hiding something and hurting on the inside.

I'd gain brief peeks into his true feelings, and then he'd purposely divert and distract me with a flirtatious or sexual remark or even action. What is he really hiding?

"Bella!" Rosalie snaps her fingers in my face.

"I'm sorry what did you say?"

"I asked you if Masen was being a prick?"

"No more than usual. Shall we not talk about Edward Masen, alright, Rosalie?"

I don't want to discuss Edward with Rosalie, and I certainly don't want her to pick up on my newly conflicted feelings.

"Alright." She reaches for her shot glass. "Woo! That's four."

After three shots I find myself outside trying to flag down a taxi. Rosalie has already left in one, she's pretty tanked after doing six shots, and so I thought it best that she took the first ride.

The tequila is slowly creeping up on me. I check my phone for the time and realize I shouldn't to go home to my parents and let them see me like this.

"Twelve forty-five," I scoff and run my hand through my hair. After being in the smoky, humid club it feels disgusting.

Eventually a cab pulls up.

"Where to?" The driver looks at me in the rearview mirror.

"The Four Seasons Hotel. I don't know the exact address. Do you know where it is?"

He nods and abruptly pulls away.

It would be too embarrassing to go back to my parents' home in this state. My dad would have a field day teasing me. Fortunately, the room at the Four Seasons has been paid for the rest of our stay in Miami.

I send my mom a text telling her that I'll be staying with Rosalie. After her worry last night, I don't want her to know that I've opted to be alone again. I also send Rosalie a text to see if she's made it home safely. She responds promptly, advising that she's home and puking her guts out every ten minutes. I smirk, knowing that her mother will give her shit about it later. It's just like our college days.

I slip off my heels in the elevator. "Damned tequila shots," I groan, suddenly feeling the after-effects of the alcohol.

"Where the hell is that damned key!" I growl quietly, as I struggle to find it in my bag.

Finally locating it, I open the door and toss my bag on the floor of the living room and grab a bottle of water from the minibar.

"Did you hear that?" A soft male voice startles me. It's coming from the bedroom area.

I look around wildly, thinking that somehow I'd entered the wrong room. The few familiar objects I see assures me that I haven't. An item, that to my knowledge had surely not been here when I left earlier, catches my eye. It's Jake's travel bag.

As I make my way to the bedroom, I hear scuffling. Before I can open the double doors, he emerges.

"Uh…Bella, Sweetheart, w-what are you doing here?"

"What am _I _doing here, what are _you _doing here? You got on a plane to Chicago yesterday morning, why didn't you let me know you were coming back"?

He quickly shuts the bedroom door and moves to embrace me.

"Who's in the bedroom, Jacob?"

"Wh-what? N-no one, baby." He reaches for me, and I back away.

"Do you think I'm stupid? You're jittery as hell, half-naked and obviously drenched in sweat, and I certainly heard more than your voice in there… and you have the audacity to say _no one, baby? _Who's in there, huh?"

"I'm not lying!"

"Get out of the way, Jake!"

"Bella, listen to me please…. you don't understand…" He tries to block me from entering. I tussle with him, trying to push him out of the way.

"You're right. I don't understand, but I'm sure I'll get some answers in there."

"Bella…" I somehow manage to get past and open the door.

She's holding her clothing up to her body.

"Bella, I... "

"Save it!" I hold up a hand, silencing her. "I don't want to hear anything you've got to say, Tanya."

I turn to look at Jake in disbelief. My mind can't process what's happening.

"Bella…." His expression is one of abject guilt and sorrow.

"Don't bother trying to explain. I mean, after all, this is my fault. You've told me on several occasions what it was you wanted; and I chose to ignore it, thinking that I would be enough for you."

"Bella, it's not like that, I swear."

"It's not? Were you not just fucking her in the bed you proposed to me in twenty-four hours ago? Did you not lie to me, telling me that you had to go _back to Chicago _on business, so that you could screw around with her behind my back?"

"I–"

"It's not a fucking question! I'm stating a fact!"

"Bella, this is not what you think. Jake assured me that this was what both of you wanted!" Tanya comes to stand in between us.

"He told you that? " I spin around to glare at him. "You told her that? You disgusting son of a bitch!"

"Bella no….!"

"Tanya, I'm going to give you three seconds to get out of my sight, after that I can't guarantee what I'd do." I point at the door, and she scrambles to get the rest of her things and rushes out.

"Now, Bella..." He protests as I advance on him.

"You told her that I wanted _this_?" I practically screech in mortification.

"I didn't mean for it to happen like this. I thought that you understood that I was yours now, and that you didn't have to worry about us experimenting and losing me in the process."

"What? I wasn't worried about losing you by experimenting, because I was never going to do it, Jacob. I told you on numerous occasions that if I wasn't enough for you, you were free to find someone who was. I'm not going to indulge in your sick, twisted fantasies."

"They're not sick and twisted! God, Bella isn't there anything special you like during sex?"

His words send my mind whirling back to when Edward had posed the same question. My anger reaches new heights.

"If another man says those words to me, I'll scratch his damned eyes out. Get out, Jake!" I push him out the door to the suite. My chest heaves, I feel unable to get my breathing under control.

_What the fuck just happened here?_

I lean up against the door and close my eyes, trying to process things.

"Bella!" He knocks frantically on the door. "Bella… come on, we didn't even do anything!"

He now relentlessly bangs on the door, pleading and calling my name. I'm sure the other guests on this floor will be reporting this.

"Bella! Fuck, can you at least throw me my clothes? I can't go anywhere like this!"

I stomp across the room, snatching his pants from the bedroom and his bag from the living room floor. I rip open the door and toss them at him, slamming the door shut in his face.

"Bella, can you please give me a chance to explain?"

"We're done, Jacob. For good."

"What are you talking about? We just got engaged!"

"That reminds me…." I work the ring off my finger. "There, engagement over," I yell, snatch the door open and hit him in the face with it.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 17

I nurse a glass of wine as I sit on the floor. It's probably a bad idea after the tequila shots, but Jake and Tanya have probably destroyed _that _buzz.

I can't believe he's done this to me. I can't believe he'd been so sneaky about arranging it either. I don't understand any of it. Did he really believe that being engaged would convince me to participate in his sexual proclivity? I can't believe that I could be so wrong about a person. I can't believe that I'd said yes to marrying him. What I can't believe most of all is that I'm not more upset at finding him with another woman. I'm angry and mortified that he'd discussed our sex life with Tanya, a colleague of sorts, no less, but upset? I have to be honest; I'm not as devastated as a woman in love should be. _That _part really bothers me.

I rise to my feet as I polish off my wine and walk over to the balcony. I peer out into the night as I continue to obsess.

_What is wrong with me?_

Why the hell would both of them confront me about my sexual preferences? Do I appear to be prudish or boring? I always thought I was a little wild when it came to sex; not in a whorish way, but I certainly like to do different things.

"I can be…. adventurous. Any man would be a fool to pass up a chance to be with me," I try to convince myself. I glance at the clock.

_Two a.m._

"It's still early enough to prove that theory," I scoff.

I retrieve my handbag and find a lipstick and compact. I regard my deep red lips with approval and snap my bag shut. I find my stilettos and put them back on, slightly stumbling from the effects of the alcohol. I fluff out my hair, take one last look in the entry hall mirror, and I'm ready. I call the front desk for the exact location of the bar lounge. The door clicks decisively behind me as if heralding the end to my mindless pondering.

The lighting in the lounge is dim and sensual. A few couples are spread around the room in intimate conversation; several people mingle in groups and a couple of lone patrons sit at the bar. I take a deep breath and enter. I don't want to appear desperate, so the bar seems like the safest place.

I take a seat near the middle of the counter; it somehow feels like a less lonely spot. The bartender approaches me immediately and asks what my preference is.

"Gin and tonic, please," I request unhesitatingly, and he pours the drink and places it in front of me.

I look down at the glass and realize thatthere's absolutely no way I can drink this after the alcohol I've already consumed.

I pull the drink close and fiddle with the stirrer, giving the bartender a brief, tight smile.

"Sam, you can put this lady's drink on my tab. Hi, my name is James, and you are?" he sits down next to me.

"Bella." I tilt my head to thank him for his generosity.

"Bella. That's a pretty name. Fits you like a glove." He smiles wolfishly.

"Does it now?"

"It does." He licks his bottom lip as he lowers his eyes to my mouth.

He's handsome enough; blonde hair, blue eyes, good physique, from what I can gather, but he's the kind of man I know can't be trusted. Hell, at this point, none of them can.

"Are you here alone, Bella?"

I look pointedly at the empty seat on the other side of me and turn back to him with a raised eyebrow. He laughs.

We make light conversation, and I seek out my drink. He's obviously becoming more comfortable and moves closer. He keeps trying to ply me with drinks, but I decline each time. He rests his hand on my thigh, caressing it gently as he whispers in my ear. I cover his hand with my own and firmly move it off my leg.

"You're one sexy woman, Bella"

"Is that so?"

"It _is_ so, and you're driving me crazy. What do you say to joining me in my suite for a nightcap? I have the presidential suite." He places his hand flat on the bar, slides it toward me then lifts it slowly, revealing his hotel key. "What do you say?"

"She'll say no, _won't_ she?" A strong hand slams over the key and swipes it onto the floor. "What the fuck are you doing?" he hisses at me

I whirl around, and Edward is standing glaring at me murderously, his eyes blazing in outrage and anger.

"What are you doing here?" I'm surprised and somewhat angered at his interference.

"You got a problem, man?" James stands and advances on Edward.

"I do. The lady is with me," he answers then steps up decisively.

_What?_

"Look, she said she was alone. Get lost, man."

James reaches down, picks the key up and places it in my hand. "It's the presidential suite. I'll be waiting." He strokes my cheek.

Edward pushes me behind him and punches James with such force that he knocks him up onto the bar, laying him out flat on the countertop.

I gape in shock. Gasps and the odd scream ring throughout the lounge.

"Fuck!" James grabs at his jaw as he rises, angrily swiping turned-over glasses and bottles off the counter.

"You're going to pay for that, motherfucker." He points angrily at Edward, who's now unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling up his sleeves.

"You want more?" His voice is eerily calm, and it makes my blood run cold. I've never seen him like this.

"No! Stop it, both of you." I jump in-between them.

"Am I going to have to call security?" The bartender, Sam adds, walking from behind the bar and steps in to keep the two apart.

"Nah, it's all good, Sam. Bella knows where to find me." James winks at me then turns to walk away.

"Don't bank on her showing up!" Edward yells after him.

"I'm not going to forget this, Edward. Next time." He glowers and spits blood on the floor.

I turn back and look at Edward, who's making to follow him.

"Stop it! Are you insane?"

"Am _I_ insane? What the fuck are _you_ doing? You don't even know that guy!"

"And you are not my fucking father. Stay away from me." I push at his chest and storm off. I can hear him stalking behind me.

"You are not going up to that room, Bella. I won't let you."

I whirl on him. "You won't _let_ me? Again, you are not my father, Edward. You have no say in what I do."

I turn and head for the elevator. I'm certainly not planning to join that jerk, James, but I don't feel I have to enlighten him to that fact.

_Screw him._

As I make my way across the highly polished marble floor, I twist my ankle and slip.

"Ah!"

"Shit! Bella, are you all right?" He runs over and kneels to help me.

"Don't touch me! No, I'm not all right, it damned well hurts!"

Several hotel workers are gathered around me.

"She'll be fine. I'm a doctor." Edward announces confidently.

They seem to be satisfied and step back to allow Edward to examine my ankle.

"Let me see." He reaches for my leg, and I flinch before he can actually put his hands on me.

"Don't touch it!" I squeak.

"Bella, I need to see how bad it is. Trust me, okay?"

"I _don't_ trust you," I snap.

"Look, I know why you're skeptical about me as a man, but you _can_ trust me as a doctor. Let me see your ankle."

I read the sincerity in his eyes, and slowly ease my leg over to his hand. He presses on it gently. It hurts, but not as badly as I thought.

"It's not broken. It's a sprain," he sighs in relief.

"Are you sure?"

"Without a doubt." He rises to his feet and sticks his hand out for me. "Do you think you can walk?"

I try getting to my feet and wince. "Ow! Damn it!"

He rolls his eyes and steps over to me, he places a hand behind my back, bending slightly.

"What are you doing?" I panic.

"What does it look like? Don't bother fighting me on this."

Before I can protest, he scoops me up and walks over to the elevator.

"She'll be fine. I'll get her to her room safely and wrap her ankle." He addresses the nearby hotel staff. "What room are you in?"

"Penthouse level…room four." I hesitantly wrap my arm around his neck to secure myself. He nods and steps into the elevator.

"I'm fine, Edward. You can put me down now," I say once we've reached my room.

"Give me your key." He orders softly.

I huff irritably and dig in my purse and hand over the key. He heads toward the bedroom.

"Not in there," I protest, not wanting to be anywhere near the room that Jake and Tanya used. He stops abruptly and frowns at me, but sets me down on the chaise instead.

I look down at my ankle. There isn't any swelling that I can see, but it aches when I try to rotate it.

"Stay put. I'm going to get my bag and some ice," he warns.

"Is that necessary? It's not even swollen."

"Either you stay put, or I'm driving you to the emergency room. Choose."

I scowl at him for barking orders at me.

"Fine."

"I'll be right back."

_What the hell is he doing here? He's going to get his bag…from where?_

He has a lot of explaining to do. Firstly, why is he following me? Secondly, why did he feel the need to start a bar fight over me? I can't get his expression out of my head. He looked like he was going to commit murder.

_Is he jealous?_

This is such a mess. I bury my face in my hands. My thoughts are one huge ball of confusion.

"Why is this happening?" I mutter.

"It happened because you were being stubborn," he walks back into the room with a leather case in hand and an ice bucket in his arms.

"That was quick."

"My room is right down the hall."

"Are you following me?" I ask coldly. I can't believe he'd go to such lengths to pursue me. The auction was one thing, but this is getting ridiculous.

He walks over and kneels in front of me, smirking.

"Answer me, Edward!"

"The answer is no. I did not follow you here and request a room on the same floor, just to be close to you."

I arch an eyebrow at him.

"Offering unnecessary information is basically an admission of guilt."

"Learn that from your lawyer boyfriend?" He looks up at me with an amused, smug, expression. I bite my lip to keep from responding.

"In response, the reason I divulged so deeply is because I knew what you were thinking. I wanted to make things clear before you assumed anything more."

I wince a little as he places the wrapped ice onto on my ankle.

"Sorry," he mumbles immediately.

We're silent as he tends to me. I study him carefully. He's proficient, gentle and completely focused on caring for his patient; me. For the first time, the roles are reversed.

"It looks like you're going to need some for yourself." I finally break the silence.

"What do you mean?" He looks up, puzzled.

I motion to the back of his right hand; the skin on his knuckles is marred and looks slightly bruised. "What the hell were you thinking, anyway, hitting that guy? He could've killed you."

"I highly doubt that," he snorts.

"He called you by your name. How do you know each other?"

He clenches his jaw and fixes me with an icy glare.

"What the hell were you thinking, flirting with him? Aren't you engaged?"

"You do not get to butt in or inquire about my personal life. Have you got that?"

"I apologize. I forgot. Only you're allowed to do that," he remarks snidely as he begins to tape my foot.

"Unlike you, it's my job to butt into and inquire about people's personal lives."

"And it is _my _job to heal. Now shut up and hold still so I can get this finished. And by the way, that was some damned reckless behavior you were exhibiting tonight. Things must not be perfect in post-engagement world if you're letting the sleaziest of men put his hands all over your ass."

"His hands weren't on my ass. You sound jealous, Edward." I counter.

He blows out a breath and rises to his feet. "Jealousy is something that is very foreign to me. I've never experienced it, it's always been the other way around, but you…."

"Are you claiming to be jealous, Edward?" I smile up at him arrogantly.

His look is intense, one almost of longing.

"Yes, I am…. so what? I'm not ashamed to admit it." He shrugs, surprising me. "When I saw you with that guy, I became possessive. The sight of him touching you…"

My smile disappears. I can't fathom how this conversation turned so serious, so quickly.

"Then there's Jacob. The way he looks at you, and the way you look at him…. it sparked something in me the night of the banquet. I had to do something, anything."

"So, you spent twenty thousand dollars on me, for what exactly? What did you think that money was going to buy, Edward?"

"A chance."

"A chance?"

"I thought that if I bid on you and won, that it would give us a chance to talk; spend time together, without all the professional stuff in the way. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity for you to get to know _me."_

"I think I know you pretty well, Edward."

"No…. no, you don't, Bella. You _think _you know me. You know a man who came into your office with his wife, pretending to seek advice about marital problems, but you don't know the entire story. In your eyes, you see a man whose sole purpose is to manipulate and conquer women, using any means necessary. You see a man that has no respect for women, but you're wrong. I respect my mother and my sister. I respect women. I respect _you_, Bella."

I'm taken aback by his sudden forthrightness and can only listen in silence.

"What you _think_ you know is the complete opposite of what is true. I've done unforgivable things in my past, yes. And I'll most likely do more, but one thing you choose to ignore about me, is that I have feelings. I'm not just some cheating, heartless man who doesn't give a shit. What you choose to ignore is the way that I feel about you."

"How do you feel about me?" I regret the words even as they form in my mind, but it's as if I can't stop them from being spoken.

He closes his eyes and runs his hand through his hair. "I want you."

"This is not news, Edward. You want me to go to bed with you."

"No! I want _you_!" He drops to his knees in front of me, and lifts my chin to look at him, compelling me with his blazing, green intensity.

"You want sex. You like the thrill of the chase."

He releases his hold on me, but keeps his eyes locked on mine. "I can get sex from anyone. And trust me, I'm not in the habit of chasing any woman for it. It doesn't get me off. What I want from you is so much deeper. You're beautiful and alluring and you challenge me. You're the total opposite of me, yet you're my equal. You frustrate me, but you also make me smile. I think about you, and my body radiates a warmth I've never experienced before. I want to know your mind. I want to know your body. I want to know everything about you. I want _all_ of you, Bella."

What do I say to all of that, what _can _I say? I'm attracted to him; more than just attracted, but that feels like a normal feeling to have toward a man like him. He's devastatingly handsome, with an amazing body. His smile is capable of melting the hardest of hearts, and his eyes are so exceptional, he could pin you, like a butterfly to a board, with just one of his intense looks. He has a way of getting to people; I've witnessed his presence onstage some days ago. And women especially, find him irresistible. I recognized his potent attraction the moment he walked into my office.

He's completely mesmerized Victoria. Lauren would do anything to hold on to him. I think about poor Angela Newton; she didn't stand a chance, giddy as a schoolgirl. And Rosalie, despite what she says and feels now, after just one dance, she was putty in his hands, ready to do his bidding. But he wants none of them. He's here on his knees, declaring how much he wants _me._

He's waiting; probably for the combative response that has come to define our interactions.

"Say something," he chuckles nervously, still holding my gaze.

"Why do men cheat?"

"What?" His eyebrows knit together tightly.

I can't believe I asked that, it wasn't what I was consciously planning. I'm not really sure I want to hear his answer, but the question is out there now; no taking it back.

"Why. Do. Men. Cheat?"

"What does this have to do…?"

"It has everything to do with this conversation." I rise to my feet, and he follows suit. "You say that you want me, and that you want a chance. I can't wrap my head around why you think that I'd grant you this, after everything you've done to women in the past. So, my question to you is, _why do men cheat_?"

"I don't know! I can't speak for every man, Bella. All I can say is that for me, it just happened."

"That's all you can say? Was Lauren not enough for you? Did Irina not want to participate in videotaping?" What, Edward? Was the sex not good enough? Was it that neither of them wanted to participate in fucking threesomes?" My chest heaves as the last of my control snaps like a fragile thread.

"Threesomes? I've never…"

"Oh, I sincerely doubt _that_." I cut him off. "All you men are the same. Threesomes and videotaping are all the same kinky crap."

I hobble over to the bar and pour myself a glass of wine.

"You all want to have your cake and eat it too. You want videotaping, threesomes, foursomes, and God only knows what else!" I swallow the contents in the glass and pour a second.

"Why do I get the feeling that we're not talking about me?" he sighs and walks over and snatches the bottle and glass from my hand. "What happened? Where's your fiancée?"

"Who knows, probably somewhere off having an orgy. If you hurry, there may be time for you to videotape it." I snatch the glass back and glare at him.

"I wish you'd never learned about that part of my life," he huffs in annoyance.

"I bet you do."

"So, Jacob wants threesomes, and you're no longer wearing your engagement ring. What does that mean?"

"What the hell do you think it means, Edward?"

"I knew it." He shakes his head and looks away.

"You knew what?"

"I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him, that he wasn't right for you. So, one woman isn't enough for him, he needs two."

"Shut up, Edward."

"What a dumb jackass."

"How dare you sit here and judge? You're not any better."

"I can't believe you're actually defending him. I would _never_ ask for things like that from you. He and I are nothing alike. If that's what he's basing your relationship and future on, then he's a fool. If he loves you, there would be no need for another."

"You know nothing about me and Jake." I limp over to the window and watch as storm clouds roll in.

"I know that a guy like that knows nothing about a woman like you. I know that if you'd let yourself, you would see that. You would see that you could have more."

"With you?" I scoff.

"With any man that you desire, but with a man who has eyes for only you; a man who understands what he has in a woman like you, intelligent, beautiful, passionate and fulfilling."

I'm not used to being described in that way. I'm familiar with 'beautiful and sexy', but Edward uses words like 'passionate and fulfilling.' It gives me chills.

The way he speaks of me is the very reason that I would never have given into Jake's wants. And the way his words have so deeply impacted me, is the reason that I'm tempted to give in to Edward, and it terrifies me.

"He doesn't have a clue, Bella. If he did, he would be standing here, where I'm standing right now, fighting to get you back instead of leaving you here, alone."

He slams the wine bottle down on the table and heads for the door.

"Stay off that ankle." He shuts the door angrily. I stare out of the window, the rain pelting violently against it, seemingly echoing Edward's departing mood.

I recap the events of the night.

He's right, and I hate it. Every word he's said about Jake, our relationship, is the truth; a truth I don't want to face.

My feelings for Edward are changing, unraveling right before my eyes, and I can't seem to find a way to stop it. I grasp at any straw that I can to deny my feelings, from him being my patient, to my relationship with Jake. These important details don't seem to matter. I feel as if, since the instant I set eyes on him, I've been sucked into some Edward-like vortex.

Tears slide down my face as realization finally bubbles to the surface. The truth is winning out. I screw my eyes shut and shake my head vehemently, trying to expel the shouting in my head, to no avail.

The phrase, _'The first step to healing, is admitting that you have a problem', _comes to mind.

Therapists use it all the time. I recall quoting it to patient's numerous times, I've even used it with Edward. I scoff at that now. I need to take my own advice. But right now, I need to get out….out of this room and away from him. His scent is everywhere I turn, assaulting my senses, driving me crazy.

I hurriedly head for the door, wobbly on my feet and not bothering to grab a jacket. He's at his door, ice bucket in hand and is about to enter. He must sense something is wrong and approaches me.

"Everything alright?"

"Just…just stay away from me, okay," I order and take off down the hall.

I hear him calling after me, but I don't acknowledge him. The elevator arrives, and I step inside without hesitation.

I press for the floor for the roof garden. The heavy glass doors, thankfully, are not locked, and I push them open, with a small amount of difficulty. The freezing rain drenches me in mere seconds, but I don't care. I stand with my head thrown back, eyes closed and allow it to wash away all the wrong and the hurt, I feel. Thunder rumbles, and the storm rages on, emulating the turmoil I feel. Overcome with frustration and anger I scream loudly into the raging night.

I do it over and over again, with everything inside of me and all the strength I have; until I feel a pair of strong hands grip my shoulders. He spins me around.

"Bella, what's wrong!"

I blink as I try to see through the blinding rain. I push the hair that's plastered to my forehead away from my face.

"Stop following me, go away, Edward!" I move away from him, and he grabs my wrist, pulling me back.

"Are you insane? It's like a fucking hurricane out here, and I told you to stay off your ankle. Come back inside!"

I wrench away from him and glare at his gorgeous, now soaking wet face. Even in this torrential downpour, his eyes blaze back at me, drawing my attention, like a lighthouse in a storm.

"You can't control me, Edward! I won't let you!"

"What? I'm not trying to control you. I'm trying to save you from being struck in the head by lightening!"

"I don't need you saving me from anything! I need you to leave me alone! Stop following me around, telling me about my life and telling me what you think I want and need!"

"That's what this is about? You're standing out here risking death because of what I said earlier? God, you're so reckless, Bella!"

"I'm so sick of your self-righteous attitude! This is what you wanted; me stripped bare, realizing, admitting to myself, to you. You want to be right!"

"What the hell are you talking about? I've never asked for you to make some revelation to me, and I certainly did not ask you to be reckless while doing so. I just wanted you to be honest with yourself about your feelings and what's going on in your life!"

"Who the fuck asked you, Edward? You know nothing about my feelings or my life!"

We're both breathing heavily and glaring darkly at the other, before he reaches for my hand again.

"Come inside. We can talk…"

"No. I'm not going anywhere! Do you know why I came out here, Edward? I came out here because I couldn't breathe knowing you were in the room practically next to mine! I felt like I was suffocating! Ever since I've showed up in Florida, you've been everywhere I've turned! So, I had to get away from you, but here you are once again!" I laugh sarcastically.

He runs his hand roughly through his wet hair.

"And you know what? I'm tired! I'm so tired of running and...and, resisting and pretending. So, you win, Doctor Masen."

"What do I win?"

A loud, thunderous clap erupts directly overhead, and I scream. He grabs hold of me, and he almost forcibly ushers me inside and into the elevator.

We're outside my room. He takes the key from my hand and opens the door, waiting for me to enter first.

I hear the soft click of the lock. That tiny, subtle noise nearly makes me jump out of my skin.

The rain continues to hammer noisily against the windows, apparently. I walk across to peer outside; or to put some distance between us, I'm not sure which.

The sound of liquid filling a glass echoes through the silence. I glance behind me to see him wet and shirtless, pouring brown liquor into two glasses. I didn't even notice him take his shirt off. This is it, the seduction.

He walks over to me and hands me the glass. "Cognac"," he waits for me to accept.

"I think I've had quite enough to drink tonight." My eyes dart between him and the extended glass.

"This will warm and relax you."

"Thank you." I take the glass and our fingers brush.

He holds my gaze as we sip.

I savor the taste on my tongue, and nod faintly in approval. He backs away slowly, still looking at me, before turning to head into the bathroom. My heart races in anticipation, not knowing what he'll do next.

I take a gulp of the drink and place the glass on the window ledge. I hear his approach and without words, he begins stroking my hair with a towel. He's so gentle, yet his movements feel sure and firm. My eyes flutter closed. I feel him move, the warmth of his breath on my neck. I brace my hands against the cold window and lean my head back until it rests on his shoulder. His skin on mine feels incredible. His breathing picks up as our bodies briefly touch. We're not quite flush against each other, but enough that I feel his arousal graze across my lower back. I can't help the slight moan that escapes my lips.

He takes a step back. My eyes open at the loss of his body. "Step forward," he commands softly, voice low and tinged with lust. I obey, and he moves the zipper of my dress down; slowly. I'm in nothing but a strapless lace bra and matching panties.

He dries my shoulders and back, placing kisses over each area he dries. My hands claw at the window until they're balled into fists.

"What do I win? Tell me," he whispers.

I'm too caught up in what his lips and tongue are doing to my neck and shoulders to respond.

"Tell me." His hands slide around the front of my mid-section, and he pulls me against him.

"You said it would only be a matter of time," I gasp at the sensation of his body so close to mine. "You were right. You win, Edward. You're finally getting what you want."

He stops; everything, but I know he's still behind me. I spin around to see him watching me with a perplexed look on his face.

"What?"

"You think I want this?" he gestures, pointing between the two of us.

"Well, don't you?"

He shakes his head and smirks, as if in disbelief.

"Of course, I want this. I want you, Bella. I've been nothing but clear about that from the beginning. But this whole _you win_ thing, I don't know what the fuck that's supposed to mean. We are either in this together or it's not happening."

I can't believe my ears.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I told you earlier that I'm tired of running and pretending."

"Which means what, exactly?"

"Excuse me…. weren't you just here in this room with me? Can't you tell that I want the same thing you do?"

"Which is what, Bella? What do you want?"

Is this some kind of trickery? A complete mind-fuck, Edward Masen style? He's been chasing me, taunting me the entire time I've known him and finally, when I'm giving in, he backs off.

"The truth is, Bella, you said all of that bullshit outside, and you can say it until you're blue in the face, but that's all it is; bullshit. You still can't say exactly what it is you want."

"I know what I want." I slide my hands up his bare chest, marveling silently at how the muscles ripple and contract beneath my palm.

"That's all well and good, but…." he gently clasps both my wrists in his hands, pulling them away from his body, "… it means nothing until you say the words out loud…. to me." He leans in, kissing me very close to my lips. "I'm not _coming in_, until you _invite me_ _in_, Bella. Have a goodnight."

I'm half-naked, worked up and gaping like a fish. I watch him grab his wet shirt.

Those whispered words, with their double entendre, bounce around in my already scrambled brain, as he leaves me standing there. Alone.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 18

I stare at the ceiling. Every night, since having left Miami over a week ago, even after a heavy shift, I end up tossing and turning, unable to sleep. I can't stop thinking of Bella. I haven't seen or heard from her, not that I'm expecting her to contact me; in fact, I know that she won't. I'm almost certain she's trying to find a way to convince herself that it didn't happen.

I've thought about showing up at her office, but I want to give her some time to process things, figure out her feelings. I'd sprung a lot on her. For me there were no surprising revelations, but I'm sure there were for her.

Things had just skyrocketed when I saw her with James. He's a sleaze, who's successfully made a career as a plastic surgeon in the Miami, but he's originally from Chicago. We'd been at med-school together. After achieving his Board Certification, he moved to Florida to specialize.

He's also Lauren's 'ex'; the guy she was dating exclusively before she became fixated on me.

I'd heard rumors about him having access to and supplying med-students with recreational drugs and 'energy enhancers' for 'when you need to get your head back in the game'; his words exactly. He'd tried, on many occasions, to sell to me.

Bella and James, both oblivious to my presence, were already sitting at the bar when I walked into the lounge. My blood boiled the moment I laid eyes on them sitting that closely together.

I remember asking myself what she could be thinking.

I didn't want to make a scene by going up to them, acting like a caveman, demanding that Bella leave with me; nor did I have the right to. Instead, I sat back to observe them discreetly from an unobtrusive table.

I recall thinking that it could be a totally innocent situation; two people simply having a drink, but I know James, and I could tell by Bella's body language that she was uncomfortable.

I watched as he continued to offer her drinks and her declining on each occasion. From what I could see, she was pretty much disinterested in the drink she already had.

I'd ordered a drink of my own, waiting to see how things would turn out. Then he put his hand on her thigh and I snapped. I was out of my seat and across the lounge in seconds.

I'd really expected for the altercation between James and me to be worse than it turned out, I was prepared for it once I hit him. At the time, beating the crap out of him seemed a much more satisfactory option than him just walking away. In retrospect, it was probably for the best, I really did not want to tarnish my professional reputation with the likes of him.

What happened with James had been a walk in the park, compared to what happened with Bella later. I had no intentions of setting of the events of that night.

We were both faced with some truths neither of us intended to admit to or was ready for. She admitted the end of her relationship with Jacob, and I came clean about my feelings for her. Those admissions sparked something inside both of us. It set the premise for what happened later.

When I followed her out into the night and found her screaming in a violent storm, I didn't know what to think. My initial thought was that she'd further injured herself and was in pain. But my show of concern quickly escalated into our normal arguing.

My earlier confession had gotten to her. She was finally opening herself up to the possibility that she could actually feel something for me. However, there was no need for us to get killed in the wake of her epiphany, and I just wanted to get her back to safety and to take care of her. And the rest ensued.

I turn over and check the clock again, two twenty a.m., it's only been six minutes since I last checked. I realize that I'm not going to be able to get proper rest until I see her.

I think back to the way her skin felt against my lips. Closing my eyes, I let that feeling crash over me again.

I've berated myself constantly after walking out on her, but it was necessary. _She_ needs be the one to initiate things between us. Her initial feelings about me are still a barrier, and making love to her that night would have proven everything she'd already established in her mind about me; a womanizer.

Backing off was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. She'd been standing right in front of me, practically naked. She let me touch her, dry her hair, kiss her body. My desire for her was overwhelming, prominent and painful, straining against the zipper of my slacks. I knew she felt it.

I'd been in similar situations before, but part of me felt a bit embarrassed that she knew she was affecting me in that way, that I couldn't control a simple, intimate act without becoming completely aroused.

That night I went back to my hotel room, stood under a cold shower and had a few drinks to take the edge off. I didn't even consider pleasuring myself; for the first time in a long, long while, I ignored my sexual want.

I had to force myself to keep from running down the hall, back to her room to finish what we'd started.

Things have changed between us, and I'm going to make certain that I don't ruin it by quickly satisfying my sexual urges with her. I need to prove to her that I'm serious about this.

Monday morning rolls around, the day, while in Florida, we'd agreed on a session for me. I'm feeling anxious as I reach her office floor.

I chastise myself for seemingly being unable to handle seeing a woman after having an intimate moment with her. The elevator doors slide open as I step into the lobby and am met with bright eyes and a warm smile.

"Good morning."

"Good… morning to you too," I say hesitantly and frown slightly. "Is Doctor Swan in her office?"

"Yes, she is. You must be Doctor Masen. She's expecting you."

"Thanks … Leah." I peer down to read her nametag.

Just then Bella appears at her office door and looks at me skeptically. "Am I interrupting, Doctor Masen?"

I smile, not able to control my pleasure at seeing her. She's gorgeous. Seeing her glamorously dressed while we were in Florida was a treat, but this look is by far my favorite; pencil skirt, buttoned-up blouse showing tantalizing glimpse of her collarbone. She's wearing her black-rimmed glasses and her hair is pinned up neatly. I'd opt for her to wear it loose and wild, but I keep that fantasy tucked away for now.

"No, you're not interrupting. I was just thanking your new receptionist and was on my way in."

She crosses her arms and leans against the door, which opened for me to enter. The moment the door closes, I'm in front of her, fighting against the urge to touch her.

_Fuck, she smells so good! I can't do this._

"I can't promise that I'll be able to keep from touching you," I warn.

"Well, you'd better because if you don't, this session is over, Doctor Masen.

"Yes ma'am," I laugh, coercing a small smile from her, but I can't read her current mood. Yes, she's all business at the moment, but I can't grasp what her thoughts are about us now.

"Should I lie down on the couch?" I snicker.

"If you choose, but note, you will be lying there alone. Shall we get started?"

"All work and no play," I mumble jokingly and take a seat in an armchair.

We're not making much progress, my mind is too focused on what happened in Florida, and she's trying her best to avoid the subject. Finally, I just decide to throw caution to the wind.

"Have dinner with me tonight."

"No."

"That's a really…. definite response." I frown.

"It is definite. I'm not having dinner with you," she says while appearing to read something on her notepad. "You're married and I…"

"I'm getting a divorce, Bella. Have dinner with me, we have a lot to discuss," I cross over to her. "We haven't seen or spoken to each other since what happened in Florida. We need to clarify some things."

"Things are already clarified, Edward. I'm dealing with a…. an obviously emotional and serious issue in my personal life. I'm nowhere near ready to jump into another destructive situation after just getting out of one, especially, not with you, a patient."

"Then I'm no longer your patient. Come on, Bella, it's just dinner."

"It's not just dinner!" She slightly raises her voice and slams her notebook on the table. "We almost had sex, Edward!" She whispers, but her tone is still just as firm. She doesn't want to alert anyone that anything unpleasant is going on.

"But _we didn't_ have sex. Believe me; I'm kicking myself for that one. I know we have to take our time with things. A lot happened, and we both admitted some pretty serious things, but it's all right. We can work through it."

She leans her head back and sighs in frustration. "I still have unresolved issues with Jake."

"I'm not a fool, Bella, I know you have feelings for the guy…"

"I loved him, Edward. I believed I loved him," she murmurs almost to herself, before she spins around to face me. "We got engaged, and a day after I accepted his proposal, I almost went to bed with you. Do you not see the absurdity in that?"

"You're right. It's _absurd_ that he fucked up."

"Edward…." she's becoming annoyed. "I have patients that will be showing up soon. It seems we're not going to make any progress today because of the obvious elephant in the room."

"Does that mean you'll accept my dinner invitation; a friendly dinner?"

She bites her lip, a clear sign that she's at war with her conscience.

_I notice some of your quirks too, Doctor Swan._

"All I'm asking for is one dinner." I implore further.

"We tried that in Miami, remember?" She arches an eyebrow at me.

"You didn't play fair, so I deserve a second chance," I counter. She shakes her head and tries to suppress a smile.

"I remember telling you that when an opportunity presents itself, you should jump on it. Maybe you missed your opportunity."

"I'm confident that I haven't. Is that a yes?"

"No. I need time to think, and I can't do that with you here; asking me to dinner. I still have unresolved things to work out, and you do as well," she stands to usher me to the door.

"I will honestly give your invitation some thought, but in the meantime, you've got to go."

"Fine, I'll give you all the time that you need." I stop and caress her cheek. My eyes drop to her lips, my own inches from hers.

"This is not being friendly," she says breathlessly.

"I told you I couldn't promise."

"Edward, I can't...not this soon." She pulls away hesitantly.

"All right, I'll accept that. It's not a no." I open the door and make to leave, but shut the door again.

"The next time the opportunity presents itself, I will be ready to _jump on it_…. literally," I smile broadly at her.

"Out…. now." She snorts, but with a grin.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it!" I whisper as she opens the door and gently pushes me out. I compose myself, seeing that the receptionist and other patients are watching me. "Leah."

"Enjoy the rest of your day, Doctor Masen."

I flash her a smile and walk to the elevator.

As soon as I'm in the car, I place a call to Lauren, explaining that I need to see her. We agree to meet for lunch to discuss the terms of our divorce.

I can't begin to move on with my life until I resolve this, and Bella will never believe that I'm serious about her unless I did so.

We order quickly and eat mostly in awkward silence. It's strange that we've been married for eight years, but can't seem to form words to make even superficial conversation. I realize, yet again, that most of our marriage has been spent arguing; it's about the only way we can communicate.

"So," I clear my throat, "you look well."

"As opposed to what? Looking like shit because my marriage is ending?"

My leg bounces with unease. I sigh quietly, sensing this meeting is about to go awry.

"I just meant that you look good, no more than that. Have you had time to look over the papers?" I decide to stay on track and forego pleasantries, after all this isn't a pleasant situation.

"Yes, I've looked them over. You were very generous with the settlement, Edward."

"I just want everything to go smoothly. There's no reason to drag this out and make things difficult. After everything that's happened, I still care about you, Lauren."

She shoots me a cross look. "You mean after everything I've done to you."

"I didn't say that. There's enough blame to go around. We both know what our individual roles were in this. I'm not pointing any fingers."

"Yeah…. well that seems a bit strange," she sighs heavily and pulls the envelope from her purse. "Here all signed."

She roughly tosses the envelope over to me.

"Now you can move on with your life. I'm sure Irina will be thrilled to know that we've failed."

I reach across the table, retrieve the envelope and open it to make sure that everything is in order. When I'm satisfied, I tuck them into my jacket pocket.

"Irina and I are done. She's getting married. I'm sure you've heard the news."

"Oh, that's right." She smiles mockingly. "Well…. I'm sure you'll have no problem finding someone new, maybe Doctor Isabella Swan," she says snidely as she stands.

The way she said Bella's name doesn't sit well with me. It's as if she knows something.

"Doctor Swan…. why would you mention her?"

"Cut the shit, Edward. I know you're chasing her around like a dog in heat. You're really a sick bastard."

"Excuse me, what the fuck are you talking about, Lauren?"

"Let's just say I've been in touch with an old, mutual friend."

_James._

My anger spikes.

"Well, you know filth and trash are closely related." I snap.

"Fuck you, Edward." She turns to leave, and I pull her back. "Take your fucking hands off me, or this meeting will suddenly go very differently."

"You tell James that if he even thinks about retaliating in any way, I'll kill him." I hiss through clenched teeth. Diners around us are beginning to murmur. I glance around and slowly release her arm. "Deliver that message to him."

"Kill?" She smirks. "That's a little severe, don't you think?"

"It's not nearly severe enough after what the two of you did to me. I'm not kidding, Lauren." My threatening stare doesn't waver, and she finally turns to leave.

.

.

.

I'm distracted. It's not good, given that I'm in the middle of a session with a patient who clearly needs my undivided attention.

Edward is consuming my thoughts. I still can't believe the way our relationship has revolved. I'd offered myself to him sexually, and to my shock, he'd turned me down. Despite my confusion at this unexpected behavior, I'm relieved that he left my room that night. I'd consumed entirely too much alcohol and wasn't thinking clearly.

My appointment is into its final moments, and somehow, despite being mentally absent, I've managed to give my patient some vague advice. I apologize for my unprofessionalism, lying about some patient emergency that I was informed of just before she was due. I reschedule another session in the next few days instead of the normal two weeks and tell her that there will be no charge for today.

I straighten my desk and leave for the rest of day. I'm looking forward to a relaxing evening at home, where I can hopefully decompress and clear my mind.

I stop in my tracks as I reach the parking lot. Jake is leaning against his car. He's been trying to contact me in every way since Miami.

He's unshaven and looks disheveled. The dark circles under his eyes, a clear sign that he hasn't been sleeping well. For a second, his state tugs at my heartstrings. It's short-lived when I recall how we got to this point. I still myself and make my way to my car without acknowledging him.

"You look beautiful."

I scoff and turn to scowl at him.

"You look like shit." I open my car door.

"I guess it describes the way I feel. Bella…. please don't ignore me…"

I pull up and slam the door shut.

"What do you want from me, Jake?"

"A chance to explain." The regret on his face is unmistakable as he approaches.

I hold my hand up to stop his advance.

"There's nothing to explain. You were unfaithful. I _won't_ accept it. Deal breaker."

"We didn't sleep together, Bella. We didn't, I…"

"You must think that I'm the most stupid woman on the planet. Let me explain something to you, Jake. You lied to me. You went to great lengths to have me believe that you were back in Chicago when you were actually still in Miami, plotting and scheming to screw another woman. I caught you both with your clothes off; you didn't have sex because I interrupted you. Everything about it was deceptive and manipulative. It's cheating."

His face falls, and he looks even more pathetic than he did before.

"Bella, I made a mistake."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "There are no mistakes; only choices and decisions. You made bad ones, and they cost you. We're over." I open my car door, get in and start the engine. Before I can pull off, he's kneels at my window.

"We love each other. You can't just walk away from that."

"Watch me." I shift the gear.

"For the record, I don't think we've loved each other for a long time now. We haven't used the word in years. And what you did, certainly is not based on love. Goodbye, Jake." I drive off; the image of him fading in my side view mirror.

.

.

.

"So…. I met this guy, and we're supposed to be going out." She huffs as she pedals.

Rosalie and I have met up at the gym after work. We haven't seen much of each other since Miami. I thought it was a good idea for us to hangout. She's my best friend and knows me better than anyone. I feel bad that I'm keeping her in the dark about things that are going on in my life.

"Who is he?"

"His name's Emmett. I met him here a few days ago, he was playing racquetball with another guy. He approached me, and I gave him my number. He's extremely gorgeous."

"Wait…Emmett? That's the guy who owns that pub we were at a while back! Remember? His name is plastered across the front in neon lights."

"Oh, shit! You're right!" She stops pedaling and covers her mouth in surprise.

"Oh, my, God Rosalie. He's Edward's brother!"

'_I remember you…. the night at my brother's pub.' _His voice echoes in my head.

Rosalie frowns at me in confusion. "_Edward_. Who in the hell is…. Oh. My. God!"

"Yeah! It's his brother!"

"I don't give a crap that they are brothers! When in the hell did he become '_Edward?'_

I freeze then bite my lip sheepishly.

"Uh-uh, we need a twenty minute break so you can tell me what the hell is going on." She dismounts the bike, wraps her towel around her neck and waits for me to follow her to the exercise mat.

I guess now is as good a time as any to bring her up to speed.

As we pretend to be stretching on the mat, I tell her about the events as they occurred. When I get to the part about Jake and Tanya, she spits a string of colorful curse words and stands abruptly, vowing to tear Tanya' hair out and shove it down her throat. What she has in store for Jake goes beyond repeating. I feel sorry for either of them, should they run into her.

I pull her down onto the mat and tell her to calm herself by counting backwards from fifty. When she's done, I tell her about what happened between Edward and me, and her eyes nearly drop onto the mat.

"Oh, Bella." She buries her face in her hands and shakes her head in contempt. "What are you doing? You warned me about this guy in the beginning. What the _hell_ are you doing!"

"Please don't judge me. I'm telling you this because you're my friend. Don't make me sorry that I confided in you." It comes out more harshly than I intended.

Her hands drop from her face, and she looks at me with a hurt expression.

"I'm not judging you. I'm just worried. The minute I saw the way you looked at each other in Miami, I knew that there was something going on. It's clear what his feelings are for you. What I'm concerned about are your feelings for him."

I look down at my hands in my lap. If I look at her, she'll see something in me that I've been trying to hide for some time now. I'm beginning to care for Edward.

"Bella?"

I feel like I'm fourteen years old again, sitting on my bed back in Florida, with my mom explaining boys to me. I look back up at her hazel eyes, so full of concern.

"Are you falling in love with Doctor Masen?"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 19

Edward's been keeping his distance. He called Leah and cancelled future sessions. Not long after that, he left a voicemail on my office phone, simply saying, "I wanted to give you some space."

The days drag on and I keep myself busy with work. It's now been three weeks since I've seen or heard from him. It's weird, but I'm feeling unsettled about his continued silence. I can't exactly pinpoint what I'm feeling; hurt? Possibly, or maybe I just miss him.

It isn't like I can pick up the phone and just call him out of the blue.

Or can I?

"Don't do it, Bella." I chastise, but I keep thinking of contacting him.

"And say what? '_Hey, are you coming in for a therapy session?' _ This isn't good. I shake off these ridiculous thoughts and shut my office for the night.

Nights are the hardest. Things are easier during the day. Even though he's still on my mind, I can distract myself with work. My home is quiet, and I'm alone with nothing to do, _but_ think of him.

I remember how gentle he was when he dried my hair and how my body reacted as his lips brushed my skin. I recall, as I stood there in front of that window anticipating his touch, thinking that he'd be rough, that the minute there was an opportunity, he'd rip the clothing from me impatiently. Part of me wishes that he had.

I wonder what kind of lover he'd be. I conjure up many scenarios. Visions of him wild and commanding cloud my brain; the type of man who doesn't make slow love twisted up in the sheets. No covers, just raw and uninhibited. He'd reveal himself totally; with not a hint of shyness.

Part of me is ashamed to have such thoughts.

_Can he be gentle? Do I want him to be? Lord help me, I need to go to sleep._

I grab a pillow from beside me and wedge it in between my knees. I drift off to sleep, in a state of frustration.

.

.

.

It's Saturday, and I have a craving for lasagna. I don't expect to run into anyone I know, so I leave dressed in a yoga pants and t-shirt with my hair in a high ponytail. I drive to Gallenari's, my favorite Italian restaurant, to collect the order I'd phoned in.

"Hey, Bella." Enrico, the bartender greets me as soon as I approach the counter.

"Hey, Enrico. How are you?"

"I'm good." He frowns slightly. "Do you need a table?"

"God…no! I'm just here to pick up an order," I say, brushing my hair back. He laughs, knowing that he's embarrassed me.

"I'm just joking, Bella. Let me go and check on your order," He snickers.

The place, as usual, is crowded. Not surprising as this is a very popular restaurant, for good reason.

I notice a large family gathering at a table in the middle of the restaurant. Wait staff are walking to and from their table. It's obvious, from the attention they're receiving, that it's a special occasion. A waitress walks past me with an enormous cake colored red and blue in the shape of Spiderman topped with a lighted number '5' candle. I smile, thinking how surprised that little kid's going to be.

I lean against the counter to watch the outcome. The family and wait-staff all clap in time as they sing and loudly, finishing with a resounding, "Happy Birthday, Josh!"

I suddenly realize whom the celebration is for. I watch Edward lift him onto the chair to blow out the candle. The smile on Edward's face is so loving and happy, I can't help my lips curving upward as I watch the two of them together. A curly-haired blonde guy and a shorthaired brunette woman stand to help Josh blow out the candle, when he seems to be having difficulty.

"Trick candle", I quietly laugh.

"Your order will be ready in about five minutes, Bella. The chef asked me to apologize. There's a large family here that he had to prepare some special items for, and things got a little hectic in the kitchen."

"Oh…. it's alright. I understand." I wave dismissively. I pull out my phone to check if I have any messages.

"Hi." He whispers from behind me, causing me to jump slightly.

"Hi," I fiddle with my phone and don't turn in an attempt to hide my giddy feeling. "You saw me, huh?"

"Absolutely."

I turn around, mentally kicking myself for leaving home in my current state of dress. He's smirking at me, while sucking red and blue icing off his finger.

"Looks good.".

"It is." His eyes twinkle. "Want some?"

He thinks that I'm afraid to say yes.

I grab his wrist, pull his hand to my mouth and lick the icing from his finger. His eyes widen in shock. I must admit that I'm somewhat shocked at my action as well.

"Mmm, there's nothing like a good birthday cake."

"You can have a piece if you'd like. That kid will be in the dentist's chair for a week if we don't help him eat it."

I smile and shake my head. His face suddenly turns serious.

"I've wanted to see you, but…."

"You were giving me some space. I know. I got your message."

"Bella!" Enrico calls for me, and gestures to my order that's now bagged and sitting on the bar.

"I have to go. Tell Josh I say happy birthday."

"He'll enjoy seeing you. He asks about you often. You can come over and say hi."

"I think that would be…a little weird, don't you?

"Maybe a little." He mocks a scowl.

"Besides, it's his special day. Just tell him Bella says happy birthday," I turn to walk away, but he stops me.

"_I__'ll _enjoy seeing you."

"You've seen me." I respond cheekily.

He rolls his eyes. "I'll enjoy seeing you some more, for an extended length of time. That dinner invitation is still open."

I contemplate for a moment, sneaking another taste of icing off of his cake. He watches every motion as I bring my finger to my mouth and suck off the icing.

"A friendly dinner and no funny business." I warn, pointing at him. His smile broadens, and his eyes light up triumphantly.

.

.

.

_This is insane. _I think as I sit across from him at his dining room table.

Weeks have gone by, and he's been patient. He's not flirted, well not in the relentless, predatory way I'd come to experience while getting to know him. Mostly, he's been funny and charming, but he's never crossed the line or pressured me. I'm also surprised that he hasn't mentioned the night in Miami.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Hm?" I'm pulled from my thoughts to find him staring at me.

"You're chewing your thumb nail. What's wrong? You don't like your dinner?"

"Oh, sure. Dinner is delicious." I look down at my plate with a nervous chuckle. "You've impressed me with your cooking skills."

"I didn't cook this, unfortunately. All the credit goes to this little Italian restaurant in the city. The only thing I know how to make well is an omelet."

"That's pretty shocking. You look like the type who would know how to cook anything."

"I look like a _type_ to you?" He sits back with a challenging smile. "What type do I look like? Do tell."

"You look like the type of man who's successful at everything."

"That's very vague and a nice copout." He doesn't press the issue.

We move into the living room after dinner and swap stories about college and medical school. I choose to turn the conversation to a more serious topic.

"How do you know James?" His facial expression changes instantly, and I know I've hit a nerve. He exhales with a huff, rises up from the couch and walks over to the bay window.

"I thought this was supposed to be a friendly dinner, us getting to know each other," he says with his back turned to me.

"I thought that _is _what we're doing."

"Well, James is no friend of mine, so that takes us out of the friendly zone."

I can't seem to control the therapist in me tonight. I recall the way he looked when he saw me with James. I also know that look wasn't _all_ about me. Something created bad blood between them, and I'm very interested to know what it is.

"The subject of James is off limits," he says with finality.

The room falls into a deafening silence, and I'm not sure how to proceed. The only sensible thing seems for me to excuse myself for a few moments to allow both of us to regroup.

"May I use your bathroom?"

"Yes, of course…. it's upstairs. Make a left, walk to the end of the hall."

"Thanks."

I follow his directions and switch on the light. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I made a terrible mistake bringing up James.

I've seen a different side to Edward, or maybe I'm the one who's different. Maybe I'm changing along with him, and now I fear that by raising an obviously touchy subject, that I've inadvertently returned him to his closed off state.

I turn on the water and splash some on my face. I reach for one of the hand towels, neatly hanging from a towel ring. There's another door, on the opposite wall, slightly ajar. A light shines from the room beyond it.

I inwardly chastise myself about violating his privacy, but curiosity wins out. It's a simple, yet tastefully furnished bedroom. It doesn't look like the master bedroom, although there are pictures of his and Lauren's wedding sitting on the dresser. As I look around, I notice that the room is filled with neatly piled boxes. He's packing up his old life.

I walk over to the dresser when a picture of Josh catches my eye. I pick it up and smile. The resemblance between him and Edward is uncanny; they could be father and son.

I guiltily replace the photo and turn to leave the way I came, but I step on something hard and hear a cracking sound.

_Oh, damn it!_

I bend down see it's a disc, a digital disc simply labeled 'Angela'. A sickening feeling overwhelms me as realization sets in.

"Hey, is everything alright up there?" He calls from the hallway.

"Shit!" I panic and drop the disc. I try to exit quickly, but my heel gets caught on a rug. I lurch into the nightstand, just managing to avoid falling flat onto the floor.

"Bella?" He calls out, but I don't answer. I hear his voice again, but it's not him calling me from downstairs. I search for where the sound is coming from and my eyes settle on a camera sitting on a tripod in the far corner. I realize that I must have somehow triggered the remote.

Edward's velvet voice fills the room; I turn my head and let out a gasp of horrified shock. Images on the small screen comes into focus.

A blonde-haired woman moans and pants, while on all fours. The visual pans out to reveal the man behind her. And my eyes widen even more. He smoothly commands her to do what he wants. My face feels like it's on fire. I look back in embarrassed horror, he's staring back at me equally shocked and very obviously mortified.

He overcomes his inertia and grabs the remote and aims it in direction of the camera, killing the audio and video altogether.

"Um…. did you hurt yourself?" he asks, tersely.

"Um…. no, I'm fine. I…I just lost my balance and must've accidently pressed a button. I try swallowing the huge lump that's formed in my throat.

"Did you get lost or something? The bathroom's on the other side of the door."

I smile weakly and walk through into the bathroom. I whisper that I'll be out in a second, giving the impression that I hadn't already found the bathroom. He says he'll be downstairs. As I turn to shut the bathroom door, I see him bend down to retrieve the dropped disc from the floor.

I stare at my wide eyes and flushed face as I try to get my pounding heart ad chaotic thoughts under control. My discomfort peaks with every step I take down the hall, with every door I pass. I wonder how many other women he's brought here, and how many of those liaisons have ended up on a little disc with simply a first name as a record of their time with Edward Masen.

He's a womanizer, a newly separated one at that.

As if beacon on a dark night, I look into the open door of what is most assuredly the master bedroom. I stare at dark navy, blue satin sheets and again I wonder how many women he's taken on those sheets. Carnal images of him and those faceless women assault my mind. The thought of him with another woman makes me feel sick, and I feel even more distressed that I would care about it so much.

I hesitantly make my way down the stairs, trying to repress my overwhelming feeling of anxiety.

Perhaps its due to having once again witnessed him having sex with someone, or perhaps it's entirely due to my feelings of guilt and mortification for snooping around his house, taking advantage of our fledgling friendship and trust? Or could it be simply because I fear that I may never get past what I've come to know about him, that I may never be able to have something tangible with this man?

As I reach the curve in the stairs, I see Edward sitting at the dining room table. The lights have been dimmed, and his back is turned to me.

I approach tentatively.

"You're going to leave now, aren't you?"

He sounds distressed, and he's fiddling with something. He doesn't turn to me.

Despite my revulsion at what I've just seen and my feelings of self-preservation, his dejection and his rare vulnerability touches something in me.

"I can stay if you'd like me to," I say softly.

"After what you just saw, I can't believe you would want to."

I don't want him to know just how much I'm battling the need to run out of here. His demeanor concerns me, I can't just walk out on him in his current frame of mind.

I stop behind his chair, just close enough to see what he's toying with. It's a bottle of pills, and though I doubt that he's the type to do himself harm, my concern spikes.

"I never wanted you to see that." He shakes his head.

"It was a little…. surprising… uncomfortable, but I already knew about that part of your life and this time it was my fault."

"How's that?" He turns to look at me.

"I have a confession to make…. I didn't get lost looking for the bathroom. I was snooping around. I would never have seen it if I'd minded my own business."

"You were curious," he says emotionlessly.

"I overstepped…. I'm sorry."

He blinks at me.

"Will you say something? You're making me nervous."

"You were curious." He shrugs dismissively.

I choose to let the subject drop. I have so many other questions bouncing around my head; I wish I had the courage to ask them. I shift my focus to the situation in hand.

"What's that?" I gesture toward the bottle he's spinning on the table.

He stares at me intently for an interminable time.

"Rohypnol."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 20

"Edward, why do you have Rohypnol?"

My mind feels scrambled, and the sick feeling is back.

He's still staring at me. His eyes are so dark and turbulent, watching his feelings play out in them is like being tossed in the middle of a raging ocean in a dinghy. I have the most horrific thought.

"D-did you … were you going to give that to me?" My voice is so broken and faint the words are hardly discernable.

He narrows his eyes, and his jaw tightens. His eyes now blaze, but he remains silent. I can't read him, and I feel like I'm going to be ill.

"Oh my God," I whisper hoarsely and look around robotically.

"I had a glass of wine." I mutter. "You…"

"I can't believe you would think I could do something like that to you. I didn't drug you, Bella. If I had, you wouldn't be standing there fully clothed." He jumps up and the chair clatters in his wake, his jaw unbelievably even more clenched, eyes blazing. He looks away and shakes his head.

My eyes flash to the bottle, and I try to calm my mind.

"You're still here? After what you saw upstairs, and now that you've seemingly labeled me as a sexual predator or rapist, I would think that you'd be running out of the door, screaming."

"Is that what you want…. for me to go?"

"You know I don't want that. But do you truly think I could be capable of drugging you or anyone else?" he turns to look at me, eyes cutting into mine.

"Then talk to me! Yes, I'll admit that seeing what I did upstairs was upsetting, but it was my fault. You've been nothing but honest about that part of your life, so I can hardly be angry at witnessing it. But I find you holding a bottle of date rape pills. What am I _supposed_ to think?"

"You're not supposed to think that I drugged you! God, Bella… I mean what the fuck?" He throws the bottle across the room, and the pills scatter over the floor.

"I want you," he says abruptly. "But I wanted tonight to be what we agreed it to be; a friendly dinner, you and I getting to know each other. More than that, I wanted you to see that I'm serious about having something real with you."

"I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, Edward. Sometimes you can be so…. it's difficult to understand what's really going on beneath the surface."

"It's difficult to understand me? How about you prying around in my personal space? Look, Bella, I get why you don't trust me, but I have no ulterior motives when it comes to you. It's plain and simple. I want to be with you. And to think that you believe me capable of illegally drugging someone..."

"Okay." I whisper.

He totally disarms me when he speaks so honestly about wanting a relationship with me, but I really need to know more about the pills.

He expels a deep defeated groan; all anger drains from him like a gushing tide.

"When you went upstairs, I was thinking that I needed to be more honest with you if I wanted to gain your trust. I didn't mean to snap at you about the whole James thing before. He's just…. it's a sensitive subject for me, that's all."

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable, but you do need to be more honest and open with me."

"I'm never uncomfortable with you. The first time I walked into your office and saw you, I knew you were what I was looking for." He chuckles nervously.

"You knew that, even with your wife sitting next to you?"

He nods without hesitation. "My marriage to Lauren was based on lies, and at that point it had long been over." He sits across from me, pausing briefly. "James and I went to med-school together. He was Lauren's boyfriend before she and I hooked up."

"Edward, you don't have to…"

"He's a pig. That's why I got so worked up when I saw the two of you together. I got flashbacks from when we were in med-school."

"Flashbacks about what?"

"I told you about the night Lauren and I slept together."

"Yes…the night she became pregnant?"

"Well…. what if I told you that it wasn't by accident that she ended up that way?"

"What? Do you mean you planned for her to get pregnant?"

"More like _she _planned."

"Okay, now I'm really confused. I know that Lauren pursued you, but to purposely get pregnant? And what does James have to do with any of it?"

"After Lauren lost the baby, she was a mess, I'm talking borderline hysterical. She was out of her mind with grief. One moment she was blaming me for losing the baby, and the next she was pleading with me to forgive her. I understood that losing a child was devastating, I was living it with her, but she started saying things that made no sense. Until one day they did."

He grasps his hair, and his knee bounces rapidly. I reach for his hand and ease from his hair. I want him to relax; this is obviously a difficult moment for him.

He looks down at my hand holding his and laces his fingers through mine.

"We were having yet another bad argument. I'm sure that as always, she was being paranoid about another woman, I can't recall fully. All she seemed to want to argue about back then were her unfounded suspicion, the same fight, over and over. On that day, I finally, I got fed up and tried to just walk away.

Then she started screaming hateful shit, saying I wasn't the man I thought I was. I wasn't the big "womanizer" I'd built myself up to be. It was weird because even though I wasn't a saint, I was far from a womanizer back then."

"That had to be really hurtful, especially since you were just dealing with the loss of your son."

"Yes…. anyway, I tried to ignore her, and as I was leaving, she kept taunting me, saying how amazing it was that a man who prided himself on having control over women had lost his control to a woman, or something of that nature." He sighs and hangs his head, breaking our eye contact.

He tightens his grip on my hand, and I wince, he immediately notices my discomfort.

"Shit. I'm so sorry." He unlaces our fingers and takes my hand in both of his and caresses it gently.

"I'm all right. Edward…what did Lauren do to you?"

"Nothing. I'll get you a warm compress."

"My hand is fine, Edward. Talk to me. What did she do to you, and what does James have to do with it?"

His looks back and me and slides his hand from mine and gently caresses my cheek. "I'll be right back," he stands up. I grab hold of his and rise to my feet.

"_Tell me_, Edward."

He steps closer, his hand on my face then slowly moves it to thread through the hair at the nape of my neck. His eyes dart back and forth between my eyes and mouth. I watch with bated breath as his tongue, slips out briefly, wetting his lips.

"Edward…"

"You're so beautiful."

"Please, don't use sex to avoid the issue. Talk to me."

"Who said anything about sex?" My heart thumps wildly in my chest. He leans in closer until his lips brush against mine. A small gasp escapes me, and he takes the opportunity to slip his bottom lip in between mine and kisses me deeply. My hand latches onto his firm forearm, urging him not to stop.

He deepens the kiss, and I can't seem to control my breathing.

He finally pulls away only to place kisses along my neck, back up to my chin before returning to my lips.

My head's spinning, even as my body continues to encourage him. He rests his forehead against mine.

"What answer can I give to you that won't make you run away?" His eyes are closed as he draws circles under my jaw with the pads of his thumbs.

"I-I'm not running. I'm right here. Tell me the truth," I whisper still, feeling dazed.

"Our first kiss wasn't supposed to be like this."

"Do you hear me complaining?"

"Maybe we should try again."

"Edward…" I push him away. "Tell me!"

"She fucking drugged me, alright!"

I gasp.

"She drugged me, and James supplied her with the Rohypnol to do it. That very bottle over there. Are you satisfied?"

I'd suspected something as awful as this when he started recounting events, but it sounds even worse coming from him. I can't believe it. Lauren had me convinced that Edward created all the problems in their marriage, when all the time _she_ was the one.

I watch as he paces the floor. He's worked himself up into a state of anxiety.

"Y-you were assaulted." I whisper, as I try to make sense of everything that I thought I knew. He stops abruptly.

"What?"

His jaw is tightly clenched, his eyes wild. I hadn't realized that I'd spoken loud enough for him to hear.

"I said you were …"

"Christ! You sound just like my brother! She drugged me! I was drunk, but I remember going up to that room with her, and I remember having had sex with her, Bella."

"You said you couldn't recall anything after that."

"I knew what I was doing every goddamned minute!" He snaps.

"Edward…."

"No…. don't do that. Don't look at me that way."

"What way?"

"Like I'm… weak or something. I was drunk, Bella. I was drunk and stupid."

"And you were also drugged and taken advantage of, and they should both be in jail for it."

"Oh, please don't go off on some '_in the name of justice'_ crusade," he scoffs. "I realize we aren't in session right now, but don't you even think about repeating this to anyone."

"I would never do that, but, Edward, I think ... I think you're blocking, or not dealing with what happened to you."

"I know what rape is, Bella. I. Wasn't. Raped!"

I lower my head. I don't want him to see what I'm thinking. He bends down trying to make eye contact.

"What? Why are you trying to avoid me now?"

"It's nothing." I shake my head, trying to break his intense stare.

"Bullshit. Tell me what you're thinking."

"It's just…."

"Will you just spit it out?"

"When you believed that I had accused you of giving the drug to me, you referred to it as me seeing you as a rapist."

"Because that's how you were seeing me. If I had given you that drug and had sex with you, that's exactly what I would've been."

"But not Lauren?" I regret it the minute the words leave my mouth, the second I see the look on his face. It's a mixture of confusion and fury.

"It's not the same," he gnashes his teeth.

"Why? Because you're a man?"

His face goes blank and then, like a shield, he appears to protect himself with his blazing anger. Anyone else would probably be afraid, but I'm not. I feel pain for him. My chest feels like it's constricting with every breath I take, with each labored one he takes. He stills himself, emotions firmly repressed.

"Edward…"

"You should go." He says calmly and heads toward the stairs.

"Edward…. I'm sorry…. please don't. _Damn i_t!" I berate myself, as he remains unresponsive. I watch helplessly as he disappears, not giving me a second look.

I wait, hoping that he'll return, and finally I gather my handbag and jacket and leave. The soft click of the latch echoes the hollow finality that I feel.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 21

"Damn it!" I slam my palms against the steering wheel when I finally get in my car. "I pushed him too far. It was too much."

I pushed too much, and now I may have screwed up everything. I stare back at the house and notice his silhouette at the bedroom window. I can tell he's watching me, waiting to see me drive away.

I reluctantly start the engine with one last look at his window. I valiantly battle my need to go back to him and remorsefully drive off.

I can't get to sleep. I can barely sit still; I've been pacing my bedroom floor for hours.

I can't begin to imagine what Edward's doing right now. I'd wager on him near tearing his hair out.

The womanizing, the flirting, the attitude; there's a legitimate reason behind it all. I know that as adults, we're accountable for our actions, but with a man like Edward, I can see why he'd feel the need to regain control.

"She took advantage of him; her and that…. sleaze James. She drugged him and …." The word gets stuck in my throat. I can see now, why he had been so upset.

"Rape."

I remember the look on his face as I made the conclusion; when he vocalized it himself. At the time, I thought what I saw was anger, but I now know that it wasn't. It was shame, and I feel just awful, knowing that I caused him to feel that way.

I find myself wishing the night had gone differently. Why did I stop him kissing me? Kissing him would've been so much easier to deal with. _Anything_, which might have developed from that kiss, would have much easier than this.

I'm so worried about him, that I contemplate calling him and hurriedly find my phone. But I think better of it and put the phone away.

I know that the way I'd approached the situation was wrong.

As a doctor, I should have let him tell me everything and not prematurely provide answers. Answers that he isn't ready to deal with.

I imagine what he must have felt like when he discovered what she'd done, what he continues to feel. He's handsome, confident and yes, often arrogant. He's used to success and being in control of his life. I understand now, why he would react so negatively at the thought of being sexually assaulted. A man like him would feel abject humiliation at what had been done to him; and to learn that his wife and a peer of his had been responsible; must magnify his feeling of humiliation a hundred-fold.

Anger wells up inside of me at the thought of her continued deceit.

She portrayed herself as the victim as she dredged up every one of his dirty deeds, knowing that she'd drugged him and manipulated him into having sex with her, that she'd planned on getting pregnant to trap him. No wonder he stormed out of the session the way he did. At the time, I thought his behavior to be reprehensible; my sympathies were with her. But it all makes sense to me now. I've been played for a fool.

I become even more incensed when I think about her revelation to him. She'd told him that he'd lost all of his control, more than that, that she'd _taken_ it from him. She taunted him. She violated him to trap him into marriage and then taunted him to humiliate and belittle him. She _wanted _him to feel worthless and weak.

"That bitch! She belongs behind bars," I growl. I wish there was a way for me to make that happen, to the both her and James.

.

.

.

"Blood pressure is stable, Doctor Masen."

"All right…. let's get him clamped and into recovery. By the way, excellent work, Jess." I step into the scrub room to dispose of my gown and gloves then head off to check on another patient.

I've been filling in for surgeries all week. Work is the best distraction for me.

I pull the patient's chart and peruse it before I enter with a bright smile.

"Good morning Mrs. Cope. How's my favorite patient?"

"I'm better, now that you're here, Doctor Masen." She extends her hand and weakly tugs me down to sit next to her.

"I've spoken to your daughter this morning, and she's on her way. We'll start to prep you for surgery once she arrives. Right now, I want to check your vital signs and make sure that everything is perfect for us to proceed with the triple-bypass."

"Triple-bypass…. it sounds so difficult. I wish I didn't have to go through it." She turns to look out of the window. I can tell she's afraid, and it's my job to ease that fear.

Mrs. Cope is seventy-six years old and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure two years ago. She's been in and out of hospital since. Triple-bypass isn't going to save her life, but will make living with the disease less wearing on her heart.

"Don't worry Mrs. Cope, you're in the best possible care with Doctor Masen. He'll take very good care of you," Angela reassures, gently placing a hand on her shoulder, while I examine her with the stethoscope. I don't like what I'm hearing.

"Angela, would you get me Mrs. Cope's angio report, please?"

"You sound worried." Her voice trembles.

I remove the stethoscope from my ears and smile reassuringly.

"Everything is fine. I just want everything to be _perfect_ before we go into the O.R. Don't worry, that's my job. You just continue to be the good spirited person you always are, Mrs. Cope."

"You look tired, Doctor Masen. Have you been working too hard?" She eases back onto her pillow, and I adjust her blankets.

"I look that bad, huh?" I chuckle.

"Well, you're still as handsome as ever, but you seem weary. You have crinkles in the corners of your eyes, just like me."

"I can always count on you to make me smile, Mrs. Cope." I can see she's getting tired, so I cover her up and close the blinds to shield her face from the sun. Her eyes automatically flutter shut.

"Get some rest, Mrs. Cope, and I'll be in to check on you in a little while."

I watch her for a few moments longer as I wait for Angela to return.

"Here's the report, Doctor Masen."

"Thank you. Will you check on her regularly? She's asleep right now, but I'm concerned. I'm not completely happy with the way her heart sounds."

"Yes, Doctor Masen."

I make my way to consult with a colleague about Mrs. Cope's deteriorating health.

.

.

.

I've returned to my office, and find that I'm powerless to stop my mind from wandering to Bella. It's been a few days since that disastrous dinner, and I haven't seen or heard from her. Contacting her is out of the question at this point, what would I say?

I had not anticipated revealing what Lauren and James had done that night, but she has a knack for asking all the hard questions. So typical of Bella, given what a good therapist she is.

She had it all wrong though, and the conclusions she drew pissed me off. Like Emmett, the only other person I'd revealed the truth to, she believed that I had been victimized, and what Lauren had done was tantamount to sexual assault.

"It wasn't _that_," I mutter. Surely, I would know if it was. I've witnessed rape victims, and I can't compare my situation with any of theirs. Those people truly were victims. What happened to me was based on my own stupidity.

I knew that James was at that party, and I knew that he'd be up to no good. He always was. I also knew Lauren was trying harder than usual to get me into bed, but I'd been drinking, and the hurt and rejection I felt at Irina's rejection didn't help matters.

Even after Lauren told me, I was able to piece together the events of that night. I remember going upstairs with her and us getting hot and heavy before we actually had sex, but I don't remember a concrete moment when she could've slipped me the drug, but the memory of her revelation is as clear as yesterday.

_"__What the hell did you just say to me?" I grit between my teeth as I freeze at the opened door. I turn to face her angry, spiteful expression._

_"__You heard me. You're weak and clearly not as smart as you think you are. You pride yourself on being the Great Doctor Edward Masen, always in control. You think every woman wants you. You think you can have any woman, and that you can control them." She breathes harshly as she spews her venom. I know she's stricken with grief, but this is too much. I scoff at her and turn to walk away._

_"__How does it feel to know that you pride yourself on being in control of women, and that ironically, you've lost that control to a woman!"_

_Her words sting, and I turn to see tears streaming down her face, but she smirks once she realizes that she's hit her mark._

_"__All it took was one pill, and poof…. all the control was mine." She literally sings. I frown at her, she's finally gone off the deep end._

_"__I'm calling Dr. Brenner. You…. your condition is worsening." I pull my phone from my pocket and start to dial._

_"__My condition! I lost a baby, Edward, but you lost a hell of a lot more." She spits and throws a small white object at me. I fumble awkwardly and catch it in one hand._

_"__What the hell is this?" I stare at the unlabeled bottle._

_"__It's called control, Edward, something you know nothing about."_

_I shake out some pills into the palm of my hand, and I recognize them almost immediately._

_"__This is Rohypnol. Why do you have these?"_

_"__Pretty, but not smart. All those years at an Ivy League…"_

_"__Why do you have these?" I shout. The truth is, I fear what her response will be. She's been alluding to controlling me all week, but I just put it down to yet another argumentative tactic. _

_"__I gave them to you! The night of your party! The night I became pregnant."_

I've replayed those words in my head a million times over since she uttered them.

I was in complete shock. I told her that she was crazed, out of her mind with grief, and that it was a lie, that she would never do anything like that. But at the mention of _his _name; James, and I was convinced that it wasn't a lie. I didn't stay around to hear the rest of what she had to say. I was too afraid that she would reveal worse things, afraid of what I might do in retaliation. Instead, I walked out on her, and ended up at my brother's. I also ended up telling Emmett what had happened.

It took me months, hell longer, to come to grips with what I'd learned. For the longest time, I convinced myself that it was my own idiocy that caused me to be in this predicament, the hell that has defined the eight years of my marriage. Now, Bella comes into my life and makes me relive it all again and tries to make me see things that I've never wanted to.

It's five o'clock in the evening, and my day ends with me postponing Mrs. Cope's procedure until I feel that her heart is strong enough to withstand surgery. I leave the hospital and find myself at the last place I expect to be.

"Doctor Masen, I don't think you have an appointment today."

"I need to see Doctor Swan, now," I say, barely acknowledging the fact that she's jumped up in protest.

"She's not here…."

"I saw her car in the parking lot," I cut in and knock once before entering her office. She looks up instantly and removes her glasses.

"Doctor Swan, I'm so sorry. I tried…"

"Don't blame her, I barged my way in."

"It's okay, Leah. You can take lunch now."

She waits for Leah to leave. She doesn't look angry that I've just bullied my way into her office, which worries me. Normally, she'd tell me off and throw me out, but that look of pity is back, and I hate it.

"I wasn't… raped."

"Okay," she says softly.

"But…but I understand why you would think that. I'm not that person, Bella. I _was_ a victim, but not in the way you think."

"Maybe you should sit and tell me about it."

"_No_, fuck that! This is _not_ a session! This is Edward and Bella, and I'm telling you this because I want to. _Christ,_ I kissed you the other night!" I grab her, pull her to me and look into her eyes. "We should be talking about _that_.

What happened to me happened in the past. What happened with _us, _the other night; the kiss is happening now. I need you to see that. Things are beginning to happen between us. Don't let my past ruin this."

"How can we have anything if you don't open up to me, Edward?"

"_Damn it, Bella!_" I let go of her and grab handfuls of my hair in frustration.

"I've opened myself up to you repeatedly! What more do you _want_?"

"I want to know the answer to one question. And then I can think about where we go from here."

I blink at her and mentally run down a list of questions that I think she might ask. Then I think about the ones that I really don't want to answer, and silently pray that she doesn't ask one of those.

"Ask the question."

"Did you cheat on Lauren after your wedding ceremony and before you found out about her drugging you?"

"No." I look her in the eye and answer truthfully, not understanding why she chose that particular question.

She steps up to me and holds out her hand. I look at it briefly and take it in mine.

"Is that all you want to know?" I ask hopefully.

"It is for now."

_Of course, it is._

I smile. "You missed me, didn't you?"

"Don't be an ass, Edward," she says with a laugh.

"I'm serious. I'm growing on you." I lean my forehead to hers, closing my eyes, and she doesn't pull away.

"Yes, like an unwanted fungus."

"But, you want me…." I open my eyes. "Right?" My pulse races as I nervously wait for her response.

"Yes…. God help me, I want you," she whispers. I can feel her body tremble.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say those words," I exhale loudly and smile at her. I reach up both hands and cup her beautiful face.

"You can't be my patient anymore, Edward. I can't…"

"Shhh. I know." I catch the stray tear from the corner of her eye with my thumb and brush it away gently. She worriedly bites her lips, and it tears at me. I want to reassure her that she can trust this.

"Don't worry. Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen. We can take this as slowly as you need. I'm in this one hundred percent, Bella. Completely."

We stand there, connected. I'm not exactly sure what this moment means for us, but I'm not going to let anything ruin it.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 22

The deed is done, the choice made. I'm in his arms; feeling like it's the most natural place in the world to be. Only it isn't.

Edward has to be the most complex man, or enigma I've ever crossed paths with. There are more than enough reasons for me not to get involved with him, and yet here I am, ignoring every one.

I'm not sure that I can trust what's happening between us. I'm not particularly sure that I can trust _him_, and yet here I am, falling, no diving, headfirst into this.

"So, now what?" I breathe in his clean, fresh scent.

"I could suggest we go back to my place and make love all day and night."

I look up at him in irritation. "Edward."

"Okay…fine, your place it is then." He smiles mischievously. I push him away, letting him that I'm serious.

"I'm kidding. Come here." He pulls me back to him and tucks a stray wisp of hair behind my ear. "We can do what normal people do when they like and are attracted to each other. It doesn't have to be difficult."

"This situation between you and me is far from normal, and difficult is the mildest word that I would use to describe you. We're pretty much doomed," I say playfully, emphasizing the 'd'.

"We are not doomed, and I'm going to prove to you that we can be normal. Come with me." He laces his fingers with mine and leads me to the door.

"Where are you taking me?"

"I'm taking you to lunch. I'm starving."

"But I have a patient in forty-five minutes. I don't have time to go to a restaurant right now."

"Who says I'm taking you to a restaurant. There's a hotdog cart right down the street from your office," he winks and gives me a dazzling smile. At this moment he's just too adorable and irresistible to not follow.

"Two chili-dogs with the works."

I wait as he orders for both of us. I study everything about his appearance. My eyes travel over the soft texture of his coppery, chaotic hair, and down over his chiseled features. I find myself thoroughly entranced with the way the muscles in his jaw clench, the curve of his lips. My mind conjures up a list of things he could do with those, none of them being "normal" things.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?" He pulls me from my daydream by waving his hand in my line of sight.

"I asked if you wanted anything to drink."

"Oh! Seltzer water… if they have it." I feel my face flush his mouth turns up confidently. He knows that I was shamelessly ogling him.

I smile nervously at the girl who hands Edward our lunch. Her face is turning the same color that I'm sure mine is at this moment. She too, has been caught up in the physical beauty of Edward Masen.

"Thank you." She smiles hesitatingly when he waves her off as she tries to give him his change.

He indicates for me to make my way ahead him to one of the nearby tables in the small park area directly across from the vending cart. It's an area where I've had quick lunches before, mostly of with Rosalie, sometimes with Jake.

He cracks open the bottle of seltzer and slides it and my hotdog toward me. I smile at his chivalry and unwrap my lunch. I stare at the mountain of toppings and suddenly feel prissy. If I'd been with Rosalie or Jake, who've both seen me tuck into messy food before, I would not have cared. I glance at him and see that he's watching me with an amused look.

"You said normal, right?"

"You did this on purpose." I laugh.

He stifles a laugh, his jaw stuffed full, after taking a huge bite. That single bite nearly devoured the entire thing.

I examine the meat stuffed bun, trying to find the best way to eat the damned thing without looking like a pig or ruining my two hundred-dollar, silk blouse.

"Just go for it, princess," he rolls his eyes jokingly. He's enjoying this my discomfort.

"I'm not a princess," I huff and finally just stuff the damned thing into my mouth.

"Woo!" He claps, drawing the attention of several passers-by.

I fight the adolescent urge to flip him the bird.

"Good, isn't it?"

I nod and give him a 'thumbs up'. He laughs and takes a healthy swig of his bottled water. We eat mostly in silence, just watching random joggers run past, mothers strolling their babies and other business people having a quick bite to eat.

We briefly lock eyes a number of times, and I wonder what he's thinking, but don't question him. I can tell that he also wants speak, but for whatever reason, he refrains.

I can't stop from studying his every feature; transfixed by the way his Adam's apple bobs up and down. I feel strange that I find little things like that about him sexy. And it doesn't help that he's sitting across from me in his hospital scrubs.

_Damn it! How am I just noticing this?_

"You're still in your scrubs."

He glances down at himself quickly and frowns.

"You're just noticing this?"

"You came to see me directly from the O.R.?"

"Yeah," he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, "let's just say our last time together was needling at me in the most consistent manner. I had to see you."

"I'm glad you came," I whisper.

"Me too." His piercing green eyes lock with mine, and my stomach flutters. The intensity of his eyes is almost too much to bear. Never has a man been able to affect me so deeply with a single look.

I break his mesmerizing hold on me by looking at my watch. I have thirty minutes before my next appointment, but I need to regain my equilibrium.

"I have to get going soon. Thank you for the normalcy. I enjoyed lunch." I rise to my feet while finishing my drink.

"This was okay, but I think I can do better." He stands up and rolls the empty hotdog wrapper into a ball.

"Better?"

"Yes, drinks tonight...at my brother's pub. You've been there before. It's a nice _normal_ place…fun, friendly. What do you say? I'll pick you up after you get off."

I watch as he tosses the wrapper into the nearby trashcan like he's shooting a jump shot. He turns back to me for an answer.

"For a couple of hours…okay…yes, I'll have drinks with you after work." I ball up my wrapper and shoot it over into the same trashcan. He smiles at me, clearly impressed.

"I bet you can't do it again." He looks around and grabs a wrapper from the ground and balls it up, handing it to me.

I sigh as I take it from him and shoot it into the trashcan again.

He's admiration at my skill is obvious, but he's not giving up so easily.

He finds a couple more discarded wrappers and rolls them. He hands me one and holds onto the other. In perfect basketball form, he heaves the wrapper in the air, and it hits the rim, falling to the ground.

"Fuck."

"Tsk, tsk, Dr. Masen. Did you not eat your Wheaties this morning?" I laugh at his profanity. I take a few steps back. At this point a small crowd has gathered, suddenly interested in our little contest. Edward gives me a look of disbelief.

I hesitate for a moment, measure the distance then shoot the tightly crumpled paper into the can. The crowd cheers, and I curtsy elaborately and head in the direction of my office. I glance coyly over my shoulder at Edward, who is watching me with his hands on his hips and mouth open. I smile widely and walk away..

.

.

.

"You look beautiful," he says as he holds his car door open for me.

"Seriously, Edward, I was wearing this when you saw me earlier." I wait for him to walk around to the driver's side.

"I know it's the same outfit. I meant the entire package. Your hair is down and two more buttons on your blouse are undone. There's a difference." He shuts the door, as his gaze runs over me.

I'm amazed, and if I'm honest, flattered by the level of attention he pays to me. No man has ever been that attentive to me before. He's changed and is wearing a simple black t-shirt and jeans, and looks utterly hot. I'm feeling a bit over-dressed.

"The fact that you're still wearing your glasses adds a sexy touch. You wouldn't believe the things that are going through my mind right now."

"Shut up and drive, Edward." I grin. He returns my smile and licks his bottom lip.

The pub isn't as crowded this time, which I find comforting. A rowdy place is not my idea of unwinding.

"Any place special you'd like to sit, a booth or…"

"A booth is fine."

He chooses a booth in the back corner; and to my surprise, he sits next to me rather than across from me. I'd normally be put off by the act, but nothing with Edward is conventional. I'm becoming comfortable with that.

He taps his fingers in time to the rhythm of the up-beat music.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Dance?" I fluster. "Uh…no…maybe later."

He simply nods and continues his rhythmic tapping.

I remember him dancing with Rosalie. He's good at it, sensual even. The way he moved his hips against hers was incredibly seductive. My flesh dampens at the memory.

"So, you surprised me a little earlier."

"I did? How so?" I lean back to look at him.

"Our little game of basketball…it was enlightening."

"Oh that. Well, you were just surprised that you lost to a woman."

"I didn't lose. It wasn't a win or lose situation." He sounds miffed.

"Oh please, Edward. Female domination scares you shitless," I laugh, and almost instantly recoil as I realize the impact of what I'd just said.

"I…I meant that…."

"Stop it, Bella. Don't even go there." He fixes me with a serious look

"I'm going to get us some drinks. "One of us needs to unwind and fast.".

.

.

.

I've loosened up considerably. Edward and I are enjoying each other.

He tells me all about his family, and how much I would love his sister Alice. He claims we are a lot alike. I'm looking forward to meeting her and his brother someday, I tell him. I wonder if Emmett is anything like Edward; but he assures me that he isn't. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing, but I'm about to find out.

Two familiar people walk through the door hand-in-hand through the door. Rosalie and Emmett notice us almost immediately. They have identical grins on their faces as they spy us. I can see right away that they are perfect for each other.

"This should be fun." Edward comments dryly.

Emmett is huge. He seems to get larger, the closer he comes. You'd think a man that size would be intimidating, but his blue eyes twinkle so brightly that I feel instantly at ease.

"Hey, bro. I didn't know you'd be here tonight," Emmett says as Edward stands to greet him. They exchange an affectionate hug.

"It was a spur of the moment thing."

"Hi, I'm Emmett, Edward's brother, and this is Rosalie." He extends his hand with a wide smile.

"Hello Emmett, I'm Bella. I already know Rosalie, as I'm sure she's already told you." Rose and I eye each other skeptically. Things are going to get interesting as soon as she can get me alone.

"Rosalie, this is my brother, Edward."

"Oh, I'm very familiar with your brother, Sweetheart. Aren't I, Edward?"

"I wouldn't say we were all that familiar. I mean we haven't slept together or anything," Edward retorts snidely.

"Thank God for that," Rosalie and Emmett echo in unison.

"Would you two like to join us?" Edward jerks his head to look at me, silently pleading for me to rescind the offer.

"We'd love to." Rosalie replies in sweet voice. Edward mouths 'thanks a lot', and I brace myself for the Rosalie Hale onslaught.

"Cool, I'll get our drinks and something to snack on. Edward you can help me out."

I watch Edward and Emmett walk away.

"Well, well, well. This is…."

"Get it out of your system, Rose."

"I was just going to say that this…you and Edward, it's happening pretty fast, isn't it?"

"We're just having drinks, Rose…not that I owe you any explanation. I am a grown woman, after all."

"Listen, Bella, I'm not trying to police your life…"

"It sure feels like it." I snap, and she huffs in frustration.

"As I was saying, I'm not trying to police your life. I just want you to be careful. I know he's gorgeous, charming, sexy and successful. Those are his pluses, but his minuses…." She shakes her head at me in warning. "He's married, for God sakes, Bella!"

"Keep your voice down!" I whisper harshly. "His divorce papers were filed weeks ago. We're just getting to know each other. Is that so wrong?"

"Bella…"

"Look Rosalie. I've been over this in my head a million times, and I've been fighting it for months. I can't do it anymore. Yes, there are 'minuses' as you say, and believe me you have _no _idea how severe those minuses are, but the pluses…." I look over at Edward and Emmett, talking at the bar and get lost for a moment. "You can't comprehend the kind of man he is, Rose. I'm just…."

"You're falling in love with him. There is no doubt in my mind."

I remain silent, staring at him until he turns to meet my eyes. He smiles, and that feeling is back. The feeling I have every time he enters a room, or comes into close proximity of me, when he touches me, looks at me, or smiles at me; the feeling that engenders both joy and terror in me.

The men rejoin us at the table, and after a while, Rose loosens up.

We're having good time; so good, that we haven't noticed that the night has practically dwindled away.

The pub emptied out over an hour ago, and Rosalie and Emmett are dancing to a slow tune. Their eyes are locked. You can tell they're both smitten.

Edward and I sit in silence, watching them and glancing back at each other periodically. He nudges me a few times, suggesting that we join them, but I'm not comfortable just yet with being so close to him in a public situation. It's only the four of us, but I decline.

"What are you so afraid of?" He traces my knuckles gently with his fingertip. "We like each other, Bella, and we're obviously attracted to each other, but nothing has to happen that you don't want. It's just dancing, two people holding each other closely, while swaying back and forth to the music...innocent."

"Hardly," I chuckle and lean into him and whisper seductively, "two people who like each other and who are obviously attracted to each other, pressed closely together, swaying back and forth to music…dangerous."

Our faces are inches apart. I can feel the warmth of his breath, when he licks his lips it feels as if he's licking mine.

"Dangerous can be fun sometimes."

"You like danger?" I goad him. I move my glance from his lips to his eyes. They have darkened and he's watching unblinkingly.

"Some danger. And contrary to what you might think, female domination doesn't scare me, I welcome it," he whispers and leans in to run just the tip of his tongue over my bottom lip.

My eyes flutter closed, and I lean into him.

"Martinis taste good on you. I'll make a note of that. In the meantime…."

My eyes snap open as he pulls me from the booth and leads me past Emmett and Rosalie to the back of the pub.

My head swirls in anticipation of what he's about to do.

"Where are we going?"

"To indulge in something a little dangerous." His dark smoldering eyes and deep, sultry voice makes my breath hitch.

My heart thuds wildly as he draws me deep into the darkened area. He lets go of my hand and switches on the light, dimming it to create a pleasant ambience. I realize that we're in the game room.

He braces his hands on either side of the pool table behind me, and moves forward to gently pin me against it.

I'm waiting for the sexual grin or cocky behavior to make an appearance, but he just looks incredibly sexy and irresistible.

"Are you ready?" He whispers silkily in my ear.

"For what?" He senses my apprehension, I'm sure, and he leans right against and reaches for something behind me.

"Darts… three out of five wins." He kisses me on the cheek. "Tsk, tsk, Bella. What exactly did you think I was asking?" He laughs out loud and moves to switch on the electronic dartboard.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with, Edward Masen." I raise my arm and throw one of the darts at the board before he has a chance to move out of the way. He dodges adeptly and turns to look at me with a shocked expression.

"Christ! I said a _little _danger …Sheesh."

"Best three out of five, Doctor."

Instead of five games, the competition ends with ten games, and I win eight games to two. He's pissed off, and I find it both adorable and sexy.

He finally draws Rosalie and Emmett into the competition and things go from bad to worse.

"They're sharks!" Emmett yells, and Rosalie and I burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

"Okay, okay. Enough!" Edward loudly silences our laughter. "New round…best three out of five wins."

"Uh…we've played about twenty-five games. I don't see the point in beating a dead horse," I tease.

"Oh, you think you're so funny, don't you? Well, here's one sport you won't be able to win."

He reaches me in two strides and hoists me over his shoulder.

"The sport of manhandling, perfect, Edward." Rosalie comments dryly.

"Put me down, Edward. Now!" I yell, but can't contain my humor. "You're a sore loser. Just take your punishment like a man."

"Funny you should say that," he says and whacks me on the backside, and I yelp in surprise. "I'll take my beating like a man if you take yours like a woman."

"This is beyond inappropriate. Rosalie, don't just stand there, help me!"

"Pluses and minuses, Bella. Pluses and minuses," she sings and strolls off with Emmett.

"Emmett!" I whine.

"What do we say, bro?" Edward spins around so and Emmett bends down to look at me.

"Never, ever, try and one-up a Masen. Good luck, Bella," he responds with a booming laugh.

"Oh, you have got be kidding me! Edward!"

"How many licks can you stand, Dr. Swan?"

"Your behavior almost certainly ensures that there won't be a second date." I spit from my upturned position.

"You mean a third."

"You know what I mean, Edward. Now put me down."

"As you wish."

He crosses the room and splays me out on the pool table, and stands between my legs, staring down at me with hooded eyes.

"This isn't what I had in mind when I said to put me down." My voice sounds breathless.

"Me either, and yet here we are."

"Edward…"

"You are so…." he reaches up to trace my exposed collar bone, "…beautiful. The things I could do to you right here, right now, like this." He draws his hand down and my breathing picks up.

"It's going to nearly destroy me to keep stopping myself, Bella."

I hold my breath, waiting to see how far he'll go.

"But I will." He steps back and holds extends his hand, and I take it, allowing him to pull me up. He unexpectedly straightens my rumpled skirt and smooths my hair.

"I'm sorry. I got a little carried away, I hate losing." He shrugs sheepishly.

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Is this really going to ruin my chance of a third date?"

"It should."

"Will it though?"

"I don't know. Let me think about it," I say sarcastically and look up at the ceiling, feigning deep contemplation.

"You're really thinking about this?" He sounds worried, and I think it's hilarious.

"Our next date has to be on my terms."

"Okay," he agrees immediately. "Whatever you want."

I tap my chin for a moment, this time truly in thought.

"I want a quiet dinner."

"Fine."

"And a movie."

"I can do that." He crosses his arms and snorts.

"And I want them on my territory."

"Done. Come, dance with me."

"No…I can't. I have to be getting home. I have an early day tomorrow."

"Oh, all right…well let me grab my keys, and I'll take you home."

"No, that's okay. Rosalie is probably saying goodnight to your brother as well. She'll take me home."

"Are you sure? It's not a problem."

"Tonight was good. I enjoyed myself. I think it's appropriate for us to say goodnight here."

"Trying to avoid the goodnight kiss on your doorstep, I see."

I'm not so much afraid of kissing him again, as what I know the kiss would lead to. I meant what I said about enjoying the night. Things have gone better than I'd anticipated, even with Rosalie in our company most of the night, but there were moments where the sexual attraction between us was severely tested. We were able to draw back from those feelings all night, but I know that once we're alone and kissing, things would not be as easy to control.

"Patience. The goodnight kiss will happen when the time is right. See me to the door."

I grab his hand and pull him to the entrance.

"Patience is something I'm definitely learning with you."

Rosalie and Emmett are passionately kissing, and Edward snorts in mock irritation.

I'm over-joyed that Rosalie has finally found someone that seems to make her happy. Emmett strikes me as the perfect guy for her.

"They look perfect together," I extol. "I think he'll be good for her."

"As long as he can control that mouth of hers, it should work out fine." Edward deadpans, and I playfully swat at him.

.

.

.

"Okay, I'll admit, Edward's not _that_ bad."

"Mmhm."

"He's actually quite fun and charming."

"Mmhm."

I'm wrapped up in my thoughts and not really listening to Rose. She keeps glancing at me, and when we stop at a red light, she turns in her seat to look pointedly at me.

"I still think this thing between the two of you is…what words are the words I'm looking for?" She taps her chin dramatically.

"The words you're looking for are, _none of my damned business."_

"Ouch." She says sarcastically.

"Okay, fine, since the subject of you and Doc Masen is off limits, can we talk about how wonderful Emmett and I are?"

"Knock yourself out," I chuckle.

.

.

.

I lie in bed, thinking about Edward. I wonder if he's thinking about me as well.

"This is ridiculous." I chastise and grab my cellphone. I send him a text that simply reads 'thinking of you,' and I instantly wish that I could somehow stop it from reaching him.

While I'm mentally kicking myself, he responds.

"I feel childish detailing my feelings via a text message. Can I call you?"

My phone rings before I can respond. I take a deep breath and answer, but before I can speak, he cuts in.

"So, you're thinking about me? Are they all good thoughts?" He sounds happy and relaxed. I imagine him naked beneath those black satin sheets.

_Stop it, Bella._

"Yes, they're all pleasant thoughts."

"That's good to hear, and yes, you are on my mind too. In case you're wondering, you've been on my mind since you left."

"That's…good to hear." I slink down beneath my sheets.

"Mmhm… so, Bella?"

"Yes?"

"What are you wearing?"

"Oh, that's so typical and very clichéd of you," I laugh.

"I'm glad I didn't disappoint you," he laughs in return.

And suddenly we both fall awkwardly silent.

"Anyway…I just wanted you to know."

"That you were thinking about me. I got that, but what were you thinking? Were you wishing that I were there right now, that you had allowed me to drive you home so we could have had that kiss after all? Maybe, you're thinking about what could've happened after we shared said kiss?"

I realize that he's right; that is exactly what I'd been thinking and wishing for.

"Were you thinking about what my mouth would taste like, and about what my hands would be doing to you while I was devouring your tongue with my own?

I bet you were wondering what the kiss would have been like. It would have started off chastely; becoming slow and lingering, and before either of us could control ourselves it would be wild and passionate, with me pressing you against the door."

I feel that I should stop him, but his sultry, velvet voice and the thought of what he would have done, has my body responding, almost against my will.

"I know you're thinking that you need to stop this, to stop me, but your body disagrees. Don't bother denying it, I can read your response by the way you're breathing, Bella."

"Is that your medical opinion?"

"You tell me, Doctor."

"I don't have the same medical expertise."

"You can't tell me that you don't study your patients' body language. I know that you've studied mine."

I can hear the rustle of his sheets as he repositions himself. I try hard not to think of that.

"What would you do if I kissed you like that at your door?"

"I'm not answering that."

"You're not answering because technically, you wouldn't know what to do."

"Why, because you're so good at what you do?"

"Because_ I_ wouldn't know what to do if you kissed _me_ that way, Bella. I would be mad with want. There would be no end to the amount of pleasure I would show you, the places I would take your body."

He paints one hell of a picture, and I'd be lying if I said that he isn't affecting me in the most intimate way. He's spoken this way before, but there is no smugness or arrogance in his speech this time, and he's not using sexual innuendo as a diversionary tactic. The power that he can exert over me with his honesty and sensuality continues to disarm me, and this vulnerability scares me to death.

"Because if you were thinking any of those things, you were only thinking what I have been."

"I.-it's too soon, Edward," I stammer. I feel flustered, my body quivering with repressed want.

"I know. Although, a man can fantasize."

I silently listen to his breath and the subtle rustle of his sheets.

His velvet voice lays one final caress on my scorching body.

"Have a good night, Bella."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 23

"Good morning, Baby Sis." I kiss her cheek as I enter. "Where's that husband of yours?"

"He's supposed to be at the hardware store, picking up primer for the walls."

"Supposed to be, huh? Where's Josh, and what's that shit you're wearing on your head?" I joke.

"Josh is with Jasper, I'm sure at the damned toy store instead of doing what he's supposed to be doing, and this…." she gestures to her head angrily, 'this' is what's going to keep the paint out of my hair."

I walk through the living room, and she's right behind me. I feel…happier today; like I'm on cloud fucking nine or something. It's been two days since Bella and I have seen or talked to each other, but we're in a good place. I want to see her badly, but fight the urge to just pop in on her at any time I feel like it. I keep reminding myself that I need to take it slowly.

My sister is still scowling at me.

"Are you angry at me about something?"

"You _do _know why you're here today, don't you, Edward?"

"To help you paint the attic." I shove my hands into my pockets and rock back on my heels. I survey work that Jasper has put into the house. He really has worked hard to give Alice her dream home.

"If you know that you're helping me paint today, then why are you dressed like that? And stop that damned whistling, it's driving me nuts!"_._

It's now my turn to scowl at her. She's in a mood, and something tells me it's not just about Jasper, primer or the toy store.

"What's going on with you? You seem on edge."

"Nothing is _going on with me_. I just want to get this room painted. It's been weeks; and now, when I finally get Jasper to agree to do it, he drags his feet. I swear when he gets back I'm going to castrate him!" She leaves me in the living room and stomps up the stairs. I feel sorry for Jasper once _he_ gets back.

As if on cue, he walks through the door with Josh on his shoulders. I can tell from the bags they're carrying, that they've been to both the hardware and toy stores. Alice was right.

"Boy, are you in trouble," I warn as he notices me.

"Damn it! What did I do now?" he sighs.

"Hi, Uncwle Edward!" Josh runs to me as soon as Jasper lets him down.

"Hey, buddy! How are you?"`

"Fwine! I gotta show mommy the new toy daddy bwought me. Bye!" He gives me a quick hug and runs up the stairs with his toy in hand.

"What's this about trouble?" Jasper worriedly asks as he pulls cans from the bag.

"I don't know." I shrug. "But if I were you, I'd plan on wearing a protective cup."

"A what? Why?" He asks in alarm.

"Something about castration."

He visibly winces.

"Christ, I really don't know what her problem is these days. She's snippy and unhappy; crying over nothing all the time."

"Sounds like she could be pregnant," I joke and wait for the denial. He just stares at me, then turns to read the directions on the paint can.

"She's pregnant?" I whisper so only the two of us will hear.

"I don't know…I think that she may be. I haven't mentioned my suspicions to her, and I'm actually kind of surprised she hasn't said anything. The only thing she's been on about; is how much we need to get the damned attic painted."

"Jasper and Edward! This attic isn't going to paint itself!" she yells from two floors up. We share a look of trepidation and make our way upstairs.

Alice's mood seems to change once she's satisfied with the progress we've made. Jasper, Josh, and I have painted until we're exhausted. Alice makes sandwiches, and we all stop for a lunch break.

"The room looks good guys. I'm really impressed." She hands out cans of soda. "I may just have the three of you paint the room down the hall from our bedroom. I'm thinking of turning it into office space."

"Oh no, more pwainting! Mommy I don't want to pwaint. I'm twired!" Josh whines.

"Office space," I scoff. "The two of you had better think about turning that room into a nursery," I whisper over to Jasper. Alice looks up, and he quickly silences me.

"Do you have something to say, dear brother?"

"I said…." Jasper shakes his head vigorously. He should feel lucky that I don't feel like quarreling with my sister today.

"I said I'm done with painting for the day," I lie. "I have plans for later."

"Would those plans include a mysterious auburn-haired beauty we have yet to meet?"

_Fucking Emmett._

I smile enigmatically. Now is not the time to talk about my newfound relationship. It's still too fresh, and I'm just not comfortable with discussing it with anyone other than Bella yet.

"Hey Josh, what do you say we go to the park on Friday?"

"Yay! Can we go to the one wif the weally big jungwle gywm?" he gasps with excitement.

"Yup, that's the one."

"Yaaaay! Mommy, daddy, can I?"

Jasper and Alice both give their approval, and Josh nearly splits his face, he's smiling so widely. I can't wait to be an uncle again.

.

.

.

It's nearing seven p.m., and I'm ready to leave. I slip off to call Bella. She answers on the first ring.

_Someone's misses me too._

"Hey you."

"Hi." She answers nonchalantly, but I can hear the happiness in her voice.

"How are you? I haven't spoken to you in a while."

"I'm okay. I've just been busy."

"What about tonight? Are you busy, I mean?"

"I don't have anything planned. I'm just going to catch up on some reading and probably watch some TV, nothing special." She sounds so relaxed, and I picture her curled up on the sofa in sweats.

"What do you say we make good on those date plans we discussed?"

"Date plans?"

"You remember…a quiet dinner, a movie, on your territory."

"Oh…right…that."

I'm wait nervously, sensing her hesitation. Maybe it's too soon.

"Tonight will be fine."

Now I'm smiling like an idiot, I'm elated that she's agreed to spend time with me.

"Okay. I'll see you in about an hour?" I check my watch.

"An hour's fine. See you soon."

"All right. Soon." I whisper.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I like Seafood." She ends the call.

My mind mentally scrabbles, trying to figure out where to get the best seafood in town. At times like these I wish I paid more attention when listening to Alice and Mom recite to restaurant reviews. I grab my keys and rejoin Jasper and Alice. They're canoodling on the couch.

"Stop that you two. Where can I get delicious seafood? And preferably not too far from here?" I rush out.

"What's your rush?" Jasper wiggles his brows.

"You want it fresh or cooked?" Alice asks.

I ignore Jasper. "You know I can't cook! I meant a good seafood restaurant that does take-out."

"Oh, well, there's a really elegant place about ten minutes from here called _Voltaire. _The cuisine is exquisite, and they do great seafood."

"_Voltaire? _Sounds Russian." I frown.

"Voltaire is actually a French name, Edward." Jasper educates me.

"Whatever, as long as they serve seafood. Thanks for the info. I'll see you guys later." I head for the door and turn to them, almost forgetting.

"Tell Josh I'll be by to pick him up at noon on Friday."

.

.

.

I arrive at Bella's apartment with the requested seafood dinner. The wonderful aroma emanating from the bags is making me salivate.

She buzzes me into the lobby and, and I hurriedly make my way up to her apartment and lightly push the doorbell. She answers looking stunning; fresh-faced and hair flowing. I my earlier fantasizing wasn't too far off, instead of sweats she's wearing a royal blue, figure hugging workout suit of some sort.

"Wow…you look…."

"It's just leisure wear. I figured…" She fidgets nervously.

"You look perfect," I quickly reassure her, and she does …look perfect. She _is_ perfect.

"Thank you. Come in." I glance around the apartment, and I'm impressed. It's a really nice place, contemporary furniture with classic lines; warm, muted color tones giving off an overall effect of serenity and comfortable elegance. Her home reflects her personality, generous of spirit, with aesthetic beauty.

"What do you have there?" She tries to peek into the bags.

"This is dinner," I laugh.

"It smells incredible.

"Well, I think I held up my end so far with providing good food. Um…movie wise, I guess we can select something from my Netflix account. Although, I should tell you I hardly ever use the damn thing. I don't even recall setting it up. Probably wouldn't have at all if it weren't for my brother and his inane need to binge watch programs while visiting my house."

"It's alright, we can utilize mine, binge watching goes on an awful lot over here, "she laughs, reaching for remote. "Ah, here we are. A little Sex, Lies and Videotape, Dr. Masen?" She asks, quirking an eyebrow. My lips purse, which causes her to laugh.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist," she slightly dials back her humor when she sees my expression. I know she's teasing, and I give her a smirk to show that the comment hasn't bothered me.

She takes one of the bags from my arms and leads me into the kitchen. I suddenly realize that I didn't bring anything to drink.

"Damn it!"

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized I didn't bring anything to drink. I'll make a quick run to the store." I place the bag on the counter and reach for my keys.

"I have plenty here. There's no need to make an unnecessary trip. Plates are in the cabinet, silverware in the drawer."

I grab two plates and some silverware; open the containers and spoon food onto the plates. I hope what I've chosen will please her. I want this evening to go well.

"I have red and white wine, the white is chilled, and I also have some beer, water and soda in the fridge…. some iced tea…"

"Um…beer works." She walks to the refrigerator and takes out two Coronas.

"Mmm. That smells really good." She peeks over my shoulder and breathes in the aroma.

"Yes, it does. The waitress swore that we'd love this. It's sautéed soft-shell crab and rock lobster twice baked soufflé. It comes with garden salads and a sourdough loaf that I'm supposed to warm."

She quickly takes the bread and places it in the oven, then helps me to carry the rest of the food into the living room. Our dinner is obviously going to be a little more intimate than I'd expected. It seems we're going to be eating on the sofa in front of the television.

"Is this okay?" she gestures.

"As long as it's okay with you, it's okay with me." She gives me a sweet smile and returns to the kitchen for the bread.

"Shall we eat?" She sits wonderfully close to me and we dig into our meals.

"Mmmm. This is..." The doorbell chimes loudly. "That must be one of my neighbors. I'll be right back, please eat, it will get cold otherwise."

Silently, I praise my sister for recommending Voltaire's, after I taste the delicious lobster soufflé. I'll certainly be making a return visit to their establishment. Maybe Bella will accompany me on night out next time.

Suddenly, I hear her raise her voice, it's not loud enough for me to discern what's being said, but she clearly sounds agitated. I hope she's not having trouble with a neighbor. I move closer, in case she needs my help. The front door is open, and I glimpse Bella in the hallway. I can't see the person she's talking to, but it's definitely a male, and he sounds agitated.

I hear Bella telling him to leave over and over again.

"We're done, Jake. You ended us when you consciously made the decision to be unfaithful. And please stop imposing on my neighbors to let you up here. I intend to notify everyone in this building not to let you in again. Please leave now." She sounds determined and angry

_Jacob._

I choose not to inject myself into the situation, it seems as if she has matters under control, besides it's their business, not mine. But I can't resist eavesdropping. My heart thuds as I consider the possibility of her taking him back.

"I did _not _sleep with Tanya in Florida, Bella! My God, why won't you believe me!"

"It doesn't matter, Jacob. None of it does. The truth is that I'm not enough for you. I refuse to be in a relationship with a man who doesn't think I'm worthy enough to remain faithful to. Now please leave."

"No! I'm not going anywhere…not until you listen to me."

"Let go of my arm, Jacob, or we're going to have a problem."

"I'm not letting you go, Bella. I love you!"

I've heard enough; he's here without her consent and touching her against her will. I move to stand behind her. She gasps, and his eyes widen.

"Let her go," I say calmly.

"You? W-what the hell are you…" He glances back and forth between Bella and me. His expression quickly morphs from confusion to rage.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Bella manages to rip her arm away from him and takes a step back.

"I don't owe you any explanations, Jacob Black. Now, I want you off my property! Go!"

"Are you seeing this guy? No…I know you can't be." He laughs sardonically. He turns his back and places a hand on his forehead.

Bella and I exchange a look, but remain silent. I'm tempted to say and do plenty, but I exercise restraint. I need to respect Bella and the prospect of our growing relationship.

"I cannot believe that you are preaching to me about fidelity, and here you are hooking up with the biggest sleaze in Chicago! Yes, I know all about this guy, Bella, so don't bother defending him."

Bella is livid now.

"I'm not going to ask you again to leave, Jacob."

"You know, I should've known." He spins around to face us. "That whole bidding war in Florida was the beginning of this, wasn't it? I could tell then that he wanted you. I must've looked like an idiot to you the whole time."

"No more of an idiot than I looked when I walked in on you and Tanya in _our _hotel room; the same hotel room where you proposed to me to less than twenty-four hours earlier!" Bella retorts then throws up her hands and turns to walk back inside. Jacob grabs hold of her arm and pulls her back.

"Hey!" I snap. "I told you to let go of her."

"Edward, it's okay. Just…just wait inside for me."

"Look, man, from what I hear, you have your own shit to deal with. Bella is my business. So, back off."

"Excuse me?" Bella whirls around in shock

"Is that right?" I step up to him.

"That's right." He advances. "How's therapy going?" He sneers, and even though I know that he has no idea what Bella and I have discussed during our sessions, the last thread of my restraint snaps.

"You don't want to do this with me, Man. Trust me."

"Is that a threat? Am I supposed to be afraid?"

"It's not a threat, and you don't have to be afraid, but if you grab her like that again…well, like she said, we're going to have a problem."

I'm breathing roughly as we stand eye to eye. He glances over at Bella, who remains silent, and I wonder what's going through her mind at seeing me like this again.

"Oh really? What are you gonna do, tough guy?" He shoves me in the chest, but I barely budge.

"Don't touch me again. I'm warning you."

He gives me another shove, and I grip him by the collar.

"You're a slow learner. I told you _not_ to touch me again!" Bella moves swiftly to defuse the situation.

"Okay, that's enough…Jake, go. _Now._"

He can't leave even if he chose to because I'm practically throttling him.

"Edward?" Bella pleads with me and tries to pry my hands free. My attention is squarely on him, but I can feel her hand on my wrist, and I lessen my grip.

I shove him away roughly, and he stumbles a bit as he straightens his collar. We glare at each other murderously.

Jacob backs away, never taking his eyes off Bella, I keep mine locked on him. He backs down the hallway until he reaches the elevator. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath to get myself under control. I turn to Bella, who doesn't look happy at all.

"I'm sorry." I apologize gruffly and realize how harsh my voice sounds; my residual anger is not directed at her. She crosses her arms and looks away.

Reluctantly, I step inside the apartment.

"I'll just get my keys and wallet. Enjoy dinner; the soufflé is really good.

"Don't go." She reaches for my hand. I glance at it briefly then accept the gesture, as she leads me back over to the sofa.

.

.

.

We have dinner after all, even though the food has gone cold and is somewhat ruined. I was convinced, after my altercation with Jacob, that she'd want nothing to do with me. I've never been so grateful to be wrong.

"So, has he been harassing you?"

"No…no, nothing like that. Jake just feels like I'm not treating the situation fairly. He thinks I'm too eager to just walk away and not fight for everything we'd built."

"How long were you together?"

"Over five years. We met in college and had a pretty much on and off, relationship for a short while but, really, we've been exclusive for about five. Well, I assumed that we were, until I found him with another woman."

I nod, recalling the sordid details from when we were in Miami, so I decide not to make her relive them.

"Did you enjoy the food?"

"Yes, I did. It was amazing. Thank you."

She scoots into the corner of the couch to get comfortable, and for some odd reason I feel anxious, even this small act of retreating from me, fills me with an unreasonable fear. This feeling is new to me, and I'm not sure what to make of it.

I'm sitting on the edge of the sofa, fiddling with my beer bottle and looking anywhere but at her as I try to regain control of my emotions.

"Mind if a switch to something different?"

"No, I don't mind," she says softly and smiles.

Bella and I are now sitting close, swept up in Titanic; well, she's swept up in looking at the DiCaprio guy, and I'm caught up in the way her bare foot absentmindedly brushes against my thigh. It's an innocent act, but it's stirring something in me. Her skin looks so smooth, even there. My hand twitches, I want to caress that foot.

I clear my throat and adjust my position.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm good."

"I thought this is your favorite movie." She teases.

"It _is _my favorite movie." I reluctantly turn my attention to the screen.

The love scene in the car is playing out, and Bella fidgets. I can't focus on the movie any longer.

I gently tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear and run my hand down to back of her neck. She turns to me, and my God, she's so beautiful, all I can think of is that she looks as if she wants me to kiss her. I hesitate, remembering that she wants to take this slowly, and I want to prove to her that it's not just about a physical connection with me. To my surprise she leans in, she doesn't kiss me, she simply closes her eyes and presses her forehead to mine.

"Nothing is ever easy with you," she whispers. I slide my hand to gently grip her neck. She finally captures my lips with hers, and my body erupts in warmth that starts from the center of my chest and rapidly spreads to every part.

Her tongue touches mine, and I burn for more. I pull her across me to straddle my lap. We moan as the intimate parts of our bodies make contact. I know that she feels my desire for her, hard and throbbing. I feel her too, moist heat, an accelerant on the fire already burning in me. It's a fierce battle of mind over matter, to resist the desire to fit my fingers into the top of those pants and slowly drag them down.

She rakes her fingers through my hair, gently tugging as she kisses me passionately. My hips, seemingly have developed a mind of their own and thrust rhythmically, emulating the movement of our tongues.

Bella emits a breathless whimper; her lips remain locked with mine. My hand slides up the back of her sweater. She's not wearing a bra, and I revel in the naked, silkiness of her skin.

"You feel so good." I murmur against her mouth.

She pulls back and looks at me; the emotion in her eyes sends a tremor through my erection. She feels it and squirms.

"I'm inviting you in, Edward." The enormity of her words leaves me momentarily speechless.

"Are you sure?" I finally murmur, as I gently run my fingers through her hair. I stare deeply into her eyes, testing her sincerity.

She climbs off me and switches the television off. She tugs me up from the couch and leads me toward the stairs. She turns to kiss me again, softly this time. My mind races at the thought of all the things I want to do to her, with her.

"I want you so much," I whisper.

"Show me." She pulls me up the stairs. I stop, and she frowns. "What's wrong?"

"We can't, Bella." It's as if my body is turning on me, vehemently protesting my stupidity. If certain, aching parts of it could speak; it would be hurling invectives at my stupid brain.

Bella looks crushed. "Um…okay." She looks away from me.

"Bella…it's not you."

"Famous words."

"It's not like that…Bella…" I struggle to explain.

"It would be so easy for me to just do this, Bella."

"Obviously not." She says and looks down abjectly. I gently pull her chin up and tilt it back up so she can see me.

"What I mean is…you know my past, but I want so much to show you that I can be different. I want to show you that I'm worthy of being in your bed, making love to you, waking up next to you. And hopefully, cook you breakfast to show you how much it all means to me."

"You don't cook."

"I can make an omelet."

She smiles weakly, but the sense of rejection is still evident.

I pull her close and wrap my arms around her. "I know you feel how much I want you."

"It's a natural reaction, Edward. I'm sure you have it quite regularly."

"Not like this. Not like when I'm with you. It's true, Bella, no woman has ever made me feel the way you do."

I tilt her chin and lean down to kiss her, deeply, passionately, like a condemned man gaining a reprieve. I feel her shudder in my arms, and I intensify the kiss, until we both need to come up to breathe. I rest my forehead to hers as we both struggle to regain control.

"Next time _nothing_ will stop me. I promise you that. See me to the door?"

She nods and takes my hand. I open the door and step across the threshold. I turn to her, she is the most delectable, desirable woman I've ever seen, hair tousled, her already pouty lips even more swollen, swollen from kissing me, _I _did that to her. Her wide, expressive eyes are still clouded by desire, for _me_. God, what fool would walk away from this, I fight the overwhelming urge to have her right up against this door, but some things are more important. _She's _more important to me. I must exercise the things that she's worthy of. Patience. Respect. Love.

"This is twice that you've rejected me." She bravely jokes.

"This is not rejection. This is patience." I reach up to caress her cheek. "It's actually quite refreshing to court you."

"Court?" She giggles.

"Yes, and I'm going to do it diligently." I lean in and place a lingering kiss on her cheek. "Have a good night. I'll call you tomorrow."

I caress her cheek one last time before I close the door behind me_._

I lean up against her door, and I shake my head, mentally berating myself. I need my head examined.

"Fuck! I really need to look into finding myself another shrink."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 24

I'm in a consult with a new patient. He reminds me of Edward. Well, not a lot, but there are definite similarities, chiseled features, same height and build; yet so far from the person I'm comparing him to. I smile wryly to myself, similarities aside, the total package just doesn't add up to the near perfection that is Edward Masen. Edward is more than just physically beautiful. He has such a strong presence, his confidence, sometimes bordering on domination, is softened by his warm heart and personality. I shake myself from my mental wandering. _You're a professional for God's sake, how can this man permeate every thought you have?_

This patient is having marital problems and was referred to me by a mutual friend that he prefers to keep anonymous.

He's Ryan Jeffries, a young lawyer. His wife, Amanda, it seems, is not overly thrilled at the thought of therapy. So much so, that she decided not to show up for their first scheduled session. He was expecting her to meet him in our reception area. Poor man, he was so embarrassed to admit that she had not shown.

According to Mr. Jeffries, he caught his wife being unfaithful. They're newlywed and in their early twenties. I've rarely seen a man this shattered. Generally, anger and humiliation are the dominant emotions when I first meet a person in this situation. But this man seems like he's having difficulty in burying the hurt. He will not be able to properly deal with his feelings until he and his wife are truly open and honest with each other.

"Mr. Jeffries, I understand why you've decided to seek help, and I would be happy to help in any way that I can. I'm pleased that you're here, but to really help you and to save your relationship, which I understand is what you want, it is vital that I meet with you and your wife as a couple. It takes two people to make a relationship work. Do you think she could be persuaded to attend future sessions?"

He runs his hand through his hair a few times, and I'm unintentionally, reminded again of Edward.

"My wife…she's a little embarrassed about coming to therapy. In fact, she's embarrassed about the whole ordeal that's put us here. She's not quite ready to talk openly about her infidelity."

"It's an understandable response. Do you think that perhaps you could talk to her, now that you've met me, and make her feel more comfortable about coming? I would like to schedule you for another joint appointment, but before I do, I suggest you speak to your wife about coming to see me privately for her first session. Maybe she'll feel more comfortable if she meets me alone at first. And then, at the next session, I could try to accommodate you both by perhaps starting the session with her on her own and then bringing you in. We'll play it by ear, Mr. Jeffries. My aim is to help both of you, I'll do whatever you need. I'll schedule a tentative appointment for your wife for next week. She'll hopefully keep it, and then we can move ahead from there." I pull out my Blackberry and slot in the appointment and forward the details to Leah.

"I'll make sure she attends, Doctor Swan. She has to." He says determinedly, as he stands.

"I hope to see you again, Mr. Jeffries, you and your wife. Please stop and see my receptionist on your way out, and she'll provide you with an appointment card.

My office phone rings.

"Your mother is on the line for you, Doctor Swan."

"Thank you, Leah. Put her through."

While I wait, I try to collect my thoughts. I haven't spoken with my parents since I left Miami a month ago, and I've yet to them about what happened with Jake. They're still under the impression that we're engaged.

"Hi, Mom!"

"Don't you _Hi Mom_ me, Isabella Marie Swan. Why haven't you called? You've been avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you, Mom. I've just been really busy with work." I wince at the lie.

"Sweet Pea, I know work is important, but you're engaged! You and I should be planning your wedding. What do you say to your father and I coming to visit you soon, then we can get started?"

I hate lying to my mother, and I'm sure she can tell every time I try.

Silence permeates the line, I'm thinking of something to say, and she's waiting for me to say it.

"Mom, I would love for you and Dad to come and visit, but there isn't going to be a wedding." I finally say.

"Oh, no. What happened?" She exclaims, dismayed and worried, I can tell. I don't want to get into explicit detail over the phone, especially not at work.

"It's complicated, Mom, but I promise that I'll talk to you about it later, when I get home."

"Are you alright, Sweet Pea? You sound…"

"I'm fine, Mom. Give Dad a hug and kiss for me, and I'll call you later."

"I look forward to your call, sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you too…bye."

I know that I'll have to keep my promise. Sugarcoating the situation would probably be best. If I tell her the truth, she'll tell my father, and then there'll be hell to pay. I'm angry at Jake, but I don't want to see him harmed.

I felt that way the other night. I was so sure that he and Edward were going to tear one another apart. Thankfully, I was able to get the situation under control before that could happen. Edward surprised me when he backed off when I asked him to, but I know it won't be the last I hear about it from Jake. He's figured out that something's going on between Edward and me, and he's not happy.

Other than that, our night went well; that is, until I practically threw myself at him, and he rejected me for a second time.

I had a hard time accepting his 'It's not you, it's me' excuse, given his penchant for sex, in fact, by his admission he loves it. So, for him to walk away from it twice, made me believe that he didn't really want me.

As a patient, his sexual advances were almost relentless. Now, every time there's an opportunity for intimacy, he pulls back. His shift in behavior leaves me feeling unsettled, uncertain, something I'm not used to.

My cellphone rings, and I can't contain my silly grin when I see that it's him.

"Hello." I answer in a lilting voice.

"Wow, someone's in a good mood. Please tell me it has everything to do with me?"

"Mostly."

"Mmmm. I'll accept that. How's your day?"

"It's been good, pretty slow, actually. I don't have that many patients scheduled. How's yours?"

"Just the opposite. I'm probably going to be in surgery most of the day and well into the night." He sounds exhausted, and he lets out a yawn. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay. You sound burned out already, and it's only midmorning."

"I know. I got paged to come in late last night. One of my patient's took a turn for the worse, and I had to schedule an emergency quad-bypass. I thought I'd be able to see you today, possibly take you to lunch, but I don't see it happening. Things are still pretty hectic around here."

"It's fine." I try to hide my disappointment. I haven't seen him in a couple of days, and to my surprise, I find that I miss him.

"I miss you."

He renders me speechless as he confesses to my feeling exactly.

"May…maybe you can come by later, after you're done with work?"

"Hold on a second…thanks, Jess." I wait while he talks to someone. "Hello?"

"Hi, I'm still here."

"Listen, I have to go, but I'll try and see you tonight, if not, I'll call you a little later."

"Okay…bye."

"Oh hey, I'm taking my nephew to the park tomorrow. I know it's not romantic or anything, but I'd love it if you'd come along."

"I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be. We can discuss it later; I have to go. Bye, Bella."

I mentally kick myself for not telling him. The truth is, I miss him too.

The day passes quickly, and I decide to work late to catch up on some paperwork, as I don't have anything else to do. When Leah hears of my plans, she decides that she'd remain behind as well. Although she says that she has work to do, I suspect that she's only staying behind to keep me company.

I order in dinner for us both to show her my appreciation.

"Thank you for dinner, Doctor Swan."

"You're welcome, Leah, and thank you for staying late. I'm sure you have better things to do."

"Are you kidding me? My roommate is out with her boyfriend, and I'm new in town, so I don't have many friends. It's just me and my Jack Russell terrier, Milo."

"I'm sure he keeps you on your toes." I chuckle.

"He does, and he's great company, but I can't wait to delve into some new social activity. It gets pretty boring going straight home to my pet every night, no matter how energetic and entertaining he is."

Leah's young, extremely pretty and a vibrant woman. She seems fun to be around. I wouldn't generally make friend with my employees, as I like to keep my professional and personal life separate, but she is a real sincere person, and I like her.

"We should hang out sometime. I don't have a wide circle of friends either, but Rosalie and I go out after work often, and she insists that I join her in these God-awful kickboxing classes."

"Oh, my goodness, I love kickboxing! I used to attend class often back home. I could never find anyone to go with me though."

"Then your search is over. We'll all go together," I insist.

"Thank you so much, Doctor Sw…"

"Please…call me, Bella," I cut her off. She smiles exuberantly.

We enjoy easygoing conversation over dinner. She seems ecstatic and eager to spend time with Rosalie and me. We then spend a couple of hours working and then get ready to leave for the night.

It's nine o'clock, and I still haven't heard from Edward. I think it's safe to assume that I won't be seeing him tonight.

"Everything is in order and filed, Doc…Bella." Leah hurriedly corrects herself at my raised eyebrow. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, I think we're pretty good. Besides, it's getting kind of late. You should get going. Thanks a lot, Leah."

"Any time." She quickly gathers her things.

I decide to send Edward a text before I pack up and leave as well.

I wish him a good night and let him know that I'd be working late. I finally relent and end the text by saying what I really feel, "I miss you," I type, then stare at it for long moments, before I pluck up the courage to send it.

I know I shouldn't feel so afraid to admit my feelings, especially if they're genuine, but I can't help keeping my guard up. I've always been cautious about guarding my heart, and after the fiasco of my last relationship I'm even more reticent. With Edward, and his reputation and deadly charms, I feel like I need to be extra cautious.

Leah pokes her head in and whispers.

"There's someone here to see you. Should I tell them you've gone for the day?"

Thinking that it must be Edward, I don't bother to question the person's identity.

"No, no. That's fine. Give me a few minutes then send him in."

I quickly check my appearance and loosen and fluff out my hair. I remove my glasses and apply lip gloss.

Three short taps sound and the door slowly opens.

"I'd given up hope of seeing you tonight."

"Well, I'm glad I could surprise you."

A female's sarcastic voice speaks, and I whirl around in surprise at the person standing in my doorway.

"What are you doing here, Lauren?" I can't hide my annoyance and disdain, the memory of her abhorrent deception still to fresh for niceties.

"_Lauren? _Do you always refer to patients by their first name_?_" Se frowns. "_Anyhow, _I came to see you. I have a few questions that only you can answer, _Doctor _Swan. Well, not only you, but I'm sure my soon to be ex-husband will refuse to answer any questions I might have."

"Okay, firstly, you severed our doctor-patient rapport some time ago, Lauren, so I don't feel I need to continue extreme measures of propriety with you. Secondly, what questions could you possibly have for me?"

It's apparent that I've already abandoned all well manners just at the mere sight of this woman. I can't help it, knowing what I know now.

"Well, it's more like question, not questions. I only have _one_ question for you, Doctor."

She saunters in and takes a seat. I frown at the audacity of her, as if I _owe_ her something.

"Are you fucking my husband?"

My cell phone rings, but I ignore it. I gape at her.

"Cat got your tongue, Doctor Swan?"

I shake my head in disgust.

"I'll take that as a yes," she smirks.

"You can take it any way you wish, Lauren. Have you come all this way, to inconvenience me, just to ask inane questions?"

"You're an attractive, smart woman, Doctor Swan." She gets up and dramatically paces around my office, fixing me with a malevolent stare. "One would think you could find someone better than a lying, cheating, married man to screw around with."

I breathe out slowly to calm myself and to try and contain the raging torrent of anger and disgust that burns like bile in my throat.

"You gamble, Doctor?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I snap.

"Just wondering. Your poker face is impressive, but I can tell by your eyes that you're dying to lash out."

"Okay, I'll bite. You obviously have some agenda, so why don't you say what you came her to say, and then leave."

"Wow! Where's all your animosity coming from, _Doctor._ What happened to _everything will be okay, Lauren? We haven't had enough time,'_ and all that other bullshit?"

"I've done nothing but try to help while you were my patient."

"Help?" she scoffs and turns her back on me.

"Would you like to hear a story, Doctor?"

"Not particularly. I don't have the time for stories or games, Lauren. I would prefer it if you just say what you have to say."

"Alright." She turns to lock eyes with me. "You're no better than me or Irina. He _will_ cheat on you. You can bank on it."

"Is that all?" I walk across the room, unaffected, and start tidying my desk.

"I bet you think you're different. I bet you think you can change him, bring out the good in him. I'm sure it's easy for a woman such as you to get completely blindsided by a man like him; hell we all did. He's gorgeous, successful, sexy as hell and beyond excellent in bed."

I flush at her words, my anger reaches new bounds, but I gather all my professional training and personal resolve and just keep gathering the things I need to take home with me.

"What are you twenty-five, twenty-six? I know that you can't be much older than that."

"What's your point, Lauren?" I slam a drawer and glare at her.

"My _point is_, that you are _exactly_ the kind of woman Edward preys on, young, pretty, easy to victimize."

"Victimize! Now there's an interesting choice of word," I point at her. She frowns at my sudden outburst. "Let's get one thing straight, I am _nothing_ like the women Edward has come in contact with, and regardless of my age I'm not naïve. And I most certainly could _never _be compared to the likes of _you._"

She narrows her eyes at me.

"And if you're referring to yourself as a victim of some sort, well then that says _a lot _about you."

"Stay away from my husband!" She stalks over and slams a fist on my desk.

"Or what? What are you going to do, Lauren?"

"You don't want to screw around with me, Doctor Swan. I can make your life a living hell. I'm sure the Medical Board would be interested to discover details of _bedside_ manner. One call and you could lose your license, just like that!" She snaps her fingers for dramatic effect.

That's it, I won't be bullied by her, or anyone.

"You could very well make my life difficult by spouting garbage like that, but I don't think you'd want to risk going to jail."

"Jail? Why the hell would I be going to jail?"

"Get out of my office, now, Lauren or I'll take pleasure in enlightening you."

"Enlighten me? She scoffs. "You can't do a damned thing to me. You're the one who's likely to face a trial. God only knows how many other women's husbands you've slept with, while claiming to _help _them."

"You are seriously disturbed. I feel sorry for you."

"We'll see who's sorry, bitch," she snaps.

Her threat hangs ominously in the air. I can't have her leave with the intention of going to the Board.

"You voice your ridiculous accusations to anyone, and I'll go to the police and tell them what you've done, Lauren. I promise you."

She glowers at me menacingly.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about what you did to Edward. I'll tell _all_ of it."

"Enough!" Edward roars, and we both flinch, startled by his presence. He stands in the doorway, almost incandescent with fury.

Lauren immediately goes on the attack. "What did you tell her?"

"If I were you, I would leave. _Now_." His voice is now eerily calm.

Like me, she can see just how dangerously angry he is right now and storms out without another word.

He watches her retreat, probably to make sure she actually gets into the elevator, then slams the door so hard, that I reflexively wince.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?"

"I beg your pardon?" I ask in surprise.

"What _exactly_ are you going to tell, and who _exactly_ are you going to tell it to, Bella?"

I'm mute with indignation, and then, as I see how angry and obviously hurt he is, I realize just how imprudent my discussing something that he told me in confidence and in trust, was. And also, how wrong it was of me to threaten to go to the police, it is not my place, not my business.

"I... I'm sorry, but she came in here, accusing me of sleeping with you, and threatening my career…I just lost control, Edward."

He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He shakes his head and turns his back on me. I watch the agitated rise and fall of his shoulders as he battles to regain control of his emotions.

"You were going to mention to her about what I confided in you that night?"

"Yes," I whisper.

"_Then_ you went a step further and threatened to call the police on her for what she'd done?" His voice escalates.

"Yes!" I lower my eyes, no longer able to withstand his laser-like gaze.

"So, I'll ask you again, what _exactly_ are you planning to say? Were you planning on just showing up at the police station, as my therapist, and saying Lauren, my wife, drugged and assaulted me? Is that the gist of it?"

"I don't know! The situation just exploded in a matter of minutes, Edward!"

"I asked you to drop this line of thought, and you agreed, and now here we are again."

"Lauren…"

"I don't want to hear about Lauren! Did you think about what this would do to me, how it would make _me _feel? I don't want anybody else to know about this, Bella. Did you stop to think how people will look at me if it becomes public knowledge?"

His eyebrows knit together in anguish, and he runs a hand through his hair.

"I can't… people can't know that about me, Bella. They just can't." His voice breaks, and like an echo of his torment, I feel my heart crack at the thought that the relationship I thought I could have with this man, is at an end.

I reach out for him, but he shakes his head and steps back.

"This isn't going to work." He walks out, leaving me standing there, in shock.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 25

I expel a shaky breath as I try to make sense of what just happened.

_This isn't going to work._

His parting words sound in my head repeatedly. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach, hard.

I'm frozen in place.

He must know that wouldn't really go to the police; that I was just trying to dissuade Lauren from doing anything reckless. I just need to have Edward to know that, to believe that I would never, knowingly hurt him. If he still wants to walk away from me after that, then at least I will know that he did so knowing all the facts.

I grab my phone and hurriedly dial his number, then make a dash for the door.

I anxiously wait for him to answer, desperate to stop him before he gets too far. It goes to voicemail and I open the door.

"Edward, I …" I bowl right into him. He has his arms spread, hands braced against the doorframe. His head is bowed.

"This is as far as I got," he whispers hoarsely.

He raises his head, and our eyes meet.

"I'm sorry." He holds my gaze unwaveringly, and for some unfathomable reason, I'm overcome by emotion. I battle to hold back tears.

He pulls me to him, but I place my hand on his chest, preventing our coming together.

"You scared me. Don't walk out on me again." I meant to sound decisive, but my voice trembles. "Ever."

"I apologize for scaring you, but you can't ever repeat what I told you about that night. Not to Lauren, not to anyone. You need to understand that," he admits quietly.

I nod wordlessly. I drop my hand, and he wraps me in his arms.

.

.

.

We remain in my office, and he suddenly says that he needs to take care of something important and that he'd be back shortly. I briefly wonder if he's gone after Lauren, but am wronged when he returns with dessert. The simple gesture seems like an act of contrition, a wordless apology for what happened earlier.

"This is the best chocolate ice-cream I've ever eaten," I moan in delight.

"It's gelato. I can't believe you don't know about the little hidden treasures that surround your office. This neighborhood has the most amazing places to _eat_." He says seductively as he slowly slides the spoon into his mouth. "So good."

We're camped out on the carpet, eating gelato and salted pretzels. We have yet to discuss the earlier events, and I decide that now's as good a time as any.

"I would never tell anyone, Edward."

"You'd think that I'd had enough experience with Lauren to know just how adept she is at pushing people beyond their limits. I'm a jackass, Bella." He keeps his eyes downcast, and chops at his gelato with his spoon.

"So, what do you think she'll do?"

"Lauren is quick to threaten, but they're generally empty. She's found out that I…" He pauses, "well let's just say she knows how I feel about you."

This admission makes me feel both elated and fearful, and now I'm the one looking down.

"You told her?"

"No…I didn't. James did."

My head snaps up.

"James?"

"It seems that he couldn't wait to contact Lauren to tell her about his run in with us in Miami. I'm sure he distorted the truth and made sure he added a good dose of bullshit."

I scoff in disgust. "No wonder."

"No wonder what?"

"She arrived unannounced, aggressively wanting to know whether I was having sex with you. And then insulted me by telling that I was easy to dupe and that I was typical of the women that you preyed on and destroyed; I'd be no different from her or Irina and that you'd end up cheating on me too. Then, when I wouldn't be drawn into her game, she told me to stay away from you and threatened to report me to the Board for misconduct."

"Damn her." he mumbles and scrubs a hand over his face. "Bella, I'm sorry, but when I heard the two of you arguing and you threatening to go to the police, I just lost it. I realize now that you were just trying to protect yourself. I don't blame you."

"Well, I'm not one hundred percent blameless, Edward. A huge part of me wants to see Lauren and James, get what they deserve. But I was wrong to let her get to me to the extent that I let her know that you had confided in me. I've breached your trust by revealing that information to her. I'm truly sorry for that."

"I thought we already established that I'm no longer your patient, so you didn't breach my trust."

"You're not, and I wasn't talking about the confidentiality between doctor and patient. I meant between friends."

He gazes at me intently. I can't decipher the emotions in those expressive eyes, there's too much to take in., so I choose to lighten the tension.

"So, you mentioned something about a park tomorrow?"

"Oh, right. I'm taking Josh to the park. I'd like you to join us, and don't worry about intruding. Josh has a monster crush on you." He winks at me salaciously as he dips a pretzel rod into his gelato.

"Well, how can I say no to a ebony-haired, blue-eyed five-year old little boy who's smitten with me?" I bat my eyelashes playfully.

"What about saying yes to a thirty something, uh…what exactly would you call this color I'm sporting here?" He points to the beautiful coppery disarray atop of his skull.

"I would definitely call it Auburn."

"Auburn," He nods acceptingly.

"Deep auburn, with some golden highlights," I amend as I run my fingers through its feather softness.

"I've seemed to have gotten off track," he says, clearly enjoying my little scalp massage.

"You were asking me to join you and your nephew at the park tomorrow and I was accepting."

"Right." He replies and my smile broadens.

His phone beeps, signaling an incoming message. He quickly retrieves it and reads the message.

"Damn it, it's the hospital. I need to call them." He hops up and walks across the room for some privacy.

I gather the containers of half-eaten dessert. I can tell by his body language and the seriousness of his expression that he would most likely have to return to work.

He ends the call and sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair.

"Is everything all right?"

"No. I have to get back to the hospital. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you."

"Oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I enjoyed what little time we did share, that and dessert."

He drops his cellphone and keys onto the sofa and makes it to me in two strides.

"Don't think for a second that I missed that '_friends' _nonsense."

"I just meant ... "

He cups my face with both hands and stares deeply into my eyes, before bringing his lips to mine.

He tastes sweet and salty, and I greedily suck his tongue into my mouth. A groan emanates from deep from within his chest.

His kiss is sensual and gentle, yet it impacts me so powerfully that my legs are reduced to the consistency of Jello.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon."

"Okay. Should I bring lunch?" I whisper, my eyes still closed.

"I've got it covered. I'll see you tomorrow." He pecks me on the lips one last time and leaves. I touch my fingers to my mouth, reveling in the lingering tingle.

.

.

.

I take a deep breath and mentally count to twenty. When I feel in better control, I step out of the car and make my way to the front door.

I forgo the bell and knock peremptorily. She takes her sweet time answering the door. I know she's here, and she knows that it's me. This is just her, trying to exert control, as always.

I hated lying to Bella. The call I received was actually from Lauren. After hearing what Bella had to say and then having her contact me, I decided that I needed to act fast and stop Lauren in her tracks before she could do Bella's professional reputation harm.

She opens the door nonchalantly and looks as if she doesn't have a care in the world.

I brush past her. I wait until I hear her following, before I turn around to face her.

"I want you to leave Doctor Swan alone, Lauren."

She snorts and crosses her arms.

"_Doctor_ _Swan_? Well, _she's _informed me ever so eloquently that we're all on a first name basis now, so cut the shit, Edward."

"I'm not joking, Lauren. You threatened her career. This time, you've gone too far with your threats. I'm telling you now, back off!"

"The hell I will! I introduced _us_ to marriage counseling, I was trying and save our marriage. And you thank me by banging the doctor? So typical, Edward."

"I'm not _banging_ anyone. Leave her alone. I'm warning you."

She cocks her head to the side and she smirks maliciously.

"Taking a little more time than usual, is it? She's not as easy a target as you hoped for?"

"I'll admit things were definitely a lot _easier_ in the past." My eyes pass over her, enforcing my statement. You can see the anger rolling off her in waves.

"Ditto," she retorts. "Honestly, after what James told me, I'd believed you had already bedded her in Miami."

"Whatever he told you is a lie."

"Are you sure about that? What do you think he told me?" She taunts. You would think she'd know I'm too smart to play this game.

"I don't care what he's told you. Stay away from Doctor Swan; you're no longer her patient, I'm no longer her patient. Don't show up at her office spewing vitriol and stop threatening her career with some bullshit accusation. She has nothing to do with any of this. Just let it go."

"Wow!" she gasps in mock shock. "You didn't even fight this fiercely for Irina."

"Enough, Lauren! I'm not doing this with you. I'm so sick of the fucking games! You're like a spoiled brat who can't get her way. Your parents are the ones who have warped your mind into thinking you're entitled to anything you want, no matter what it costs anyone else; go and enact your shenanigans on them. You won't win with me. You forget I'm a master at it."

I turn and head toward the door.

"I can think of one time that you_ weren't _the master." Her barb stops me in my tracks.

"That night we had sex, at your party."

"You mean the night you drugged me." I whip around to face her.

Her nostrils flare, and her chest heaves.

"You were all over me, before I put the pills in your drink." She grits out between clenched teeth.

"I was drunk!" I mock. "I would've fucked a blow-up doll!"

"You're a liar. You wanted me."

"If that were true, Lauren," I step close, our noses would touch if I leaned in, "if I wanted you _so badly_, then why did you feel the need to drug me, huh?"

"Shut up." Her lips start to quiver.

"Let's face it, the only way you could have my cock was to force me." I whisper close to her ear.

"I said shut up!" She pushes me away.

"One thing Irina didn't _ever_ have to, and_ Bella_ never has to worry about doing." I shake my head at her, smiling smugly.

"Oh, Doctor Swan will worry. When she's sitting her holier-than-thou ass up on the stand before the Medical Review Board, she'll be sorry she ever heard the name Masen." She points at me, and I grab her wrist.

'You'll say nothing. Have you got that? Not a word."

"And if I do?"

I feel the hand holding her wrist tremor as I fight to contain my anger. "You'll have a hell of a lot more to lose. I'll go to the police myself and tell them everything."

"You idiot, who'll believe you? It's been eight fucking years, and you'll never let anyone know about what happened anyway. You're too arrogant to let people see you in any light other than the dominant male. It'll crush you."

"Even if I can't get charges laid against you, I'll make sure that your reputation in this city is destroyed, that your family's reputation is destroyed. How do you think dear old 'Mommy and Daddy' will cope with the shame and humiliation, Lauren? Just imagine the talk that would ensue amongst their fucking uppity rich friends about their precious little daughter. Do you want to take that risk? Do you really want to test me? I think you fail to understand just how serious I am about this."

Her confidence waivers and I can see that she's worried. She won't take the risk and push to see whether I'm serious or not. I release her wrist and step back. But I can't resist having the final and definitive say in this matter.

"In case you decide to resurrect your threat. Think again." I hold up my phone. She stares at me in mute confusion and I hit the play button. We listen to a replay of most of our conversation; I'd turned it on as soon as she mentioned my losing control to her. She's incriminating herself in the worst possible way.

I stop the recording abruptly, turn and calmly walk out of the door.

.

.

.

"He's really something else." We watch as Josh endlessly climbs the ladder then skims down the slide.

"He certainly is." He smiles proudly and turns to give him a 'thumbs up' sign when Josh calls out for his uncle to watch him. He's done this about ten times in succession without any sign of his enthusiasm or patience waning. His love for his nephew radiates in his expression every time he looks at or speaks of him.

"He looks a lot like his mother."

"Uncwle Edward, I'm gwoing on the swings!"

"Okay, buddy! Just stay where I can see you!"

He turns to me and frowns slightly. "You know my sister?"

"No," I laugh. "I remember seeing her the night of Josh's birthday party. I mean, I assumed that it was his mother and father who were helping him blow out the candle?"

"Yeah it was. Alice and Jasper, and Josh resembles them both; her dark hair, his blue eyes, but my smile." He emulates the smile for me.

"Oh, and of course your smile. Forgive me," I tease.

We walk over to join Josh at the swings.

It's a beautiful day and Edward wasn't kidding when he said that he had lunch covered. We settle at one of the picnic tables with the basket he packed. He pulls out wrapped sandwiches, fruit and drinks. Josh quickly grabs a sandwich, unwraps it and raises both arms triumphantly in the air.

"Yaaaay!"

I look at him in confusion and turn to Edward for an explanation.

"What is it?"

"It's the Spidey lunch," they say in unison.

"Ohhh…" I try to imitate his excitement. "Spiderman?"

"Yup! Do you wike Spwiderman, Bella?"

"I sure do. He's the best."

"Do you want a sandwich too? Uncwle Edward makes it the bwest!"

"Are you kidding me? I want two sandwiches!" I hold up two fingers, and his big blue eyes widen in excitement. He passes two wrapped sandwiches over to me and eagerly waits for me to open them. He's practically bouncing.

"What's on them?" I lean over and whisper inconspicuously to Edward.

"Ham and cheese, pickles a little mustard, with crumbled chips." He shrugs and opens a sandwich for himself.

I frown. "But you don't know how to cook."

"Technically it's not cooking, and I saw that face you made. Don't knock it till you try it, baby."

I eye both him and the sandwich skeptically. Josh is still watching and waiting for me to take a bite. I indulge them both and take a large bite.

"This is actually quite tasty," I mumble with my mouth full.

"I told you, Bella! It's the bwest!"

I'm stuffed from the _Spidey_ lunch, and we're all pretty much tuckered out and ready to go after a fun-filled afternoon.

We head back to the car, and Josh stops abruptly at the sight of a family of passing ducks.

"I wanna feed the ducks! Uncwle Edward, can I? Pwease?" He pulls on Edward's arm relentlessly.

"I thought you were tired and ready to go home to your mommy and daddy?"

"Pwease?"

"Okay, okay, but just for a few minutes and don't walk off. You know our rule, buddy."

"I know. I know! I need food for the ducks!"

Edward opens the picnic basket and takes a piece of bread from one of the leftover sandwiches and hands it to Josh. He takes off, running.

"Josh, the rule."

"I know, Uncwle Edward, rewax. I won't go fwar!"

"_Rewax_." Edward mocks, quietly. "He tells me to relax. Does he not understand that his mother will kill me if anything happens to him?"

"Castrate you first and _then_ kill you, I believe. He's feeding the ducks, he's fine." We watch as Josh carefully feeds ducks without frightening them. "Look at him. He's a natural."

"He is, just like me." He nudges my arm playfully. So… did you have fun?"

"I did. It takes me back to my childhood when my dad and I used to go to the park," I smile up at him and straighten his sunglasses that are hooked on the front of his shirt.

"Not much romance, though."

"Was there supposed to be?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"Well…I mean Josh is here and…" He looks over to check on him.

"I'm kidding, Edward. I knew what I was up for today, and I've really enjoyed myself."

"Yes, but still. I feel like I should do better." He steps closer.

"So, you've mentioned before." I keep teasing.

Josh looks enthralled as he follows the little army of ducks as they move toward us now.

"I'm serious, Bella. I've told you, and I've promised myself that the next time, I will not stop myself."

"I know," I whisper.

He's so heart stoppingly sincere as he intently gazes at me. I can tell he wants to kiss me, but this is not the right time or place. He traces the shell of my ear and gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind it.

"Tonight," he murmurs seductively.

"Tonight?" I repeat with a shuddering breath.

"My place tonight," He promises with a smile, catching my hand. We both turn sharply as a car approaches.

Everything that happens next appears to play out in slow motion. The car moves slowly at first and then revs loudly as it picks up speed.

"Edward, look out! Oh my God!" I scream, but the sound is drowned out by the noise of brakes slamming followed by that of skidding tires.

"Edward, Edward!" I rush over to him, his body is curled on the ground, and he's not moving. The car stops briefly and then speeds off.

"Edward! Hey," I touch him gingerly, not knowing how badly he's been hurt. He groans and rolls to his side.

"Josh," he mutters, and my eyes dart around frantically. They come to rest on Josh, pinned beneath Edward. I cover my mouth with my hands and I gasp.

I didn't see exactly what happened. I didn't hear anything except for my own scream and the screech of the tires. But it's apparent that Edward jumped in front of the car to shield Josh.

He crawls into a crouched position, and coughs, holding his stomach. He catches a glimpse of Josh, who's lying motionless and bleeding.

"Oh my God." I whisper in shock.

"Josh…Josh!" Edward coughs and nearly chokes, still clutching at his stomach. He crawls over to Josh.

"Josh, buddy. Wake up. Come on."

"Edward! He's bleeding from his head."

He examines him while shouting at me.

"Call 9-1-1!"


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 26

Edward and Josh are placed in the ambulance, and I follow in his car. My mind is numb with worry for their wellbeing and I'm shaking like a leaf.

I rush through the entrance to the ER, they've already been admitted.

Edward is beside himself and refusing medical treatment. He hops up off the gurney and rushes to Josh's side. The medical staff is trying to convince him to be examined, but he's giving them hell.

I feel helpless and watch in disbelief. The day started off so wonderfully, and in a blink of an eye it's turned into this tragedy.

"Doctor Masen, you have to let us examine you. You're injured," a nurse tries to reason with him, he brushes her away peremptorily. He won't let anyone check his injuries or touch Josh. He manages to wrestle a stethoscope away from her to examine Josh himself.

"His vitals sound good, but I want an EKG and CT scan done immediately."

"Doctor Masen, you can't…"

"Don't tell me what I can or cannot do! This is my nephew and I'm overseeing his case! Do you understand me, Jessica?" he snaps. She nods and quickly moves out of his way.

"The hell you are, Masen. Out of the way." Mike Newton moves up behind Edward. "Go and get yourself checked out. I'll take care of your nephew."

"I'm fine, and you're not touching him, Newton." Edward snarls.

"Suit yourself. Don't get checked out and collapse from internal bleeding later, but you are NOT tending to this patient, and I don't have tell you the reasons you're not. You want to do something…. call his parents."

He shoves past Edward and gets to work on Josh. Edward looks on helplessly, while a team of medical staff circle Josh.

My heart breaks at the air of desolation that hangs over him. I rush to his side, but he doesn't respond to my presence. I gently touch his arm.

"He's going to be all right."

"He has a head injury" he says tonelessly, and I swallow hard.

"Kids are resilient, Edward."

"He's five years old, Bella." He jerks around and practically glares at me. "Five!"

I flinch at the harshness of his tone, and he doubles over, choking.

"You have to have allow yourself to be examined, Edward. God only knows how badly you're hurt." I stoop down by his side and try get him move to an examination room. His coughing quietens, and he reluctantly allows me to help him. He looks back to where the medical staff is relentlessly working on Josh, but can't see much from the position we're in. He relents and enters an exam room.

While Edward and I wait, he pulls out his phone, stares at it dully for moments before making the call. "Jasper…. where's Alice?" His voice breaks. I squeeze his hand tightly, and he gently squeezes mine in return.

"You both need to get to the hospital now. It's Josh."

.

.

.

Other than severe bruising, Edward has been cleared. He paces the waiting area like a caged lion, and keeps dashing over to try and get information on Josh. After an interminable wait, Mike Newton reappears.

"How is he?" He asks impatiently, before he can reach us.

He sighs and runs a hand through his short hair. "It's not looking good right now. He's lost an awful lot of blood, and he's unresponsive."

"Are you telling me that my nephew's in a coma?" Edward's voice breaks.

I let out a soft, horrified gasp.

"Have you called his parents, Edward?"

"Answer me, Mike. Is Josh in a coma?"

"He's unconscious, and he needs immediate surgery for us to relieve the pressure on his brain. They need to get here right away, if not you're going to have to give consent." He goes back to Josh.

"Mike…. Mike! You better save him, you bastard!" Edward stalks behind him, and I reach out to grab him.

"Edward, stop it!" I whisper.

"I need to see him. He's just a little boy. He needs…." His pacing becomes even more frantic, and he flexes his right hand repeatedly. It's can't be an injury, he's been thoroughly checked. I think that it's a coping mechanism for him, an attempt to relieve his stress.

The sight of Josh's parents, racing toward us brings him to an abrupt halt.

"Edward! Where's Josh! What happened?"  
She shouts at him, clutching at his shirtfront, practically shaking him.

"Alice…. he's…"

"What happened? Where is he?" Josh's father touches his wife's arm, pulling her into his side.

"There was an accident. He…c…." Edward erupts into another coughing fit, unable to answer.

"We were at the park and a car came out of nowhere and… "

"He was hit by a car?" She cuts across me, and tugs at Edward again and then turns to me.

"I didn't see exactly what happened, but I think that Edward tried to shield Josh, and…"

"I don't even know who the hell you are…" she dismisses me. Where's Josh, Edward? Where _is _he?" She bursts into tears.

Edward finally recovers enough to speak. He pulls them aside and quietly converses with them. His sister, lets out a loud anguished wail, her husband's face turns even more ashen. The expression on Edward's face is indescribable… remorse, anger, pain, worry. He leads them to Josh.

I remain rooted to the spot, castigating myself for interfering in a family matter, especially under such delicate circumstances.

Josh's mother nearly collapses at the sight of her son. She clings to the rails of his bed, then somehow, through all the equipment that he's hooked up to, she lovingly touches his little face. Tears stream down my cheeks as I watch on helplessly.

His bed still surrounded by nursing staff is being moved, probably to the O.R. Edward and Josh's mother walk beside the bed, and his father is led away by one of the triage nurses, I assume to sign whatever documents he needs to consent to the surgery.

I catch a glimpse of his lifeless-looking little body, and a loud sob, reflexively emanates from my throat. His head is bandaged and there are tubes connected to almost every part of his body.

I silently plead with God for this child to be alright and to watch over his family.

They reach the point where his mother cannot follow her son, and she lets out an agonized scream and turns on Edward. She pounds on his bruised chest repeatedly; he makes no move to stop her. She exhausts herself and finally collapses into his arms.

.

.

.

Considerable time has passed, and I'm finally giving a statement to the police, but they're really urging to speak with Edward. I explain the situation about Josh, and the understanding female officer suggests that her and her colleague have a cup of coffee in the cafeteria and return in a little while.

I finally take a seat in the waiting room. Now that I have nothing else to focus on, the horrific events flash through my mind like I an endless loop, going round and round. I picture the car, but I don't see the driver or the make or registration. I'm frustrated that I cannot remember one helpful detail. The vision of Edward and Josh's bodies on the ground, however, is sharp and remains as frightening in the replay as it did at the time.

I bury my head in my hands. I want so badly to go to Edward, but I know that I need to keep my distance, however I cannot find it in myself to leave.

I walk up to the nurses' station.

"Excuse me. Is there a chapel on the premises?"

"Yes, there is. Just walk to the end of the hall and take a right."

I pass several rows before I take a seat on the hard pew.

I prayed regularly as a child, my mom made sure that I did, and as an adult, I've invoked God's name in anger, frustration and even joy. I've called on him to help me out of inane situations, most of my own making. But for this, something of such great import, where the life a beautiful and innocent little boy hangs in the balance…I can't seem to find the word to beg for his intervention and mercy.

"I don't know what to say. Just…. please let Josh be all right and watch over his parents and Edward. They love him so much…

God, Edward will be so devastated if something happens to that little boy, he's already suffered such a great loss." I whisper.

"You seem to know a lot about my brother."

Edward's sister, Alice, looks down at me. She appears exhausted, and her eyes are red and swollen.

"I-um…." I intend getting up, but she shakes her head, urging me to slide over.

"He's a wreck…. Edward that is," she murmurs. "Josh means _everything_ to us, to him."

"I know. How…. how is he, Josh I mean?"

She's studying me closely, and although her eyes are clear ice blue her gaze is as penetrating and expressive as that of the brother.

"He's still in surgery."

"I'm so sorry." There are no words adequate at a time like this.

"You're her, aren't you? _Bella._" She surprises me by mentioning my name. I didn't think that Edward and told family about me.

"Edward hasn't said much about you, if anything, but my brother Emmett has."

"My friend Rosalie is a friend of Emmett's. I'm sure she talks abo…"

"What happened to my son, Bella?" she cuts me off abruptly.

"We were at the park…."

"I know _that _part. I want to know _what_ happened to cause my son to be lying in an operating room with a scalpel in his head."

I take a deep, shuddering breath.

"I didn't see exactly what happened. I saw the car speeding toward us. I remember screaming for Edward to get out of the way, and the next thing I knew he was on the ground."

"And Josh? Where was he?"

"He…he was standing next to us when it happened. I only remember seeing Edward roll off him after the car struck. Edward must've jumped in front of the car to save him."

She nods lifelessly, her gaze unseeingly focused ahead.

"How did he look?"

"I beg your pardon?" I frown.

"How did he look when you saw Edward roll off him?"

I examine her closely, she appears stoic, but I remember her outburst with Edward and worry that my answer will cause more damage than good.

"He wasn't moving, and…." I hesitate, thinking about what and how to say it.

"_And_?"

"And he was bleeding from his head." I look down at my knotted fingers and shake my head.

"And before that? What was he doing?"

"Before?" I ask, confused.

"Before that car slammed into my son!" She shouts at me, her tears spill over.

"He…. He was feeding the ducks."

She turns to me in surprise.

"Was he happy?"

Now I understand her line of questioning, she wants to know what he was doing, what his state of mind was before he was hurt. She's probably worrying that he was afraid, she wants to think of him as being happy, not as the broken little boy she left at the those swinging doors.

"Yes…. Yes, he was. Josh was completely enthralled by a family of ducks. He begged Edward to let him feed them."

"What did he feed them?"

"Pardon?"

"_What did he feed them_"? She insists.

"Edward gave him a slice of bread from one of the leftover sandwiches he'd packed for lunch."

"The Spidey lunch," she mutters, between a wail and a snort. "Oh God, why is this happening?" She bursts out, and I quickly wrap my arm around her.

"Everything will be okay. Josh is going to be fine. You _have_ to believe that, _we _have to believe that," I console her.

.

.

.

Alice and I head back to the waiting room to rejoin her husband. An older couple is now with him. The family resemblance is glaringly obvious and I know that these are Edward's parents, but there's no sign of him anywhere.

"This is Bella. She was with Edward and Josh when the accident happened," she addresses the group. I'm faced with surprised faces, but no-one comments, they just smile at me politely, pain and worry etched on their faces.

"Sweetheart, you look tired. Maybe you should stretch out and close your eyes for a few moments." Her mother fusses.

I'll have a nurse make up a bed for you," Edward's father walks over and lovingly runs a hand through her hair. He's seems kind and gentle, personality traits I'm just starting to recognize in Edward.

"Yeah, babe, I think that's be a good idea. I'll come with you, "Jasper, adds and tries to hug her, but she wrenches away from him.

"I'm not going to sleep while my son is lying on a stretcher with strangers poking around in his head! Where's Edward? He should be in that O.R with Josh, not some random doctor. He should be here! This is his fault. He should be here!" She shouts, and her mother hurries over to embrace her.

I worry about Edward anew, wondering where he is and how he's faring. And now, I also worry that the guilt he already clearly feels will be magnified by his sister's grief.

Her mother finally manages to convince Alice to lie down. Jasper gathers her things and follows them. I'm left in the waiting room with Edward's father.

"You were with my son and grandson when the accident happened?"

"Um…yes."

"Did you see who did this? Who was driving the car?"

"No…. I'm so sorry. I-I didn't see much. It all happened so fast. I only remember the color of the car."

"God, who would hit a child and just keep going? It's inhumane," he mutters.

"I don't know, but hopefully the police will find the person who did this."

"I apologize. I'm Edward Masen…. Senior that is." He extends his hand.

"Isabella. Bella Swan," I amend.

"It's not the best situation for introductions I realize, but I want to thank you on behalf of my family, for sitting with Alice and for still being here."

"It's the least I can do. I've known Edward for a while, and Josh and I have met a couple of times. Those two are so close, Edward loves him so much."

"This is true." He smiles, and I'm reminded of Edward. "They're inseparable. Forgive me for prying, but how do you know my son? Are the two of you dating?"

I'm flustered and don't know how to respond. He senses my discomfort.

"I'm sorry. It's none of my business. I guess I'm just trying to redirect my thoughts."

"Edward used to be my patient," I reflexively blurt out, instantly regretting my candor.

"Patient?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I…"

He narrows his eyes, questioningly.

"Marriage counseling."

"Oh…. right." He nods politely, but I can see his confusion, yet he doesn't pry.

"Sir, I…"

"Edward…. please. I insist."

"Edward," I chuckle nervously, "I don't mean to intrude on a family matter, but do you have any idea where Edward is? I would like to make sure he's all right."

"He left. He couldn't handle it."

"_Left_?"

"He said he couldn't just sit here and wait around. He needed to see Josh. I assume he's doing whatever he can to get into that operating room."

"Is that…_wise_?"

"Edward is a professional. He's one of the best, if not _the_ best cardio-surgeon in the state. He knows how to conduct himself in an O.R. and won't do anything to jeopardize the health of my grandson. He just needs to be there with him." If I'm not sounding particularly biased."

"I understand completely, and no you don't sound biased at all. Your son is the ultimate professional. And he represented you well at this year's medical convention. Sorry to get off track, but I just wanted to add that."

"Why thank you, Bella. I really appreciate you saying so," he smiles sincerely.

.

.

.

Little more than three hours drag by before Doctor Newton returns to the waiting room to let everyone know that Josh is in recovery and that the surgery was successful.

"We've put him into a medically induced coma to assist the healing process. But overall, things look good. We've stopped the inner-cranial bleeding, and there is no swelling. Josh is extremely lucky."

"Thank God." Edward's Snr. says. "Have you spoken to Josh's parents?

"Yes, I saw them on the way in. They've gone in to see him briefly."

"Oh, thank goodness," I exhale, almost numb with relief and smile at the Edward's father. "I was so afraid when I saw how badly he was bleeding."

"It was mostly from the impact Edward inflicted when he jumped in front of him, sending him crashing to the ground."

"What are you saying?" I can't hide anger at his implication. His father's eyes dart to me quickly.

"I'm saying, if he hadn't jumped in front of him, things would be a lot different right now. Edward probably saved his life. That car would've hit Josh head on."

"Where's Edward?" I practically demand.

"He was right outside the O.R the entire time. He was the first to see Josh after we finished up the surgery. He was in the recovery room with Josh when I came down to give the family the news."

"Thank you, Mike."

"I'm glad to have been able to help, Doctor Masen." He says respectfully as he accepts his extended hand. They walk off while continuing to discuss Josh's case.

I peer through the tiny window in the waiting room and see Edward talking to the police. I want to go to him, but I don't feel it would be appropriate; he's surrounded by the rest of his family.

Suddenly, voices escalate, and I watch as the conversation between Edward and the police heats up. Alice joins in; their parents and her husband appear to be trying to calm them both down.

"Look, are you done interrogating me?" Edward yells loudly.

The officer looks as if he's trying to reason with him, but he's having none of it.

"I'm out of here." He storms through another door.

I slip past everyone and run after him. He tears off in his car, before I can reach him.

.

.

.

Without a car, I had to hail a cab and have him try to keep up with Edward, who is driving erratically.

We end up losing him after following him for a while. I think about calling or texting him, but he's already driving irresponsibly, and I don't want to endanger him or others further.

We stop at a traffic light, and I become even more frustrated. I can't believe he just left the hospital without a word to me.

I finally decide to call him with the rationalization that he'd only answer if he finally reached his destination.

He answers after the third ring.

"What?" he says angrily.

"What happened… why did you just leave?"

"I just had to get out of there. And also change out of these fucking clothes."

"Well, what did the police have to say? Do they have any leads on who was driving the car that hit you and Josh?"

"Listen, I don't want to talk about this right now, Bella. My nephew is hanging on by the skin of his teeth. I don't give a fuck about anything else."

He hangs up on me, and I'm stunned, but I now know exactly where he is, and I can't let him deal with this alone.

"Turn left at the end of this street and drive for a mile and a half." I instruct the cab driver.

I leave the car and have to dash back to pay the driver. I knock loudly on Edward's front door.

There's no response, so I insistently ring the bell. I peek inside the window and the downstairs is in complete darkness. I step back and look up at the lighted bedroom window. I call him again, but he doesn't answer.

"Damn it, Edward Masen!" I stomp my foot angrily.

Against my better judgment and because he's pissed me off, I turn the door handle; the door opens.

"Edward?" I call out into the dark, and he doesn't reply. I take a deep breath and make my way toward the light upstairs.

He's madly pacing and flexing his hand.

"Are you alright?"

He spins around in surprise. "How'd you get in here?"

"You left your door open, but I was prepared to crawl through the window if I had to." I deadpan, hoping to lighten the mood, but he doesn't react.

"I didn't know breaking and entering was one of your talents," he says cynically.

"Oh no you don't, Edward Masen. We're not going back to that bullshit." I grab his arm to stop his pacing. "Talk to me."

"You're not my shrink!"

"I know that! I'm…I'm…." I stutter helplessly.

"What, Bella? _What _are you?"

"I'm here, Edward! Talk to me. You don't have to deal with this on your own."

He pulls away from me and walks across the room, flexing that damned hand again. Suddenly, he draws his fist back and punches the wall once, twice….and a third time. Dry wall splits and cracks.

I shriek and cover my mouth in shock.

"Edward, are you crazy? You're a surgeon. You're going to ruin your hand." I try and examine his hand, but he snatches it away.

"Small price to pay for Josh's head." He hits the wall again, and it crumbles on the carpet.

"You think Josh would want this, for you to deliberately hurt yourself? Edward, that little boy idolizes you. He's always talking about his uncle Edward being a doctor and making people better."

"But I couldn't make _him _better, could I?"

"Edward, Josh is going to be okay. I know tonight was scary, but thank God, that little boy is going to be fine."

He places his hands on top his head and laces his fingers together.

"W-what if he wasn't, Bella?" His voice breaks, and his brows knit together in anguish.

I reach out to comfort him. He takes a step back, but I'm not going to let him push me away. I step up and loosen his hands, pulling him to me.

Tears spill down his face, and I wrap my arms around him. He sniffs, arms hanging limp at his sides.

"He's going to be okay, Edward."

He rests his forehead on my shoulder as he cries. His tears dampen my shirt. He finally wraps his arms around me, holding on tightly. He whimpers softly, and I have to fight hard to not join him in his anguish.

.

.

.

"If you'd ever told me that I'd be here in your bed, I would have called you delusional."

"I think you did call me that once." He combs his fingers through my hair.

We're lying, spooned together in his bed. This innocent, comforting posture should feel foreign, given his reputation, but that's all he's asked for and accepted tonight.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think that someone purposely hit Josh?"

He turns and looks at me with a frown.

'Why would you say that?"

"I meant… not to purposely hit _him_, but you or even me."

"What are saying, Bella…. that someone tried to kill one of us?"

"I don't know, but it is a thought I've entertained. The car basically plowed you down and kept going."

"Whoever it was, kept going because they were afraid. Maybe they didn't have insurance or knew that they'd been drinking or something. Who knows?"

"Or maybe _she_ knew exactly what she was doing," I mutter softly, but he hears me. He sits up to look at me.

"She?"

I exhale wearily, "Lauren."

"You think_ Lauren_ tried to kill me?"

"I think her behavior yesterday was bordering on psychotic."

"No," he laughs and shakes his head. "Lauren may be a lot of things, but a murderer is not one of them."

"Edward…"

"No, Bella. Think about it. Josh was there. She hates me right now, but she would never do anything to hurt him. When he was a baby, he spent weekends with us, she loves him too. She's not that cruel."

"She drugged and took advantage of you, if that's not cruel then I don't know what is," I say decisively.

"No…let's just end this right now. It was an accident, but we're going to find the person who caused it. Lauren had nothing to do with this. It's ridiculous."

I let it go, but I believe that he's in denial about her character and what she's capable of. I also don't want to upset him more than he already is.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For staying with me, for just being here. That had to be a real treat, to see me break down," he disdains.

"You think that I got pleasure from seeing you hurt?" I sit up so I can look him in the eye.

"No…I know you were genuinely concerned." He caresses my face. "I didn't mean to make you worry."

"I care about you, Edward. I thought you understood that now?"

"It's still kind of… remarkable in a sense. I didn't give you many reasons to like me in the beginning. I care about you too. You have no idea how much."

My eyes flutter closed, and I revel in the strength of his palm against my cheek. I feel him shift and his lips brush across my forehead.

"I have to get back to the hospital and check on Josh," he says when I finally open my eyes.

"I'll come with you."

"No, it's late. You should stay, try and get some sleep. It's been a long day for you too."

He's right; I'm exhausted and suddenly starving.

He slides to the edge of the bed, and I scoot next to him.

"Do you have any food in the house?"

He smirks and slips on his shoes. "I'm sure you can find something in the kitchen. Help yourself." He kisses me gently. "I'll call you from the hospital."

I watch him from the window as he gets into his car and pulls away.

"God, what a day," I lean my head back against the wall

I'd bet everything I own that Lauren's somehow behind this.

After rummaging through the kitchen, I head back to the bedroom with a bag of pretzels and a diet coke.

I decide to call Rose to let her know what's happened, in case she hasn't already learned from Emmett.

"Hey stranger," she answers on the first ring.

"Hey, I have to tell you what's happened today."

"Let me guess, you're calling me from Edward's bed after he's completely screwed your brains out. How am I doing?".

"No…." I hesitate, glancing around, wondering if her knack to valuate situations has turned into downright clairvoyance "Um…not exactly, anyway."

"Okay… what _has_ happened?"

"Edward and his nephew were both knocked down by a car today."

"What? What the hell?" She screams, nearly deafening me.

"It was pretty bad."

"You were with them?"

"We were all at the park and this car came out of nowhere and basically ran through them. Edward somehow managed to jump in front of the car and pushed Josh out of the way."

"Oh my God! Emmett! I don't think he knows!"

"I don't know, Rose. I was at the hospital for most of the afternoon and evening. His family was there, but I didn't see him."

"Christ! He went to this car race today, and he told me that it's hard to hear his phone at those places."

"Well, it's pretty late, the race should be over. I'm sure his family has been leaving tons of messages for him. He probably knows by now."

"Dear God. How's Josh?"

"It was scary for a while. He has a head injury and needed surgery."

"Oh no. He's just a little boy! How awful."

"I know. Hopefully, he'll be okay. I mean he has to be okay. His family loves him so much. They would be a wreck without him."

"You said Edward was hit too, how is he?"

"Edward's injuries were minor, thank God. He's at the hospital right now."

"That's good to hear. What about you, are you all right?"

"I wasn't hurt, Rose, but it was the most terrifying thing to witness."

"I'm sure it was. Goodness, Bella…."

Rosalie continues to talk, but my mind wanders. Discussing the accident brings it all back, but it's still unclear.

In my head I can see as the car starts up and speeds towards us. I recall screaming for Edward to get out of the way. The next thing I see, he's airborne when the car hits, and he crashes to the ground. The car stops, then speeds away.

I break out in a sweat. It feels like I'm having a panic attack.

"Rosalie, I'll call you back."

I run to the bathroom and splash water on my face. I look at myself in the mirror and try to shake the images from my head, but they keep rolling through my mind. And this time, I see something new.

A license plate.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 27

I'm wakened by a sound. My eyes flutter open slowly. The room is dark, the only light coming from moonlight shining through the curtains.

I finally realize that Edward's in the room, he's responsible for the noise I heard. I glance over to look at the clock, a few minutes before midnight.

He's standing at the window, quietly peering out into the night.

I remain silent, don't move and watch him.

He walks over to the closet. The moonlight illuminates and creates a silhouette of his body. He really is exquisite.

I notice that his right hand is bandaged. He must've really hurt it when he punched that wall.

I can't gauge his mood, and I wonder if Josh is okay. He didn't call like he said he would, and he hasn't attempted to wake me now that he's back.

Just as I'm about to speak, he steps out of his shoes, and unbuttons his shirt. My silence quickly morphs into voyeurism.

His shirt floats to the floor as he undoes the final button, and my mouth goes dry. The sight of his well-toned, bare back is so erotic, and I find my body responding, heat coursing through me.

He starts to undo his pants. My eyes linger on his hands, studying every movement; he undoes his belt, then the button, and slowly lowers the zipper. He steps out of the pants, and I try my best not to make a sound, to hold still; to not let on how what he does affects me, but I can't control the escalation of my breathing as his thumbs hook into the sides of his boxer briefs. He pauses and looks over his shoulder at the bed, to where I'm lying. I can see him, but he assumes I'm still asleep. He sheds the boxers.

I swallow hard, and try to not to move, but it's the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do in my life. Seeing him like this, stirs up feelings I've had and been repressing since the first day I saw him. I've tried to deny them, but it's futile. I want him.

I realize that what I'm doing is tantamount to violating his privacy, but I don't care. Edward is magnificent, and I can't seem to take my eyes off him.

He walks into his closet and comes back with towel in hand.

"Do you like what you see?" His question flows over me like molten chocolate. I should be shocked that he knows I've been watching him, but I'm not.

"How long are you going to continue lying there pretending to be asleep?"

"You're beautiful."

He scoffs lightly and turns, heading in the direction of the bathroom.

"I need a shower. You're welcome to join me." He then disappears behind the door.

_He knew I was watching him the entire time. He knowingly got undressed in front of me._

Nothing in his voice sounded cocky or manipulative. I want him and he wants me. I slide to the edge of the bed and with shaky hands, begin to unbutton my shirt.

.

.

.

I stand under the spray, letting the warmth wash away the remnants of this nightmarish day. She's on the other side of the fogged-up glass, probably debating whether or not to take me up on my invitation.

Even now, naked in the bathroom, she's still hesitant. I don't say or do anything to influence her; this has to happen because she wants it as much as I do. I need her to take the initiative.

She slides the door open, steps inside and shuts it behind her. She moves behind me and slowly glides her hands up my back. I let out the breath I've been holding since I noticed her on the other side of the glass.

She presses her lips against my skin, and I hum at the sensation it creates in me. Her lips softly tease as they move across my back. I'd give anything to be able to see what those pouty lips, I've had dreams about look like as they sensuously glide over me.

Her wet body pressed against mine drives me insane with want. I try to focus on the intimacy of the moment and resist the urge to turn around and ravish her against the glass. That would be so easy, but I want to show her that she is more to me than just someone I'm trying to satisfy my lust with. It's difficult. It's been a while since I've had sex. I try not to remember the closet debacle with Vicky. It'd been even longer since I've made love to a woman, and that's what I want, to make love to Bella.

I turn around and look down at her. She's beautiful, with her hair slicked back and her glistening, wet body. The water looks like glowing diamonds against her skin, and my willpower almost takes flight.

"It feels like I've waited forever for you."

Her expressive eyes tell me that she still feels unsure about this, about us. I want to do everything I can to reassure her that she can trust this, trust me.

"Turn around," I whisper. I reach for the soap and squeeze some into my hand. I smooth it onto her shoulders, and gently massage her skin. I move my hands slowly to the curve of her ass then up again. She instinctively shivers.

"Cold?"

"A little," she finally speaks.

I move close until our bodies meet and wrap my arms around her. She gasps as she feels the evidence of my desire, and I can no longer prolong my need for her. I taste every available part of her skin, sucking and licking at its sweetness. I kiss her shoulders, neck and back, while I massage her breasts. Her head falls back onto my shoulder, and she makes the most beautiful sounds; sounds that cause my erection to throb in unison. She covers my hands with hers, and follows my motions, gently urging me not to stop. I free one of my hands and trail it lower, and her breath hitches. I cover her mouth with my own and slide my hand between her legs. She whimpers into my mouth and gently bucks her hips, grinding against my hand. She's so wet already, and I know it's not from the shower. My tongue enters and explores her mouth. It intertwines with hers. I suck and nip at her tender lips, moaning as I move my hand faster, and her ass rubs against my hard cock. A throaty groan escapes from somewhere deep within me. The want to be inside her is beyond reason right now. I pull my hand away and turn her to face me. She's breathless, flushed, wanting and breathtakingly beautiful. I reach behind her, turn off the water and open the door. I pull her to me, lifting her up and wrapping her legs around my waist. I lock my eyes with hers, as I step out of the shower.

.

.

.

He lays me down on the bed and turns me onto my stomach. It flutters at the thought of what he's about to do. I feel the bed dip as he crawls in between my legs and hovers above me. Water droplets fall from his body, cooling my scorching skin. I'm aflame for him. His lips brush from the top down to the bottom of my spine. I feel his tongue tease me _there_, and I grip the sheets so hard, my knuckles hurt. I arch my lower back as his tongue descends, licking at one of my most intimate places. I pant heavily and grind against his tongue.

"Oh God!" I bury my face in the satin and mumble into the sheets when he spreads me wide and laps at my drenched sex. Before I come apart, he makes sure there's not an inch of me that he hasn't exquisitely tortured. His tongue enters, swirls and flicks. He flips me over and repeats it from the front, over and over. Each time feels better than the last. I grab fistfuls of his hair and try to hold back the scream that's threatening to erupt from somewhere deep within me. He senses my imminent capitulation.

"Just let go. Feel it, Bella."

At his command, I do, and shatter into a thousand pieces.

"Oh God!" I gasp, desperately fighting for breath, trying to still my pounding heart.

He doesn't stop, his movements are slow and sensual as my legs violently shake. I can no longer think coherently. No man has ever made me feel this way, and I know this is only the start.

He kisses his way back up my body, and suckles my breasts, alternating between the two, flicking the nipple with the tip of his tongue. I can feel how hard he is as he grinds against my thigh. He releases my breast and lays kisses along my neck and my chin and hovers just over my lips. It's nearly pitch-black in the room, but I feel him looking right at me, waiting to see if I'll protest when the tip of his cock slips between my legs, rubbing against my sensitive flesh. Sensing no protest, he reaches over for protection and blindly sheathes himself.

"No stopping," he says, and his mouth covers mine, swallowing my whimpers as he pushes forward and enters me. The twinge as he stretches me is delicious and welcomed. I wrap my legs wrap around his waist as he moves deep inside of me. His hips pump and pound and rotate. I claw and dig into his muscular ass; urging him for more, to move faster, drive harder.

I cry out for him not to stop.

He loosens my legs from around his waist, places them over his shoulder and braces his hands against the headboard. He fucks me slowly, deeply, sensuously.

I meet him, thrust for thrust. He whispers how tight I am and that he's going to come.

I can tell he's close by his quickened pace and incoherent muttering. The rhythmic sound of our slick flesh meeting and retreating, meeting and retreating spur us on. He grunts his delight. I pant and moan mine. He buries his face in the side of my neck.

"So long…dreamt about doing this…wanted you so much. "Fuck…. fuck…. Oh, Bella, I'm gonna come…."

"Come for me," I urge and pull his face to mine. I kiss him deeply until he can no longer manage to hold back.

"Bella, I…ah…!" He grunts and with one hard thrust, he climaxes. His arms shake as he struggles to hold himself up. I watch the look of pure bliss on his face and it tips me over the edge. I clutch at his shoulder, desperately needing to hold onto something to stay anchored to this earth. Wave after wave of ecstasy crashes over me. Edward collapses on top of me, and I wrap my arms around him. He rolls us onto our sides and gently kisses me, over and over.

.

.

.

I splay my body across his chest, his hand trails lazily up and down my spine.

I rest my chin on his chest and watch him. His eyes are shut, his face serene, contented.

"Your hand." He lifts it.

"It's a little sore. I had it taped at the hospital. No big deal."

"How's Josh? You didn't call."

"Sorry about that. Alice and Jasper understandably still had a lot of questions. I couldn't get a free moment. Josh…." He exhales deeply, "he's not one hundred percent out of the woods, but he's going to be alright.

"I knew he'd be. He _has_ to be."

"He will be. I promised him a baby duck if he makes a quick recovery for his _Uncwle Edward._ He's going to hold me to that promise, I'm sure of it."

I chuckle at his imitation of Josh of 'uncwle' and place a lingering kiss over his heart.

I never imagined this night happening, or that I would feel this happy.

I won't lie and say that I never contemplated sex with Edward, but it was never anything close to this. It was more than just intense sexual tension between two people; more than just some casual romp. This was two people finally giving into their passion and feelings for each other; a deep and intimate connection. I feel myself getting lost in the memory of what we just shared.

"Bella."

"Hmm?"

"Bella, baby?"

I sit upright. Edward hovers over me, rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"You were dreaming," he says softly. "You sounded a little distressed."

"I did?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"You were moaning in your sleep. I wasn't sure if you were having a bad dream or…" He whispers as he wraps his arms around me. I melt in his embrace and tuck my head under his chin.

"It wasn't a bad dream, just pleasant thoughts, then I must've drifted off." I reassure him. "

"Tell me. What were you thinking about?" He implores softly.

"It's just…tonight was perfect, and I didn't…Whenever I'd imagined us being together, I always imagined it differently."

"Did I not live up to your expectations?" He sounds a bit worried.

"What? No! I mean, yes! Edward…that's not what I meant. I just meant that you were always different; the way you were with me would be different."

"I see."

"You do?" I sit up and look at him.

"Bella, I'm not the same man I was then. I've changed, and you're the reason for that change. I'm not claiming to be a saint now, but this; this is a new start, for both of us."

"I believe you." I whisper, and he leans in slowly and kisses me passionately. I tangle my fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck and draw him closer to deepen the kiss.

He pulls me on top of him, and I feel his arousal. I straddle him.

"Although, there are some things about me that haven't changed." His tone oozes with sex.

He thrusts upwards and grasps my hips to move me in a circular motion. I gasp sharply, at the sensation.

"Like what?" I moan softly.

"Like this." he gently tugs on the ends of my hair and pulls my head back.

I groan as he speeds up the thrust of his hip.

"What else?"

"And this."

I throw my head back, as he ravishes my breasts, paying special attention to each erect nipple. He gently bites, licks then suckles, all in that order. His ministrations, sends delicious, torturous flutters between my legs. He feels like warm steel against my wet, sensitive flesh, sliding back and forth, back and forth. "Jesus," I hiss at how good it feels.

"More?" he murmurs against my skin.

"Please," I plead

"Mmm, that's so fucking hot." He growls and flips me over. He moves swiftly, catching me off guard. I yelp as he enters me in one smooth thrust. This time he's fast, and dominating, pulling and pushing, but never too rough. He spreads me effortlessly, angles his position so perfectly. Deep penetrating thrusts captivate my body, filling me like I've never been before.

.

.

.

"Mmmm." I stretch and reach for him but he's not there. My eyes open lazily and squint at the sunlight now washing over the room. I check the clock. I glance around the room, wondering where Edward is. The bathroom door is open and there's no water running.

_He must've gone back to the hospital._

I sit up, thinking that I should go home, at the very least to get a change of clothes.

I wrap the sheet around me and climb out of bed.

I've showered and dressed and grab my phone to send Edward a text, to let him know that I'm heading home in case he returns and wonders where I am.

I'm stopped in my tracks at the end of the hall as I hear low voices.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you, Edward."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 28

It's my second cup of coffee and my third cigarette. I'm on edge; there isn't enough caffeine or nicotine in the world that could settle my nerves right now. I've all but lost my mind since I ended that phone call earlier.

I pace the floor, hoping that moving will help me to think straight, calm down. Someone pounds loudly on my front door; this had better be him! I hurriedly stub out my cigarette and race to the door.

"This is bad, Lauren. This is so fucking bad." He pushes past me, pulling on his hair.

"Do you have any idea the state you've put me in? I'm a fucking wreck!"

He grabs my pack of cigarettes from the table, lights up and walks across to the bar and pours himself a glass of whiskey.

"Hello? You just called me, freaking the fuck out, saying that something went wrong? Are you going to tell me what happened, or are you going to get drunk?"

He gulps down the contents of the glass and pours another. His hand trembles as he brings the cigarette to his mouth.

"I hit him."

"What?" "You hit who?"

"Edward! I hit him!"

"What do you mean you _hit _him? You weren't supposed to let him see you, let alone get into a fight with him."

"Fuck…" he grabs his hair and pulls hard. "I hit him with the car, Lauren!"

I'm sure I could not have heard correctly.

"I don't know what happened. He just jumped in front of the car."

My mind scrambles to make sense of what he's saying. He rambles on, but I can't understand a word that he's saying.

I watch him in abject confusion, he's pacing and muttering, soundlessly it seems to me.

"I told you to get proof." I whisper.

"What?" he turns on me. "You _can't_ be serious."

"I told you to get proof." I grit through my teeth. I cannot believe that he fucked up so badly.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I tell you that I may have possibly committed vehicular homicide, and you're worried about whether I got the goods on Edward's girlfriend! You're sick, lady!"

"I told you to get proof, not to plow anyone down with a car!" "Oh my God! Edward!" I jump up as I suddenly realize the ramifications of what he's done.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Where did you leave him, you imbecile?"

"I don't know! I left him at the park with _her_ and that kid."

"Kid? What kid?"

"A toddler. A little boy?" I can't be sure."

My stomach lurches. "A boy or a girl?"

"It looked like a little boy, all right!"

"What did he look like?"

"How the fuck should I know? I wasn't focusing on him."

"What color was his hair?"

"Dark…. almost black."

Bile rises in my throat and my stomach lurches uncontrollably. "Oh God."

I grab my keys and rush for the door. He blocks my path.

"_Wait,_ where are you going?"

"To see if they're all right! They could be badly hurt!" I wrench open the door, and he slams it shut.

"You're not going anywhere near that park. The police are most likely swarming the place by now. And you're hysterical. You'll raise suspicion and get us both tossed into jail. I'm _not_ going to jail, Lauren."

"Take your hands off me! He could be dead!"

I slide down the door and collapse on the floor.

"How did this happen? What did you _do_?"

"Don't get all _'what did you do to my Edward?' _on me. _You _sent me there. _You_ told me where he was and what to do."

"I didn't tell you to kill anyone!"

"It wasn't my fault! He jumped in front of the car. I thought he saw me in my parked car, so I sped away. It wasn't my fault."

He races after me when I get up to retrieve my phone and tries to snatch it from my hand.

"Who are you calling? I swear to God, Lauren…."

"Shut up. I'm calling the hospital to see if he's been admitted. If he's there, they have to give me information. I'm still his wife."

"You can't call the hospital and tell them you're his wife, Lauren. How long do you think it would take before they trace the accident back to you if you do?"

"I didn't hit anyone. You did."

"Then ask yourself…how fast do you think I'll rat your ass out about _everything else_? Don't decide to grow a conscience now, Lauren."

I'm waiting for the receptionist to answer.

"St. Lucien's, where may I direct your call?"

I exhale shakily and glance at James before I answer.

"Patient Information."

I'm driving to Edward's place. I'd been informed that he hadn't been admitted, and I feel sure that if he's not at the hospital then he'd be at home.

I stand in front of the door, trying desperately to calm myself, and finally raise my hand and knock.

He's standing in front of me, and I feel like my prayers have been answered. There are no visible signs of injury, not a damned hair out of place, well, no more than usual. He's still as gorgeous and capable of making my heart leap, even when he's scowling at me as he is now.

"What do you want?"

"Can I come in?" I brush past him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you, Edward."

"What for?"

"I…I just…. we left things in a bad place the last time we saw each other. I want to clear the air."

"Bullshit."

"It's true. Things have gone off the rails with us, and I'm not happy about that. I want to call a truce."

"Off track… a _truce? _Lauren, have you lost your fucking mind? We're way past calling a truce. What you did the other day was unforgivable. Get out." He grabs my arm and ushers me to the door.

"Wait…how's Josh doing?"

He looks at me incredulously.

"You haven't asked about him in months."

"I know that. That's why I'm asking now. I miss him, Edward."

He narrows his eyes. He takes a step back and points at me.

"What?"

"Josh was nearly killed yesterday."

I gasp, and cover my mouth with my hand. He didn't say a thing about hitting Josh; I hadn't even considered that he might have been hurt.

"Oh my God!" He pales visibly,

"Is he…is he going to be all right, Edward?" I feel myself tearing up.

"No…no," he shakes his head at me. "You're going to stand here, look me in the face, with those fucking crocodile tears? You fucking did this! I'm sure of it!"

"Edward…"

"Bella was right. I should've listened to her." He turns away from me and runs both hands through his hair.

"What does_ she_ have to do with any of this?"

He grabs me and slams me against the wall. I cry out in alarm.

"You tried to kill me, Lauren, and in the process you damned near killed my nephew. You're going to be sorry you missed me with that car."

"Edward, let go. You're hurting me!"

"You hate me that much?" He shakes me. "He's just a little boy! How could you do that to him? My God!"

"Edward! Let go of her!"

My head whips around at the sound of a female voice and I see her racing towards us.

"Edward, stop…stop it!" She softly implores, taking hold of his arm, and pulls him away from me.

"I can't believe you'd think that I'd do anything to hurt, Josh! I snivel. I love that little boy. You know that, Edward!"

"You make me sick! You will pay for this. As sure as my name is Edward Masen. _You. Will. Pay."_

"Edward." I whimper. He turns his back and disappears up the stairs.

"What you did to Josh broke him. He loves that boy more than life. Are you happy now?"

"You know nothing about Josh and Edward." I wipe roughly at my eyes. "That car should've hit you."

"That was the goal…. wasn't it?" She shakes her head and stares at me. Suddenly, she freezes.

"What?"

She looks at me confusedly for long minutes, then without saying a word, she takes off after Edward.

"Edward! Edward! Please… You have to believe me!" I run over to the stairs and yell. Neither of them returns.

I flee from his house and rush back home.

I gather all information I have that relates to Isabella Swan and toss it into the fireplace. I take one last look at the photographs of her and Edward together. It twists my gut to see the way he looks at her. He's never looked at me like that.

James silently watches me.

"Give me the file you have on Jacob Black and the photos you took of Bella and Edward yesterday."

"They're in the trunk of my car."

"Go and get them, and after you do that, get rid of the car. Remove all tags and stickers. Destroy that license plate. A Florida plate is clearly distinguishable. Get rid of it, then get lost."

"Lauren, what the hell happened? Did you see, Edward?"

"Do what I said." I turn up the furnace and watch as everything turn to a pile of ash.

"Lauren…."

"James! We don't have time! Edward is suspicious. We have to get rid of everything that links us to that accident. That means the paper trail, the car; you, _everything_!"


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 29

I watch from the top of the stairs, waiting for Lauren to leave. Finally, I hear the front door quietly close. I remain immovable, reliving my altercation with her. But more importantly, I try to gain some clarity around the unbidden vision I had while speaking to her. The car speeding toward us, and now a small, but distinct flash of a license plate, but it nothing else is clearer than that. I shake my head in frustration, it's as if my subconscious is trying to draw my attention to something that I'm being too obtuse to understand.

I'm shaken from my reverie by a loud crash. I rush down the hallway and, I stop in the bedroom doorway and cautiously watch his tirade, contemplating whether it would be best to allow him to vent or to try and stop him.

"That bitch is going to pay."

The bedside lamp smashes as he sweeps it onto the floor.

"You need to calm down, Edward."

"Calm down? She damned near killed my nephew!"

"We don't know that for sure."

He whirls around, scowling. "No more than some hours ago, you were the one who was sure that it was Lauren who hit Josh. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I didn't say I was sure, Edward, I was simply expressing my point of view, and I haven't had a change of heart. I do think that Lauren is involved in some way. I'm just not so sure she was the one who was actually driving."

"Did you hear her, Bella? She came over here to grill me, she was acting very suspiciously. She's behind this."

"I don't doubt that she is behind this, but I'm not one hundred percent sure that she was the one driving." I repeat and approach him. "I saw the look on her face when you said Josh was nearly killed. She turned as white as a sheet."

"It's called guilt, Bella. How could she do that? How could she hurt him? Even if she was not the driver...she's obviously involved in some way!" He sinks into my arms.

"I don't know." I wrap mine around him. I don't want to tell him about the flash that I now recall. I don't know what it means right now, and I've already added fuel to the fire by expressing my thoughts about Lauren's involvement prematurely.

We're mostly quiet on the drive back to my place. I glance over at him, it's obvious that he's brooding. I turn and stare out of the window, there's nothing I can say to reassure him. His nephew is in hospital fighting in recovery and his wife almost certainly had a hand in placing him there. What can I say at this point, which would make him feeling better?

We've arrived at my apartment and he switches off the ignition but doesn't move.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

He sighs and finally turns to face me. "This isn't how I expected our morning to turn out. I'd actually planned on making you breakfast in bed."

"Oh really," I mock surprise. "Breakfast, huh. What were you going to cook?"

"Seriously, Bella, despite everything and the god awful day we had yesterday, last night was perfect, and then Lauren ruined it."

"Edward, look at me." I grab his chin. "She didn't ruin anything. Last night _was_ perfect. _Nothing_ can change that."

He stares at me intently, then wordlessly leans in to kiss me. He exits the car and walks around to open my door.

"Are you coming in?"

"Yes, I mean, if it's alright with you?"

He waits in my bedroom while I shower and change. He's randomly picking up my perfume bottles and smelling the contents.

"Are any to your liking?" I tease.

"Actually, I like this one." He opens the bottle and dots some on his finger and walks to stand behind me. He moves my hair aside and kisses me behind my ear while applying the perfume behind the other.

"You smell so good," he murmurs and peppers open-mouthed kisses down my neck to my shoulder.

My eyes flutter closed and a I moan involuntarily.

"If I could, I'd take up where we left off last night," he whispers.

"Why don't you?" The warmth emanating from the length of his body pressed against mind. I shudder lightly as I feel his arousal against my lower back.

"I have to get to the hospital to see Josh." He steps back with a sigh.

I feel like a selfish little tramp, for just a moment I'd forgotten about Josh.

"Let's go."

"You don't have to, you know…."

I hold up my hand and grab my cardigan.

"I want to make sure that Josh is okay too, Edward. Shall we?" I extend my hand, and he glances at it, then smiles and laces his fingers with mine.

At my suggestion, we stop off to get coffee for Alice and Jasper, as I feel sure that they've barely taken a moment to either eat or rest.

I feel a bit apprehensive as we walk through the lobby as I remember Alice's reaction to first seeing me. I don't really blame her for her response, given the circumstances. I feel awkward but I want to be here for both Edward and Josh.

We don't speak as we ride the elevator to Josh's floor. Medical staff greet Edward as we make our way, some obviously wondering who I am. I smile inwardly as I witness the obvious respect they afford him.

Edward's parents and Emmett are in the waiting room.

"Edward, sweetheart, I'm so glad you're here." His mother jumps up to embrace him.

"Hello, Mom. How's Josh?"

"Doctor Newton says he's doing well. He's going to be fine. We're just waiting for him to wake up," his father adds and they exchange a brief hug. "It's good to see you again, Bella."

"You too, Doctor Masen."

He fixes me with a humorous glare.

"I mean, Edward." I correct myself and smile shyly. Edward raises his eyebrow playfully, and I shrug in return.

"Mom, this is Bella. Bella this is my mother, Elizabeth."

"It's nice to meet you." I offer my hand, and she shakes it warmly.

The likeness between Edward and his mother is striking, same hair color and eyes. I pull myself up as I realize that I'm staring.

"Umm… We stopped to get coffee for Josh's parents. I'm sorry, I didn't think to bring more." I add nervously.

"It's all right, dear. We've had plenty, not the good kind either," she laughs. "Alice and Jasper will appreciate the thought. And God knows, they need to take a break and eat something.".

"I'll be right back. I'm going to have a peek at Josh's chart," Edward addresses me then heads over to the nurse's station.

Emmett comes over and flops down next to me.

"You guys have finally gone public, huh?" His dimples crease deeply as he smiles.

"Not exactly, and I think you know the reasons why."

"It's only a matter of time." He whispers, so his parents are oblivious to the conversation.

"You're going to torture me, aren't you?"

"Yep."

I smile and shake my head at him.

"So, Bella." Edward's mother smiles. "What do you do for living?"

I clear my throat and shift uncomfortably. "I'm a marriage therapist."

Her brows shoot up, and her eyes immediately dart over to Edward as he approaches. "_No_." She extols in disbelief and then smiles broadly.

"Yes mother, she is, and she's damned good at it too." Edward interjects.

"_Obviously_," Emmett snorts, I pinch his arm and enjoy seeing his slight grimace.

"Ow!"

Despite the awkwardness of my revelation, I somehow don't feel like an outsider in this group.

"It's Josh!" Alice bursts into the lobby.

Everyone jumps up in alarm, and I suddenly feel sick to the stomach.

"Alice?" he quietly questions.

"He's awake, Edward! He's awake, alert, talking and wants food!" She jumps into his arms, and I watch the relief wash over his face, his eyes alight with emotion.

"He's asking for you." She cries happily as he gently rocks her back and forth. He releases her and offers me his hand. I look at him in surprise, and hesitantly place my hand in his.

"Come with me."

He pulls me up out of the chair. "Are you sure?" I address Edward, but turn my head to Alice.

She smilingly nods her approval.

Chapter 30

I stand back and watch Josh and Edward. This kid constantly amazes me. After everything he's been through, and I know that he cannot be entirely comfortable, he hasn't voiced one complaint; not even about being in hospital.

Edward is promising him everything under the sun. His love for Josh is blatantly obvious, and I find myself wondering what kind of father he'd be; that he could have been, if his son were alive today.

My feelings about Edward have undergone a complete about turn when compared to my first impressions of him. And it's not just because of his astounding good looks and impressive presence, or the incredible sex. I'm seeing the good in this man. Yes, he's flawed, more flawed than anyone I've ever known; but he's compassionate, loving and kind. He loves his family unconditionally, and the way he was with me last night solidifies my newly developed feelings for him.

I wonder whether these were the same qualities, which drove Lauren's obsession, the reason she went to such extremes to have him.

But I immediately discount any rationale that would excuse what she did to him. She drugged him then took advantage of his weakened state and in the process, she destroyed the core of the man. Nothing can excuse that.

I recall her distraught state this morning. The way she crumpled when he told her that she disgusted him. Her concern for Josh appeared to be genuine, but both her behavior and what she said, was highly alarming. And thinking about the events of the morning, I also remember my latest vision of the car hurtling its way toward us, I'm still battling to make out the details of the license plate flash.

"Uncwle Edward, I'm hungwy and thwirsty." Josh's rasps.

"I know, buddy, but remember what uncle Edward told you…. about what kind of food you can have right now?"

"Lik….likawids?"

I can't help my broadened smile, he's just so adorable.

"Yep, just liquids, bud."

"But I wanna hotdwog," Josh whines.

Edward turns and looks at me, at a loss for what to do, and I try to help.

"Hey, Josh, do you like Jell–O?"

"The wed kind?"

I turn to Edward and mouth '_Bingo'._

"Of course, the red kind!" I say with exaggerated enthusiasm.

"No."

Edward grimaces at me.

"The gween kind. I want gween and owange juice."

"You've got it. Be right back."

I leave, to find green Jell-O and orange juice.

I pass Edward, Jasper and Alice on my way back. They're standing outside Josh's room, and he's regaling them with the details of Lauren's surprise visit. Alice practically has to be restrained. She threatening to run Lauren over repeatedly. "Then, she can bloody know how it feels!" she yells, eyes literally popping, her face flushed with rage.

Jasper and Alice demand that Edward tell the police about his suspicions, and he agrees to do so as soon as he leaves the hospital. He informs them that he wanted to alert them first, in case Lauren shows up at the hospital. I leave them to it and enter Josh's room.

I had to make the drive to the local delicatessen, as the hospital did not have lime Jell-O on the menu today. I didn't mind in the least; my efforts are more than rewarded as I watch him enthusiastically tuck into the dessert.

He practically scowls at me when I offer to feed him.

"How's the Jell-O, Josh?"

"Gweat," he mumbles and reaches for his orange juice and sips from the straw. "Mmm, I wove owange juice."

"Me too. It's my favorite." I run a hand over his soft, dark hair.

"Fwordida owanges."

"What's that, Josh?"

"Owanges come fwom Fwor-widahh." He informs me helpfully.

"Uncwle Edward told me."

Suddenly, I get another flash. It's clearer this time. The license plate details. Hit has an orange on it. The car that hit Josh and Edward was a black sportscar with Florida plates.

"Your uncle is totally right, buddy." I respond absentmindedly. The trio returns, and I gently grab Edward's arm.

"I need to talk to you," I whisper. He frowns, but nods and leads the way to the lobby.

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't want to mention any of this in front of Josh and his parents. And I didn't tell you before, because I thought it was meaningless. But it's clear now, and I feel certain that I'm right."

"What are you talking about, Bella?"

"I've been having flashbacks of the accident."

His brows knit together.

I'm hesitant to tell him, remembering his destructive display after Lauren's departure. There's a big chance that in his fury, he'll do something rash.

"And?"

"They're sketchy."

"Bella, would you _please_ just tell me what you remember?" His voice escalates.

"I remember seeing the license plate."

"You remember? That's…. man, that's good news! Come." He pulls me over to the nurse's station and asks for a pen and paper.

"Here, write down the number, and I'll give it to the police when I stop by the station."

"Edward, I don't know the plate number, I…"

"But you just said you saw it." He looks irritated.

"I remember seeing the plate, not the number, but I do know that it's a Florida license. They're very distinctive."

"Florida plates?" he frowns in confusion. "Lauren doesn't…."

I grab his arm and lead the way to a more private area.

"It was a black car, I'm pretty sure that it's a sports model, but the license is definitely from Florida. This probably clears Lauren, but didn't you say that James lives in Florida, and that he and Lauren have been in touch?"

A look of pure fury suffuses his face.

"This doesn't clear her, Bella. She may not have been driving, but she's up to her neck in this. They're both going to pay for what they did to Josh!" He turns and slams his fist into the wall behind him. We've gained the attention of everyone in the nearby vicinity.

He strides purposely toward the elevator.

"Where are you going?" I finally catch up with him. "Edward, you can't go and see Lauren. You're too angry!"

"I'm going to the police, Bella. Are you coming?"

.

.

.

"Let me get this straight, Doctor Masen. You think your wife tried to kill you and your nephew?" The detective looks at Edward in confusion.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Now what are going to do about it?"

"It's not that simple, Doctor Masen. You can't just accuse someone of something this serious, and expect us to just accept you at your word and arrest the person. We deal with facts. Now, why don't you tell me why you think your wife is behind this?"

Edward scrubs his face roughly, but fills the detective in, leaving out small, yet important details.

Now the man is not only looking confused, he's looking decidedly skeptical.

"What are you waiting for? I've told you everything, now I want both her and James arrested for what they did to my nephew."

"Although I sympathize with you, it doesn't work that way. I will have to question your wife and find out if there is any evidence to support your accusations. This James character is a different story." He takes Edward's statement over to a filing cabinet and places it into a folder. Edward follows him.

"What do you mean, he's a different story?"

"Well, if what you say about James is true, and he's not a resident of our jurisdiction and there's a possibility he may have left the state, we will have to liaise with the Florida police in our investigations."

"What?" Edward practically bellows.

"Sorry, but it's the law. Besides, you haven't told me why your wife and this guy would want to do this. There has to be a reason. I suspect that you are not telling me everything, and believe me, it would speed up the process greatly if you did, Doctor Masen."

"This is fucking ridiculous. My nephew and I were damned near killed, and you're treating _me_ like I did something wrong. I want to speak to the head of this department."

"Fine, I'll get him, but he'll say nothing different than what I just said. Wait here."

Edward runs his hand through his hair and perches the other on his hip, huffing in frustration. I walk over to him and rub his arm comfortingly.

"This is unbelievable. Did you hear that?"

"Yes, I heard everything."

"I won't let them get away with this, Bella."

"I know you won't. There is a way."

He waits impatiently for me to elaborate.

"You have to tell them why Lauren and James would want to do this. You have to tell them _everything_, Edward."

A look of denial instantly morphs across his face.

He clenches his jaw repeatedly. He's at war with himself, and it kills me to see him like this. I know just how much he fears having this knowledge in the public arena.

His eyes burn into mine, he exhales loudly. "For Josh, I'll do this."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 30

I stand back and watch Josh and Edward. This kid constantly amazes me. After everything he's been through, and I know that he cannot be entirely comfortable, he hasn't voiced one complaint; not even about being in hospital.

Edward is promising him everything under the sun. His love for Josh is blatantly obvious, and I find myself wondering what kind of father he'd be; that he could have been, if his son were alive today.

My feelings about Edward have undergone a complete about turn when compared to my first impressions of him. And it's not just because of his astounding good looks and impressive presence, or the incredible sex. I'm seeing the good in this man. Yes, he's flawed, more flawed than anyone I've ever known; but he's compassionate, loving and kind. He loves his family unconditionally, and the way he was with me last night solidifies my newly developed feelings for him.

I wonder whether these were the same qualities, which drove Lauren's obsession, the reason she went to such extremes to have him.

But I immediately discount any rationale that would excuse what she did to him. She drugged him then took advantage of his weakened state and in the process, she destroyed the core of the man. Nothing can excuse that.

I recall her distraught state this morning. The way she crumpled when he told her that she disgusted him. Her concern for Josh appeared to be genuine, but both her behavior and what she said, was highly alarming. And thinking about the events of the morning, I also remember my latest vision of the car hurtling its way toward us, I'm still battling to make out the details of the license plate flash.

"Uncwle Edward, I'm hungwy and thwirsty." Josh's rasps.

"I know, buddy, but remember what uncle Edward told you…. about what kind of food you can have right now?"

"Lik….likawids?"

I can't help my broadened smile, he's just so adorable.

"Yep, just liquids, bud."

"But I wanna hotdwog," Josh whines.

Edward turns and looks at me, at a loss for what to do, and I try to help.

"Hey, Josh, do you like Jell–O?"

"The wed kind?"

I turn to Edward and mouth '_Bingo'._

"Of course, the red kind!" I say with exaggerated enthusiasm.

"No."

Edward grimaces at me.

"The gween kind. I want gween and owange juice."

"You've got it. Be right back."

I leave, to find green Jell-O and orange juice.

I pass Edward, Jasper and Alice on my way back. They're standing outside Josh's room, and he's regaling them with the details of Lauren's surprise visit. Alice practically has to be restrained. She threatening to run Lauren over repeatedly. "Then, she can bloody know how it feels!" she yells, eyes literally popping, her face flushed with rage.

Jasper and Alice demand that Edward tell the police about his suspicions, and he agrees to do so as soon as he leaves the hospital. He informs them that he wanted to alert them first, in case Lauren shows up at the hospital. I leave them to it and enter Josh's room.

I had to make the drive to the local delicatessen, as the hospital did not have lime Jell-O on the menu today. I didn't mind in the least; my efforts are more than rewarded as I watch him enthusiastically tuck into the dessert.

He practically scowls at me when I offer to feed him.

"How's the Jell-O, Josh?"

"Gweat," he mumbles and reaches for his orange juice and sips from the straw. "Mmm, I wove owange juice."

"Me too. It's my favorite." I run a hand over his soft, dark hair.

"Fwordida owanges."

"What's that, Josh?"

"Owanges come fwom Fwor-widahh." He informs me helpfully.

"Uncwle Edward told me."

Suddenly, I get another flash. It's clearer this time. The license plate details. Hit has an orange on it. The car that hit Josh and Edward was a black sportscar with Florida plates.

"Your uncle is totally right, buddy." I respond absentmindedly. The trio returns, and I gently grab Edward's arm.

"I need to talk to you," I whisper. He frowns, but nods and leads the way to the lobby.

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't want to mention any of this in front of Josh and his parents. And I didn't tell you before, because I thought it was meaningless. But it's clear now, and I feel certain that I'm right."

"What are you talking about, Bella?"

"I've been having flashbacks of the accident."

His brows knit together.

I'm hesitant to tell him, remembering his destructive display after Lauren's departure. There's a big chance that in his fury, he'll do something rash.

"And?"

"They're sketchy."

"Bella, would you _please_ just tell me what you remember?" His voice escalates.

"I remember seeing the license plate."

"You remember? That's…. man, that's good news! Come." He pulls me over to the nurse's station and asks for a pen and paper.

"Here, write down the number, and I'll give it to the police when I stop by the station."

"Edward, I don't know the plate number, I…"

"But you just said you saw it." He looks irritated.

"I remember seeing the plate, not the number, but I do know that it's a Florida license. They're very distinctive."

"Florida plates?" he frowns in confusion. "Lauren doesn't…."

I grab his arm and lead the way to a more private area.

"It was a black car, I'm pretty sure that it's a sports model, but the license is definitely from Florida. This probably clears Lauren, but didn't you say that James lives in Florida, and that he and Lauren have been in touch?"

A look of pure fury suffuses his face.

"This doesn't clear her, Bella. She may not have been driving, but she's up to her neck in this. They're both going to pay for what they did to Josh!" He turns and slams his fist into the wall behind him. We've gained the attention of everyone in the nearby vicinity.

He strides purposely toward the elevator.

"Where are you going?" I finally catch up with him. "Edward, you can't go and see Lauren. You're too angry!"

"I'm going to the police, Bella. Are you coming?"

.

.

.

"Let me get this straight, Doctor Masen. You think your wife tried to kill you and your nephew?" The detective looks at Edward in confusion.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Now what are going to do about it?"

"It's not that simple, Doctor Masen. You can't just accuse someone of something this serious, and expect us to just accept you at your word and arrest the person. We deal with facts. Now, why don't you tell me why you think your wife is behind this?"

Edward scrubs his face roughly, but fills the detective in, leaving out small, yet important details.

Now the man is not only looking confused, he's looking decidedly skeptical.

"What are you waiting for? I've told you everything, now I want both her and James arrested for what they did to my nephew."

"Although I sympathize with you, it doesn't work that way. I will have to question your wife and find out if there is any evidence to support your accusations. This James character is a different story." He takes Edward's statement over to a filing cabinet and places it into a folder. Edward follows him.

"What do you mean, he's a different story?"

"Well, if what you say about James is true, and he's not a resident of our jurisdiction and there's a possibility he may have left the state, we will have to liaise with the Florida police in our investigations."

"What?" Edward practically bellows.

"Sorry, but it's the law. Besides, you haven't told me why your wife and this guy would want to do this. There has to be a reason. I suspect that you are not telling me everything, and believe me, it would speed up the process greatly if you did, Doctor Masen."

"This is fucking ridiculous. My nephew and I were damned near killed, and you're treating _me_ like I did something wrong. I want to speak to the head of this department."

"Fine, I'll get him, but he'll say nothing different than what I just said. Wait here."

Edward runs his hand through his hair and perches the other on his hip, huffing in frustration. I walk over to him and rub his arm comfortingly.

"This is unbelievable. Did you hear that?"

"Yes, I heard everything."

"I won't let them get away with this, Bella."

"I know you won't. There is a way."

He waits impatiently for me to elaborate.

"You have to tell them why Lauren and James would want to do this. You have to tell them _everything_, Edward."

A look of denial instantly morphs across his face.

He clenches his jaw repeatedly. He's at war with himself, and it kills me to see him like this. I know just how much he fears having this knowledge in the public arena.

His eyes burn into mine, he exhales loudly. "For Josh, I'll do this."


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER 31

I drive Bella home. I've told the full story, that James and Lauren had drugged me eight years ago and how those events led to yesterday's tragedy. I've been assured that they would follow up with me as soon as Lauren's been questioned. I'm still not sure what they'll do about James, but somehow, he too will pay for his crime.

Bella looks worried, tugging on her bottom lip with her teeth. I release it, gently pulling at it with my thumb.

"Do you have to do this?"

I look into her beautiful eyes, wanting her to see how much she means to me, I caress her cheek, pushing away a loose strand of hair.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. For last night and being here for me, and for my family today; and mostly for Josh. For believing in me enough to give us a chance, but ultimately for what you just did for me back there, at the police station."

She gives me a half smile and covers my hand with her own. "I didn't do much."

I could go back and forth with her about how much she's done for me, but instead, I cup her face and lean down to kiss her. She lets out a soft whimper, and I pull away reluctantly. If I don't stop, I'll be here all night, and right now, I have more pressing matters to deal with.

"I have to go."

"Edward, wait. I'll go with you." She grabs my arm and tries to stop me.

"That's not a good idea. I need to do this alone."

"But…."

Before she has a chance to change my mind, I walk away hurriedly and hop into my car. This is my mess, and I need to be the one to fix it.

It's dark, and it's beginning to rain. When I'm stopped at a red light, I send two text messages; one to Alice and the other to Lauren, asking that she meet me at the hospital. I fabricate a reason for the meeting. She responds before the light turns green.

Bella has sent me five messages since her. I finally send her a message, telling her not to worry and that everything will be over soon.

I park and wait. This is the only place, after what I'd said to her, that I believe that she would meet me. The necessary lie about Josh was the only thing that she would find plausible without her suspecting my motives.

I watch as her car approaches, and I open my door.

She skids into a parking space, and I have to force myself not to scoff aloud at her faked concern.

"Edward, is he all right? What's happened?"

"Josh is fine. I needed to see you, and I knew it was the only way to get you here."

Droplets of rain are starting to fall more heavily. Her head and face are soon drenched. She tightens the belt of her trench coat and pulls up the collar.

"What do you mean, he's fine? Your text led me to believe that he had taken a turn for the worse?"

"Like I said, it was the only way."

"The only way? Why am I here, Edward? This morning you wouldn't give me the time of day. You refused to acknowledge that I cared about Josh. I love…."

"I've gone to the police, and I've told them everything, Lauren."

She blanches and takes a step back.

"Wha ...what do you mean?" she stammers.

"I've informed them of everything… what you and James did to me… everything, Lauren."

"Why…. why would you do that? Edward… you're upset about Josh and taking it out on me."

"I also told them that I believe that you were behind the hit and run."

"What? I wasn't driving the car!" she blurts out, and I know that I have her right where I want her.

"Who was driving the car, Lauren?" I clench my teeth in an effort to stay calm.

"I…I… don't know!" Her eyes widen in alarm.

Her cellphone rings, and she jumps. She digs it out of her bag and reads the screen. looking even more panicked as she sends the call to voicemail.

"I-I have to go. Tell Josh I love him." She turns, and I pull her back somewhat roughly.

"Who was on the phone, Lauren?"

"No one." A tear slides down her cheek. Her phone rings again, and she whimpers.

"Answer it. Now!" I grab hold of her wrist, and she nearly drops the phone.

"No!"

I snatch it from her and look at the screen, and sure as shit, it's him.

She's shouts and then pleads with me not to answer it, all the while, fighting me to retrieve the phone. I hold her off with one arm and press the answer, then speaker button.

"Lauren, where the fuck are you! The police just left here! Hello… hello?"

I end the call and turn to look at her. Her eyes are wild, and she's shaking. I glare at her venomously then turn, and with all my strength, I heave the phone across the parking lot and listen to it smash against the asphalt. I grab her arm and yank her forward

"You're going to tell the police what you've done, and you're going to do that right now!" I growl.

"Let go of me, Edward! I haven't done anything. Let go! It was James! He was the one driving the car!" She wrenches away and turns toward her car. Alice appears, blocks her path and glowers at her. Two policemen hurriedly follow.

"You're not going anywhere, you bitch! You're going to pay for what you did to my son."

Lauren looks back and forth between us, her mouth agape in horror.

"Mrs. Masen, we would like to ask you some questions about the hit and run involving your husband and Joshua Whitlock."

"I don't know anything about the accident. I have to get home."

"I'm afraid we can't allow that, Mrs. Masen. You'll have to come with us." They lead Lauren away, still loudly protesting her innocence.

.

.

.

I feel emotionally spent. Josh has fallen asleep and Alice left to go home for the night. I head down to my office. The rain has stopped and the moonlight peeking through the slats of the vertical blinds casts an ambience of false serenity.

My mind, in stark contrast, is in turmoil. The events of the last forty-eight hours ricochet around my head like a ping pong ball; the happiness I felt with Bella and Josh in the park, the almost numbing panic that overtook me at the sight of Josh's fragile and bloodied face. The guilt and despair that I felt in the aftermath of the accident, the pure joy I'd experienced when making love with Bella, and the comfort I felt from her presence throughout it all. But overwhelmingly, it's the way I felt when I was forced to relive the shame and humiliation as I regaled the police sordid acts that Lauren and James had perpetrated against me. I imagine that I'll be feeling a hell of a lot worse if it becomes public knowledge.

I tell myself over and over, that what I'd done was necessary to gain justice for Josh.

_For Josh_. I keep the mantra going as I try to fight off my rising panic. I feel whatever control I'd managed to regain after those dreadful events, slowly ebbing away as I continue to think about the ramifications of my statement to the police

I need to get out of here; I'm driving myself insane, going over the same things over and over. I'd hoped that the open road help to clear my thoughts, but it's sadly not enough, not even listening to my favorite music seems to be able to get my mind off things. I need a distraction.

"Hello?" She mumbles sleepily.

"It's me. Is it too late to come by?"

"It's nearly two in the morning. Where are you?"

"I'm about five minutes from your place. Is it okay?"

The Silence, which has echoed down the line for minutes, is finally broken by her sigh. "Okay. I'll see you soon."

I had, in fact been parked outside her house for ten minutes before drumming up the courage to make the call.

I pause my raised hand and press my forehead against the door and take a couple of deep breaths.

Lauren has already taken so much from me, and now she's taking once again.

_Control_.

It's like an unwanted song on an endless loop, going around and around. I've been sorely tempted to seek out my old, tried and trusted way to gain that control.

"What's happened?" she asks in consternation. I pull her into a tight embrace and inhale her scent. It instantly centers me, and I realize that it's not control that I want or need; it's comfort, her comfort.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Bella. I don't want to be like her." I mumble into the crook of her neck.

"Edward…what are you talking about?" She threads a hand through my hair as she speaks.

"Lauren. I don't want to be like her. I don't want to do what she did to me."

"You could never be like her. You could _never_ do what she did, Edward. Look at me." She pulls back to look at me. I avert my eyes,

Since Lauren's revelation, I've been doing exactly what she did to me; gaining control by using someone else. All the women, the cheating had been a way for me to feel in control, control she stole from me. I can finally see that.

"Bella, you don't get it. All those women I've taped. Who knows exactly how many marriages I've helped to destroy….I…"

"You can't say that. I _do_ get it. I know where all this is coming from. I know how hard it was for you to disclose such personal details about your life to strangers today, but…"

I shake my head and try to pull away from her, but she grabs my face, demanding that I look at her.

"I'm with you, Edward. You don't have to go through this alone."

"You_ don't_ know! She took something away from me, and now _I'm_ the one whotakes."

"No…I'm not listening to this. I don't know what happened after you left here, but I won't let you do this to yourself. I've seen the way you are with Josh and your family; the way you are with me."

"The way I _was _with you when we first met," I correct. "The way I _wanted_ to be with you less than five minutes ago.

"That was then."

"No, _it_ is now! You have _no_ idea what my intentions were before I got here, Bella. Believe me." I turn away, disgusted with myself.

"Tell me."

"Fuck! Not this again. For the tenth time, you are not my shrink."

"God! You are so damned difficult." She spins me around. "I'm not trying to analyze you, Edward. I just want you talk to me. I thought we were starting something, you and I? I thought after everything we've been through to get to this point, that it meant something; that _we _meant something to each other. I want to know _everything_ that you feel; what hurts you, what makes you happy, and not because of who we started off as, but because of who we've become."

She's so beautiful, so sincere, and she's right. She means so much to me. We've come a long way since the day that I first walked into her office. I was consumed by my anger and guarded back then. Somehow, she managed to tear down the wall I've built around myself. She saw through the façade and made me confront the man I had become. I no longer want to be that man.

I take a breath. "I went to see Victoria tonight, just before I came here."

She tries her best to remain stoic, but I see the hurt and disappointment. She swallows hard, several times.

"Oh." Her voice sounds cracked, and I feel my stomach drop.

I wait for the angry backlash. She doesn't say a word, she's waiting for me to explain myself.

"When I left here, I contacted the police and Alice and asked them to meet me in the hospital parking lot. I then called Lauren, on the pretext that something had happened to Josh, and asked her to meet me there as well. We had an altercation in which she said some damning things, and the police took her in for questioning.

I stayed behind at the hospital. I wanted to see Josh before he fell asleep, and then I just ...I sat in my office thinking." I walk through to the living room and turn to face her, but she hasn't budged from where I'd left her just inside the closed front door.

"Bella…"

"You went to see Victoria, _and_..?"

"And nothing. I sat in my office damned near having a panic attack, thinking about how things would change for me once all that shit became public knowledge. People at work, people I know, my family; I've ever only told Emmett, no one else in my family knows. I couldn't…I couldn't take it. I went in search of something, _anything _to make me feel like…" I look around, desperately trying to find the right words from somewhere to articulate how I felt ... how I feel.

"You're looking for a way to regain control. You feel it slipping away. Reverting back to form establishes control for you."

_She knows._

"I _hate_ feeling this way, Bella. I hate letting people have power over me."

"So, take the power back. _You_ be in control."

I bark out a sarcastic laugh and walk over to the bookcase.

"You know what I mean, Edward" She follows me.

"How's Josh?" I detect her anger rising. This is her way of putting a lid on her ire.

"He's doing better, probably talking a little too much now."

I pick up a photo of her with her Johns Hopkins graduating class. She looks so happy and carefree. I replace the photo with her graduation cap tassel that is displayed alongside the frame and fiddle with it.

"Did you fuck her, Edward?" she snaps. Her amber eyes blaze at me. Behind the fiery anger, I detect hurt and confusion.

I shake my head, and I hold her eyes unwaveringly. "_Hell_ no. Never again."

Some of the anger visibly drains from her, but she's still upset. I close the distance between us, and before I can pull her close, she practically jumps into my arms.

I groan deeply when her tongue enters my mouth and brushes against mine.

Our hands pull and tear at unwanted clothing. She's wild, and I welcome it; I revel in every second of it. She knots her hands in my hair and tugs, almost painfully. I sense that she's trying to punish me for putting her through this. She pulls my head back and devours my mouth. She wraps her legs around my waist and grinds her hips, hitting just the right spot, and I growl as the sensations course through my body. I force myself to break our kiss so I can look into her eyes. "I wanted _you_, Bella, not her. I knew it the moment I reached her doorstep. I needed _you_."

"Show me." She caresses my face. I lead us to the sofa and untangle her from my body before easing back against the cushions. She quickly undoes my belt and pants, while I wrestle with my shirt.

She stands motionlessly in front of me, her eyes never leaving mine, as I undress her. God, she's perfect. I'm fully erect as I take in all her naked glory.

I gently thread my fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck and pull her face to mine. I taste her everywhere; her seductive, pouty lips, her neck, her shoulders and breasts. I swirl my tongue around the nipple feeling it firm, before I start to suck gently. Her head falls back, and she cries out in pleasure when my hand slips between her legs and teases her.

I let out a low moan when I feel how wet she already is.

"Turn around," I say softly.

I guide her into a kneeling position on the sofa, and I climb up behind her, my legs on the outside of hers, my pelvis flush against her luscious curves. I kiss and suck her neck and her grip on the sofa visibly tightens. My erection glides easily between her legs as I move back and forth. The feeling is simultaneously euphoric and torturous. She matches her hips to my rhythm, and I can no longer wait to be inside her.

"I don't have protection." I pant heavily into her ear. I know that I should stop, but there is a part of me that is still as selfish and domineering as ever. I make it difficult for her to protest as I angle my hips and stroke upward, hitting her most sensitive spot. Her breath shudders, and I do it repeatedly.

"I'm protected." She forces out a whisper.

.

.

.

I cry out, and he grunts with every stroke. He spreads my legs wider and rides me relentlessly. The more sounds I emit, the harder he rocks into me. His face is buried in the side of my damp neck. One hand massages and kneads my breast, while the other is between my legs, moving in slow torturous circles. He ensures that I'm pleasured in every way possible. His hands, his mouth and his cock work me into a frenzy. He's so good at what he does. I'm just a mindless being, nothing but feeling.

The coil in my stomach tightens, threatening to snap.

His movements become frantic as he nears his climax. His hand disappears from between my legs and slams against the wall in front of us.

I push back against him, meeting his every stroke, sending him closer to the edge. I'm right there, at the precipice, alongside him.

"Shit! I'm so fucking close…I'm going to come inside of you!"

I don't care. I want him to do it. It feels too good to have him pull away, to not have him close to me.

He sinks himself into me deeply one last time, and we cry out as we both come undone.

We collapse, still intimately connected as we try to regulate our breathing. He makes no attempt to pull away, and when he throbs inside of me, I reflexively clench my muscles. He chuckles a low moan and wraps his arms around me.

"You like that, don't you?"

"Don't be arrogant." I gasp as he withdraws from me and settles back against my body.

"I'm not." He spoons me and kisses the back of my neck. "It's okay to like the way I make you feel. I _love _the way you make me feel, Bella."

I turn around to see his face, and he's already drifting to sleep. I smile because he looks so calm now, not a worry in the world.

I think back to our earlier exchange. He nearly broke my heart when he told me that he went to see Victoria. I tried to hide how upset I was, but I know I failed dismally. I never want to imagine him with anyone other than me.

"I love the way you make me feel too." I plant a light kiss on his lips and lean into his chest.

.

.

.

I'm startled from my sleep by the sound of clanging pots and loud profanity. It's morning, and I'm naked, lying on the sofa, draped in the duvet, which is usually kept in the linen closet. I look around, wondering how I came to be here, in this state. It all comes to me; Edward came over late, and we made love on this sofa, and now he's in my kitchen doing God knows what.

I wrap myself in the duvet and make my way to the kitchen. I stop in the doorway and enjoy the view. He's completely naked, he has a glorious ass, and I can't help but imagine what it must have looked like, moving, as he took me from behind.

"Fuck!" He curses when he burns his finger on the frying pan. I giggle, and he turns to look at me in surprise.

"You need some help?" I smile.

"No. I've got it covered." He soothes the burn by sticking his finger in his mouth.

"You…hardly have it covered, Edward." I let my eyes travel to his prominent manhood.

"Well, you weren't supposed to see me. I had planned on having breakfast waiting for you when you woke up."

"I think this way is much better." I bite my lip as I saunter toward him. He pulls me into his arms and holds me close.

"I really enjoyed last night, well, this morning."

"Me too," I admit somewhat shyly. "What's for breakfast?"

"You know the answer to that already." He laughs, leaning back to look at me. "Why don't you go and get comfortable on the sofa, and I can get on with my original plans."

He kisses me quickly then ushers me out of the kitchen. He goes back to fumbling with pots and silverware. I stick my head back into the kitchen to get another glimpse of his perfect ass, and he catches me ogling. "Um…I like cheese in my omelet."

He nods and raises both brows in a knowing look, then smiles and shakes his head at me in mock chastisement.

We spend the morning simply enjoying each other. We make love and relax on the sofa. The breakfast he cooked was surprisingly delicious. I'm starting to unearth all of Edward Masen's many talents.

"It's nearly noon. I have to go in to work." I lament.

"I feel used," he sighs as he plays lazily with my hair.

"What?" I turn to find he's smiling teasingly. "You're joking."

"No. I feel used, first my body, then my fabulous cooking, then my body again. Women!"

"Whatever," I laugh and move to sit up. He pulls me back and kisses my back and shoulders, my eyes flutter closed as I enjoy the sensations. I reluctantly get up; he moves his lips lower. "Edward…"

"Hmm?"

"You have to stop." I protest unconvincingly.

"You don't really want me to."

I feel just how hard he is as he stands behind me. As if my body has a mind of its own, I arch back into him.

I turn around to face him and put a safe distance between us. He bites his bottom lip playfully and closes the distance.

"I _have_ to go to work." I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Ten minutes."

"No." I step back

"Five minutes." He steps forward.

"Five minutes, yeah." I scoff and turn to head up the stairs. "I have forty minutes to shower, dress and drive to work."

"I can work with that." He chases me into the shower.

.

.

.

After the most intense, sexual shower experience, we both leave for work. He promises to fill me in on what happened with Lauren when we see each other later.

Leah's eyes light up when she sees me step off the elevator.

"Oh my God, are you all right? I heard about the accident."

"I'm fine." I wave a hand dismissively. "Uh… the nephew of a friend of mine was hurt, but he's recovering."

"Oh, my goodness, a little boy? Rosalie came by to check on things and told me what happened. She said it was Doctor Masen and his nephew."

"Well, Rosalie has a big mouth; and yes, it's true. I was with them when the accident happened."

"I'm…I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to pry. I was just worried."

"Oh, I know. I'm not upset. It's just been a _crazy_ forty-eight hours." I sink into the chair in front of her desk. "Edward was such as mess, worrying about his nephew. It's been tough for them."

She narrows her eyes and gives me a weird look. Her gaze then drops down to the desk.

"Leah, what's wrong?"

"You called him Edward."

I exhale deeply, realizing my mistake, but I know there is no longer any need to lie. Edward will be around a lot, and there are bound to be questions.

"Leah, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, and I feel like I can trust you." I take another deep breath. "Doctor Masen…Edward is no longer a patient of mine."

"Did something happen?"

"Yes," I chuckle nervously. "Without going into detail right now, I'll just say that he and I have become close."

"Oh." She deadpans, but I sense she's holding back.

"Leah, if you have something to say, please, just say it. We haven't known each other that long, but I do consider you a friend."

"I'm just...I'm worried."

"Worried? What about?"

"I've heard things about him. I mean he's obviously extremely handsome, and I know he's an amazing cardio-surgeon, but I hear he's trouble when it comes to women."

I'm not surprised at all by her concern. Edward's past lifestyle hasn't been a well-kept secret, and he certainly has never tried to hide it. But they don't know him the way I do. I'm sure of that.

"Edward is a complicated man, Leah, and I'm aware that he has a past, but it's just that. _A past_." I get up and walk toward my office.

"I understand. I didn't mean to overstep."

"You didn't." I smile warmly at her, so she knows I'm that I'm being honest. "And I appreciate your concern, but everything's fine. Don't worry so much it'll give you premature wrinkles. My mom told me that once." I frown, realizing that I am now quoting my mother. I hear her laugh as I enter my office.

.

.

.

The patient sitting across from me is the perfect example of 'getting married too young and too soon'. Mr. and Mrs. Jeffries are a young couple who are in love and believed that they were ready for the commitment of marriage, without understanding that they both still had growing to do. And the real issue is that neither talked about their expectations before taking such a serious step. They were caught up in their emotions and passion. Hardly the first of such cases I've dealt with.

"He's never home. I'm young. He doesn't want me to work. What do you suggest I do all day? Stepping out on him isn't a choice I'm proud of, Doctor Swan." Her speech is staccato, her attitude bordering on belligerent.

It's obvious that she's used to getting a lot of attention or needs a lot of attention, and for whatever reason, she feels neglected and possibly undervalued by her husband. I know that this is not the case. In my meeting with Mr. Jeffries, I could tell that he adores his wife. But he, like most of us, is a product of his upbringing and other major influencing events in his life. He comes from a family where his mother and father were married soon after graduating from college, and after nearly twenty-five years, are still happy and very much in love. His father has built a very successful career and provided more than adequately for his family. His mother has never worked. Her main focus in life is to support her husband, build a loving home and nurture her family. She doesn't view this as a hardship, rather a privilege. She does charitable works and has a lively, fulfilling social life. Mr. Jeffries had grown up being loved and made to feel secure; he wants what his parents have. He had no idea what or understanding of how his wife was feeling until he discovered her infidelity. What I now need to determine is what caused her to cheat. On the surface, she comes across as being brash and almost unlikeable, but there generally is more to these things than meets the eye. I need to find out what her real story is. I've found that everyone has a story to tell and the need to be heard, the wronged as well as the wrongdoer. We all need to be validated.

She's clearly agitated, by my contemplation and picks up her bag, rummaging aimlessly through it.

"Mrs. Jeffries, would you tell me a little about your childhood?"

"What… what's that got to do with anything? It has nothing to do with the reasons that I'm here. I'm here because my husband wants to have marriage counseling. I don't know how that is going to help things. He says he can forgive me but that he can't forget. Why can't we just move on?"

"I prefer to call it couple's therapy, Mrs. Jeffries. Where we concentrate on both people in the relationship. How they feel as an individual and how they feel as half of a couple that are in a committed relationship. Learning about your childhood and knowing more about you will allow me to better understand you, as a person. So, let's start by you telling me where you grew up and about your parents, school life and friends. Did you have any pets?"

She huffs slightly but starts talking. And after a while, when she realizes that I'm not about to judge her, she opens up a bit more.

I learn that she grew up with a single mother. Her parents separated and were divorced when she was merely a toddler. Her mother always seemed a bit impatient with her. She was caring, but not particularly affectionate or loving. She was very ambitious and worked her way up from being a receptionist in a realtor's office, to owning her own thriving real estate business in Los Angelaes. Since her early childhood, she's always been told how important it was for her to build her own life and not to depend on a man for support. Her mother has had a number of short-term relationships with men younger than herself. She does not particularly believe in 'tying yourself to one person' or 'trusting in another person for your happiness', Mrs. Jeffries quotes.

Although she's only twenty-one, Mrs. Jeffries has had several short-term relationships, none of them very successful. She met Mr. Jeffries and at a mutual friend's graduation party in Chicago, and she found herself immediately smitten by him. He was so handsome, sexy and 'fuckable', as she put it. I silently empathize; I understand the appeal of a 'fuckable' man.

He, of course, was equally bowled over by her. He proposed after their third date, and they were married within two months of meeting. He's just starting a career in law, is doing remarkably well and is highly ambitious. He spends a lot of time at work. Her passion is in the arts, but she's not sure what direction she wants to pursue. All she knows is that she would like to be commercially successful one day. He'd like them to start a family young and would like her to be home at least until he's more settled into his career. He's afraid that if she is also actively pursuing a career, that they would see even less of each other. He feels that as he already has a job and knows what direction he's going in, that it makes sense.

I glance at my watch and see that our time is in fact, up.

"Our time is up, I'm afraid, Mrs. Jeffries. Thank you for sharing those parts of your life with me. I hope that now that you've met me and have a better idea of what to expect, that you will agree to attend the next session with your husband.

I can see that you feel guilty about your infidelity. But also, that you are frustrated at not being understood. I understand that. But, what you need to realize, is that cheating is not a way to solve your problems or to avoid dealing with what's really making you want to behave in such a manner."

She fidgets in her seat, and I see a glimpse of the defiant and petulant behavior that she demonstrated earlier.

"Well, I was forced into it by Bryan's behavior, Doctor Swan. You're just like him, thinking that I'm the only one to blame. If he was home…"

I cut her off before we lose the ground we've gained.

"Mrs. Jeffries, I'm not blaming you; and your husband is not here, so I can't discuss the part he may or may not have played in your infidelity. I'm speaking to you as we have discussed _you _today, not your husband. Every action has a reaction. Your husband's actions may well have played a part in your decision to cheat, but cheating is a choice. Based on some perceived or real action by him, you chose to behave a certain way. Behavior, if not moderated, can easily become habit. And you are in danger of developing a destructive habit. He may have been misguided, but your husband loves you, and I feel that you love him. If you don't open up and discuss your real feelings and admit to mistakes, then you will have no chance of saving your marriage. He may have some work to do, but whatever you feel he is responsible for, cheating is not the answer. It has not only deeply hurt your husband and caused damage to the trust in your relationship; it has damaged you in ways you have not yet realized. I agree that we need to talk about him, and we will, but that will only happen if you attend sessions with him."

She looks straight at me all the while I speak, and simply nods.

"I will schedule a couple's session for you and your husband in two weeks. In the meantime, I'd like you to be honest and open with your husband and tell him how you really feel and what you are afraid of."

She gets up and gathers her belongings, and turns to give me a tentative, unsure smile. "Thank you, Doctor Swan. I'll see you in two weeks, and please call me Amanda."

.

.

.

It's late in the evening and I'm still at work. I have my favorite playlist of soft jazz, lowly playing, and I'm rummaging through the office fridge. I retrieve some veggie sticks and low-fat cottage cheese and return to my desk with plate in hand.

I haven't spoken to Edward since this morning. I reach for my phone to give him a call.

"Can I have some?"

I spin around in surprise. He's smiling at me from the doorway.

"I didn't hear you get off the elevator. How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough. Dance with me?"

"What…here…no!"

"Why not? There's no one here but us." He loosens his tie, slips it from around his neck and drops it to the floor. He undoes his top button as he walks toward me.

"So?" I chuckle sardonically.

"So, we don't have to play by the rules, we're alone." He slinks his hands around my waist, resting them just above my bottom and pulls me to him and moves us slowly.

"I hate dancing," I smile up at him. He stares back at me with lustful eyes.

"But you love doing it with me."

"I love doing a lot of things with you."

"Careful, Doctor," he playfully warns.

"I'm always careful, Doctor."

The song fades and another starts up softly.

"Tell me what happened with Lauren."

I can tell I've soured the mood, but he continues to sway.

"I got her to admit that James was the one driving the car. It's in the hands of the police now." He lets out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry. I know that knowing the truth doesn't make you feel any better."

He shrugs dismissively, and he starts to slowly unbutton my blouse.

"I've been thinking of you all day."

He caresses my breasts through my silk camisole. My underwear moisten almost instantly.

"I've thought about you too." My eyes lock with his as his thumbs repeatedly circle my pert nipples.

"Is that so…what were you thinking about? He murmurs smoothly, and my legs feel like they might give out.

"You first."

He smirks and pulls away. My eyes instinctively travel down his length and linger on the bulge in his pants.

"Do you know that I when I first laid eyes on you, I wanted to take you on every surface of this office?" He motions with his hand around the room for emphasis. He steps back and opens the curtains. I frown at him.

"It's late. Why are you opening the curtains?"

"The view is beautiful at night. Haven't you ever noticed?" He walks back and kneels in front of me. With a sly grin, he slides his hands under my skirt and eases my panties down my legs. He lingeringly touches the lace tops of my stockings as he makes his way down.

"What are you doing?"

"Do you remember what I asked you the first time we had a session in here?" He rises to his feet, bunches my skirt up around my waist and undoes his pants, not bothering to fully shed them.

"Vaguely."

"Liar. You remember it _exactly._" I gasp in surprise as he lifts me up and wraps my legs around his waist. His cloth covered hardness, brushes deliciously against my throbbing, moist heat.

He presses my bare backside against the cool glass and sucks my breasts savagely and grinds his hard cock into me. I'm getting so wet, and I want him inside me so badly, but what he's doing right now, feels so good. It's simultaneously exquisite and torturous. Coherent thought flees, as he pumps and moves with a in a maddening circular motion.

I'm pant uncontrollably. "Edward…please. I need you inside me…now."

"Mmmm…not yet. I want you ravenous for me." He pulls his hips away and begins to tease me with his fingers. My head falls back against the glass, as he rubs circles between my legs

I feel like I'm dangling from a cliff by my fingernails. He inserts his finger, while his thumb keeps up its ministrations.

"Oh…God!"

"I want you wild for me, Bella. I want to be the only man that you'll ever want.

He moves his hand faster, and my body arches into him as I explode in ecstasy. Before I know what I'm saying, the words fall from my lips. "You're the only man I'll ever want," I whisper as he slowly enters me.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 32

"So, what you're telling me, is that Lauren, your wife, the woman we accepted into our family and treated like a daughter, tried to kill you and our grandson by running both of you over with a car?" My mother jumps to her feet in disbelief and rage.

I nod my head in confirmation. My father doesn't say a word; he motionlessly sits and stares at me in astonishment.

"Why would she _do_ that? She exclaims.

"Because she's a crazed, lovesick bitch." Alice adds as she enters the room. "Honestly Mom, you and Dad were the only ones who didn't see Lauren for what she truly is, and Edward has been hiding it from you."

"Thanks a lot, Alice." I spit out sarcastically, but she doesn't seem to care, not that I can blame her.

"Let's cut the shit all right, Edward. Lauren has stalked you since the two of you started college. She's an obsessed, deranged, spoiled brat, who would do anything to get what she wants; and she nearly killed you and my son to get it. It's time you stopped protecting her, or should I say, protecting yourself?"

I glare at her with narrowed eyes, as I suddenly realize that she knows more than I thought she did.

_Bloody Emmett!_

My parents look back and forth between us and wait for me to elaborate. I haven't a clue about how to respond. She's always been tenacious and outspoken. Only this time, she's justified.

"Not now, Alice."

"Then when, Edward? They should know just how vile that wife of yours really is."

"I said, _not now_!" I explode and our parents look horrified. "Jesus! Lauren is going to answer for what she's done, Alice. I promise you that."

"You hope!" She crosses her arms and scowls at me.

"She _will._"

"Just like she's answered for what she did to you all those years ago?"

"What happened? What did she do?" My mother walks over and looks me square in the eye. I avoid her stare-down, step past her and grab Alice; I usher her out of the room and into the kitchen. I hear my parents' confused whispering as we leave. They know that Alice and I have a confrontational relationship, but they also know that we love each other and always manage work things out in the end.

I step close to her. "How much do you know?"

"All of it."

My jaw clenches, and my nostrils flare as I try to desperately control my temper.

"Emmett." I mutter and turn away. I'm going to kill him.

"Em didn't tell me anything, Edward, but I'm upset that _you _didn't."

I spin back around to face her; tears are trickling down her face.

"Em is the only person I told. How did you find out?"

"Jasper." She glares at me defiantly and crosses her arms once more.

"_Jasper?_ I didn't tell him a ... "

"He's a private investigator, Edward! I'm married to him! I'm hormonal and a bit insecure, so I find shit!"

"You mean you look for shit."

"This isn't about me. It's about you. God, Edward! She lied to you about the pregnancy! What kind of monster does that? Why do you continue to protect her?"

I frown, thinking that she's mistaken. There must be some misunderstanding of what she'd found.

"What are you talking about, Alice? Lauren didn't lie to me about being pregnant. She lied about _how_ she got pregnant."

"_What_? Of course, she lied about how, because it wasn't your kid! Jasper recorded a conversation she was having with someone…a man and they were arguing about the pregnancy."

I scrub my face roughly as I try to process what she's saying. It doesn't make sense.

"She drugged me. She made me think that I got her_ pregnant_? She lied…. James! No… No way. She wouldn't…."

"Edward…Edward!"

"What?" She stands in front of me looking worried.

"You said Lauren _drugged_ you?"

I realize that she _didn't_ know everything. I stare at her unblinkingly, knowing that I can't unsay what was said, nor can I pretend that she hadn't heard it.

"Yes," I say, decisively, not bothering to give details.

Her hands fly up to cover her mouth, as she looks at me in what I can only think is horror and pity. Her expression morphs into anger, but I can't wait.

I storm through the back door. She calls for me, and without turning around I yell. "I'll tell you everything once I get back. Not a word to Mom and Dad."

.

.

.

Lauren's still being held, waiting to be questioned. They are apparently waiting for her lawyer to arrive. I've no doubt that it's some hot shot that her parents have hired. I inform an officer that I'm her husband and, he lets me into an interview room and waits outside the door.

She's sitting with her hands lightly clasped on the table. I look down at her; if she feels any remorse, it's not visible in her expression. She looks at me as if _she's_ the one whose been betrayed. I battle to control the overwhelming angry bitterness that rises like bile in my throat. Realizing that I have no intention of starting this conversation, she finally speaks.

"Have you come to tell the police that you've made a mistake?"

"Not on your life."

"Then why are you here, Edward?"

"To think I used to actually feel sorry for you." I shake my head at her.

"I don't need your pity. I haven't done anything wrong."

I pull up a chair and sit across from her.

"You did plenty. It's too late for me, but for Josh ... you will rot. I guarantee it."

"I didn't hit Josh." She rolls her eyes and huffs as if she's tired of repeating the obvious.

"Maybe not physically, but you laid the groundwork. You've been doing that since college, it seems."

"Doing what, Edward?"

"Laying groundwork. You see…." I lean in closer. "I know about Ej. not being my son. Once I found out, it took me all of a minute to finally make sense of it."

Even in this moment of anger I mentally scoff at the irony when I recall her insistence that we give the baby my name, a name that has been passed onto generations of Masen sons. There is no end to this woman's unbridled duplicity.

"You're insane." She scoffs, but I catch the flash of panic in her eyes.

"He wasn't mine, was he, Lauren? He was James's kid, wasn't he?"

"I'm not doing this with you." She averts her head and lets her gaze wander idly around the room.

"Stop lying!" I slam my fist on the table, and the officer comes rushing into the room.

"What's going on here?"

"I want him out of here!" She yells, jumping out of her seat.

"You drugged me and tried to pass that baby off as mine! You and James both set me up!" I lunge across the table at her bringing my face within inches of hers. The officer grabs me, pulling me toward the door. "I swear to God, Lauren, you're going to rot in a fucking cell!"

"Hey, hey, hey! Calm down. That wasn't smart at all." He slams me up against the wall.

"Take your fucking hands off me." I wrench away from him.

"Hey, don't give me a reason to put you in a holding cell." He points a finger in my face.

"What's the status of the investigation involving my wife?" I ignore his threat and straighten my shirt.

"We were going to call you. I have to be honest…there's not much evidence pointing toward your wife, except for your word. We have to let her go."

"What? Are you fucking kidding me? She nearly killed a little boy. That's all the evidence you need!"

"Unless someone comes forward and says that they saw your wife driving the car, she's free. I'm sorry." He turns and walks away.

"What about James? She said he was the one driving. Have you at least located the car?"

"No James. No car. Nothing. She hasn't said anything about a James yet. Right now, this investigation is ongoing. We'll question your wife formally, but we also have to look in other directions. Excuse me." He disappears behind a closed door.

"Which directions?" I yell, but he doesn't answer.

.

.

.

It's Saturday morning and I'm doing housework. I hate housework, evil, yet necessary, mundane occupation.

Dusting!" I snort, balanced precariously on a chair to reach the top shelf of the bookcase. My doorbell rings, bringing blessed relief from the tedium.

"Paul," I gasp in surprise. "What…what are you doing here?"

"Hey, Bella. I was hoping I could speak with you about something important."

"Sure. Come in." I step aside, wondering what he possibly needs to see me about? Then it dawns on me.

"Your cousin sent you, didn't he?"

"Uh…no…I didn't come here to talk about you and Jake. It's not any of my business, Bella. I love my cousin, and I consider you a friend, so I'm not going to take sides. I'm neutral," he laughs.

"Okay…what did you want to talk about?"

"You know my brothers have a business down in Cicero?"

"Yes…an automotive shop. I've gone there with Jake once or twice."

"Yeah, well…the other day I was there and my younger brother, Seth was doing some work for a guy and uh…."

"What guy?" I frown. He rubs the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable.

"Bella…I…things go on at that shop that…I don't want my brothers to get into trouble."

"I'm not going to say anything. What happened?"

"I was visiting there, and this guy comes in. I gather from having listened to him and Seth talk, that they were previously acquainted. I know he used to detail his car regularly. Anyway, he brings his car, I assumed to get fixed, but instead, he pulls Seth aside and tells him to scrap it and hands him a wad of cash."

"Okay, why are you telling me this, Paul?"

"When he handed Seth the cash, this fell out of his pocket." He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a photograph. It's a picture of me at the park.

"Paul, did you see the car this guy brought in?"

"No, but it was obvious that he's well off."

I need to be sure before I speak to anyone about this.

"What does this guy look like; tall, lean, blonde hair and blue eyes?"

"Yeah…Seth called him Jay."

I can't be certain, but this guy could possibly be James.

"I thought you would want to know about this, Bella. It was kind of odd and creepy that this guy had a photo of you, and the fact that he wanted his car chopped tells me he's up to no good."

"Thanks for coming to me, Paul."

"Sure anytime. I almost went to Jake first, but…" He shrugs.

"No…no…I'm glad you came to me. Jake and I aren't…"

"Say no more." He holds up his hands and heads toward the door.

"Thanks again, Paul."

"Take care of yourself, Bella."

I close the door and tap the photo against my chin. I need to figure out a way to have the police investigate that shop for James's car without getting Paul's brothers in trouble; and there's only one person I can rely on to help me with this.

I wait impatiently for him to answer.

"Hey Hon, how are you?"

"Hi Dad. I'm doing well, but I need your help."

.

.

.

I hightail it over to the hospital. I'm still battling against my better judgment in showing up unannounced, but it's imperative that I speak with him at once.

I tried calling him, but he didn't respond. I assume that he must either be with a patient or in surgery. But I decided that it would be better to wait to see him here than drive myself crazy waiting at home for him to get back to me.

I wait impatiently for the passengers to exit the elevator so that I can step inside. The ride feels like it's taking forever. I mutter a quiet 'thank God' as I get out and make my way to the reception desk.

"Hi…uh…I need to see Dr. Masen. Is he in his office?"

The young blonde frowns at me but quickly recovers.

"I'll have to call first and check. May I ask your name?"

"It's Bel…Doctor Swan." I pull myself up and take the more professional approach.

"Give me a moment."

I wait while she clears my visit with him. From her tone and her facial expression, it's evident that he's surprised that I'm here.

"Doctor Masen will see you now, Doctor Swan. His office is on the left at the end of the corridor.

I knock softly. He holds the door open while speaking angrily into his office phone. I close the door behind me and flinch when he yells.

"That's fucking ridiculous! So, they both just walk away scot-free? Well you better make damned sure you do that. I will NOT let them get away with what they did to my nephew, have you got that?" He slams the phone down on his desk repeatedly, until it breaks.

"Fuck!"

"I take it that was about James and Lauren?"

He runs both his hands through his hair and looks up at the ceiling. "You know…I really should've killed them both when I found out about what they did to me. That way, I wouldn't be going through this right now, and my nephew would be out in the park playing, instead of in a fucking hospital!"

"Don't talk like that, Edward."

"I'm serious, Bella. You have no idea what's happened. I can't even begin to wrap my head around it myself." He blows out a frustrated breath.

"Well, I have something to share with you. That's why I'm here, but you first." I gesture for him to start.

"In short, I've learned that I'm not the father of the baby Lauren lost." He walks across the room and stares out of the window.

"What? Are you...wait, who told you such a thing?"

"It's true. I've had all night to mull over this shit, and Alice is right. That baby wasn't mine. I cannot believe that even after she confessed to drugging me, that discovering that she lied about paternity of her child would seem farfetched to me. God, I'm such an _idiot_!"

"Wait a minute. Back up. What does Alice have to do…?"

"I don't want to talk about this right now, Bella, and none of it matters anyway. The baby…he died." He throws his arms up in pained exasperation.

"Edward…"

"Can we please just get to your news? You said you had something to share with me?"

I mentally tuck this conversation away for later.

"I had a visit from Jake's cousin Paul earlier."

He frowns at me and shrugs. "I'm supposed to care about this, why?"

"Don't be an asshole. He came to see me and gave me this." I hold out the photo, and he takes it, his frown deepening as he looks at it briefly.

"Nice picture. You look beautiful," he deadpans and hands it back to me, turning away.

_He can be such an ass sometimes._

"Edward, Paul found this picture in his brother's automotive shop. I think James accidently dropped it."

He spins back around and eyes me skeptically. "Why would James have a photograph of you?"

"Edward, look at this picture again." I thrust it back into his hand. "Doesn't it look familiar?"

"The only familiar thing in it is you, Bella."

"That picture was taken the day we were at the park. The_ same_ day you and Josh were nearly killed."

He looks at the photo again then back at me and doesn't utter a word as he waits for me to continue.

"James had frequented that shop in the past, before he moved to Florida. He's chummy with Paul's younger brother, and he brought his car in to get _worked _onthe other day."

"Go on."

I finally have his attention.

"Paul told me he that he overheard him and his brother, Seth talking. James told him to scrap the vehicle and paid him a lot of money to do so."

"Where's this shop?"

"It's located at Cicero."

He grabs his phone and keys, then calls the front desk to let them know that he'd be leaving for the day and to page him if he's needed.

"Wait, Edward, there's more."

"You can tell me on the way. Let's go."

.

.

.

Our conversation is enlightening, to say the least. Lauren is turning out to be worse than I could ever have imagined. She drugged Edward, took advantage of him sexually, and convinced him that a baby he hadn't fathered was his. And when she lost her child, she watched him grieve for a child he believed to be his, for _eight years_, without a scintilla of remorse. There's no fathomable reason why the woman shouldn't be rotting in a prison.

"Fuck…how much further is this place?" He says in frustration as he glances over at the navigation system then back to the road.

"We're minutes away. Makes sense why James would come this far out of the city."

"When I get my hands on him, trouble will be the least of his problems."

I turn and look at him. His look of grim determination has me worried.

Edward is out the car almost as soon as he's put it into park. I follow hurriedly hoping to calm him before he bursts into the shop in his unhinged state. I don't know Paul's brothers well, but rumor has it that they are tough. Edward's current behavior would make him a prime target to prove their reputation correct.

"Edward, listen," I place a hand on his chest firmly, "I gave Paul my word that his brothers wouldn't be implicated in any way."

"I didn't give him_ my_ word." He steps past me, and I grab onto his arm to stop him.

"Edward, please. I promised him."

"Well, you shouldn't have done that. They may have possibly destroyed evidence, and I will not barter with anyone or anything that ruins the chance of getting justice for Josh."

"That's not what I'm asking of you. Paul assured me that Seth would cooperate with you. He just doesn't want the things that go on in the shop mentioned."

"It's a chop shop, Bella! He accepted money to destroy a car that was used in a hit and run! No, Bella. No deals." He storms his way to the door and enters, leaving me behind.

He's right. I had absolutely no business, making a promise like that to Paul. I just felt so bad because I know he is a good guy, and deep down his brothers are as well. I don't want to see any of them get into trouble because of what that sleaze, James, has done.

I hurry after Edward. He already has the attention of three of Paul's brothers. It doesn't look good, but all eyes swing to me as the door bangs behind me.

"Look who it is. You slumming, Bella?" Quil asks with a laugh.

"Hi guys."

"Where's Seth?" Edward ends the pleasantries peremptorily.

"Who wants to know?"

I recognize the burly guy who steps up. It's Sam, Paul's oldest brother. He's the more levelheaded of the bunch.

"Are _you_ Seth?" Edward asks rather aggressively.

"Seth is my little brother. Is there some problem with the work he did on your car?"

As if summoned, Seth emerges from the back of the garage.

"Hey, Bella. Come to get your car fixed?" He smiles at me brightly.

"Hey Seth. No, I didn't bring my car."

Seth is barely 20, but very experienced in the workshop. He grew up learning from his older brothers. He's sweet, but always seems to find his way into some kind of misfortune, and his brothers are immensely protective of him.

"Get in the back now, Seth." Sam orders.

"Why, what's going on?"

"A guy named James came in here a few days ago about some work on his car. You helped him out with that. Am I right?" Edward jumps right in.

Seth appears shocked and looks around at his brothers.

"I…"

"Shut up, Seth. You don't owe this guy any explanations." Quil states and moves closer to Edward.

"Oh, he owes me more than that. In fact, if I don't get what I've come for, then you can kiss this shop goodbye; possibly your freedom too."

"Is that a threat?" Quil's teeth gnash; his glare ice cold.

"Quil…that's enough." Sam warns and blocks his path.

He glances at me then turns to Edward. "Tell us what it is that you want?"

"It's simple. James paid your little brother a lot of money to destroy evidence. I'm willing to pay double for whatever information you have on him."

"Hey, I didn't do a thing." Seth holds up his hands in supplication. "He asked me to junk a perfectly good Beamer Coupe. It had a few dents and scratches on it, but come on. It's a Beamer! I thought he was insane."

"But you took the money! My nephew is lying in a hospital because of that son of a bitch, and _someone_ is going to answer for that."

"Edward," I plead softly. It's obvious by the way he's stammering that Seth is scared.

"I didn't…."

"Don't say another word, Seth."

The garage door slams loudly.

"I've got this. Any questions you have for my cousin, I suggest you contact a lawyer and have him call me." Jake addresses Edward coolly.

Things are about to go from bad to worse.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 33

I'm in the middle of a faceoff as Edward stands pugnaciously in the midst of five burly men. If it comes to an altercation, it will definitely not be an evenly matched one. But Edward stands his ground unflinchingly; he has no intention of backing down.

"We should go." I pull at Edward, but he doesn't budge.

"I'm not going anywhere until I get what I've come for. Although he looks down at me briefly, his response is obviously directed at Jake.

"Well, you're going to have a long wait, because we've said all we're going to; that is, until the law demands that we say more."

Edward shakes his head and smirks faintly while staring challengingly at Jake. Neither man willing to give quarter as they lock stares. Tension and adrenaline is literally pulsating in the room. I wish we'd never come.

"Look, all I want to know is what James told Seth, and for you to hand over any evidence that he didn't destroy."

"That's what I was trying to tell you. I did…"

Jake quietens Seth with an impatient hand gesture.

"We can't help you. You need to raise any concerns you may have with the police."

"Jake!" Seth yells in surprise and pulls him to the side. "The police can't come here," he unsuccessfully tries to whisper.

They continue to talk quietly, and I take the opportunity to try and speak rationally to Edward.

"Listen, we don't need to stay here. I think we've learned enough to take to the police to get both James and Lauren."

"I'm not leaving, Bella. Your 'ex' just made this personal."

I scowl at him.

"So, that's what this is; a pissing contest between you and Jake? What about Josh? This is supposed to be about getting justice for him."

"It is. Nothing is more important than that."

"Then let's _go_." I raise my eyebrows and hold his gaze.

"Christ, you're so bad for my ego, Bella."

I know he's joking, but he reluctantly concedes and turns to leave. I'm right behind him.

"Bella, can I have a word?"

I turn back to see Jake watching us with a disgusted look. Edward looks at me skeptically, I can see that he doesn't like the idea.

"Give me a moment?" I say reassuringly, and lightly touch his hand.

He doesn't respond, but I know he won't protest. I walk over to the back of the garage, where I can speak privately with Jake.

"What is it?"

"I'm not here by accident."

"It's your cousins' shop. Why _would_ it be an accident?"

"Paul called me after he went to see you about this_ James _situation. I did a little digging and found out about the hit and run. When I realized it was Masen and his nephew involved in the accident, I figured he'd convince you to come here next."

"He didn't convince me. It was the right thing to do."

"To come here and harass my family was the right thing to do?" He's livid but he keeps his voice hushed. "I cannot believe you! One would think that our five years together trumps some ill-advised romp you're having with your patient."

"Are you finished?" I ignore his inference, knowing full well that we could go back and forth on this subject, but what would be the point?

"You get him to back off, Bella. Seth is a kid. He doesn't need this kind of trouble in his life."

"Are you asking me?"

"I'm warning you. You know me, I don't issue idle threats."

I know he won't do anything spiteful, but he would fiercely protect the people that he loves.

"Doesn't it matter to you that a little boy was nearly killed, Jake?"

"Don't even, alright, I'm not some heartless monster. Of course, it matters, but there was a better way to go about this. You could've come to me first. Seth is my cousin. You had to know I would be by his side in a second, to defend him."

"Then you _do_ understand why Edward is here."

He glances over my shoulder at Edward, then pinches the bridge of his nose and huffs out a breath.

"You know what, you're absolutely right. I do get why _he's _here. What I don't get, is you, Bella. I don't even recognize who you are anymore."

"I could easily say the same about you," I fire back harshly.

"Either he backs off, or I show him that he isn't the only one who can throw his weight around. I've done my homework on him. I know all about the accident, and what he believes happened."

"Your point being what, exactly?"

"My point is, it would be nothing for me to put doubt in the minds of the police that this accident could have been carried out by any one of one of his random conquests."

I gape at him.

"Not much surprise there, huh? I know about him, Bella. He's bedded a good percentage of Chicago's female population, many of them married. What's to say that one of their husbands didn't get wind of this and then tried to off him, accidently hitting the kid in the process?"

"If you did your homework as you say, then we both know that's not what happened, Jake."

"Maybe…maybe not." He arrogantly postures as he crosses his arms.

"Why would you _do_ that? Why would you think about ruining the chances of the police–"

"You know where I stand. The choice is yours…or his. I really don't care. You convince him to leave Seth alone, or I'll publicly squash him." He brushes past me angrily and starts talking to Sam and the others.

I storm out, slamming the door behind me and join Edward, who's waiting for me in the car.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes…let's get to the police station."

.

.

.

While Edward is informing the investigating officer of the new evidence, my phone rings.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hey, sweetheart. I've looked into that matter you were concerned about, and you don't need to worry. I spoke to Phil, the precinct captain, we go way back to our college days. He's a good friend of mine. He'll take care of you."

"Oh, that's great! Thanks, Dad."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm good…especially now. You're a lifesaver. Tell Mom I love her, and I'll call her soon."

"I will. Love you, hon."

"Love you too."

I head over to Edward who's waiting for the officer to return.

"Hey. I spoke to my father, he's a friend of the captain, and he assures me that the police are only interested in catching the people involved in the hit and run. They'll turn a blind eye to the auto shop if they turn over the evidence."

"That should make you happy."

"And you." I frown. Josh will have his justice, and we won't have to destroy another young kid's life in the process."

"He's hardly a kid, Bella. He's old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. You're just trying to keep everyone happy. Who gives a fuck about the smoke _Jake_ was blowing."

"I know Jake, and he wasn't blowing smoke. He'll do whatever to protect his family."

"Well, he's got all the help he needs anyway, with you cheerleading for him on the sidelines."

"I'm here for _you_, Edward."

I know that he's upset and guilty about what happened to Josh, not to mention the recent discovery about the depth of Lauren's deceit, but he's being a jackass with his snide remarks and careless attitude.

"Are you ... here for me, or are you here to make sure I don't breathe a word about your ex's cousins' illegal automotive shop?"

"You know something…you're a gigantic ass, Edward Masen!" I poke him in the chest and stalk out.

.

.

.

I adjust the speed on the treadmill and pick up the pace. I'm sweating profusely, my legs hurt, and my lungs burn, but I welcome the burn.

"Bad for his ego." I grumble. "What a dick."

"You're hitting the treadmill kind of hard aren't you, IzzyB?" Rosalie walks over and tosses a hand towel over her shoulder.

"Don't call me that!" I bite, keeping focus and not breaking my pace.

"Whoo! He must really have your thong yanked high."

I glare at her. She thinks she's funny.

"Shut up, Rosalie."

"I'm just saying." She sings with mock sweetness and starts up her treadmill.

"You're always _just saying_. No one asked your opinion, and you have a big mouth," I snap.

"_Moi…w_hat did I do?" She feigns ignorance.

"You told Leah about Edward."

"Uh, correction, I _informed_ her about the_ accident_ when I went over to make sure _your _patients were cancelled, while you were dealing with that. _Thank you, Rosalie_. You're welcome, Bella."

_Smug bitch._

"Thank you, Rosalie." I say icily, but I can't help but smirk. Her impression of me _is _humorous.

.

.

.

"Where's Leah? I thought she was coming to the gym with you today."

We're at my apartment, having a wind-down cocktail as we catch up.

"She was. Mmmm." She sips on her drink, signaling her appreciation with a raised thumb. "She cancelled at the last minute, saying something about her dog being sick. Shame really. That dog humping on her leg is the only action she gets."

"Rose!"

"What! I'm serious. She's gorgeous. I'd kill for her skin alone. I think I'm going to hook her up with Riley. They'd make a cute couple."

"_Riley the Pilates instructor?" _ I scrunch up my face.

"Yes, Riley. Why do you say it like that? He's cute."

"He is. I guess I'm just a little leery about you playing matchmaker." I joke.

"I'm a good matchmaker. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be with good ole Doctor Masen."

I nearly choke on my drink.

"How did you conjure this up in your warped mind?"

"Well, the way I see it; if I hadn't danced with him you would never have become jealous."

"I wasn't jealous." I scoff.

"Sure, you weren't. And if I hadn't called you out on your feelings for him, you would never have had the courage to face them; therefore never giving in to them and ending up where you are with him now."

"You're beyond delusional, and Edward is an ass."

"Today…right now, he's an ass; but I'm sure once he shows up, you'll feel differently. He _is_ something else," she says suggestively as she stares off into space.

"Meaning?" I chuckle, bringing her out of her daze.

"Meaning he can be an ass, but, whew!" She fans herself. "I did get a little taste of what you're working with, and he's hot!"

"You are beyond inappropriate, Rosalie Hale. You're dating his brother," I laugh, as the doorbell rings.

"And I wouldn't trade him for anything. You want me to get that? I see how comfortable you are."

"Please?"

She hops up and trots over to the door.

"Speak of the devil." She turns to me and winks.

Edward is staring at me from the doorway. "Can I come in?"

"I don't know. Can you?" Rosalie asks snidely.

"You and my brother are perfect for each other, you know that?"

"That reminds me. I have a date, Bella. Gotta go."

"Bye. I'll talk to you later. Tell Emmett I said hi."

"Emmett…now there's a man who knows how to treat a woman," she sighs and rolls her eyes at Edward before she steps behind him and mouths, "hot!"

"You're hilarious," Edward replies as he turns to assist by closing the door.

I don't acknowledge him and get up and go into the kitchen to dispose of my drink. I can feel him behind me as I face the sink.

"The police are going to look for James."

"That's wonderful… for Josh."

"You're pissed off."

"And you're a bona fide a genius, Edward."

"This is going to be a lot harder than I thought," he mumbles as he follows me back into the living room.

"It sure is."

"Look, I can be a jerk sometimes, Bella."

"Correct again."

"Will you stop moving, so I can talk to you?" I stop and spin around angrily. I watch him go through each one of his little mannerisms, frustration, nervousness, resolve.

"I'm frustrated, Bella. I just want this to be over with, so we can all move on."

"I get that."

"Good." He steps closer and slinks his arms around my waist, but I pull away.

"But…it doesn't mean that you get to act like a jackass toward me. I'm on your side, Edward, but I'm not a doormat. I don't know who you have me confused with, but…."

He silences me with his lips.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs against my mouth. "I _am a_ jackass. Let me make it up to you." His hands creep down into the back of my yoga pants, and he grips my ass firmly, pressing me flush against his hardness. I break the kiss and shake my head at him.

"No. You are not going to do this. I won't let you use sex as a way to pacify me. I accept your apology, now get out." I grab him by the arm and usher him toward the door.

"Wait…hold on a second. You're joking, right?"

"I'll tell you what, why don't you stand on the other side of that door while you figure it out. Have a goodnight, Edward." I push him out and slam the door in his face, as he starts to protest, then head upstairs to take a much-desired bubble bath.

.

.

.

A couple of days pass, in which I don't see or speak to Edward; it's not for lack of trying on his part. I've been inundated with messages from him, at my office, on my cell phone; he's even resorted to leaving me messages at home. I've advised Leah not to put calls from him through, and each time he's called my cellphone, I've ignored him. And I've done the same thing at home, simply letting the calls go to voicemail and calling back anyone who wasn't him.

Part of me feels like I'm being too hard on him, but I cannot allow him to take his bad temper out on me, especially when I'm trying to help him.

"Bella, I have a delivery for you." Leah announces.

I huff, swinging my chair as I turn my back on her.

"Let me guess. It's from Edward.".

"I didn't read the card, Bella." She giggles.

"Oh…right…well, what color flowers are they…red? Oh, no, he'd probably send white." I scoff.

"Well, it's not flowers, and I'm definitely curious." She comes around to stand in front of me and holds out a white paper bag. I frown and take it, peeking inside.

"Pretzels and Gelato." I chuckle and open the card that's taped to the bag.

"I thought of roses, but then thought this would be so much better. PS. Look in the bag again."

I do as the card instructs and pull out a golf ball.

"A golf ball?" Leah says in confusion.

"It's a Pro V1." I smile.

"Oh…well, I guess this makes sense then." She holds up a golf club adorned with a red ribbon. "There's a card with this too."

I laugh as I take the club and open the card.

"I hope you like it. Lessons start in one hour at the Beverly Country Club." It reads.

"Cocky son of a bitch." I purse my lips then smirk, as I admire the golf club.

"Looks like you're going to play golf." Leah states the obvious.

"Looks like." I dip a pretzel rod into the gelato and take a bite.

.

.

.

I arrive at the Beverly and look across the field to see him strapping on his gloves. I head downhill, and when I reach him, I drop the golf ball at his feet.

"I'm ready for my lesson, Doctor."

.

.

.

We play a few rounds and then have lunch…

"I've missed you."

"Me too."

Then we end up at his place…

"Do you forgive me?" His eyes burn into mine.

In his bed…

"Yes." I'm breathless when he finally thrusts into me. Right now, there isn't much that I wouldn't forgive him for.

.

.

.

"Hello?" he rolls over and answers his cell, while I draw silly patterns on his lower back.

"I'll be right there."

Tossing off the sheet, he shoots out of bed like a rocket and heads into the shower. I hear the water running almost instantly.

I assume that it's either the hospital or news about the investigation.

The shower ends almost as fast as it began, and he reenters the room, roughly drying his hair.

"That was the investigating detective. He wants me to come down to the station right away." He pulls on a pair of jeans. "They say there's been a break in the case."

I hop out of bed and head into the shower.

We're anxiously waiting for someone to come and tell us what's going on.

"What the hell is taking so long?" Edward whispers to me agitatedly.

Finally, Chief Uley comes over to us, and we stand immediately. He smiles at me warmly, before turning to Edward.

"We found James Drummond. A couple of officers are bringing him in."

We hear a commotion as they burst through the door with James, cursing loudly.

"Obviously, it was against his will," Chief Uley deadpans, as he looks over his shoulder. Edward starts over to them, and I block his path.

"Be smart about this. I know you want to tear him apart, but think first."

He clenches his jaw, but I feel his body relax.

"We picked him up at that automotive shop in Cicero, Chief. He says he only went there to see about getting his car fixed." One of the officer reports, as steers a handcuffed James.

"I keep telling you that's what I was there for!"

"Only, we caught him in the back, trying to pay off one of the workers; a kid. We overheard him asking if he got rid of the car. We assume that it was the vehicle in question."

"Where is the car now?"

"It's back at the shop. We waited for forensics to show up, Chief. They'll be sending a follow-up report."

"All right, good work. Take him into room one. I assume he's lawyered up?"

"The minute we put our hands on him."

"Perfect. Take him back."

James smirks at Edward as he passes. I brace for the altercation, but Edward surprises me. He doesn't make a move on him at all.

"You're finished, Drummond."

"We'll see about that."

The officers break up their little reunion by pulling James along and into an interview room. Before they close the door, they make another admission.

"Oh, we brought the kid from the shop in as well. He's here with his lawyer."

I turn to see Jake walk in with Seth. He's dressed in his work attire. I recognize that look; he's all business. I turn back to Chief Uley.

"I thought he wouldn't be implicated?"

"Look, I'll do what I can as a promise to your father, but would you rather I sacrifice this case in order to protect your friend?"

"No…we wouldn't." Edward jumps in and stares me down.

"Listen, depending on what evidence forensics sends us, anything that kid has to tell us will be used accordingly."

As he leaves, Edward puts his hands on my shoulders and looks at me seriously.

"I won't barter. I can't afford to."

"I know." I sigh and bite my lip, looking over at Seth and Jake. He nods at me. It's a gesture that lets me know he wants to talk. I walk over, and Edward follows.

"Against my judgment, Seth has agreed to tell the cops everything they want to know. In exchange, I want no mention of what goes on in the shop."

"You're bargaining in a police station, in front of a bunch of cops?" Edward scoffs.

"Take it or leave it, but I can assure you that if you choose the latter, I will be forced to use other methods."

"The police are going to question your cousin, no matter what. Why would I make a deal with you?"

"You mean your girlfriend didn't tell you why?" he adds sarcastically, and I want to throttle him.

"Jake, don't." I plead, and Edward frowns at me in confusion.

"Don't what? What's he talking about?"

"Bella and I discussed this at the shop the other day. I told her that if she did not get you to back off, then I would drop information about your _extramarital _affairs to the police, which raise questions about suspects, and paint you as the moral bankrupt that you are."

"How's that?" Edward snorts.

"It would give the police a ton of other suspects to look at other than just your wife and that James, moron."

"And you would want to protect them, why?"

"I don't. They can fry for all I care. My concern is for my cousin."

"You're so fucking smart, but there's one thing you haven't thought about in the midst of all of this." Edward shakes his head at Jake disdainfully.

"I assure you I have, but just for entertainment purposes, what is it that you believe I haven't thought about?"

"Evidence. There was an_ actual_ car that tried to hit me, and the car was still on your family's premises, despite knowing the implications of it being there. No matter what, Counselor, you can't just erase the evidence."

I need to stop this because it's not going to end well. I'm sure of it. Neither of them is backing down, and the next word out of either of their mouths may be what sets the other off.

"You're right." Jake laughs and steps closer to Edward and whispers "but you see, I don't care about the evidence. If anything ruins my cousin, I. Ruin. You."

"Okay, stop it. Jake, you're way out of line."

He shrugs at me but takes a step back.

Edward reluctantly walks away, glaring back at Jake. I grab his hand and lead him over to the waiting area, and we have a seat.

"Bella…hey." Seth comes over quickly while Jake is on the phone. "Listen, I know my cousin just wants to protect me, and I know some weird thing is going on between the three of you, but I'm going to tell the police everything about James. I don't want to be an accessory to anything."

"That's a wise choice." Edward states blandly.

"Thanks Seth. We'd really appreciate that."

"How old is your nephew?"

"He's five, why?"

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Yes…he is."

"That's good to know." A relieved smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, and he walks over to the police chief just as an officer calls out that they're ready for him and his lawyer.

"This will be over soon." I lean over and whisper to Edward. He nods and wordlessly laces his fingers through mine.

"One down and one to go." Edward says with satisfaction as I get into his car.

.

.

.

It's been two days since we'd left Seth and Jake at the police station. They've traced the car back to James and matched skid marks from the park to the tires on the car. With the help of Seth's information, James is being held on two counts of attempted murder and a slew of other charges. He's waiting in custody until the pre-trial hearing which will determine whether he will be let out on bail, pending trial and whether, if he is granted bail, he will be able to return home or remain in Chicago until the trial.

I don't know exactly what transpired, but I do know he implicated Lauren, because we've been informed via Chief Uley that they are about to serve her with a warrant.

He looks as if a huge weight has been lifted, as he glances over and smiles at me. His eyes crinkle at the corners and it makes me smile.

"Where to now?"

"To my sister's house to let her know the news."

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all, let's go. She'll be happy to hear it from you."

He places his phone in the docking station and presses the speaker button. He dials and waits for her to answer. The call goes to voicemail and he leaves Alice a message, saying he's on his way over. Finally, we'll be able to give her and Jasper some peace.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 34

It's an eventful day. Lauren has been charged as an accessory to the hit and run, and Josh is being released from hospital.

His discharge papers are being prepared, and Alice and Jasper are on their way. They've planned a surprise welcome home gathering for him, and I feel guilty because I won't be able to attend. I'll to be in surgery for most of the day, but I want to do something to share in his celebration in some way.

I've rarely had occasion to visit the hospital gift shop. I'm amazed when I walk the children's section. It looks like a smaller version of a toy store. I hand the clerk the Spiderman slippers. I'm sure he already owns a pair, but these are special. They talk and make seven different sounds as you move, guaranteed to drive his parents up a wall. I snicker just thinking about Josh refusing to remove them and Alice and Jasper's faces as they are faced with the endless noise. I'm sure my ears will be burning for a very long while.

"There's a suit that goes with these, Doctor Masen," the clerk lets me know and guides me to the area. "It's one of the newer items. We just got them in."

She pulls out an entire Spiderman pajama costume with mask, gloves, everything that makes up the superhero's outfit. She presses a button, and those damned things talk and make sound effects too.

I burst out laughing and have her ring them up as well.

"You know what? While you're at it, I'll take that balloon and this taffy too. What the hell, it's for my nephew."

Alice is going to kill me anyway; I might as well go for broke.

"Good choice, Doctor Masen," she laughs, "I'm sure he'll enjoy everything."

On my way up, I run into a few of my colleagues gathered outside an office.

"Oh, hello, Doctor Masen, we were just discussing you."

"Discussing me, really?" I wait for him to elaborate.

"I can see you're on your way to visit your nephew, so we won't take up too much of your time, but we just heard about the promotion and wanted to congratulate you."

I'm confused, but don't press the point. Now is not the time to get into hospital gossip or speculation. That shit is always rife, and it's too easy to unwittingly contribute to it.

"Thank you." I simply smile and make my way into Josh's room. I'll have to find out what that was all about later.

Josh is engrossed in one of his video games.

"Hey, Buddy." He shushes me instantly. I shake my head and smile indulgently as I wait for a couple of minutes until he's done.

"Shoot! I nevwer can bweat the gween monswter." He slams his game on the bed and pouts.

"I'm sure you'll get better at it. Are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah!" He throws his arms in the air excitedly, just as his parents walk in. He's instantly caught up in hugs and kisses. When he's settled down again, I hand him the gift, letting him know to open it home, and tell Jasper and Alice that I'm going to check on his discharge papers.

Mike Newton is on his way in as I walk out.

"Hey, Mike, I want to thank you for everything you did for Josh."

"You're welcome," he says brusquely.

I think about asking whether he has a problem with me, but decide against it. I'm grateful to him for taking care of Josh and that's where it ends. Anything else, I couldn't give a rat's ass about.

"Have a good day." I brush past him.

"I take it you've heard about the promotion…the Chief of Surgery position?"

"I've been busy, Mike. I haven't heard a lot about much, really."

"Oh, that's right. You've been busy trying to put your wife behind bars for trying to kill you."

"Careful, Mike. I don't want to have to hand you your ass in front of the nurse's station...or your wife," I say calmly, looking over his shoulder at Angela and winking, just to piss him off.

"You know, Masen…normally, I would go back and forth, trading insults with you, but this is not the place or the time. In fact, I'd rather let my...ah…talent speak from the O.R." He smiles arrogantly.

"Let me guess, this is about the Chief of Surgery position?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"Once again, your brilliance astounds me, Edward." He pats me on the back condescendingly and enters Josh's room.

_Fucker!_

I've been out of the loop since this mess with Lauren and James started. I'm aware that the Chief of Surgery position is coming up, but it slipped my mind. There were talks a while back of Mike, a couple of other surgeons and me being considered for the position. In all honesty, I deserve that position as much as anyone else. I've worked my ass off, and there is no way I'm going to step aside for Mike fucking Newton to advance ahead of me.

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I'm thoroughly exhausted by the end of my day. It's nearing six p.m. and I've been at work since four this morning. I'm headed to my parent's house to speak to my father about the vacancy. I'm not sure how much information I'll get from him, he's still a member of the Board of Medical Directors at the hospital and bound by a code of ethics; but he's also my father.

My mother answers the door and quickly kisses me on the cheek. She tells me that my father is in the study, before running off to the kitchen to check on a roast in the oven.

I take the steps two at a time and whistle as I walk down the hall. I tap once and poke my head in.

"You busy?"

"I'm never too busy for my children. Come on in."

"Burning the candle at both ends?" I take a seat on the arm of the chair facing his desk.

"Hardly, I'm hiding from your mother. She's been watching one those cooking shows again, and now she's using me as a guinea pig."

"That's what that whole roast thing is about?"

"What?"

"Uh, nothing, Dad. I want to talk to you about something important."

"Yes, I approve of Bella. She's a smart, beautiful woman. I think you two complement each other well and will make a wonderful couple…once your divorce is final, of course." He looks up from his desk to stress his point.

"Uh…thanks; but as wonderful as that is, I'm not here to discuss Bella. I wanted to ask you about the Chief of Surgery vacancy."

He glances up from his paperwork and smirks.

"You know I can't talk to you about that, Edward."

"Not technically." I hedge.

"Not in any way. I'm on the Board, remember?"

"I know this, Dad. I guess what I'm looking for is a little reassurance, maybe some encouragement that I can do it."

He puts down his pen and leans back in his chair with crossed arms. He fixes me with a serious look.

"You don't need my reassurance, and my encouragement goes without saying; but for the sake of _reassurance, _I'll indulge you; as a father speaking to his son. Edward, in my long career as a surgeon, I've rarely seen better than you. And based on that, there is _no one_ I would recommend more highly for that position than you."

"Thank you, Dad." I feel a burst of warmth at his praise. I've always wanted to emulate my father as a surgeon, and to hear such sincere and high praise from him is like a dream come true.

"That's off the record, of course." He points at me, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course." I wink and smile even broader. "I'll leave you to it Dad, thanks again… for everything. I'm going to visit with Mom a bit, and check on her latest experiment." I tease as I leave the room.

"Tell Bella I said hello." He calls out as I reach the top of the staircase.

"Will do."

I realize I haven't spoken to her all day and decide to call. As I dial, an unknown number lights up my screen.

"Who the hell can this be?" I frown at the screen.

"Hello?"

"Edward."

I huff in annoyance.

"The one phone call you get, and you waste it calling me?"

"Stop watching so much Law and Order, Edward…one phone call," she scoffs.

I walk into one the guest rooms and shut the door.

"What the fuck do you want, Lauren?"

"I need to see you."

"Not going to happen. We have nothing further to discuss. Have a nice life."

"Don't you hang upon me, Edward Masen, I'm still your wife."

"At this point it's just a minor technicality. The divorce should be final any day now."

"I need you to come down here and bail me out of this God forsaken place. I don't belong here."

I laugh out loud at her unashamed audacity.

"It's _exactly_ where you belong, and you're delusional if you think I'm going to lift a finger to help you. Call your parents. I'm sure they'll move heaven and earth to get their precious daughter out of prison."

"I can't call my parents. They'll be mortified!"

"How long do you think you'll be able to keep it from them, Lauren?" I can't believe that I'm having this conversation.

"I'm not calling my parents, and I will not let them bail me out of jail because of your idiocy."

"Goodbye, Lauren."

"You either get down here with your checkbook or things are going to start happening. I know you're not arrogant enough to believe that I didn't make copies of those discs. How would it you look to your respected colleagues when they find out you've fucked half of the female staff, most of them, their wives? I'll go one better. How do you think your new _girlfriend_ would react if she knew everything about you?"

When the hell will she ever give up trying to manipulate me? I try to soothe my irritation by convincing myself that she's desperate and clutching at any straw to keep her parents from knowing of her misdeeds. But truth be known, this is what she's always been like. She's acting true to form.

"I'll let you think on it, but I'll expect you down here no later than first thing tomorrow morning. The choice is yours, Edward."

She hangs up, and I have to refrain from throwing my phone against the wall. I remind myself that I'm in my parents' home.

I silently vow that I won't let her continue to jerk me around like some puppet on a string. It's obvious that she has no intention of changing, so _I _need to be the one to change the way I react. I will not concede to her threats this time, or ever again.

I don't think she's made copies, and even if she has, it doesn't matter. What's done is done. It's in the past. Bella knows everything. I won't lose her.

I run a hand through my hair and call her. "Hey you."

"Where are you? I was hoping you'd be on your way over." Her voice instantly calms me.

"I'm visiting my parent's. I'll be right over when I'm done here. It won't be too late."

"Wonderful. I'll see you soon."

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This is something I should've done a long time ago.

I toss my keys on the table and sprint upstairs to retrieve the safe box.

As I open it, I'm brought face to face with the damning evidence of my sordid past; a part of my life I wish had never taken place. Women whom I've used, many whose lives I've ruined are on these discs. I sigh heavily, as I quickly scan the contents arranged in alphabetical order.

_Amy, Bethany, Carissa…._

I feel ashamed, I wish I could undo those mistakes, but I understand that it's not how life works.

A part of me is scared; because if Bella ever discovers just how badly I've treated women in the past, would she even want to be with me?

My greatest fear once, was how people would react to the knowledge of what happened to me at the hands of Lauren and James. Now, I worry about losing this amazing woman I've come to care so much about. I feel like this dark, ominous cloud will always be hovering over my head; that it's never going to go away. An ever-present reminder of the shit storm that my life once was and a constant reminder of the depths I once sunk to.

I carry the box over to the fireplace.

"I can't erase everything," I turn on the furnace and watch the flames grow, "but I sure as hell can try."

I toss a disc in, then another and another; watching as they melt away, the awful odor synonymous with the acts recorded on them. I can't imagine why I held on to them in the first place. In hindsight, I guess it was just a way to piss Lauren off; to make her see that I wanted out, force her hand so that she would want a divorce; but it didn't work. It backfired dramatically. The consequences of her actions and my responses caused unfathomable harm; my nephew nearly being killed, her being behind bars, and undeserving women misused. I shake my head in disgust.

"It's over, Lauren."

I think about Bella; her beautiful face and her entrancing smile, the way she feels when I make love to her. For years I had relinquished the joy and fulfillment of making love to a woman. I make a solemn promise to never know that feeling of emptiness again.

When there's nothing left but sizzling plastic and an acrid smell, I finally feel some sense of relief, like a heavy load has been lightened. Let Lauren do her worst. She no longer has power over me.

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I race to the kitchen to check on dinner.

I'd planned a special night, a quiet dinner; free of the worry and stress we've been under. There's much to celebrate, Josh leaving the hospital, James and Lauren being brought to justice, and the start our new relationship. And I wanted to look special, so I've dressed up, and styled my hair into super-smooth waves down my back.

_Relationship? With Edward Masen? Wow!_

We've sure come a long way. There is no denying that I want to be with him, in a serious, committed relationship, but how do I let him know?

I suddenly feel ridiculous, standing in my kitchen dressed in a skin-tight, fitted black jersey dress and heels. Where the hell am I going?" I kick off my heels and twist my hair up into a knot. "Tonight, should be comfortable."

I pad over to the stairs and slip my feet into slippers, before heading back into the kitchen to finish dinner.

The food is ready, and I've set the table in front of the sofa. I check my watch and realize I may have a few minutes left to change into a pair of yoga pants, or at least something a little less formal. The entrance bell rings, putting paid to that plan.

"Damn it!" I make my way to the front door to greet him as he arrives. "You're early."

He frowns. "I am? I said I'd be right over and damn! What are you wearing?" He hisses as he slinks his arms around my waist and pulls me hard against him.

"I was just about to change."

"No need. You won't be in it for long, anyway."

"But I've made dinner. Aren't you hungry?

"Parts of me are." He starts sucking on my neck gently.

"I'm serious, Edward." I giggle.

"So am I, and this dress is doing strange things to me. I don't know if I want to peel it slowly from your sexy body or make love to you while you're still in it."

"I'd rather the former. It's expensive and the material is tough to clean," I purr as his hands massage my breasts. I can feel his erection hard and throbbing through the tight, thin fabric. True to his word, I'm not wearing the dress too much longer.

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I straddle his lap as he sits propped up against the couch pillows.

"Do you like it?" I feed him Angela hair pasta with butter sauce.

"It's very tasty." His eyes don't waver from mine as he opens his mouth for another forkful. "I don't think I could eat any other way ever again."

I chuckle and shake my head at him. We're both naked and still somewhat intimately connected, as we share dinner.

"Bella."

"Hmm?" I chew slowly, and he takes the plate out of my hands and leans over to place it on the table. "What is it?"

"I want to be with you."

I scrunch my face.

"You are with me. We're together."

He closes his eyes briefly and shakes his head.

"That's not what I mean; I mean it is, but I meant more than just this. I know that this is still new between us, and we…I have a lot of things to work on, but I just want you to know that this is the end result." He gestures between us. "You are the woman that I want in my life, my future. There's no doubt in my mind that we belong together." He reaches up and caresses my cheek. My eyes flutter closed as I melt into his touch.

"I want that too." I whisper and look into his green eyes, stormy with emotion as he starts to move inside me once again.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 35

"I feel pretty bad for not having taken you on a proper date. I need to make up for that."

"Edward, we've only been dating exclusively for a few weeks. It isn't entirely your fault."

He smiles widely. "We're exclusive?"

I know he's teasing, but I do feel a little awkward now that I've voiced it. I ignore his comment and playfully swat him.

"Where are you taking me on this _date _anyway_?"_

"Well, I'm redecorating my place," he says nonchalantly as we pull into a parking lot. I frown in bewilderment. I wish he'd told me this in the beginning; I would've dressed down.

He comes around to open the door for me and takes hold of my hand as we walk down a little strip of eclectic stores and boutiques. We're in the artistic and trendy area of Wicker Park. I'm not sure why he felt the need to come all this way to get materials for redecorating.

"So, you say you're redecorating?"

"Yes. I feel the need to start things afresh, a new beginning so to speak." He looks down at me and caresses my cheek, and suddenly I couldn't care less where we're going or what we're doing.

"So, what room are we starting in? Should we start by looking for a paint store?"

His brows fuse together.

"No…why; wait, did you actually think I'd be putting you to work on our first official date?" His voice escalates with humor.

"You said you were redecorating!"

"I am, but…never mind. You'll see exactly what I mean in a few moments."

We make our way past more boutiques and restaurants. It's a rather chilly night out, but it hasn't deterred people from being out and enjoying the beautiful crisp evening. It's a wonderful experience being out with Edward in this normal, casual way.

He suddenly stops and opens the door to a tiny boutique with nothing but one large, strategically lit abstract painting in the window. There is no sign or other indication on the window as to what the inside holds. There are no tables or diners visible, so perhaps the dining area is upstairs or out back. He holds the door for me to enter ahead of him. Ironically, I detect a faint whiff of paint.

"Where are we?"

"Come." He grasps my hand and leads me across the polished wooden floor and up a set of stairs. As we reach the landing, I notice several well-dressed people standing around; they're mingling in small groups and viewing the most beautiful works of art. We're at an art gallery, and I finally understand his reference to decorating.

"Edward, Bella! I'm so happy you guys could make it." Alice walks briskly to greet us. She kisses Edward and gives me a quick embrace. "There's hors d oeuvres and champagne. I need to say hello to a few more people. Help yourselves." She smiles brightly before she disappears into a crowd of new arrivals.

"This is your sister's art gallery?"

"Yes, it is. I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable by not mentioning that we'd be coming here. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Surprise…why? I mean, as long as I don't make her feel uncomfortable, I'm fine."

"Alice likes you, my whole family does, Bella. Besides, I thought after putting you through that whole bidding ordeal at the convention in Miami, I'd give you a chance to see what it feels like to have the power, so to speak." He winks at me mischievously.

"What do you mean?"

He smiles and silently leads us over to the refreshments.

"These pieces are so beautiful, "I extol as I absorb the works of numerous extremely talented local artists as we slowly make our way around the gallery. "The paintings are my favorite. Is any of this Alice's work, I indicate to the area we have yet to view?"

"No, she's just a collector. She's been avidly doing so for over ten years. She has a real interest in discovering local talent. This gallery was a college graduation present from my parents. Although, she is a close friend of one of the featured artists whose works are currently being shown here."

"Wow, that's amazing. So, is this evening just a showing, or will we able to purchase anything?" I ask excitedly, having already fallen in love with one particular painting.

"There will be an auction on a number of items, so we will be bidding. Are you ready to show me what you've got?" He raises an eyebrow playfully.

"Absolutely." I say cheekily as he leads me over to greet his parents, Emmett and Rosalie, who've just arrived.

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Alice moves to the center of the room and announces that the auction is about to get underway and asks if everyone has a program detailing the auction pieces. The painting that I have my eye on is up first. Edward gives me a nod of approval.

"Good evening. I'd like to thank you all for coming. I won't talk too much, as I know you're all anxious to bid on your favorite pieces. First up, is a beautiful piece painted by my good friend Peter Franz, he calls it Blowing Kisses. Opening offers, please?"

"One thousand." I raise my paddle."

"Wow, someone loves this painting." She smiles over at me. "The bidding has opened at one thousand dollars."

"Fifteen hundred." A familiar voice counters. Edward and I turn and watch as Rosalie lifts her paddle.

"Oh, this is going to be classic." Edward chuckles, and I raise my paddle in irritation.

"Two thousand." I turn to Alice.

"Three thousand," Rosalie fires back, and I whip my head around to glare at her. She shrugs and mouths "what?"

_I'll kill her for this._

Alice looks at me, waiting; and I raise my paddle again. "Four thousand," I say a bit too loudly and turn around and look at Rosalie challengingly. Emmett is all but doubled over. He grabs hold of her wrist and laughingly helps her to raise her paddle. They haven't named their bid.

Alice waits.

"Five thousand dollars." She calls out confidently and receives applause from the other guests in the room, including Edward's parents.

_She doesn't even like art!_

I look at Edward, and he shrugs. "What are you going to do?"

"I want that painting. I won't let her win."

He gives me a heart-melting smirk. "Take her down."

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The auction was so much fun, a real rush. I come away with the painting, literally. It's unusual to be able to take a piece away immediately. But Alice, having enjoyed the spectacle of my and Rosalie's bidding smack down, waived convention and had Emmett and Edward take it down. She says that she can replace it in the exhibition the following morning. It's cost me ten thousand dollars, making a major dent in my savings account, but it's totally worth it.

"I'm impressed. You got what you came for, I see." Edward nudges me playfully.

"Redecorating my ass. You knew I would love the idea of this, _and _the painting."

"I did, and I plead guilty to paying close attention to the things you like. I saw your eyes light up the minute you laid eyes on this painting."

"They did. I know the perfect place to put her too."

"Congratulations, Bella. That was some very impressive and strategic bidding."

"Thank you, Mrs. Masen."

"Well, Rosalie isn't too happy about losing. In fact, she's on her way over." She laughs.

"Congratulations, Doctor Bella."

"Are you angry with me, Rose?" I mock.

"Not at all. You won fair and square. It's a beautiful painting. Where do you plan on hanging it?"

"I won't reveal that just yet, but I'll put it in a place where everyone can admire her beauty, for sure."

Edward's mother rejoins the rest of his family off to the side, and Rosalie and I enjoy a glass of champagne together.

"So, it's your and Edward's first night out publicly."

"It's that obvious, huh?" I look at her over the rim of my glass.

"Not really. I just happen to know. I think he really cares for you, Bella."

"Are you having a complete about face of your feelings toward Edward, Rosalie?"

"I'm still skeptical, but one thing has made me soften a bit."

"And what's that?"

"I see the way he looks at you, and I also see the way you make him smile. I'm not that familiar with Edward, but I can read men. You've got him roped and hog tied, Doctor Bella," she drawls in a mock southern accent and takes a healthy, yet somehow ladylike swig from her glass.

I chuckle at her humor as I leave to settle with Alice for the painting. I have my checkbook in hand and begin to tear one out.

"It's already been settled." Edward pushes my hand aside gently and smiles. "Are you ready to go?"

"Wait a second, I can't ask you to pay for the painting."

"You didn't. Now, we should go. I have plans for dinner."

I don't protest, because I don't want to cause a scene in front of his family and the remaining guests; but we we'll certainly be discussing this later.

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"Tonight has been wonderful."

"Have I redeemed myself for taking so long to take you out?" We stroll along the path of a local park. It's nearly midnight, yet the place is still lit up like it's early evening.

"Yes, you have, but I'm not letting you pay for the painting."

"It's too late, Bella. It's done. Don't make a big deal of it. I wanted to do something special for you."

"I know, but..."

"Shh. Let's leave it up to chance." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a coin.

"You want to gamble ten thousand dollars on the flip a coin?"

"Would you rather it was rock, paper, scissors?"

I scowl at his flippancy, but decide to indulge him.

"I'm tossing the coin." I take it from his hand, and he holds up his palm, gesturing me to proceed.

"Call it." I say, as I flip the coin in the air.

"Head." He smirks, and I roll my eyes at the suggestive comment. I guess if he'd called tails it would also have a double entendre.

_Lord this man!_

I catch it and flip it over, and by the expression on my face, he knows immediately that he's won.

"This is ridiculous." I pout.

"Don't be a sore loser. Come here." He reaches for my hand, and I place it in his, allowing him to pull me to where he's standing.

"Still have that coin in your hand?"

"Yes, why?"

"Give it to me."

I place it in the center of his palm.

"Do you believe in wishes?"

I suddenly realize where we're standing.

"I did as a kid. Do you?"

He turns to the fountain. "It doesn't hurt to believe. Close your eyes."

He already has his closed. I let my eyes flutter shut slowly, and I feel him lace his fingers through mine.

"Wish for something," he instructs softly. For or a brief moment I feel silly, but I suddenly become emotional. I open my eyes and turn to look at him, his eyes are still closed, and then I shut mine again, and I do; I make a wish.

My eyes are still closed as his lips crush mine with a passionate kiss. We cling to each for an indeterminate time, as our lips remain in heated contact.

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We stumble into his living room, our lips and hands exploring each other, tearing at clothing and gently clawing at skin. He lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around him as he heads upstairs. We only make it up the first couple of steps when he splays me down on them.

His hands pull my wrap-dress apart, and he greedily kisses and suckles my breasts through the delicate lace of my bra. My head falls back against the step as I get caught up in the sensation he's creating in me. He kisses down my body and stops just as he reaches my center. He watches me intently as he reaches under my dress and drags my panties down; slowly. He places my legs up on the steps and spreads them wide. My legs tremble in anticipation as he teases me with his fingers. I gasp as I feel one enter me, and I rotate my hips, rubbing against his hand. His eyes burn into mine as he studies my every expression; smiling in satisfaction at the sounds I make. He whispers that I'm beautiful and that he wants to taste me. No man has ever talked to me this way, or has ever cared enough to make sure that I'm well pleased. Edward does. His eyes tell me he loves every second; that he _knows, _even though I've never articulated it, that he's the only man who's ever made me feel this way.

When I think I have no control over my body; the way I'm panting and moaning, he delves his tongue into my throbbing, soaked heat. I scream out in pleasure and grab fistfuls of his hair. His finger rejoins his tongue, thrusting in and out, while he laps and sucks at my clit. I'm on the verge of a precipice and he expertly keeps me poised there. He manipulates my body so unbelievably well, and I'm not ashamed of how wanton I become before him. I'm falling for him, and I can no longer fight it. I don't want to.

The stairs bite into my flesh as my body starts to tense. He sucks harder and pumps faster, and my body arches as he groans deeply, sending vibrations coursing through me. It's my undoing. I scream his name as my legs clamp around him. He slows his ministrations as he eases me down from my high.

His lips trail to my breasts, and he rests his head there.

"What about you?" I pant in a near whisper, as I run my fingers through his hair. He simply shakes his head in response, and it concerns me. I reach down and tilt his face up to meet my eyes.

"You don't want to make love to me?"

He frowns at my question.

"Of course, I do. I always do; and I will very soon, but that; what I just did was about you. The entire night was for you; a way to show you how special you are to me, to show you how much I want to please you." He turns his face and kisses the tips of my fingers one at a time.

He refastens my dress and holds out his hand. When I'm standing, he lifts me into his arms and carries me to his bed; to finish what he'd started.

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I'm wearing loungewear and sitting cross-legged on Edward's sofa while checking my patient schedule for the next week. I've spent the entire weekend with him. I can honestly say that our relationship has reached new heights. When we started seeing each other, I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about him, but now it's become clear. I just don't know how to, or if I'm ready to speak the words.

The strident ring of the doorbell pulls me from my thoughts. I wait to see if he hears it, but he doesn't. It rings again, and against my better judgment, I get up to answer it. I'm practically floored when I come face to face with the person on the doorstep.

"Is Edward here? It's important that I speak with him."

"Victoria….uh….Edward's," I swallow the lump in my throat. "He's not available at the moment."

"I'll wait." I'm still holding the door open, as she walks past me.

"Victoria, I don't know what you have to share with Edward that's so important, but I would appreciate it if you left."

She turns, looks me up and down and then scoffs.

"Look at you. Hypocrisy doesn't suit you at all, _Doctor Swan_."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I scowl at her insinuation.

"It's amazing that just a month ago you fired me for seeing Edward, and now here you are, taking up residence in his house."

"I fired you because you were having sex with a patient, on my business premises, I might add."

"And now you're having sex with that very same patient."

I slam the door and close the distance between us.

"Not that I owe you any explanation, but Edward is no longer my patient."

"How convenient for you," she spits. "Listen, I'm not here to judge you or even have this conversation. Edward and I are friends, and I need to see him about something important."

"I'm sure Edward will help you with whatever problem you're having, Victoria, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I open the door and stare at it pointedly.

She smirks and saunters over.

"You feel threatened." She stops before stepping across the threshold.

"Excuse me?" My eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"It's really sad, because if you knew anything, you would know not to get attached to a man like Edward. He's a hell of a man, don't get me wrong, but he doesn't go for the whole domestic, clingy type." She gestures to me with her hand.

Edward appears just as I'm about to set her straight.

"Victoria…what are you doing here?" His face scrunches in confusion.

"I needed to see you about something important. Normally, I would never just show up at your place, Edward, but I tried calling you, and your phone kept going to voicemail."

He walks up to us and stands next to me, putting a reassuring arm around my waist.

"Okay, what's so urgent?" He blows out an obvious, frustrated breath.

She glances over at me and back to Edward. It's clear that she's unwilling to speak in front of me.

"Fine." I raise my palms. "I get it."

I walk away angrily and gather my things.

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Bella's silent, but obvious anger shakes me from my stupor. She doesn't even look at me as she walks out of the door. I race after her and spin her around.

"Wait, Bella…please, don't go. I don't know what's happening here. I...I just..."

"Your ex-friend with benefits just showed up, insisting on speaking with you. One can only imagine what she wants to talk about. I'm _not_ sticking around to listen to the details." She pulls away angrily.

"Bella, I think you're overreacting. Come back inside and just give me time to talk to her to find out exactly what's going on."

"It's obvious she doesn't want me privy to whatever she has to say, so I'm not staying here. This is _your _drama, Edward."

I watch helplessly as anger mars her beautiful features. I can't believe this is happening.

"Bella, please, things have been perfect for us. You can't just walk away like this."

"I can't even begin to tell you what's going through my mind; let alone deal with any of this right now. Damn it!" She gnashes her teeth and pushes me in the chest. "What the hell is she doing showing up here at eight-thirty in the morning, Edward?"

I have no answer to give. Victoria has never shown up on my doorstep before. She and I had a certain set of rules that we played by. There must be a really good reason for her visit.

The fact that I have no response pisses Bella off more. I try reaching for her, but she shoves me away.

"I need time to think." She storms to her car, and I'm left standing outside as I watch her disappear down the road.

I don't know how long I stand there, hoping that she might return, before I realize I need to go back inside and deal with Victoria. It's a short distance back to the house, but I swear a hundred thoughts cross my mind in that short span of time.

_She'd better fucking tell me that somebody's being held for ransom or something._

I walk back inside and close the door behind me. She looks at me, waiting for me to start.

"Well?" I runa hand through my hair and scratch the back of my neck in frustration, my anger is slowly building.

"I'm pregnant."

My heart stops.

"W-What?"

"Don't pop a vessel, it's not yours." She waves me off nonchalantly.

"Aside from the fact that I_ know_ that to be accurate, that was one fucked up segue, Victoria. So, whose is it?"

"This guy I'm seeing. His name's Demetri." She walks into my living room, and I follow.

"You say it like he's nothing."

"He's just not the type."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Not all of us are cut out to be parents, Edward."

"Hey..." I place my hands on her shoulders to stop her pacing. "Everything will be all right."

"How?" She sobs. "I mean _me_, pregnant with a _baby_ for Christ sake!"

She does have a valid point. She isn't someone who I can see starting a family; at least not anytime soon.

"When did you find out?"

"I found out yesterday. I've been racking my brain, going crazy ever since."

I can't stop thinking about Bella, but I want to comfort Victoria in her time of need. I'd feel like the worst piece of shit if I kick her out of my house right now.

"What can I do to help?"

"I needed a friend to talk to, and it just so happens you're the only one I have I feel I can trust with this information until I decide what to do. Besides, in times like these, having a friend who's a doctor is help enough."

"I'm not an OB/GYN, Victoria. I'm a heart specialist."

"I know that. I also came here to see if you know of anyone you could refer me to?"

"I know a few. I'll be happy to do that for you. Just let me make a couple of calls, and I'll get back to you later this evening."

She smiles at me and then narrows her eyes.

"Thank you, and I know that's a cue for _'you can leave now so I can chase after my girlfriend'._"

"Just so we're clear, Bella _is_ my girlfriend and I won't have her disrespected."

"I'm sorry. I lost my cool with her before you came downstairs, probably because of some residual bad feelings," she looks at me apologetically as she prepares to leave.

I hold the door open for her.

"I really am sorry about, Bella," she repeats.

"I'll fix things with her, but next time call first."

"I did. You didn't answer."

"Well, then next time, wait for me to call you back."

She rolls her eyes and punches my shoulder playfully.

"Take care of yourself, Victoria."

I wait for her to drive off, before I close the door and exhale deeply. I need to talk to Bella, but I won't call her and allow her the opportunity to hang up on me or to ignore my call. We need to talk in person.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 36

I juggle my files and purse in one arm and my new painting in the other as I fumble the key in the lock. Finally, the dam bursts, and I let out the string of angry profanities that I've been suppressing. A heavy sigh expels from my lips, as at last, I manage to get the damned door open.

On the drive over, I've tried to convince myself that what transpired was a mix-up of sorts, that I have no reason to be this angry. I've tried counting backwards, I've tried breathing deeply, but I can't rid myself of my anger and frustration or my mind from reliving the scene over and over.

I spent the night on cloud nine and the morning in post-coital bliss, for God sakes, only to have it rudely snatched away by having to confront his past, and no other the woman I'd witnessed him being intimate with.

I snatch up the items I'd dropped to the floor and toss them haphazardly onto my desk, then place the painting carefully against the wall.

I'm so mad, I can barely think straight. I cannot believe he just stood there like it was acceptable for her to show up at his home unbidden. And each time I recall what she'd said to me, I seethe with anger, and if I'm honest, hurt and a bit of trepidation. What if what she suggested is true, that he'll tire of me?

And like an evil tormenter, my mind refuses to drop the torturous vision of them together and alone at his house; taunting me with thoughts of what she had to say to him, of what they might be doing.

I let out a loud, exasperated groan.

"I should've stayed. I mean, who leaves her man alone with his beautiful, ex 'fuck-buddy'? Rosalie would blow a fuse and drag me back to his house by my hair, if I told her."

I didn't ever think that I would feel this strongly about him, and I know that to have any type of future with him, I need to not focus on his past; but it's so hard. Strangely enough, it hadn't felt as difficult to trust when we first started seeing each other; but now as my feelings for him deepen, I find myself increasingly worrying about his past. Whether, he can indeed change. That he would want to for me.

Part of me feels that I overacted by storming off. But I keep thinking about the fact that she simply turned up at his home as if she was entitled to be there and him not being more assertive about her leaving. And the things she'd said to me, she was being deliberately rude and pointed in her remarks.

"I should've slapped her. I would've been justified."

As good as it feels to voice that, I know it would have been the wrong thing to do, and it's not something I would ever resort to. I've never, as much as I may have been tempted, resorted to violence, and I have never fallen into the role of the jealous girlfriend. My reaction to this morning's confrontation doesn't make me feel good, and I wish that I could rewind the clock and do things differently.

"This obsessing isn't going to change anything or get anything done," I huff and kick off my shoes. I retrieve some tools from the storage area and return to my office.

I stand on the sofa as I measure, mark a spot and then start hammering the fitting into the wall. I keep thinking about Edward and Victoria. Unwanted visions of their rendezvous in my supply closet, as clear as if it were yesterday, replay over and over.

I pound the nail forcefully. The rhythmic banging reminiscent of the sounds being made when I walked in on them, Victoria's cries, Edward's grunts… I feel as if I'm losing my mind.

I pound even harder, but my mind cannot be turned, what does she want from him, what are they doing now?

I wield the hammer with more force, and the wall crumbles.

"You son of a bitch, Edward Masen!" I cry. I lean my forehead against the wall and try to regulate my breathing. Unbidden tears run down my face as I give into my anger, hurt and frustration. I hate the way I'm feeling, riddled with doubt, second-guessing myself and yes, I feel almost violent jealousy.

I gather myself together and move to get the broom from the closet, and I'm stopped in my tracks.

Edward is standing in the doorway.

.

.

.

I hear Bella's angry, anguished cry as I step off the elevator. I race to her door in a state of panic. She's standing on the sofa with her forehead pressed against the wall and visibly upset.

I swallow hard as I watch her turn her head and see her flushed, tear-streaked face.

My heart speeds up as my stomach simultaneously rises, _I _did that to her, _I've_ made her cry. Bella is one of the strongest women I've met; it's one of the things that most attracted me to her. To know that I've caused her to break kills me.

She steps down off the sofa, and quickly assesses the damage to the wall. She turns and stops instantly when she sees me. She's so beautiful and in this moment looks so fragile. I watch her steel herself, her eyes harden and she tightens her lips as she gathers her anger around her like a mantle. I find myself wishing that she'd put that fucking hammer down.

"What happened?" I ask dumbly.

"What does it look like? I tried to hang a painting." She pushes past me into the lobby.

"Well, at least she's talking to me." I mutter and nervously run a hand through my hair as I wait for her return.

She remerges with a broom and dustpan and starts to vigorously sweep off the couch, not bothering to acknowledge me.

I glance around the room anxiously. I'm speechless, because I hadn't expected to see her so upset, I expected anger, yes, but seeing her breakdown has thrown me totally. I want to kick myself for thinking that a mere apology would suffice, or that I could make some grand gesture as I did after my last indiscretion. She deserves more than that, but I have no clue how to deal with her when she's this emotional. Normally, when I piss her off, she tears into me, but the hurt I'd witnessed and her silence is making me feel uneasy, at a loss.

"Bella, can we talk, please?"

She wordlessly carries on cleaning. I try a different approach.

"Bella, I want to talk to you about, Victoria."

The mention of Victoria's name is like a match to gasoline, she spins around and glares at me lividly.

"I cannot believe you have the audacity to just show up here like nothing has happened and then mention that woman's name! I swear to God, Edward, you don't want to have this conversation with me right now. So, I would go, if I were you."

"Well, you're not me, and I'm not going." I sit on the edge of her desk, folding my arms to enforce my statement.

Her scowl deepens, and I prepare myself for an earful.

She turns her back to me and places a hand to her forehead.

"I'm not joking, Edward." Her voice is low, defeated.

"Neither am I. Would you like to go first, or should I?"

"I don't want to hear about Victoria. I don't care. The fact of the matter is, that you made me look like an idiot!" She whirls around to face me, near shaking with near rage. "After the night we shared, I thought things were different. I thought we'd become something special to each other. I thought I could trust…."

"Wait, what are saying, Bella, that you can't trust me?"

"This! I don't think I can trust this, Edward! A woman you used to have sex with showed up at your door, basically demanding to see you. The same woman who just so happens to be my ex-receptionist. The very _same _woman I had to fire because the two of you chose to have sex in my utility closet. She has no regard for me at all. I mean, does she even know the nature of our relationship, or does she think that I'm just another woman you're bedding for sport? I can't even imagine what was so important that she would have to show up at eight in the morning."

"Victoria showed up to tell me that she's pregnant...she..."

Her face falls.

_Fuck! I'm such an idiot! _I rush to finish my sentence, but she cuts me off.

"Get out!" She hurls the object she's holding at my head. I duck and grab her by the shoulders before she can throw anything else.

"It's not mine, Bella! She's not pregnant by me."

"She shows up at your door to tell you she's pregnant, but it's not yours? Why would she do that, Edward? "She struggles against me.

"Victoria and I are friends, Bella. I know that sounds ridiculous in light of our past, but she just needed a shoulder to cry on."

"And it just _had _to be yours?" She spits.

"Listen to me. I know you're upset, and you have every reason to be, but I just wish you had stayed. I honestly had no idea that she was coming to my house. She's never done that before, and I would never have allowed it in any case, had I known she would try."

"Let go of me, Edward. It's still not a valid excuse. Do you have any idea how it made me feel to see her standing at your door, insisting on seeing you, and the things she said…God…I can't do this…" She tries to pull away, but I hold on.

"Running away is not the answer, Doctor Swan. Talk to me."

"I've said all I'm going to. Now take your hands off me."

"No, and if you're done talking then I have a lot to say."

"I'm not interested."

"Then too fucking bad! You're going to listen."

She's obviously shocked by my outburst, but I needed her to hear me out.

"I'm trying to tell you that I was wrong for not asking her to leave. I just didn't think. I mean, I thought she would say whatever she needed to and that would be it. I had no clue that she'd confronted you or what she said to you before I joined you downstairs. Bella…." I sigh heavily and touch her cheek. "There's nothing or no one that could make me jeopardize what I have with you."

"Are you so sure about that? Who's going to show up next, Edward…Lauren's matron of honor; some other conquest?"

"All this because Victoria showed up at my house without my prior knowledge or permission?"

"No! It's…it's because…." She grips her hair, and I see her bottom lip quiver before she turns away from me. "It's because of the way that I feel about you. I'm reacting in a way that is foreign to me. I've always been able to control such emotions and somehow, after being with you, I'm no longer in control of my feelings. I didn't ever think that I could be this person, the one who feels threatened by an ex-girlfriend or lover. Victoria proved _that _theory wrong today."

I'm pleasantly surprised by her admission, but it also makes me realize how vulnerable she's making herself by being with me. I wrap my arms around her, and she drops her head back against my shoulder in defeat. She lets out a long, slow breath.

"I feel stupid."

"Why, because you're afraid?"

"Afraid." She scoffs, and I hear a tiny sniffle. "What am I afraid of, Edward?"

"Love."

Her body turns rigid, and I hold her tighter, planting kisses on the side of her neck. "You're afraid to love me, Bella.",

She turns in my arms and stares at me for long moment.

"You're wrong," she finally whispers.

"Am I?"

She nods slowly and leans her forehead against the bridge of my nose.

"What did you wish for at the fountain last night, Bella?"

"I'm not telling you."

Whether she tells me or not, I know what the answer is. She moves her head to rest comfortably on my chest as we stand in the middle of her office, locked in an embrace.

_I'm afraid too, sweetheart; you don't know how much._

"You don't have to tell me. I know that your wish is the same as mine."

.

.

.

I've patched up the hole in Bella's wall and while we wait for it to dry, I order dinner. She's quieter than usual. I know that she still feels unsettled and is wary about having admitted her vulnerabilities earlier.

"So, what is she going to do…about the baby?" She asks hesitantly.

"Oh, I assume she's going through with having the baby. That was the other reason she came by to see me. She wanted the name of a good OB/GYN." I shrug.

"Thanks," she says and pushes her plate away.

"For what?"

"For confirming that my behavior was that of someone who is insecure. You were just helping someone in need, and I couldn't handle it because you have a past with her."

"Stop it. You're not insecure, and it was not just an innocent past. I've done plenty to justify your concern about us. But you don't have to worry about that, Bella, because my past is just that. You and I are now; present _and _future." I hold her eyes so she can know just how serious I am. She smiles faintly and averts her eyes.

"Do you think that I'm clingy?"

"You?" My eyebrows shoot up in amused surprise because she's anything but.

"She says that I shouldn't get attached to you, that a man like you doesn't like clinginess."

"We can test that. Come, cling to me." I waggle my eyebrows suggestively.

"I'm serious."

"So am I." I hold out my arms to her, and she shakes her head at me but smiles wanly. She crawls between my legs and into my arms.

"Feel good?"

She nods. "Very."

I reach over and pull the rod to close the curtains, and we lie snuggled quietly on the sofa. I comb my fingers through her silky hair, and she almost purrs like a kitten.

I hate to spoil the mood we're in, but she's a part of my life, and I don't want to keep her in the dark about anything.

"Lauren's arraignment is tomorrow morning. I'm going to be there."

"That's understandable. Do you want me to go?"

"No…I don't think it would be a good idea. She'll get riled by your presence."

"I'm not afraid of her, Edward. Besides, there are police in the courtroom. How much damage can she really do?"

"She can do plenty with her mouth. Look, I know you want to support me, but it would be better if I handled this alone, okay?"

"Alright." She sounds somewhat dejected, and that's not the outcome that I want.

Bella's presence in court with me will have Lauren take one look at us and spew vitriol. I don't want Bella to have to go through that in public. In fact, it would look bad on my part if I showed up with Bella; my divorce has not yet been finalized and the courtroom is not a social setting.

"Hey?" I tilt her chin so I can look at her. "I'm sorry about everything that happened earlier. Can you forgive me for hurting you?"

She answers by placing a soft kiss on my lips. As she pulls away, I gently thread my fingers through her hair and mold my lips to hers. When she finally manages to break the kiss, she's breathless and her pupils are dilated. She straddles me as she lifts her shirt over her head. I sit back and marvel at the beautiful creature before me. Her hands reach behind her and unhook her bra, slipping it from her shoulders. My hands explore her creamy skin, her abdomen, shoulders and breasts. I harden immediately as I enjoy the sensation. She moves sensuously, grinding her hips against mine, and I thrust my pelvis to meet her movements. The rubbing of the denim is slightly painful, but it's a pleasurable discomfort that I'm reluctant to end.

Just when I feel I can take no more, she slides back and opens my jeans, and with my help pulls them down to release my erection. She caresses my throbbing cock over and over, making me unbelievably harder. She pumps her hands and moisture oozes from the tip. She spreads the clear liquid around the head, and I groan when I notice her tongue sweep across her bottom lip. She engulfs me in her warm mouth and licks and sucks at a maddeningly slow pace that is simultaneously excruciating and euphoric. I'm mesmerized as I watch, and I gently brush her hair back away from her face, not wanting to miss even the smallest movement of her mouth, her face her eyes, that look up at me during her ministrations. It feels so fucking amazing, I feel like crying.

"God, Bella," I whisper and caress her face. She hums her approval, and the vibration hums around my cock, shooting through my entire body like electricity. She uses her tongue and her mouth sublimely. I've never felt anything like this. I'm so close; I reach behind me and grip the arm of the couch. "You're going to make me come."

She looks up at me; the emotion in her eyes makes my heart stutter. I'm so far gone, that at this point, I don't think that I can be a gentleman. My head lolls back reflexively, and I can no longer hold back. My eyes squeeze shut tightly red and white lights seem to explode behind my lids. I tremble uncontrollably through my climax as a long, deep growl emanates from my chest.

.

.

.

At nine o'clock on Monday morning, Jasper, Alice and I arrive at the courthouse downtown. Lauren's arraignment is due to start in half an hour. I step aside while the District Attorney speaks with Jasper and Alice. From across the hall, I notice Lauren's parents glaring at me. I turn away; this is not the time for confrontation.

The DA approaches me and advised me on what to expect.

"It's normal procedure at an arraignment hearing for the defendant to plead not guilty. In fact, the State advises them to do so. Her lawyer will push for her to be let out on bail. He will argue that she was not the driver of the car, nor was she in the car at the time when your nephew was hit. He will state that she does not present a danger to the community, and that she does not present a flight risk. He'll request that reasonable bond to be set. In all honesty, there is no real chance of keeping her locked up until the trial hearings. We will, however, argue that due to her financial standing, bond should be set high enough to be a real deterrent against flight. I have to be honest and tell you that she will, in all probability, be out on bail as soon as her parents pay the bond."

"Thank you. I appreciate your straight forwardness." I shake his hand and join Alice and Jasper as we take a seat and wait for the judge to arrive.

Lauren is led into court by an officer, and she takes her place next to her lawyer. She meets my eye just before sitting down. I don't acknowledge her in any way.

"Please remain seated and come to order. This court is now in session. The Honorable Judge William Thorndike is presiding. Case number 014, the people versus Lauren Allison Masen."

The judge asks whether Lauren is present in court. Both Lauren and her lawyer stand and face the judge. She's asked to state her full name, which she does. And the judge proceeds to read the charges against her.

"You are charged with being an accessory after the fact in a felony hit and run under RCW 46.52.020, in which Joshua Luke Whitlock was seriously injured. An accessory after the fact is any individual who knowingly shelters and aids a criminal or aids them in concealing the crime after it has been committed. Even though an accessory did not actively participate in carrying out the crime, an accessory can still be held as liable for the criminal act as the perpetrator. In the state of Illinois, if found guilty of such a crime, you may be sentenced to a maximum of two years imprisonment, the loss of your driver's license for a determined period and a substantial fine. Do you understand the charges made against you?"

Lauren responds by acknowledging her understanding of the charges. She is asked how she pleads, and as expected, she enters a plea of not guilty. She turns to look at me, and again, I don't acknowledge her in anyway.

As we'd been advised to expect, her lawyer asks for bail to be set and outlines the reasons for her freedom until trial hearings to be granted. The judge then turns to the district attorney and asks him if he has any objection.

"Your honor, we have no objection to Mrs. Masen being let out on bail, but we do want to place on record our request for an effectively high bond to be set. Both Mrs. Masen and her parents have substantial wealth, and unless bail is set at a level which poses a real deterrent, it is our opinion that Mrs. Masen could indeed pose a flight risk."

The judge ponders for a moment, looks at Lauren closely, and then he delivers his judgment.

"Bail will be set at one million dollars. In this time Mrs. Masen, there will be a mandatory protection order implemented. Any violation of the protection order will result in new criminal charges and or a charge of contempt of court. It is the order of the court that you do not harass, molest, intimidate, retaliate against or tamper with any witness to, or victim of the acts you are charged with committing. You shall refrain from contacting or communicating with any of the victims, directly or indirectly. And it's the further order of the court that you not to commit any new offenses. Failing to do so will result in bail rejection and your immediate return into police custody until the trial hearing. Do you understand the terms of your bail, Mrs. Masen?"

"Yes, your Honor."

"Bail can be paid at the conclusion of court. A trial date is set for six weeks from today, October 18, 2012. Will there be anything further from Counsels?"

"No, your Honor." Both Counsels respond almost simultaneously.

"Court is adjourned."

I hug Alice as we exit the courtroom, promising her that everything will be okay. Lauren will be held accountable; it's just a matter of time. I watch her leave with Jasper; I intend to follow directly after I've made a quick call to Bella. I promised her I would call as soon as I know anything. Lauren's parents accost me before I can dial.

"I hope you're happy. You've finally managed to ruin my daughter's life!" Her mother cries.

"Mrs. Mallory, Lauren is a grown woman and makes her own decisions. She..."

"Don't you dare address my wife or malign our daughter, you pompous ass. It's your fault she's in this mess," her father cuts me off and consoles his sobbing wife.

"I'm not going to argue with you about this. The court will decide Lauren's penalty for what she did to me and my nephew."

"Our daughter was not the one driving the car!" Her mother all but shouts.

"It doesn't make her any less guilty! She was an accomplice. She might as well have gotten behind that wheel and smashed into me and Josh herself," I snap.

"You're cruel! Lauren would never do such a thing!" She gasps in shock. "She loves Josh. No, her mistake was falling in love with you. _Now _look at her."

"You're one hundred percent correct, Mrs. Mallory. Lauren's mistake _was _in loving me. It was also her mistake to force herself on me in the name of love."

"What the hell are you talking about, forced herself on you?" Her father advances on me.

"Ask your daughter what I'm talking about, Mr. Mallory."

"I'm asking you, Edward. What are you accusing my daughter of?"

"Daddy, don't," Lauren shakes her head at him in warning as she's being led out of the courtroom.

"Sweetheart, what's he talking about?"

"I'll let the three of you discuss things."

I walk away without a backward glance.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 37

I stretch languidly and yawn before leaning over to plant a gentle kiss on Bella's temple. She's still sleeping soundly, and I don't want to wake her.

I reach over to the nightstand to check my phone for missed calls, and I smile at the picture text from Josh. He's smiling brightly, sporting a toothless grin and holding up a picture of his latest work of art that reads 'Happy Birthday Uncle Edward'. Under the picture there's a message that says he's lost his two front teeth and that the tooth fairy left him five dollars. I muffle my laugh.

I flip through the rest of my messages; there are about a dozen from my extended family, all of them extoling good wishes and telling me to enjoy the day. There's one text in particular that catches my eye, and it brings a smile to my face.

_Enjoy your day, wishing you plenty more. EC._

I make sure I save the message and store the contact number for later.

I'm not one to make a big fuss about my birthday. In fact, I barely speak of it. My family, on the other hand, makes a huge fuss each year. To me, it's just a regular day. I told them a while back; no big parties or dinners, just a simple get together with close family is all I'd enjoy. But, knowing the women in my family my request will not be heeded; all I can do is hope that they show some restraint.

It's about eight a.m. and I need to get ready for work. I reluctantly leave Bella's side and head for the shower.

This morning, I meet with the St. Luc's Board of Directors for my first interview for the Chief of Surgery position. Although I do believe that I have as good a chance as any of receiving the promotion, I haven't talked about it with anyone, except briefly with my father.

Other than Mike Newton and myself, there are two other surgeons being considered. But truthfully, I know that Mike and I are the forerunners in a close race. For me, this knowledge fans the flames of our already competitive relationship. I feel certain that he feels the same way.

I have one more patient to see before I head up to my meeting. She's sitting up and reading the newspaper, and I smile at the sight.

"Good morning, Mrs. Cope. You look wonderful."

"Always the charmer, Doctor Masen. Come in." She pats the side of her bed.

"So, do you feel as wonderful as you look?"

"I do actually. I feel well enough to be discharged this morning."

I laugh, shaking my head at her; we both know that won't be happening. She's doing better, but I'm not satisfied that she's completely out of the woods yet.

"A girl can try."

"How about this, I'll clear my schedule and have lunch with you. I'll bring you up to date on all the gossip that's going around the hospital." I wink, and I'm rewarded with her smile.

"Is it any good?" She gasps mockingly.

"Well, there's a big promotion for Chief of Surgery coming up, and I'm up for the position."

She waits patiently for me to give her something worthwhile.

"Doctor Newton is a candidate as well."

"The good-looking, blond doctor?"

"That's him."

"And I take it the two of you don't see eye to eye?"

I smile, but don't elaborate.

"If you can get us cheeseburgers and shakes, then it's a date."

"How about veggie burgers and diet cokes?"

"Always the doctor." She shakes her head, but smiles broadly in acquiescence.

.

.

.

I have about fifty-five minutes before my interview, and I decide to take the time to retire to my office and prepare.

The Board of is comprised of five people; my father being one of them. The other four are retired university chancellor and eminent state citizen, Doctor Lionel Doyle, Doctor William Sutton, a consulting general surgeon, Doctor Robert Jansen, a general practitioner and Ms. Geraldine Brody, an ex CEO of a highly reputable corporation. She also serves on several company boards. Doctor Doyle is the Chairman. I can see how their combined skill and broad experience would lend itself to the efficient running of a highly respected and reputable institution such as St. Lucien Hospital.

I'm acquainted with both Bill Sutton and Robert Jansen as we have, on occasion, met up at medical conventions. I've not met either of the other two. I have, however, made some enquiries and discovered that both are highly thought of and have excellent track records in their respective fields. Ms. Brody, apparently, has a reputation for being a bit of a "ball breaker" in the corporate world. I spend some time familiarizing myself with their backgrounds and consider what approach each of them, including my dad, might take during the interview. I think about what questions they might ask and formulate concise answers so that I can be as prepared as possible.

It's about thirty minutes before my meeting, and I retire briefly to the restroom in my office to freshen up and change into a suit and tie. I give myself a last look-over. It's been a long time since I've felt this nervous. I check my watch, exhale and take another deep breath, then make my way to the boardroom.

I announce myself to the receptionist who smiles attractively and asks me to take a seat and wait. A short while later, a distinguished grey-haired man approaches me with his hand outstretched.

"Doctor Masen? I'm Lionel Doyle; I'm very pleased to meet you. Please come this way."

He leads me into the boardroom where five chairs are arranged along one side of a rather intimidatingly large table. A lone chair, which I assume is meant for me, has been placed directly across from these. Introductions are made, and everyone greets me courteously. Ms. Brody seems more reserved, but I assume this to be her normal disposition. My dad subtly squeezes my hand as he shakes, then gives me a brief, reassuring pat on the shoulder. I can see the pride in his eyes and relax a bit as I remember our conversation in his office.

Doctor Jansen solicitously asks if I would like some refreshment, and I request a glass of water, which he pours from a carafe conveniently placed on the table.

I settle into my chair and briefly amuse myself by considering whether this is what the Spanish Inquisition was like. I try to look as relaxed as possible and turn to Doctor Doyle, questioningly.

"Doctor Masen, thank you for your time. I assume you've read all the literature on the position that you were sent?"

"Yes, thank you, Doctor Doyle. May I say how honored I am to be considered for the role, and also how excited I am at the opportunity it offers to enhance not only my experience but to play a pivotal role in further cementing St. Luc's reputation in the surgical field."

I make brief eye contact with everyone to ensure that they understand that I'm including them in my gratitude. My dad gives me a small, encouraging smile; the other men all have open expressions. Ms. Brody, however, has a slight frown and is staring at me rather piercingly.

"We've all read your resume Doctor Masen, and we're aware of your surgical reputation, but it would be nice to hear about it from your perspective. Would you please tell us a bit about yourself and how you view this role?" Doctor Jansen asks.

I give them a brief rundown on my experience. In response to a follow-up question from Doctor Sutton, I outline one of my most challenging surgeries; what the initial diagnosis was, the pre-op plan and the decisions I had to make during surgery. I detail the involvement of other members of the team during what proved to be a challenging case. I end by stressing how a surgeon is highly dependent upon the entire team to ensure the best outcome for the patient. How, despite the fact that a surgeon's skill is paramount and could mean the difference between life and death, it means nothing without the reciprocal skills, dedication and teamwork of the other professionals in the OR.

Each, in turn, asks me a specific question relating to the role. These include how I view the current skill levels of the surgical unit, how I see it being improved and what role I see myself playing in any improvement. How I'd manage my own scheduled surgeries, whilst managing the day-to-day operations and long-term developmental goals of the unit. How I currently interact with members of staff within and outside the unit, and how I see this changing.

I remain relaxed and focus on responding to each question honestly. Ms. Brody's stance relaxes on occasion, but the slight frown remains. I have no idea what she's thinking.

Finally, Doctor Doyle wraps up the interview. "Thank you, Doctor Masen. You've given us a lot to think about. It's clear just how passionate you are about your work and how much you value your team, and St. Luc's in general. It's no wonder you've built the enviable reputation you have."

He turns to the rest of the panel and asks if they have any further questions. They decline with a slight shake of the head and a smile. Ms. Brody, however, turns back to me, eyebrow slightly raised.

"One last question, Doctor Masen, please. I've heard that you have quite a reputation amongst the nursing staff in this hospital and women in general. What do you have to say about that?"

_Well shit, and there you have it!_

I take a quick look around the table. Everyone looks a bit taken aback. My father, in particular is looking at me searchingly. I have no doubt that I'll have to answer some questions from him later, but right now, I have Ms. Brody to deal with.

I take a deep breath and look her straight in the eye. "Ms. Brody, I assure you that my professional behavior and my commitment to patient care can never be questioned. What you are touching on is my personal life. And with all due respect, I would suggest that none of us in this room would be comfortable discussing aspects of our personal life in a forum such as this. I can however, assure all of you that my commitment to this hospital is unquestionable and unwavering. If I'm given the opportunity to fill this role, I would do nothing, I repeat, _nothing _to jeopardize either my professionalism and reputation or those of the hospital."

Her eyes widen slightly, and she nods her head imperceptibly.

"Thank you, Doctor Masen, for your honesty." She looks to Doctor Doyle, subtly letting him know that she's done. He rises from his chair and waits for me. I stand, and they quickly follow. He extends his hand, "Thank you, Edward, we'll be in touch."

I press the button for the elevator, and when I finally enter, I let out the breath I think I've been holding since Ms. Brody asked her question. I wonder whom she's been talking to. I guess, I should have been prepared for at least one them learning about my past. I have to admit; I was taken by surprise. This is something I will have to get used to. I've already told the police the things I most dread, and some of that is sure to come out during the trial. I can't keep hiding from my past. I need to face up to it, and as disappointed as I'd be at being overlooked for this promotion because of my past behavior; it's a consequence I have to be prepared to pay. I know that I'll never go back to being that person, I'm finally free from the toxic relationship with Lauren, and my future with Bella looks bright. She knows everything about me, and I suddenly realize that I owe my family the same honesty. They deserve to know everything before they find out from some stranger, or are ambushed like my dad had just been.

I spend a very pleasant lunchtime in Mrs. Cope's company. She's a really sweet lady, and being in her presence always lightens my spirit.

I've finished my patient rounds and can finally go home. I think about calling Bella to make arrangements for later and smile at the thought of sharing the events of my day with her. I'm even happier, thinking just how wonderful it is to actually have a partner to share things with. Someone whom I care about and respect, and who, in turn, understands how I feel about my job, someone who is not resentful or threatened by it.

My dad interrupts my pleasant thoughts when he puts his head around the corner. "Hi son, got a minute?"

"Sure." I gesture for him to enter and he takes a seat in front of me. "I know you must have a lot of questions."

"I don't have many, but the ones I do have…." He shakes his head as his voice trails off.

"Dad, I've never wanted to disappoint you, and I'm not going to make excuses for my past behavior. The only thing I can really offer; is that the situation between Lauren and me was extremely complicated, and we both did unspeakable things to hurt each other. I'm not proud of the decisions I made, but I can honestly tell you that I'm no longer that man."

"Well, up until today, I've never had any reason to doubt the kind of man you are, the kind of man I take pride in saying I've raised. I don't really have a reason to doubt that, although it was a surprise to hear something so suggestive about your own child, and in a board meeting. Geraldine Brody…she's such a… prissy..." He scoffs as he leaves the sentence hanging in the air.

I smile at my father's attempt at showing his distaste for a person. I wish I could be as controlled in my responses.

"As a member of the Board, she was justified in asking the question, Dad."

"And your response was remarkable. The board members seemed to be very impressed with you. I _am_ proud of you, Edward."

"Thank you, Dad. You don't know what it means to hear you say that, and I do want to talk with you more about a few things regarding me and Lauren, but I feel I should do that with the entire family present."

"All right, Son, I know things have been difficult for you and Lauren. When you're ready, your mother and I will be there to listen and support you."

"Well, I was thinking tonight. Let Mom know that I have something important to discuss with the family, and I'll call Emmett and Alice to meet us at your house."

"I'll let your mother know, but just so you know, I was supposed to get you over to the house tonight anyway. The women are planning a birthday dinner for you, so no need for you to call anyone." He looks at me and shrugs.

"Can't say I'm surprised, Dad." We both stand, and I walk him to the door.

"You'll act surprised, though?"

"Not on your life, "I laugh. "Come on, I'll walk you to your car, and I'll promise not to tell Mom you almost called Geraldine Brody a bitch."

"I did no such thing!" He protests humorously.

"You wanted to curse. Don't deny it."

.

.

.

As forewarned by my father, my family is gathered in the dining room as I enter. As soon as they see me, they excitedly yell, "Surprise". The room is adorned with black and silver balloons and a banner wishing me a happy birthday above the dining room table. At the center, a beautifully decorated black and white tiered cakes takes pride of place.

True to my word, I don't act overly surprised, after all, they try to catch me unawares every year. I am, however, surprised by the presence of one person.

_Bella. _

She's right in the midst of my family, and she looks breathtakingly beautiful. I enter the room to greet everyone.

"Dad told me about the surprise dinner, but I have to say that I'm truly speechless at this sight."

"Happy Birthday, Bro. I invited Rosalie. I hope that's okay with you," Emmett slips over and whispers to me.

"Of course, it is. She's family, and what can I say, she's a breath of fresh air; keeps me on my toes." I say and pat him on the back.

I know my brother cares for Rosalie deeply, and she's Bella's best friend. I consider her family, even if we do butt heads.

"Uncwle Edward, wook at aw youwr pwesents!" Josh cheers.

"I see them, and I see that you have no teeth," I tease, and he quickly clamps his hand over his mouth and runs into the kitchen. Everyone laughs at his cute embarrassment and gathers around to hug me.

"Happy Birthday, my beautiful son." My mother and I share a long embrace as I whisper, "thank you" in her ear.

"Your father says you have something to share with us?"  
"I do, but later. You all went to a lot of trouble to plan this amazing get together for me. What I have to say can wait until after dinner…and cake." I smile at her then wink at Bella who's standing next to us. I know she loves cake.

"Doesn't she look beautiful, Edward? I said you would be thrilled if she were here."

"I am, and she does look beautiful, Mom. Thank you."

She watches on happily as we gaze at each other.

"Well, I'll leave you two to talk, and I'll go and check on the main course."

"Is it my favorite?"

I smile down at Bella, and she returns it rather shyly. She twists the charm on her delicate gold necklace, and my eyes move to her lips as they touch the champagne glass.

"It is," Mom replies.

"Perfect." I respond hoarsely, turning my attention back to my mother.

As soon as she leaves, I practically lunge at Bella. I step close intending to pull her into my arms and kiss her senseless, but she stops me with a hand to my chest.

"I'm the birthday boy. I'm entitled to whatever I want today." I warningly raise an eyebrow.

"That would be a valid argument, but you forget one thing."

"And what's that?"

"You didn't tell _me_ it was your birthday, Doctor Masen." She turns and walks away, smiling coyly over her shoulder. I have to fight the instinct to reach out and gently brush the curve of her ass in that sexy dress she's wearing.

"Restraint," I mutter, before I join everyone at the party. "Hey, is anyone going to get the birthday boy some champagne?"

.

.

.

It's a happy and noisy gathering around the dining room table as we're all enjoying my favorite meal. At times, I simply look around at all the people I love and bask in the warmth of their company. I feel even more joyous that I'm able to reach down and touch Bella's leg or hand. Her presence seems to complete our family gathering. I can't remember when last I felt this happy and content.

After dinner, we all gather in the living room so that I can open my presents.

"This one is from your aunt and uncle. They're out of town, but they send their love."

"And a huge damned present. How come I never get anything like this?" Emmett jokes with mock animosity.

I unwrap the large box, and a smile spreads across my face. "Thank you, Ezzy and Carlisle," I whistle wolfishly at the exquisite set of golf clubs.

"Whoa, they're gorgeous." My father comes over to examine one of the clubs.

"I wanna pway golf too, Gwanpa, lemme see!" Josh runs over and tries to grab the club, but my father holds it out of his reach.

"Easy there, buddy, these are special golf clubs. Uncle Edward won't be using these to actually play."

He frowns up at my father in confusion."

"What's he gonna do wiff thwem?"

"Put them in his house and stare at them," Emmett says sarcastically.

"And polish them meticulously, hoping no one breathes on them," Jasper adds his two cents worth, and I glare at both of them.

"Daddy, I want golf cwubs wike Uncwle Edward's too!"

I carefully place them back in the box and make a mental note to buy a case for them.

"I'll call them later and thank them."

I open the next few gifts and thank each individual. They always know the right things to buy for me.

Josh insists that I open his present next because he's getting sleepy. I open the little box and pull out the shiny Spiderman Pen.

"Coooool" I widen my eyes and gasp for his benefit. "Come, give me a hug." He does and yawns when I put him back down.

"He bought it with his own money," Alice whispers from across the room."

"Thanks, buddy." I ruffle his hair as he rubs his eyes and climbs into his father's lap.

Bella's gift is a little unexpected. It's a pair of monogrammed platinum cufflinks, elegantly scripted with the letters EM MD. They're beautiful, and I thank her with a passionate, yet discreet kiss.

Josh is unable to keep his eyes open any longer, and Jasper puts him to bed in my parents' room.

My mother slices my cake and passes plates around the room, and I seize the moment to start this rather difficult conversation.

"I want to thank all of you for making this day special. I don't normally make a big deal of my birthday, but today has been more than I could ask for, truly."

"Yeah, especially since you came away with a fuck load of extravagant gifts."

"Emmett!" My parents admonish in unison.

"Jealousy looks good on you, Em," I laugh. "Seriously though, I wanted to talk to you guys tonight about a few important things."

They sit and wait patiently for me to begin. I take Bella's hand and pull her down to sit beside me.

"Firstly, I'm being considered for the Chief of Surgery position."

Everyone is thrilled and congratulates me. They talk amongst themselves about how much I deserve this, and how it's a wonderful opportunity for me. It's almost shameful that I have to shock them with the rest of my news.

"When will you know whether you've got the job?"

"There's still another meeting with the Board, but I assume it's going to be a few more weeks before I'm officially notified whether I've been successful or not. The announcement will officially be made at the hospital's annual banquet. I would love for my family to be there, that is, if I'm successful of course."

"I'm confident that you will be, Edward," my mother says and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

"Well, that calls for a shopping day for us ladies," Alice declares, and she and Rosalie immediately get into a discussion about what they're going to wear. Bella senses that I'm a bit uncomfortable and turns to me, squeezing my hand affectionately.

"This is amazing news. Why don't you seem happier?"

"I need to tell my family about Lauren. It's time."

She signals her understanding silently as she looks into my eyes. She lifts her hand to gently run down my cheek, and then she reassures me with that smile that I've loved from the very first moment I laid eyes on it. I squeeze her fingers and turn back to my waiting family.

"I also want to talk to you all about another very important matter." I stand up from the couch and walk over to where my parents are standing. Jasper reenters the room and sits next to Alice.

"Most of you know about my rocky relationship with Lauren, but you aren't aware of everything that's happened between us. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to come you in the beginning, and once I tell you, you'll understand why."

Emmett and Alice both stand and look at me with concern. They know a little about what happened. Emmett knows more. My mother's expression is one of confusion and worry. My father remains stoic.

"As you know, Lauren has been charged and is going face trial for the part she played in Josh's accident. There are things that will be revealed at trial that I want to tell you myself, before some lawyer starts to twist and manipulate things to make me look like a complete monster."

"Christ, you think she's going to bring that up during the trial?" Emmett snaps.

"Yes, there's no way around it, Em."

"Bring what up? What's going on, Edward? Why would anyone want to make you look like a monster?" My mother twists her hands anxiously.

"Before Lauren and I were married…" My voice trails off, and I clear my throat and start again. "The night of the party that Alice threw for me when I passed the Boards exam, Lauren put Rohypnol in my drink and later convinced me that I had gotten her pregnant."

"What?" My parents both rise to their feet in horror.

"I didn't know about it until a little after she miscarried the baby. She confessed it to me under a tremendous amount of grief and stress, and with the need to hurt and humiliate me."

"My God, I can't believe what I'm hearing!" My mother walks away in distress.

"There's a good chance that this is going to come out in court, and there's much more." I go on to tell them about the suspicions I have about the baby not having been mine and about all of the women I've used and disgraced.

I'm surprised, that after having digested this shocking information, my family has shown me nothing but support, and they've forgiven me for my past behavior. I had to speak to my mother privately because she was so upset. She wanted to go over to Lauren's parents' house and throttle her. It took some time, but my father and I were able to calm her down, then she hugged me for what seemed like an eternity.

After a wonderful night that ended in sadness and stress, I finally breathe a sigh of relief as Bella and I drive home.

"I'm proud of you." She rubs my arm affectionately.

"I'm proud of my mother for not showing up at Lauren's door with a bat."

"I'm serious," she giggles. "You've told your family about the most difficult part of your life, and you're going to be the head of surgery at one of the country's most prestigious hospitals. This has been an amazing night, Edward."

"You're amazing." I draw her hand to my mouth and kiss it tenderly. "I don't think I would have been able to do this without you."

"I had nothing to do with your brilliance as a doctor."

"No, but you're a brilliant doctor too. If not for that, I would never have had the courage to tell my parents. I would never have had the courage to face it myself. You had everything to do with that, Bella, and I'm truly lucky to have you in my life."

She smiles silently. There's a twinkle in her eye that I've never seen before, and I silently pray that I'm the reason for it.

As soon as we enter the house, Bella disappears upstairs. I flip idly through the day's mail. My eyes rest on an official looking manila envelope, and I open it immediately. I scan through the legal mumbo jumbo, and one specific paragraph captures my attention.

_It is therefore ordered, adjudged and decreed that the state of marriage existing between the parties should be and is hereby terminated and dissolved…_

I hastily read over the rest of the document.

"It's finally over," I breathe with relief.

I drop the document onto the table and race upstairs to share the news with Bella.

I open the bedroom door, and I'm mesmerized. She's standing in nothing but sexy satin and lace lingerie. It's white with black trim. The pale, creamy texture of her skin looks like luminescent and rare pearl in contrast to the lingerie. My eyes finally wander lower.

_Fuck!_

She has on heels and sheer black stockings. The sight of the lace trim resting against her alluringly thighs makes my throat constrict at the thought of the silky texture of the skin above them.

I swallow hard as I notice something else.

"Happy Birthday, Edward." She says softly.

"Yes. It. Is." I enunciate slowly as my eyes rake over her from head to toe. The click of a button snaps my eyes back hers, and I look back at what she's holding in her hand. I struggle to find my voice.

"What are you doing?" I whisper hoarsely.

She bites her pouty lip seductively. "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille."

She holds a video camera in her hand, and points it at me.

"No, Bella. We're not doing this." I reach over and take the camera from her. She looks dejected as her eyes follow me across the room. I place the camera on the dresser and exhale deeply.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought…" Her voice trails off, and I feel like a jerk for making her feel this way.

"I'm not upset. I just don't…fuck…I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I don't want you thinking that this is what you have to do to make me happy." I gesture toward the camera.

"That's not what I think. Is that what _you _think?"

"God, Bella, I just spent the evening telling my parents about what I used to do to women. This just feels a little…"

"Oh! I get it," she says quietly and sits on the bed. "It was stupid. I'm sorry."

"Bella, you don't understand. You mean _everything _to me. I don't want to do that with you and find that you look at me differently in the morning; regret the entire thing, think that I've put you in a class with all those other women."

"You know, you could give me a little credit. I know that what you did with those women was wrong, but it wasn't the filming that was wrong. Your infidelity and the disregard for those women were the things that made it wrong. I don't see this as a bad thing, Edward," she gestures to the camera. "I see it as a way for two willing people, who are comfortable in their sexual exploration of each other, to grow in their sensuality."

I blink at her then chuckle to myself. "Sexual exploration?"

"Mmhm."

I sit down beside her and comb my fingers through her hair.

"I don't want to do anything that will make you feel uncomfortable."

"Same here."

I gently push her back onto the bed and stand, removing my shirt and pants.

"Do me a favor?"

"For the birthday boy, name it."

I take a few steps backward and pick up the camera.

"Repeat that Cecil B. DeMille line."


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 38

Early Friday morning finds me idly paging through a medical journal as I wait. The receptionist meets my eye and smiles broadly each time I glance up. I don't want to create a misunderstanding, so I return her smile in a friendly, but impersonal manner. I wonder whether she's heard any rumors about my reputation. Not that it matters to me; I'm certainly not interested in attracting any female other than Bella. Although, that has nothing to do with my response to the receptionist, the conversation with Geraldine Brody is still uppermost in my mind.

Doctor Doyle finally appears to greet me. There are only three board members present today, my dad, Lionel Doyle and Robert Jansen. I greet the two with a handshake and notice that the table setting is less formal, with chairs placed around it. It's obvious by the paperwork at one end that this is where we are intended to sit. Doctor Doyle moves to the head of the table and my dad and Doctor Jansen sit on his left. He gestures for me to take a seat on his right.

"Make yourself comfortable, Doctor Masen. Thank you for joining us once again."

My dad pours four glasses of water from the carafe and places a glass in front of each person as Lionel Doyle continues.

"After our first round of interviews, the Board discussed each candidate's suitability and merits in great detail, and we are in unanimous agreement. It was decided that we three would conduct the final interviews and report back to the full Board. The Board will then meet to decide on the new incumbent. Only two candidates have been invited back for a second interview. Obviously, since you are here, you are now aware that you are one of those people. You impressed everyone greatly at the last meeting. You've now had time to digest the full implications of the role, and we would like to revisit certain areas. We hope to gain a deeper understanding of your feelings and motivations for the job."

When he's done, I think about what he's said for a moment. It makes perfect sense to me that these three men be present at the final interviews. Doctor Doyle's area of expertise covers the educational aspects of becoming a doctor as well as the administrative area of operating a large complex and large hospital. My dad represents the surgical side and has an in-depth knowledge of how St. Luc's operates. Doctor Jansen's knowledge is in the broader area of general practice patient care.

"Doctor Doyle, I thank you for the high honor the Board has bestowed on me. I'm humbled to be included on your shortlist. I would appreciate your conveying my thanks to the other board members as well."

"Well, Doctor Masen, let's start by going over your thinking for the ongoing education of our surgical team. How do you propose that we keep them updated with advances in medicine, surgical techniques and equipment? It's a daunting task." Doctor Jansen states.

This time, rather than simply listening to my responses and moving on to the next question, the four of us enter into deep discussion and debate about all aspects of the job. The topics span a wide range, further and ongoing education of the surgical team, and the merits of new surgical techniques and just how leading edge we would want St. Luc's to be. We also discuss the interface between the surgical team and other departments in the hospital and how that can be improved. In many ways, the discussions remind me of the number of times since I've become a surgeon, that my dad and I would become deeply engrossed in conversations such as this. We're often subjected to the wry comments of our family because of it.

Doctor Jansen finally sits back with a small smile and says, "I think we've covered just about everything. Thank you so much, Edward, for your insights. It's been very interesting and stimulating."

Doctor Doyle stands and the rest of us follow. "Doctor Masen, we will be in touch with you within a week to let you know of our decision. Once again, thank you so much for your time." He holds out his hand and shakes mine warmly.

I shake hands with Doctor Jansen and turn to farewell my dad, when he says, "I'll see you out, Edward."

He steps into the reception area with me and turns. He takes my hand in his and gives me a warm pat on the back.

"Well done, Son. You make me proud," he says quietly so that only I can hear.

"Thanks, Dad," I all but whisper and give him a broad smile before I leave.

As I wait for the elevator to arrive, I realize that I have no idea who the other shortlisted candidate is. I wonder if it is Mike Newton. I hope he doesn't get the job, because that would make him my boss.

_Fuck that!_

_._

_._

_._

"Oh, fuck…Bella!" I groan as she moves over me. She's facing away from me. I find the vision of her in this position overwhelmingly erotic, and I have to really struggle not to lose control. She looks at me over her shoulder and smiles seductively.

My eyes remain fixated on the way her luscious ass raises up and down. I'm mesmerized and almost brought undone by the sight alone of her taking me into her warm, wet body, then releasing me, only to engulf me again.

"Shit!" I hiss as she bridges back, changing the angle. The ends of her long hair, skim my chest repeatedly, tickling my drenched skin as she glides back and forth.

My climax is approaching violently, and I can feel that she's not that far behind.

"Yes, just like that!" I praise and grip her hips, guiding her to stay in this rhythm. She moans in appreciation as she too feels it. Her movements start to become tight and more pronounced, and her head lolls back.

"Oh, God, please!"

I know instantly what she wants, what she needs. My hand slips in-between her legs; and with just a couple of strokes, I bring her crashing to orgasm. I follow her spectacularly seconds later.

As we lie entangled, I think about how every experience I have with Bella is heightened. It doesn't matter how many women I've been with, they fade into nothingness when compared to the way she affects me. She's enslaved me completely; she stimulates, comforts and satisfies me in every way… mind, body and soul.

.

.

.

The next morning, I drop Bella off at her office on my way in to work. I step out of the car and walk around to open the door for her.

"You're such a gentleman."

"I try hard to be…with you."

"Only with me?" She laughs and kisses me quickly.

"Well, you know. I'm no saint."

She rolls her eyes and kisses me again.

"No, you're not, and could we please refrain from using biblical references after what we did last night and again this morning?"

"We could," I laugh and suck my teeth, "but the number of times God's name was called…"

"Point taken, no need to finish the statement," she giggles. "Will I see you later?"

"It'll most likely be much later. I'm on call well into the night." I smooth out the collar of her already neatly pressed navy blazer.

"That's fine with me. Just call me before you're on your way so I can make sure that I'm awake to let you in."

"Okay." I kiss her one last time, before she turns to head up to her office. As I watch her walk away, I remember something I forgot to ask her.

"Bella?" I call out and jog to catch up to her.

"I know it's a bit premature of me, and I'm getting ahead of myself, but I wanted to ask if you'll go to the banquet with me? I'd be expected to attend whether I'm appointed or not, as it's St. Luc's annual dinner but also as a show of support for whomever gets the position."

She smiles at me and shakes her head.

"You're so full of shit. You're expecting to get that promotion because you _know _that you're the most talented and respected surgeon in the running for the job, and yes, I would be honored to accompany the new Chief of Surgery, Edward." She reaches out and strokes my jaw affectionately. "I'll see you later."

I'm left behind watching as the woman I'm crazy about walks away, and I'm in awe. I'm literally in awe because of the way she's accepted me into her life, despite all my flaws and past indiscretions. I wish there was a way for me to show her just how much she means to me.

She suddenly turns and looks over her shoulder at me, smiling brightly, and my heart leaps. As she turns and walks away, a young woman in the parking lot catches her attention, and she stops to talk to her.

I think about how undeserving I am to have won her over and to keep her in my life. I've thought that every moment since we've entered into this relationship. I smile as I think back to the first time I met her. We both made a memorable first impression on the other, and not for the same reasons, I'm sure.

"_Good morning, Doctor Masen. I thought your wife would be accompanying you today?" _

_She's the most stunningly attractive woman I've ever seen. And believe me, I've seen plenty._

"_As far as I know, she'll be here, this is her idea after all." I can't mask my annoyance, even though my attention keeps reverting to her pouty, pink lips._

"_Well, that's fine." She chuckles and offers me her hand. "I'm Doctor Isabella Swan, and I'm glad that you could make it. I know you're an exceptionally busy man."_

"_Yes I am." I respond curtly as I shake her hand then take the seat in front of her desk that she proffers._

"_I respect that, and I won't keep you any longer than necessary. This works out perfectly, actually. It gives me time to gain insight into how you're feeling, before your wife gets here." She smiles and sits behind her desk. I know her motives, she's trying to disarm me and make me feel comfortable enough to bare my soul. _

_Doctor Isabella Swan, you're barking up the wrong goddamned tree if you think this is going to be a walk in the park._

"_Insight?" I ask snidely. No one, not even my family has that kind of view into my feelings, why the hell does she think she'll gain it?_

"_Yes, Doctor Masen, it's what therapists need to enable them to help their patients. The goal at these sessions, it is for all parties to gain insight into the issues, which impact on the relationship in question. You and your wife will hopefully gain insight into how the other really feels, and I will gain insight into the areas where I can help you both to navigate a path to better understanding."_

_I raise one eyebrow skeptically but remain silent. This is just bullshit psychobabble, as far as I'm concerned. She pretends that she hasn't noticed my response and continues._

"_As I haven't had the opportunity to speak with you before now, I'm hoping that the short time we have while we wait for your wife will break the ice, so to speak. As you know, I've already spoken with Mrs. Masen, so why don't you start by telling me what you'd like to gain from therapy." She pulls out her pad and pen, most likely, ready to scribble down and analyze all types of shit that comes out of my mouth. Well, I won't make it easy for her._

"_What I've just heard is standard textbook psychobabble, Doctor. I'm surprised that you're able to make a living by spouting stuff that I'd expect from any first year psych student."_

_It's a cheap shot, but so is her treating me like some bloody idiot. I don't want Isabella Swan to think I'll be a pushover. Her smile fades as she writes something down._

"_I do just fine in making a living, Doctor Masen, and no one has run for the exit yet. Your theory seems to be lacking in foundation, so can we get started on the basics, given that you are unable to articulate what you'd like to gain from therapy. Tell me a little about yourself."_

_You have got to be fucking kidding me. How did I end up here? Oh, right, the wife and those fucking discs._

_She looks at me, waiting for me to offer up something. I raise my eyebrows while I stare back at her, indicating that I have the same expectation of her. I can tell by the long, though silent breath she exhales that she's already frustrated with me. _

_My eyes travel from her eyes to her lips and finally settle on the delicate, gold chain around her neck. The pendant sits snugly at the indentation at the base of her throat. I lick my lips at the slight movement when she swallows or breathes._

_I want to lick her there._

"_You could start by telling me who you are."_

_I frown at her incredulously. _

"_I'm sorry, you're wasting my time and yours by asking these mundane questions. The intake form tells you exactly who I am. And you call yourself a therapist?" I scoff._

_Her beautiful features diffuse in anger._

"_Doctor Masen, I can assure you that this is the way I run my therapy sessions. Despite the fact that you and I specialize in different medical fields, I think it is safe to say that we both have a good handle on how to practice our specialties and what to expect from doctor-patient interactions. I'm sure that you would never allow a patient to treat you in the manner you've demonstrated today, regardless of what that patient may think or feel. Now, I have read the details that you so kindly enlightened me are available on the intake form. Those details provide information about your identity, your birth date, contact details and what you do. It does not tell me who you are, Doctor. Or are you nothing more than a name, birth date, address, telephone number and an occupation? What I asked was, do you know who you are, do you understand why you are here, and furthermore, what are your expectations of your and your wife's therapy sessions?"_

_She's pissed, and for me, it's an absolute turn on. I chuckle darkly to myself, at how easily I'm able to get under her skin._

"_Now, we have obviously wasted precious time with this unnecessary conversation, and I'm sure your wife will be arriving any minute, so I'll just abandon the topic until our next session."_

_I open my mouth to speak, but she cuts me off._

"_Instead," she emphasizes the word and shoots me a near murderous glare, daring me to speak. I feel the corners of my mouth quiver in a threatening smile, but I fight to hold it back. "Instead, I'd like you to complete an assignment. You need to truly think of the answer to my question. As in, who are you, Doctor Masen. I'll need you to articulate this to me at our next session. "_

_I can't resist the urge to make this day worth my while._

_I tap my chin and arch an eyebrow suggestively, "Do you expect that in writing or orally?" _

Damn, I was such a prick back then, but we've come a long way.

I stare at her and smile as she waves to me. My divorce is final, and I know in my heart and soul, that she's definitely the one for me.

Not since Irina, have I felt this strongly about a woman, and my feelings for Irina pale into insignificance compared to what I feel for Bella.

The feelings that I've tried so hard to understand are now becoming clear, and I can't wait to share them with her.

.

.

.

I stop off at my office to check on messages before I start my morning rounds. I start in the ER. It seems quiet; less chaotic than usual, the day should run smoothly.

"Good morning, Doctor Masen."

"Morning, Jess. You're assisting with the A-Fib, later." I announce as I read over a patient's chart.

"Yes, Doctor Masen."

I walk over to the surgical board and read over the current cases.

"Good morning, all." He announces as he enters, more chipper than I normally see him being.

"Morning, Masen. It's a lovely day for surgery, wouldn't you agree?"

"Morning, Mike. What has you in such a good mood?" I keep my focus on the board as he stands beside me.

"Oh, not much, I just had my second interview for the Chief of Surgery role with the Board."

So, now I know that he's the other short-listed candidate. The idiot doesn't even have the class to be discreet about it. I'm not sure whether he has any inkling that I'm in the race with him, but for now, I'll just play his game and wait to see how things turn out.

"I take it that you've had positive feedback during the interview?" I ask disinterestedly. I know that the Board would not have told him anymore than they've revealed to me. He's just baiting me.

"Absolutely, even your father seemed to be impressed with me."

Now he's just trying to turn the knife, and I feel my ire rise, despite my resolve.

"Why wouldn't he be? You're an exceptional surgeon. Everybody knows this, Mike, especially my father. Or did you forget that he once held the position and has the ability and experience to recognize exceptional talent?" I bite out.

_He's such an asshole._

"You know more than anyone, how much I admire your father. I idolize the man."

I snort at his revelation. Yes, Mike is obsessed with Doctor Edward Masen Senior.

"How amazing! You and I finally find some common ground. What's the world coming to?" I say snidely as I walk away, leaving him looking at his schedule.

"That position is mine, Masen," he calls out, and I smirk at him over my shoulder.

_We'll see about that, Newton_

.

.

.

I look across the lot and wave to the man who's changed my life. I can tell that he shares my happiness, and I couldn't be more satisfied with the way things are turning out between us.

I turn toward my office, and I'm practically bowled over by a young woman.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm such a klutz," she apologizes as she stoops to pick up her things, and I bend down to assist.

"It's all right. Believe me, I understand the early morning rush." I give her a reassuring smile.

"I wish it was just that." She mutters and looks over her shoulder apprehensively.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just thought I saw someone I used to know," she deadpans. "It's probably a good thing that I'm not too sure it was him."

"Old boyfriend?"

"Old jackass."

I stifle a laugh.

"Well, if it were not for the jackasses, we wouldn't come to appreciate the gentlemen." I laugh, and she smiles back at me.

"Writer?"

"Therapist." I watch as her facial expression morphs into realization.

"You're Dr. Swan!" She exclaims excitedly. "I just left your office."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did my receptionist arrange an appointment?"

"Um, no," she chuckles lightly. "I'm a friend of Leah's. I just stopped by to see if she could join me for lunch so we could catch up. I just got back into town."

"Oh, yes, she's mentioned you. You were studying abroad. You want to be a physician's assistant, right?"

"Yes. My flight landed about two hours ago, and I called Leah to see if it was okay to stop by. I hope I didn't get her into any trouble."

"No trouble at all. Leah's a terrific young woman and a hard worker. You can stop by whenever you like. It was nice meeting you…"

"Justine, my name is Justine."


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 39

As I ride the elevator up to my office, I mentally prepare myself for the day ahead. My schedule is pretty light as the majority of today's patients are well settled into their sessions. My last appointment, however, has 'fallen off the wagon', so to speak, and I expect that there'll be some kind of emotional outburst from him.

Leah greets me with a bright smile almost as soon as the elevator doors open.

"Good morning," I practically sing out, as I approach her desk.

"Morning. Someone's in a good mood!"

"Things are good." I say nonchalantly as try to downplay my upbeat mood, when what I really want to do is pirouette around the office.

"I'm happy to hear it. You have one cancellation and two reschedules."

"The cancellation didn't reschedule?"

"Unfortunately, not. He said, and I quote _'I'm good. I don't need therapy. The wife and I will work it out on our own.'_ She assumes a gruff male tone, and we both giggle.

"I'd know that tone anywhere. I'll see if I can talk him into reconsidering. Oh, by the way, I ran into your friend in the parking lot."

"You saw Justine?" Her voice rises in alarmed surprise. I choose to ignore what I feel to be a strange response to a pretty normal statement.

"Yes, I mean we literally ran into each other; well, she bumped into me after Edward dropped me off."

"Oh my God, did she see him?" Again, the near squeak, and she's appears almost panicked.

I frown and sit down in front of her, and mentally run through my meeting with her friend.

_I just thought I saw someone who I used to know._

_Old Boyfriend?_

_Old Jackass._

"Now that I remember, she did mention seeing someone, but it could've been anyone." I shrug.

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right." She smiles tightly and starts shuffling papers.

"Leah…hey," I place my hand on the stack of papers, making her look at me. "Why would you ask if your friend saw Edward?"

"Oh, I...I um…I just meant he's so handsome, and I…."

"All right, _stop._ You're really not a good liar, so let's just cut to the chase, shall we? How does Justine know Edward?"

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't know that she would just show up here. If I had, I would…."

I hold up a hand to interrupt her.

"Just tell me." I exhale sharply.

"Remember, a while back, when I first started working here, I mentioned that a friend had told me about Doctor Masen's reputation?"

"Vaguely, continue."

"Well, Justine's is that friend."

She looks at me apprehensively, and I realize that at some point, Justine and Edward had probably known each other intimately.

I avert my eyes. _Jesus, is there no getting away from it?_

"It's not good, Bella."

"It doesn't matter. I don't want to know about it." I head for my office.

"But…"

"Leah, I've learned the details of Edward's past firsthand, and it was _scandalous_ to say the least. There's nothing you can tell me about him that will shock or surprise me, and there's nothing that you can say that will change my feelings for him. So, let's just pretend that this conversation never happened, shall we?"

"O-okay, I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset. Let's just start the day." I smile weakly and shut my office door behind me.

I busy myself by getting out my first patient's file, as I try to convince myself that I'm not intrigued or concerned by what Leah might have divulged about Edward's relationship with Justine. But in all honesty, it's resting heavily on my mind.

.

.

.

It's been an exhausting day. The ER got really swamped, and that, coupled with my scheduled surgeries ensured that I've spent almost the entire day in the OR. I sigh and start going over the previous day's post-op charts; I need to finish them before I do my rounds and leave for the day.

"Jessica, I'm going for a late lunch. If anyone needs me, I'm on pager three."

While I wait for the elevator, I send Bella a text, letting her know that I'm thinking of her. She doesn't respond, so I assume that she's with a patient.

The noisy cafeteria and predictably boring food don't appeal to me, so I decide to visit a nearby delicatessen. I'm stunned to see a familiar face on the other side of the entrance door.

The unusual, vibrant red hair is unmistakable, and not very common. I'd never seen quite that shade, until I'd met her. She's purchasing bottled water from a street vendor and is oblivious to my presence, then she turns around, and our eyes meet. Neither of us moves nor speaks, until I break the awkward silence.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine." She replies curtly.

"You look…."

"_Don't,_ Edward." She holds up a hand to cut me off.

"I was just going to say that you look well."

"Wow, that's new. And here I thought you were about to tell me how beautiful I am, closely followed by an invitation to join you in a hotel room."

I cringe at the blunt reminder of my past behavior.

"I'm sorry. I know things were …" I scratch the back of my neck nervously as I search for the right words, but there's no need to sugarcoat things with her. "I was a bastard back then, and I want to apologize for that, Justine."

"_Was_ implies that you aren't any longer. Is that what you're trying to tell me, Edward?"

"I'm not implying anything. I just wanted to apologize."

"Hmph." She scoffs.

"So, are you visiting someone at the hospital?"

"I'm here for a job interview, but perhaps that's not such a good idea. I didn't think about running into you frequently."

"You shouldn't let what happened stop you from pursuing your career. St. Luc's is the best hospital in the state. Don't let the past stand in your way."

"I'll give it some careful thought." She says brusquely and walks past me and enters the hospital.

"Well that was fun," I scoff and make my way to lunch.

.

.

.

I decide to drop in on Alice on my way home, as we haven't talked or seen each other since the night of my birthday.

"I made pasta for dinner, would you like me to make up a plate for you?" She offers almost as soon as I walk through the door.

"Absolutely." My sister makes the best spaghetti and meatballs. I'm surprised that Jasper and Josh left any, as they share my love and appetite for her specialty.

I eagerly seat myself at the table as she piles two plates high. My mouth waters as the aroma assaults my senses. I've already started digging in by the time she places two beers on the table and takes a seat.

"This is amazing, Al," I mumble with my mouth full and reach for my beer.

"Thanks. Are the meals in the hospital cafeteria not meeting your standards?"

"You're kidding me, right? The food is practically inedible. While St. Luc's may have some of the most enviable healthcare services, we are not recognized for our culinary offering," I scoff. "Maybe we should hire you or Mom to revamp the menu."

"That's an idea…well for Mom, not me." She twirls pasta onto her fork and blows before taking a bite.

"You're eating unusually late."

"Well, I was trying to wait for Jasper, but he called just before you did and told me that he'd be late. He insisted that I eat without him."

"He's been working crazy hours lately. How's that sitting with you?"

"We manage. He wants to us to have a comfortable life, so he worries about money." She shrugs dismissively.

I sit back and look at her, "Are the two of you having financial problems? If you are, you know you can come to me."

"No, it's not that. He worries about balancing work with our home life. I think he feels guilty when his job calls him out at odd hours, or at times when we should be having family time."

"Well, that's understandable when you think about the kind of upbringing he's had. He wants better for his family."

"I know, and he makes sure that he spends any free time he gets with me and Josh, but he pushes himself hard to provide for everything he thinks we should have. He assures me that things will settle down once the baby is born." She goes back to her food as if she didn't just drop a bomb on me.

"Excuse me? What baby? You're pregnant?"

"Oh, yeah," she giggles. "I've known for about a week now."

"You've known for a week, and you're just telling me now?"

"Well, I wanted to tell everyone the night we were all at Mom and Dad's, but it was your day, and with your revelation; it really wasn't the time, Edward."

I look down at my plate, and my appetite suddenly disappears.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I always seem to ruin everything with my shit."

"Hey, that's not true. Edward, what you did that night was a really courageous and tough thing to do, especially for a man like you." She reaches over and places her hand on mine. "Everything is out in the open, and now you can heal and move on from it."

I shake my head in amused amazement, "You sound like Bella."

"I do, don't I?" She smiles. "She _is_ pretty amazing. I remember all the encouraging and comforting things she said to me when we were in the hospital chapel. I was such a bitch to her, but she never once wavered from who she is, a warm, compassionate person and an extremely good therapist. How the hell did you meet her, anyway?"

"She was my marriage therapist."

She chokes; eyes wide, coughing. I'm mystified as to why this piece of news, after what she's learned about my life lately, should shock her. I rush to assist and pat her on the back. When she's recovered somewhat, I try giving her something to drink.

"Not the beer, you imbecile, I'm pregnant!"

"Oh, fuck! I'm sorry, Alice. You put two bottles on the table! I'll get you some water."

"Oh, to hell with it, it won't kill me." She wheezes and takes a healthy swig. When she's stopped spluttering, she fixes me with a penetrating glare.

"What?"

"You're dating your marriage therapist, Edward?"

"Hey, _ex _therapist, and don't judge." I point a warning finger at her before taking my seat.

"I'm not." She holds up her hands in defense and then shakes her head before breaking out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"What the hell is so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just that you always did do things the hard way, big brother. Not that I'm not happy that you rid yourself of that harpy you once called a wife. Wait, you _are _divorced, right?"

"Finalized about a week ago."

"Well, that's good news. At least now you and Bella aren't committing one of the seven deadly sins."

"Very funny." I deadpan.

She waves a hand dismissively, and I finally concede to the irony and laugh along with her.

"So, I'm going to be an uncle again. That's awesome, Sis, have you told Spiderman yet?"

"Not yet. Jasper and I are planning on doing so this weekend. We plan on taking him to the Reptile House and his favorite place to eat after, just in case he doesn't respond well to the news."

"He'll be fine. He's been waiting for this; I have too, actually." I kneel and turn her chair toward me, placing a hand on her belly. "Hey little one, this is your uncle Edward."

"What are you doing, Edward? I'm only eight and a half weeks," she giggles.

"Do you know that it's the best time of a pregnancy? It's new and exciting, wondering what the sex is going to be, all the crazy cravings and the planning."

She senses my nostalgia and strokes my hair, looking deep into my eyes.

"You're an amazing brother and uncle, and you're going to be an amazing father, Edward. It's your destiny."

_From you lips to God's ear, little sister._

_._

_._

_._

It's late as Bella and I lounge lazily in bed. We'd both had a long and exhausting day and had shared an intimate, soothing bath earlier.

"I love your hair," I murmur as I comb my finger through her silky locks.

"You're going to spoil me." She moans.

"That's the intention."

"Then how will you ever rid yourself of me?" She bats her lashes playfully.

I grab her chin gently so I can look into her eyes.

"I don't want you to ever leave. Do you understand me?"

She nods, sensing how serious I am. "It was just a joke, Edward. I didn't mean anything by it."

"Do you know how special you are to me, Bella? I don't ever want to think about my life without you in it."

"Then don't, because you're stuck with me." She cranes her neck and gives me three soft kisses on the mouth before nestling her head on my chest.

I can't believe what I'm about to say, but I don't want there to be any secrets between us.

"I ran into someone from my past at work today."

She blinks as she looks up at me, waiting for me to continue.

"Her name is Justine. We met a while back when I was on a business trip."

"I'm listening," she says quietly.

"To cut a long story short, we spent the weekend together and when it ended, she didn't handle it well. She got hurt."

"You mean you broke her heart." She slides off the bed, taking the sheet with her, and I instantly feel the loss not only of her warm body, but the sense of being centered that I feel in her presence.

For the second time today, I find myself cringing at my erroneous past.

"So, it _was _you she saw." She sits on the edge of the bed with her back turned to me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frown at her. "Do you know her?"

"I don't know her, Edward. Justine just happens to be Leah's friend."

"Your receptionist?"

"Yes. I also _ran into her_ after you dropped me off this morning." She huffs and wraps the sheet more securely around her body as she turns to face me.

Something, I can't decipher what, in her tone leaves me feeling uneasy. I sit up and fist the bottom of the sheet and pull her to me. She averts her eyes.

"I'm only bringing this up because I don't want there to be any secrets between us. Justine turned up at the hospital, looking for a job. I didn't want this blowing up in my face later. You know more about me and my past than anyone, Bella. I can't hide who I was. But, Bella, you also know who I _really _am, who I want to be. Other than my family, you are the only person who knows this side of me. So, I have to ask, are you still able to accept that part of me, the ugly part, or have things changed for you?"

I silently pray that this incident doesn't prove to be the last straw; the thing that finally makes her decide that I'm not worth the trouble. Her silence does nothing to settle my nerves, and I fight hard to keep the sense of panic at bay.

"Bella?" She sighs deeply and finally looks at me.

"Nothing's changed. I just ...I know that there is always the possibility of other women popping up, but for some reason, this one muddies the water. It feels more personal. I'm not sure why, but like Victoria, her presence has infiltrated my place of work, and this Justine is also a friend of someone I'm starting to think of as a friend. "She shrugs her shoulders in a helpless gesture. The hurt I see in her eyes is like a lance to my heart.

I drag at the sheet until she's seated on my lap. "There's no reason to worry about her. She means nothing to me. I feel nothing for her, except regret for having used and hurt her. Please Bella, believe me. I doubt that she would want to rekindle anything, and I sure as hell don't. She's not the type to cause problems. In fact, the blame for what happened between us is entirely mine. And I won't be walking that path again. What I need to know is; can you put up with me and my mess?"

"It's not going to be easy."

"No, it's not, and when Lauren's trial gets underway it's going to get a lot worse."

She studies my expression closely and traces my brows with her fingertips.

"I said you were stuck with me. Did you not hear me?"

I slowly unwrap the sheet and make love to her; on the floor, repeatedly.

.

.

.

Soon after I arrived at work this morning, Doctor Lionel Doyle had me paged. The receptionist asked me to meet him in his office, and now I'm restlessly pacing the reception area. I'm trying to appear outwardly calm, but I'm a jangled mess; I feel sure that the Board has reached a decision. I wonder whether Mike's been contacted, and I worry whether he's been told that he has the job.

If Mike's been granted the position, I'm going to have to school myself to be gracious, smile and shake his hand. I'll have to congratulate him on a well-deserved promotion. He'll be my boss.

_The fuckhead!_

"Doctor Masen, Doctor Doyle will see you now." She says expressionlessly.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 40

I straighten my bowtie. _Check_. Inspect my shoes to ensure no scuffmarks. _Check_. I fasten my cufflinks. "My birthday present from Bella." _Double Check_.

My eyes wander and land on the top of the dresser, and I smile widely.

I run a hand through my hair, and reach for my jacket.

I turn to the mirror for a final check and stare at the reflection of the man staring back at me; tailored Armani suit and Gucci patent leather Oxfords, a new light in his eyes that had not been evidenced in many years, and I think about how far I've come since I graduated, how I had always dreamed of this. And inevitably, I remember the painful and sordid intervening years. I'd lost so much in that time, including my moral compass. But I'm different now; no longer do I see the murkiness of self-loathing, misplaced anger and hopelessness. I see hope and determination, and I smile as I think of the woman who helped me to find my way out of that dark period. I shake my head slightly to bring myself back to the present.

And to think I worried that I wouldn't get this promotion_. _Who am I kidding?I was shaking in my scrubs just before finding out.

"_Doctor Masen, Doctor Doyle will see you now." She says expressionlessly. _

_We stop at the entrance of a door, left slightly ajar. She smiles and turns to walk away. _

_Fuck! Here goes nothing._

_I take a moment to compose myself, run my hands over my face and then smooth them down my scrubs. Bella would swear that these were signs of my being nervous. A quirk, she would call it, damn her perceptiveness!_

_I still my nerves and tap lightly on the door before I enter. He looks up briefly, and seeing me, gets up from his seat, hand extended._

"_Good afternoon, Doctor Masen. Thank you for arriving so promptly."_

"_Good afternoon. Things have settled down a bit, so I was able to leave on time."_

"_Things running to schedule in an ER?" He laughs lightly then looks down and rifles through a folder on his desk. My knee begins to bounce. _

_Fuck! I can't read anyone around this place. Goddamned poker faces!_

_I wait with bated breath for him to say something, anything; but he just flips idly through the folder._

_I discreetly crane my neck to see what he's reading, but it's impossible to read from this angle._

"_You've made quite an impression on me, and the other Board members. You're an exceptional surgeon, Doctor Masen; arguably the best at St. Luc's and amongst the best in the state…."_

_He pauses dramatically as he stares at me over the rim of his glasses._

"_Although, we were somewhat concerned about the allegations of your extracurricular activities." _

_I swallow hard and nod without speaking._

"_As you know, we can't legislate for non-fraternization between staff members. Many of our employees have found his or her significant other in this hospital, and we do not wish to stand in the way of people's happiness. In this very stressful environment, being happy is paramount to good performance. I'm sure you're aware that any type of scandal can have a disastrous effect on the reputation of St. Luc's and negatively impact on the morale of staff. I don't wish to delve into your personal life, but I'm sure you understand exactly what I'm saying. I hope that we never have to revisit this discussion again, Doctor Masen. "_

"_Um…no," my voice cracks, and I clear my throat, "no, you don't, Doctor Doyle. I'm fully aware, and I understand." I move to stand, realizing that this is the end of the meeting, and that he's reached an obvious decision. He motions for me to remain seated._

"_I don' care to know any of the details which have led to these allegations. What I do know, is that St. Lucien's Chief of Surgery is expected to uphold the reputation of this hospital and that of the important office he holds. Your father has been an exemplary example of this."_

_I feel sick to the stomach at the thought of how badly I must compare with my dad. Now, I'm certain that my fate has been sealed. The job is Newton's. _

_He stands and extends his hand. I hastily get up to take his. _

"_Congratulations, Doctor Masen. I'm more than confident that you'll keep the tradition going."_

_My heart speeds, as I hold onto his palm in disbelief._

"_I have the promotion?"_

I grab my wallet, keys and the most important item from the dresser and secure them in my jacket pocket.

I look around for my cellphone just as it rings, and I rush to the bathroom to retrieve it.

Thinking that it must be Bella_,_ I answer without checking the caller identity. "Hi beautiful, are you ready for me?"

A familiar male voice responds in an appalling imitation of a sultry female's.

"Hey, gorgeous. I'm _so ready_ for you." He ends with a laugh.

"Very funny. Hey man, how are you?" I reply excitedly.

"I'm good. How are you? I hear you're the _man _in Chicago."

"Whatever," I laugh. "Hey, I got your text not too long ago. I've been meaning to respond, but I've just been so busy."

"Yeah, I heard; Chief of Surgery, huh?"

"Yes, how did you find out?"

"Mom and Dad told me. I'm just calling to say congrats. I know tonight's your big night, and I didn't want to just send a text."

"I appreciate that, man. We miss you around here. When are you coming home, or at least to visit?"

"Oh, you know, work keeps me bouncing around a lot, but I miss you guys too. I'll try and sneak in a visit around the Christmas holidays, until then, don't scare all the women off." He laughs, and I chuckle wryly.

"What's that laugh for? I know you're pretty much on the market now."

"Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle ratted me out about that too, I see."

"You just try and keep it in your pants, or at least wait until I get there, so we can go on the hunt together."

"I'll have to decline on that one. Contrary to what your parents, my dear sweet cousin and aunt think, I am completely off the market." I smile, thinking about the gorgeous woman in my life.

"Well, I can't wait to meet her. Tell Alice and Josh I said hello, and that I miss them, uncle E and Aunt Lizzie too. Oh, and tell Em and Jasper we have to have a guys' night when I visit."

"I will."

"Okay, congratulations again and enjoy your night, you deserve it. I have to get going, but I'll see you soon."

"All right and EC…"

"Yeah?"

"It was good to hear from you, man."

"You too, take care, big cousin."

I don't think this night could get any better. I'm being honored at St. Luc's annual banquet by the official announcement of my promotion made before all my peers and family. The woman of my dreams will be by my side, and one of my favorite people has just called, topping off my happiness.

.

.

.

"Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?" I lean over and whisper in her ear as we enter the banquet hall.

"Actually, you haven't."

"Well, that's only because I was robbed of speech by how staggeringly beautiful you looked when you opened the door. I've been in a near catatonic state ever since."

She looks like an ethereal goddessin her form-hugging, charcoal grey gown. Its embellishments of sparkling jewels appear to make her exotic colored eyes sparkle even more. And, dear God, don't even get me started on the slit that tantalizes with peeks at her long creamy legs as she moves; it's enough to make any man salivate. But as stunning as she looks in this dress, I can't wait until later to get her home and out of it.

"What are you thinking?" she whispers back, her arm linked with mine.

"Oh, nothing." She shoots me a skeptical mock-glare.

My family is already seated at our designated table near the presenter's podium.

I feel a bit overwhelmed as they hail our arrival with broad smiles and light clapping just as Bella and I reach the table. Josh jumps up excitedly to greet me. He's the epitome of a dapper little gentleman in his mini tuxedo, and the wide toothless grin he is sporting makes him look even cuter.

"Here he is…the man of the evening." Emmett announces and gets up to greet me with hug.

Colleagues and guests stop at our table to congratulate me throughout the night.

Things couldn't be more perfect. I'm surrounded by my loving family and about to be named as the new head of the surgical unit, at one of Illinois' most prestigious hospitals. Having Bella sitting beside me, rounds out the perfection of the night. I truly believe that this night would not have been possible, if it were not for her. She made me see the disastrous course my life was on and gave me hope that I could be the man I once dreamt of becoming. Tonight, I plan on showing her just how much she means to me, and how grateful I am to have her in my life.

I look up and notice Mike and Angela Newton's arrival. He doesn't look too happy, and Angela looks like a nervous wreck. I've no doubt that he's been hell to live with since learning that he lost out on the promotion; and losing to me must make an already bitter pill, even more unpalatable. Having to come to terms with me being his boss must be as loathsome to him as the thought of our roles being reversed was to me. He made his thoughts on the matter patently clear at our first encounter soon after my meeting with Doctor Doyle.

"_Congratulations, Doctor Masen, I guess the best man won out," he says snidely as he extends his hand. I feel sure that he's making the gesture because a number of nearby colleagues are looking on with interest, no doubt looking for new grist for the gossip mill. They cannot, however, hear what is being said. _

"_Thank you, Doctor Newton. It really could have gone either way."_

"_Yeah." He rebuffs my courtesy and walks off. _

_I haven't told anyone the news yet, and I can't decide to call whether to call my family or Bella now or later. I decide to do so once I've changed and left work for the day. I head to the on-call room for a couple of moments of respite to process the joy I'm feeling right now. I haven't really had the time to let it all sink in yet._

_I flop down onto the sofa and rest my head back._

"_Chief of Surgery! Life is damned good."_

"_God help all of us at St. Luc's." _

_He's resting on the bed on the other side of the room. Although I did not expect him to be in here, his attitude comes as no surprise. I'm sure that if I were in his place, I would be feeling just as disappointed and perhaps a little bitter, but I'd like to think that I would have been more gracious about it._

"_Don't be a sore loser, Mike. We all want what's best for St. Luc's."_

"_And that's you?" He sits up on the bed and studies me._

"_The Board made their decision." I close my eyes, and lay my head back once more._

"_They'll soon regret it. You're bound to screw it up. I'm actually shocked that the Board even considered you as a candidate with your reputation with the female staff."_

"_Ouch, Mike. Don't hold back now." I condescend, determined not to let him ruffle my feathers and get into a full-blown confrontation. _

_Fuck that!_

"_In fact, I'm surprised that they didn't look more closely into their own marriages, interrogate their own wives before considering you. Lord only knows, how many of them you've slept with."_

"_Now, Mike, that's disgusting. Half of those gentlemen's wives are old enough to be my mother." I feign indignation._

"_As if you have standards, Masen." He rises from the bed and prepares to leave._

"_Listen, Mike I get that you don't like me, but we'll have to learn to co-exist, now more than ever; I'll be your boss, after all." It's a cheap shot that I know will antagonize him, but who gives a shit? I'm the new Chief, and he'll just have to learn to deal with it._

My eyes follow as they make their way to their table. I try to get a read on the situation, but I realize that I really don't care. This is my night, and I won't let anyone ruin it.

"Is everything all right, Son?"

"Things couldn't be more perfect, Dad." I smile and reach for Bella's hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze.

A sense of bonhomie surrounds our table with plenty of laughter and good conversation being shared by all; even Rosalie and I are getting along. Imagine that. Josh is still loitering over his main meal, refusing to eat his vegetables when the wait staff starts serving dessert. His parents are insisting that he eat his greens before he can have any cake.

"But, I don't wike bwoccoli, Mommy…. Daddy," he whines turning to Jasper pleadingly.

"Hey buddy, if you eat your broccoli, Uncle Edward will let you hold his new plaque."

"What's a pwack?" He frowns.

"Forget it." I give up and shrug at Alice and Jasper, deciding to leave the problem to Josh's grandparents as my mom steps in to play the diplomat.

Doctor Doyle steps up to the podium and calls for everyone's attention.

"This is it." Bella leans over and whispers as she squeezes my arm.

"Good evening. I would like to thank you all for coming out tonight. I welcome the extended St. Luc's family and would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for contributing to our hospital's continued success. Not just our staff, but their partners and families as well, for supporting them to do an often, difficult job. Tonight, we not only celebrate everything that we as a team have accomplished over the past twelve months, we also celebrate the appointment of a new Chief of Surgery. The position is one of the most prestigious in the medical field, and St. Luc's has had many respectable and brilliant doctors hold the position. This time is no different, this doctor has had some astounding achievements in his career, and we're honored to have him take up the role."

I glance over to Mike's table, and he's literally seething with animosity. Angela leans over to whisper to him, but he shrugs her off with a glare.

"Without further delay, I would like to present St. Lucien's new Chief of Surgery, Doctor Edward Masen Junior."

Applause resounds throughout the room as guests stand and clap enthusiastically. I feel my face heat slightly as I stand and hug each member of my family, and finally, I kiss Bella softly on the lips and make my way to the podium. I have to navigate my way past the Newtons' table and can't help meeting Mike's gaze. He scowls at me darkly and turns to address the person on the other side of him.

"Congratulations again, Doctor Masen."

"Thank you." I clear my throat as I wait for everyone to be seated.

"Thank you all so much." While I wait for the applause to die down, I look over to see my parents beaming back at me. I realize that they are positively and without a doubt, proud of me, and that's all I've ever wanted. The feeling fills me with a warm glow.

"First, I'd like to thank Doctor Doyle and the members of the Board for showing confidence in me by appointing me to this very important role. I vow to honor and uphold the reputation, not only of the position that I now hold, but also that of St. Luc's, this fine hospital that we are all a part of. I would like to acknowledge and thank my predecessors for having established our enviable surgical reputation; theirs are big shoes to fill. I will do everything possible to ensure that their efforts are not wasted. To St. Luc's surgical team, I want to say how honored I am to be given the opportunity to lead you. I want to assure you that I'm dedicated to working closely with each of you to maintain and improve our track record. And to my family, who are here to support me not only tonight, but have done every day of my life, in everything that I do, I love you all very much. Thank you. Dad, if I am half as good a Chief as you were, I will have surpassed my dream."

I look over and see my nephew, practically bouncing for me to mention his name.

"Also, thank you to my nephew, Josh, for being my special buddy. And who, by the way, will not be getting any cake if he does not eat his vegetables." I watch his eyes widen, and he immediately ducks his head into Jasper's lap in embarrassment when the entire room laughs.

"And last, but not least, I want to thank a very special person who has helped me to see when no one else could, that I'm worthy of all the blessings that I have in my life. Thank you, Bella."

She's surprised, but she can't contain that bright, beautiful smile. It's become abundantly clear to me how deeply I feel for her. I love her. She's everything I want my world to be, bright, beautiful and full of life.

"I could stand here and talk all night, but I would rather you continue to enjoy the evening; dance, drink champagne, just enjoy. Thank you everyone."

My family swarms around with congratulations once more. I finally turn and realize that Bella's not here, and I immediately worry that it was too soon for me to have drawn attention to our relationship so publicly.

"Where's Bella?" No one seems to know the answer.

.

.

.

The banquet hall rings with applause as Edward leaves the stage. I've never seen him look so happy. He slowly navigates his way back to the table, graciously stopping to acknowledge congratulations and shake hands every step of the way. I take the opportunity to slip away quietly as I feel somewhat overwhelmed by his very public acknowledgement of our relationship and need to clear my head.

I dampen a paper towel and gently pat my face, as I try to regain my composure. I stare at the wide-eyed woman in the mirror, "What is wrong with me?"

I don't know why his announcement has created such an unbalance of emotion in me. I've tried to convince myself that it's not a big deal. But the truth is, that it i_s_, he's acknowledged me to his peers, the people he works with, the entire Board of the hospital. To him it is a big deal,

He wanted everyone to know that I was special to him; he wanted _me_ to know that I was special. I could tell by the way he looked at me as he spoke, just how deeply he felt. And I feel it too, so why am I panicking?

I finally concede. The man in my life has just announced to his family and everyone he knows and respects professionally that I'm a special part of his life. I should be as happy as he is right now. I _am._

"I'm happy." I smile resolutely as I stare at myself in the mirror and prepare to return to Edward's side. I'm about to turn the door handle when I'm stopped a low, but clearly agitated argument.

The voices are muffled, but clear enough for me to discern what's being said. I release my hold on the handle, wanting to avoid an awkward meeting with the couple. I hope that they'll either resolve their dispute quickly or move it away from the entrance to the ladies room.

"God, I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you like this. Please forgive me," she pleads tearfully.

"You're disgusting, and I want nothing more to do with you! I suggest you leave and go home to pack up your belongings. I want you out the house by the end of the weekend!" An angry male responds.

I hear receding footsteps as someone storms off. I can still discern the sound of low sobs and consider, going out to see if I can help but sounds die down.

I push the door open cautiously and peek around it. The area, thankfully, is clear, I silently hope that they work things out.

"Hey…" Edward bumps into me as I turn the corner. "Where have you been? I've been looking all over."

"I had to use the ladies room. Is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine…well, I mean…is it?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"I just thought that…you left after my speech, and I thought I went too far."

He's as nervous about this as I am.

"I was a little surprised, but…."

"Wait, hold that thought." He grabs me by the hand and leads the way to the glass doors that lead onto the patio. Even this area has been elegantly dressed for the night's occasion, with twinkling lights, tubs of greenery and casual seating strategically placed.

"It'll be better if we discuss this out here in private."

He shuts the doors firmly and comes to stand in front of me. He looks deep into my eyes and my heart races in anticipation.

"As you were saying?"

"Oh, um…I was just going to say that I was a little surprised that you mentioned me so publicly."

"Did my doing that upset you?"

"No, no, it just caught me off guard, that's all."

"Good, I was afraid that I'd chased you away. Although, the way I feel about you shouldn't be news to you…or maybe it is…" His voice trails off as he nervously rubs the back of his neck. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper and hands it me.

"What's this?"

"It's the start of our future. That is, if you want one with me."

I unfold the paper; it doesn't take long for me to realize what it is. I look up to see him watching me intently.

"Your divorce is final."

"Yes."

"This is um…good news."

"Yes, it is, Bella. But, it becomes so much more than good news in that it paves the way for us to us have a future together. The possibility of _that_, takes what is good news to unbelievable news, and happiness I had never expected to find."

His words, spoken with such sincerity and the storm of emotions I see in his eyes stir something deep within me. He looks hopeful, nervous and afraid, an echo of everything I feel. I launch myself at him. We kiss passionately, forgetting that there are hundreds of people just beyond where we are, celebrating an event, which is partially in his honor.

"Is that a yes?" he murmurs against my lips.

"Yes, I'd like a future with you, Edward."

He gently cups my face and deepens the kiss.

"_Well,_ isn't this cozy."

.

.

.

Leave it to Newton to put a damper on my happiness. I should have known that at some point this evening he would find an opportunity to mar a perfect occasion.

He's holding a drink in one hand and glaring at us belligerently.

"Do you have a problem, Mike?"

"I'll say. You know, I can't for the life of me, understand how guys like you always finish on top." He scratches his head mockingly. "I mean, here I am, a good, respectable man, who does everything by the book and never gets rewarded for it; and there you are, a jerk who lies and cheats his way to everything and gets it all."

"Sounds like jealousy to me, Mike, and I didn't lie or cheat my way to becoming a surgeon."

"Fuck you, Masen."

"Edward, let's just go. He's obviously upset about something."

"Wow, you even have my therapist defending you now! And I can't even believe the two of you are a couple! How the fuck did that happen, Doctor Swan? I mean, surely you know what kind of man you're dating?"

"Edward?" Bella ignores him and motions to me, but I don't budge. I've really had it with his attitude and now he's turning it on Bella.

"Don't fucking address her again, Mike. Whatever issue you have with me, you deal with me, but don't ever address her again."

"Oh, get off your white horse, Edward. She's not some damsel in distress. In fact, she's a highly recommended marriage therapist, although she couldn't manage to do shit with my marriage," he spits out acidly then swallows the contents in his glass in one gulp.

"I'm warning you, Mike."

"Tell me something, Doctor Swan. How long have you known that my wife was having an affair?"

My eyes dart between the pair of them, and Bella steps forward.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss any information that your wife may've given me during a private therapy session, Doctor Newton. You know that."

"Such a typical shrink thing to say, and what a fucking copout." He snorts.

"Actually, Doctor Newton, you should understand doctor-patient confidentiality. Or do you not adhere to this basic principal of our profession?"

"Don't compare what you do with what I do, Doctor Swan. I save people's lives, what exactly is it that you achieve again?"

"Alright, that's it." I move toward him, but Angela barges in, crying uncontrollably.

This is about to go from bad to worse.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 41

The tension in the air is so thick it could be cut with a knife. My eyes rest on a distraught Angela, confusion, distress and guilt clearly written across her face, as she stares wide-eyed at the three of us. I pray that she doesn't decide to turn this into a confessional and stoke an already smoldering fire. I don't even want to imagine what Bella is thinking or feeling right now. I hate that my past always seems to find a way to slap us in the face. For me it's karma, but Bella doesn't deserve any of this.

"Well, the gang's all here." Mike snidely breaks the silence.

"Mike, please let's go home and talk about this." Angela tries pulling him by his arm, but he angrily shrugs her off.

"Don't touch me, you slut, and there is no home, you put paid to that. As I said, you have until the end of the weekend to pack what you came with and leave. That gives you a little over twenty-four hours."

He gives her a little shove toward me, fixing us both with a look of loathing. "You know, you two deserve each other, you're both..."

"Mike, stop it!" She steps away from me. "It's not his fault. He didn't force me into anything."

_Fuck!_

His eyes narrow as he stares first at her and then me. I close my eyes and shake my head in exasperation.

"What the fuck do you mean, he didn't force you?"

"I–I…"

"Son of a Bitch! It all makes sense now."

Angela's eyes widen in horror. I don't comment; I'm not about to contribute to a scene with the entire Board, most of the hospital staff and my family just a room away. What would they think? What would everyone think? All I can do now, is to try and undo the damage Angela's done.

"Newton, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. You and your wife need to resolve your marital problems in private. I've had enough of this nonsense. Bella?" I reach for her hand, and she quickly accepts. He steps around Bella and pokes me in the chest.

"Do you think I'm stupid? God, I can't believe I didn't see this before! All those suggestive comments about her, it's you, isn't it? You're the one she's cheating on me with!" His voice keeps getting louder and louder, and if he keeps this up, people inside are going to get wind of what's going on.

"Come on, Masen. Here's your chance to really show me up." He steps closer, our faces inches apart as he sneers. "Don't be a fucking coward. Look me in the eye and admit that you're fucking my wife."

I don't respond, I can't; not because I'm afraid of him, but because I don't want to upset Bella any further. She's had enough humiliation for one night. I already feel guilty about what Angela's going through now. Yes, she was a willing party, but from what I've just learned, Mike is threatening to throw her out of their home.

"What are you waiting for, Masen? You have the promotion, which should have been mine. You have the good Doctor Swan on your arm. Who would have thought that she'd be into your type of shit? Why not add my wife to the list? Be a man, 'fess up! This is the shit you live for; to win at any cost."

My resolve is slipping, and Bella senses it. I feel her close behind me as she slips her hand into mine, trying to calm me. "Don't let him do this. He's upset, and he's been drinking. He's not thinking clearly."

I need to get us out of here, but Mike steps even closer, his stance threatening not only me, but Bella.

"Get out of my face, Newton, or you'll be having a different set of problems."

"Edward, come on. Let's go." Bella tries again.

"I thought a guy like you would want to be the one in control, Masen. What's wrong, can't keep your woman in check?"

"I'm going to let that slide because you're angry and obviously having marital problems."

"Did you fuck my wife? It's a simple question, _yes or no_?" Again, he pokes at my chest. It's obvious that he's not going to let this rest without some kind of response from me.

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, Mike," I snap, practically growling in his face. I'm not sure whether he expected this quasi admission or not. Perhaps he was holding out some hope that he might be wrong. I watch as his eyes widen wildly as realization sets in. His arm draws back, and I quickly move Bella behind me.

His fist hurtles toward my face, and I dodge it effortlessly. The momentum sends him toppling onto the floor. He scrambles to his feet and attempts another punch and another, missing me each time. His alcohol consumption has obviously adversely affected him, turning his actions into something that mirrors a slapstick bar room brawl.

"Mike, stop it!" Angela jumps in front of him and grabs his arm.

"Oh nice, protecting your lover. Take your hands off me, you make me _sick_!" He pulls away from her, and she tries desperately to hold onto him, pleading for him to forgive her. She loses her footing and falls to her hands and knees.

I feel like complete shit as look I down at her sobbing on the floor. I move to comfort and help her up, but Bella beats me to it.

"Doctor Swan, I've done as you said and told him about having an affair, but it's all turned into a fiasco. I wanted to get everything out in the open, but now he loathes me. I thought when he insisted that I attend this function with him that he was coming around, but he only wanted to keep up appearances for the Board. He hasn't changed his mind, and now I've lost him."

_An affair? _ I contemplate interjecting. We got together a couple of times for hard and hurried sex. I'd hardly call what happened between us an affair, but I decide to not challenge her. At this point, it would do more damage than good.

"Angela, here, let me help you up. Everything is going to be all right."

"The hell it is! You knew about this?" Mike storms over to them. They look shocked at his change of attack, which he now directs squarely at Bella.

"My money paid for you to provide us _both _with counseling, and you knew about her sleeping around behind my back with _him_? You gave no thought to me in the matter. And now you're dating _him_?" He jabs a thumb over his shoulder in my direction, as he practically spits at Bella. "You're just as sick and twisted as they are!"

"Bella, you might want to take Angela to get freshened up."

I sense that Mike and I are going to have to hash this out on our own, and it's not going to be pretty. I'm a bit shocked to learn that Bella was or is their therapist, and I momentarily cringe at the thought that she may know the sordid details of my liaisons with Angela. God, what she must've had to sit through, but I can't delve into that now. I need to spare her from any further involvement in a mess of my making.

"No, I'm not leaving you here alone with him. I don't trust that he can control himself in his condition, and that you won't react. Edward, think about your repu–"

"Look at them, protecting you like a harem of sluts!"

I smash my fist into his jaw, and blood pours from his mouth.

"Oh my God!" Bella and Angela both scream.

"Son of a bitch!" He spits out a string of invectives and holds his mouth. I wait for his retaliation, which doesn't come. He glares at the three of us, the look in his eyes promising retribution.

He stalks away, and I exhale sharply. I briefly examine my knuckles and flex my fingers; thankfully, I appear to not have damaged it. I turn my attention to Bella and Angela, who's a sniveling wreck. I can tell by Bella's demeanor that she's not too happy with me for hitting Mike, but what was I supposed to do, continue to let him insult her?

"How is she?"

"She's a mess, Edward. I'm going to take her the ladies' room so she can clean up." She puts an arm around Angela and leads her away.

This is a disaster, and I really don't know how to fix it at this point. Lord only knows what Mike's saying to anyone who'll listen to him. Bella's taking care of Angela, so I decide to see how much damage he's already done.

I straighten my jacket and take a deep breath before reentering the banquet hall. I scan the room, but can't see any sign of Mike. My father and brother approach me, both looking worried.

"What the hell's going on, man? You're the guest of honor, and you've been missing for damned near thirty minutes."

"Is Bella all right, Son?"

"She's fine. She's in the ladies' room. Everything's fine." I respond absentmindedly as I catch a glimpse of Mike talking with Doctor Doyle.

_That can't be good._

I watch to see if I can discern anything from Doyle's body language, but his back is turned to me.

"Edward?"

"What?" I'm completely oblivious to what my father has been saying.

"You're on another planet. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, I just need to have a word with Doctor Newton and Doctor Doyle. Excuse me." I abruptly leave my father and brother and cautiously approach the two men. Mike glances at me, and Doyle's eyes follow his line of vision to see me make my way to them.

_I bet he's squealing like a pig._

"Here he is, the man of the hour!" Mike feigns excitement. "You know, Doctor Masen, I was just telling Doctor Doyle that I went out to the patio to congratulate you."

"Is that right?" I smile tightly and try to maintain my composure. The bastard is baiting me, and there's not a damned thing I can do about it in front of Doyle.

"Yes, he was. I know the two of you are both competitive, but the pair of you epitomize the excellence we're so proud of at St. Luc's. Mike was just telling me how much he admires you." Doyle laughs lightheartedly, while Newton regards me with a snide smile.

"Well, I appreciate that, Mike. Although, I believe your admiration is more clearly and rightfully directed toward my father."

"Doctor Masen Senior is one tough act to follow, but_ you?_ _You _haveit all, Edward; brains, wealth, looks, and as I hear, women clamoring after you. You've landed the most prestigious surgical role in the best hospital in the state. You have a gorgeous new woman on your arm. What did you say her name was again?"

I glare at him witheringly. He's clearly hell bent on dragging Bella into this mess, and he's pushing me to the limit by doing so.

"You know what her name is, Doctor Newton." My voice is low, with subdued of warning. I don't want to alert Doyle to what's really going on. Mike will keep.

"She _is _beautiful, Doctor Masen. I would love to meet…."

"Isabella. Her name's Isabella, and I would be happy to introduce you, Doctor Doyle."

"Oh right," Mike snaps his fingers dramatically. "Isabella Swan, she's a marriage therapist. One of the best in her field, I hear. How did you two meet?"

I can feel my nostrils flare and my jaw clench. Mike is about to get his ass handed to him, and I no longer give a fuck about how it will ruin the night or my reputation. He's throwing down the gauntlet, subtly threatening Bella and trying to raise Doyle's suspicions about my conduct.

"I can't wait to meet her, Masen. I'll see the two of you gentlemen later. Mike, it looks like you have a little lipstick or something on your collar." He gestures to the tiny bloodstain on his shirt and walks away with a polite smile. I wait until he's out of earshot.

"If you think about doing anything to harm Bella, I'll destroy you."

"The only person who's going to end up destroyed is you, Masen. No, I take that back. Any woman who aligns herself with you sets herself up for destruction. Poor Doctor Swan, you'll ruin her just like you've ruined every woman you've come into contact with; your wife, my wife, and who knows how many other wives, including those of colleagues, and other strange women you've fucked. I won't have to do a thing. I won't have to lift a fucking finger, Masen." He backs away, pointing at me and smiling wickedly.

.

.

.

We drive in silence. She hasn't said a word since returning from helping Angela. I ask repeatedly whether everything is all right, and she simply nods her head each time. When Bella is as quiet as this, it either means that she is so incensed that she can't trust herself to speak, or that she is deeply worried about something.

"Will you say something?"

"It was a great night for you, considering…." She exhales before her voice trails off. I glance at her, and she's staring blankly out of the side window.

"Considering what, that Newton ruined it?"

"His actions were understandable."

"I can't believe what I'm fucking hearing. Mike Newton goes out of his way to ruin my night, insult you and his wife. He taunts me about it and demeans our relationship, and you say his actions were justified?"

"I didn't say justified, I said they were understandable. He recently found out that his wife was unfaithful, and tonight, he learns that it was with none other than the person he's been competing with for years, Edward. He feels like he's lost everything. I can sympathize with how he's feeling, that's all."

I'm pissed off that she's defending him, especially his attacks on her, but what do I say to that? I do see her point, and I know what it feels like to feel that sense of loss and humiliation, but I cannot condone his veiled threats toward Bella. I don't want to escalate our disagreement, so don't respond.

We pull up outside my house, and I step out. She doesn't wait for me to open the door for her. I follow her, unlock the front door and wait until she enters. Still not uttering a word, she disappears upstairs, I assume to change out of her dress. I give in to my frustration and pick up a wine bottle and smash it to the floor.

"How the fuck is this my fault?"

I flop down onto the sofa and undo my bowtie. She reemerges in one of my t- shirts and shakes her head at the mess I've created.

"Do you feel better now that you've smashed something?"

"I'll feel better once someone, _namely you_, explains to me how tonight's ordeal is my damned fault."

"_That _is how you're at fault, Edward!" She points to the broken bottle, and I frown.

"A broken bottle of wine?"

"No, your temper. You can't resort to fighting to resolve your problems, Edward. Every time there's a confrontational situation, you make it worse by fighting or attempting to fight."

"He insulted you. He had it coming."

"He was upset, and rightfully so! You didn't have to go toe to toe with him. Fighting solves nothing." She heads for the fridge and grabs a bottle of water.

"You're not dating a boy scout, Bella. I can't just turn the other cheek."

"No, it doesn't seem that you can, and that creates problems for you. Think about it. Jake challenged you, and the first thing you did, was square off. It made him want to retaliate. You did the same thing with Mike tonight, and it actually turned to physical violence. I know he threw the first punch, but you could have walked away, Edward. And now, God only knows what he's going to do next. Let's not forget what happened when you beat up James."

I can't believe she's brought this up now. No one understands the ramifications of James's thirst for revenge better than I do.

"I wanted to protect you, Bella."

"Protect me from what?" She throws up her hands in despair.

"From anyone who tries to bring harm to you. I won't let _anyone_ hurt you, ever. You're my life now, don't you get that?"

She just stares at me, but something in her eyes worries me. I can't discern whether it's despair or trepidation. The happiness that shone in her eyes early tonight is gone. It's been replaced with some emotion I can't place. The only emotions I can now sense are my ever-present fear of losing her, and her lack of trust and certainty in what we have.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" She asks in a near whisper.

"Like you're having second thoughts about me."

She turns and quietly walks back upstairs.

.

.

.

I lie awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to her breathings softly next to me. I hate not being able to touch her; it feels like the worst punishment. It's like dangling a piece of meat in front of a tiger and keeping it just out of his reach.

"Are you going to hold me or not?" She whispers groggily.

"I thought you were asleep and angry at me?"

"You frustrate me. I realize I'm probably going to be dealing with that as for the rest of my life, but I'm not angry."

I turn to look at her; she still has her back turned, and she's lying on her side. I inch over and wrap my arms around her tightly.

"The rest of your life, huh?"

"It's amazing how that's the only thing you heard." she laughs lightly.

"I hear everything you say. I only pay attention to the important things." I take a deep breath and sigh, "tonight turned into a disaster. I'm sorry."

"You couldn't have known it was going to end the way it did."

"I should have. Whether Mike found out about Angela and me or not, I should have known that he'd find a way to destroy the evening for me."

"He was bound to find out one way or another, Edward. The truth always has a way of coming to light."

I mull over what she's saying, and she's absolutely right.

"So, Angela told you about us." I already know the answer, and despite my distaste at the idea of her knowing all the sordid details, I don't want this to fester between us. I need to give her the opportunity to address the matter with me. I have too much to lose, and if she's bothered about any of it in any way, I need to reassure her.

"I can't answer that for reasons you already know, but I'm not in the dark. That's all I'm going to say."

"What I _should_ know, is that my stupid mistakes will always come back to bite me in the ass. I'm so sorry, Bella, that you have to keep confronting my abhorrent past."

"It's a cute ass."

I turn her over so I can look into her eyes.

"I'm being serious. Tonight, before things went to hell in a handbasket, I wanted to ask you something important."

"Ask me now."

"The set up isn't quite the same."

"I can always put the dress back on and…."

I roll my eyes at her dry humor, as I climb out of bed to retrieve the box from my trousers.

I crawl back over the top of her, and with the black velvet box in the palm of my hand, I hold it up to her sight.

"Oh, Shit!" Her eyes widen as she dramatically clutches at her throat, and I laugh.

"It's not _that. _ You can put those beautiful amber eyes back in your head, Bella."

"Oh," she chuckles nervously and reaches for the box. "What is it?"

I snap my fingers shut around it and pull it away from her. "I don't know. I'm a little disturbed and somewhat offended by your initial reaction." I clutch at my heart, mocking despair.

"Shut up and give me the damned box, Edward. What would any woman think? Her boyfriend presents her with a little velvet box; says it's important?"

"I guess you're right." I hand it to her and watch as she eagerly opens it. She pulls out the shiny silver item and holds it aloft.

"It's a key."

"It is."

"To what?"

"To my home, my heart, everything. Move in with me, Bella.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 42

_A week._

All I can think about is that it's been a week. A week since I assumed the role Chief of Surgery, a week since the disaster of the banquet dinner. More frustrating for me is the fact that it's been a week since I asked Bella to move in, and I've yet to receive a response.

I berate myself for the way I went about it.

_Fuck!_ _The timing was all wrong._

I should have waited until the fiasco of the banquet was well behind us, I should have chosen a more romantic way of doing it. I'm such an ass. I've let my own desire to cement our relationship override my common sense.

Who the am I kidding? After the debacle with Newton and Angela, I wouldn't blame her if she ran off screaming into the night, let alone move in with me. For some reason, I expected a different reaction. I anticipated surprise, hoped for excitement, what I did not foresee was a withdrawal. Bella being reserved concerns me, it's a sure sign of her worrying about something, and that just adds to my obsession over the time it's taking her to respond.

With difficulty, I turn my attention back to my itinerary. I'm expected to attend a two-day intensive seminar on new surgical techniques. The event will spill over into a full weekend with attendees taking the opportunity to network with colleagues and medical staff from interstate. The leisure time is planned to be pretty casual with no organized events. I contemplate asking Bella to accompany me; I'd really like her to be there, but I realize that Newton will be attending, and I'm not too sure how he'd behave. I decide to think on it; I have all day to decide what to do.

This is the first week of our new working relationship. We've been cordial and professional and have both worked hard to not have our personal issues jeopardize patient care and outcomes. Despite our long-standing animosity, neither of us would allow petty bickering to interfere with doing our jobs, but I have no doubt that at some point, we'd be revisiting the issue of his wife's infidelity.

I place the itinerary in my lab coat pocket and prepare to do midday rounds.

I stop off at the nurse's station to collect my patient charts. Newton is there, talking softly, yet animatedly into his phone. He glances up, and his demeanor changes the instant he sees me and hurriedly ends the call.

He moves around to the other side of the desk to stand and review charts alongside of me. His response at seeing me seemed to be one of caution, and I'm sure I detected an imperceptible smug smile as he finished the call. My curiosity is peaked.

"Everything all right, Doctor Newton?" I question without lifting my eyes from the chart in front of me.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Doctor Masen," he says snidely as he enters something into his Blackberry and walks away.

"Just checking," I mumble under my breath and gather up a couple of charts, before I make my way down the corridor.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be on rounds, Jess."

.

.

I stare at the key until it becomes just a blurred, shiny object. My preoccupation distracts me from where my attention should be directed, on my patients, the Vankirk's.

I blink my eyes slowly to clear my head. Since the banquet, I've been overwhelmed with conflicting thoughts of Edward and his proposal for us to cohabit. God, please don't let me think of the banquet again! For a week now, it's felt like I've been trying to find my way out of a complex maze, and I'm no closer to finding my way out than when he first asked. I bring my focus back to the Vankirk's with a concerted effort.

She's in her early forties, and he's nearing fifty. They've been in therapy with me longer than any of my other patients, and I confess to having a soft spot for them.

They were born into wealthy families, fell in love and married at a young age. They have five children; the youngest is only seven years old, and they refer to her as their miracle baby.

The Vankirk's marital situation is probably one of the most common that a marriage therapist encounters, that of irreconcilable differences.

"Doctor Swan, we want to thank you for everything you've done for us." Mrs. Vankirk reaches across the table and places her hand on mine. "When we met you, we had briefly lost ourselves, and you've helped us to find our way and set us back on course. During our sessions, you've helped us to discover what it is that we want, not only as a couple, but also as individuals. After much discussion and by using the techniques you've taught us, we've reached a mutual understanding that we want different things. In discovering that we still have love for each other, we've also realized that we love deeply enough to want the other to be truly happy. Shaun and I have decided that at this point in our lives, we would be happier if we went our separate ways."

As a professional, I'm trained to not let my emotions surface, but I just can't seem to suppress my shock. The Vankirk's are the last couple that I thought would separate. They've been ideal patients, both wanting to find a way through their problems, honest and caring with each other. They've attended every therapy session as a couple, never missing an appointment, and each time they left, it was as a united front, committed to making the changes for their marriage to work. To say that I'm disappointed professionally and for them personally would be an understatement; I'm saddened.

"I apologize for my reaction. I'm...I'm just a little…"

"Surprised? We can see that, Doctor Swan." Shaun smiles warmly, and I glance over to his wife, dismay still evident on my face. They share an affectionate look and link hands.

I'm more confused than ever. Never in my time as a therapist, have I experienced a couple facing the end of their marriage so calmly and seemingly content with each other. I've witnessed anger, bitterness, resolve and quiet dignity, but never this mood of deep affection and contentment.

"But it's obvious that the two of you still love each other. I don't quite understand why you've taken such a drastic step, why not keep working on finding common ground?"

"We _do_ love each other, Dr. Swan, very much. That love has lasted for over twenty-five years, but we've realized that we want different things now. We'd be asking the other to sacrifice too much personally if we remained together. We have five beautiful kids, and we're committed to continue co-parenting, despite being divorced," she says with heart-felt honesty.

"Of course, you will, Mrs. Vankirk. Joanna, Shaun, please forgive me if you feel I'm not being supportive or accepting of your decision, I merely want to ensure that you are not being too hasty. I don't mean to…."

"Doctor Swan, no apologies. You've helped us in so many ways. We owe you a great deal. We've just realized that even though we love each other, it doesn't mean that we are meant to be together." I fight to contain the lump forming in my throat, but thankfully, do not show them the extent of my feelings.

"And we don't regret, nor would we change the years we've spent together because of the wonderful family we've created, but sometimes we wonder what the outcome would have been if we had not rushed and moved in together all those years ago. "He turns to his wife and brushes away her tears. I quickly pluck a tissue from the dispenser and hand it to her and fight to hide my own distress.

"I'm sorry." My voice sounds throaty. "I'm generally not affected this much, but I had truly hoped that you two would go on to have another twenty-five years of married happiness."

"Please, stop apologizing. It shows how much you care about your patients. We will forever be grateful to you, Doctor Swan. We may not have saved our marriage, but you have helped both of us to grow and to gain a better understanding of what true commitment to a relationship means. We're still committed to our relationship, but to the one that transcends marriage, that of being parents to wonderful children." They stand, and I see them to the door.

"Thank you, Doctor Swan." They hug and kiss me on the cheek before leaving my office for the final time.

I close the door behind me and lean up against it, taking a deep breath_._

Just when you think you've made a difference, and that at the end of the day you've helped a couple to find happiness together, life throws you for a loop. For some reason, the end of the Vankirk's' marriage impacts me deeply. I find it hard to find any solace in the fact, that despite not being able to help save their marriage, that I played a small part in them attaining personal happiness. I can't help but think that if two people who so obviously love each other can't make a relationship work, what hope does anyone else have?

My eyes settle on the silver object. I pick it up, wrapping it tightly in my fist. I gather my handbag and cardigan, lock my office and let Leah know that I'll be out for the rest of the day.

.

.

.

I turn up the volume on the car radio, loud enough I hope, to drown out unwanted thoughts, but I can't seem to get my mind off Edward. My heart wants one thing, but my head is telling me another.

"It's just a key. I mean it's not like it's a ring." I laugh dryly.

I know logically that this would be the natural progression in a serious relationship. It makes sense to live under the same roof to really get to know each other, learn the other's habits and quirks, see what you love and what you can tolerate; argue and make up. And if you can't reconcile your differences, decide whether there's a future or not. 

The Vankirk's words weigh heavily on my mind, as I pull into a parking space and switch off the engine. I retrieve the key from the glove box and leave the car. I smooth my skirt, square my shoulders and walk up to the glass doors.

.

.

.

"Okay, what game are we playing?" She frowns as I place the key on her desk in front of her.

"It's a key, Rosalie."

"I can see that." She arches a brow sardonically.

"Sometimes, I wonder how it is that we're friends instead of enemies." I roll my eyes. "It's a key to Edward's home, as in he wants me to move in with him."

She shrugs. "So, move in with him."

"Rosalie!"

"What? I don't get what the problem is here, Bella. You've obviously already made the decision to be with this man. Yes, it started off kind of sleazily." She takes in my outraged expression and my ready protest, but she quickly cuts in, "…but the two of you are like no two people I've ever seen. When I watch you together, it's obvious that you're just meant to be."

I lean back in the chair and exhale sharply.

"Bella, I know that Edward is not an easy man to be with, but you knew that from the moment you accepted him as a patient, and you knew even more about his past when you made the decision to get involved with him. Now, I'm not trying to put everything off onto you, but we all make choices, and you chose him. What's happened to make you doubt yourself now?"

"I place a key on your desk, and you conclude that I have doubts about my relationship with Edward?"

"You wouldn't be sitting in my office at one in the afternoon if you just wanted me to tell you how pretty and shiny the key is, Bella. You're not the only one clinically cleared to understand the working of people's minds." She taps on the gold plaque on her desk.

"Okay, hypothetically…"

She rolls her eyes with a huff.

"Okay fine, without getting into _every _detail, there was a situation at St. Luc's banquet. Let's just say one of his old 'conquests' popped up."

"You mean one of the attendees at the banquet he used to bang was there," she corrects me.

"Jesus, Rose, can't you ever just listen and not analyze." I stand up in frustration and pace around her office.

"Okay, hypothetically…wait why do we have to do this anyway? Edward is no longer your patient. Unless…." She studies me pointedly, but I don't say a word.

"Either this conquest dates back to when you were still bound by doctor/patient confidentiality, or the conquest is actually your patient. Damn, I'm good!" She pounds on her desk, as she assumes that she's right in her assumption.

"Maybe you've missed your calling. Psychic suits you better," I scoff.

"Does that mean I'm right?"

"You know I can't answer that, Rose. The point I'm trying to make is that one of these _women_ reared their ugly head, and it wasn't an isolated incident. I'm willing to bet that it won't be the last, and now he's asked me to move in with him."

"Are you bothered by Edward's past, Bella?"

I run a hand through my hair and exhale. "I wasn't at first, but now…"

"Now?"

I look at her, still unsure of what I feel, and she waits patiently with her fingers tented.

"Rose, he's amazing, and I love being with him. He frustrates me to no end, and yet I can't imagine my life without him; but I'm becoming this _person_…. a jealous girlfriend."

"That's understandable. You're not dating someone who's been a monk."

"You sound like him."

"Look, Bella, Edward is an exceptional man for many reasons, and the fact that he overcame what happened to him without completely losing himself or doing something criminal, is miraculous," she says matter-of-factly and begins flipping through a file.

"The point you're making hardly excuses his behavior, Rose. So, it's okay for him to just leave a trail of broken hearts and ruined marriages in his wake, while justifying his actions with the excuse that it was his way of dealing with what happened to him?"

"What _happened_ to him? Bella, he was unknowingly _drugged and raped_, by a woman he then felt duty-bound to marry. He did that, Bella, because he wanted to do the right thing by her and a child he believed to be his. I can't imagine the humiliation he must have felt having to deal with that for all those years, and then to find out all the other garbage that she pulled. I think I would've snapped. Yes, Edward dealt with the sexual assault and being deceived in a bad way, but all of those women were willing participants. They had the choice to say no, just like you had the choice not to get involved with him, but now here you are."

"Thanks for being my friend and not berating me like a child, Rosalie," I bite out sarcastically, but I also feel a tinge of betrayal. I'm a bit hurt and ticked off that she doesn't understand what I'm going through.

"You misunderstand me. I'm simply saying that you are a confident, strong woman who didn't put up with Jake's shit, and you didn't pull any punches with Edward either. You have to take responsibility for this, Bella. From what I can gather, Edward has never painted himself as a saint, no matter how beautiful the picture looked. He never hid himself. It was always up to you, what you could handle; and you chose him. Out of this mess, the two of you found something special together. Edward is in love with you, Bella, and the fact that you haven't said that you love him speaks volumes."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, I know it's probably hard to admit it to him, but you haven't said it, even to me. Maybe you already know the answer to the question you came here to get insight on. Maybe you've already made your decision."

I mull over her words, and I know that she's right. I mentally applaud her reverse psychology tactic. She knows it's the only way to effectively get through to me, to get me to really think things through.

"Thank you, Doctor Hale. You're the best." I walk around her desk and kiss her cheek before hurrying out.

"You forgot your key!"

I run back in as she tosses it, and I catch it in mid-air. "I'll call you later.

"Tell Edward I said hi."

"Will do."

.

.

.

"I have a business trip scheduled for next weekend. Come with me." He kisses my lips as he crouches over me, tiny water droplets drip from his hair, tickling my face. We've just made love, and he's fresh out of the shower.

"I can't. I have a full schedule all of next week, I don't have the time to prepare for a trip at such short notice."

"That's why you have a receptionist, Sweetheart."

"I can't go, Edward. Rain check?"

"Absolutely," he whispers against my lips and kisses me deeply.

He reluctantly pulls away and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

"It's been a week."

"Pardon me?"

"It's been a week since I asked you to move in with me. Should I be worried?" He turns those intense, stormy eyes on me, and I feel like a suspect in an interrogation room.

"No, there's no reason to be worried." I smile reassuringly. "I just need a little time to think about things. Moving in with you is a big step...life altering. I just want to think about the pros and cons thoroughly."

"Pros and Cons? I don't snore. I always make sure the cap is on the toothpaste and to flip the toilet seat back down. What more do you need to know?"

"If only it came down to toilet seats and toothpaste." I laugh and ruffle his damp hair.

"I'm serious. What do I need to do to get you to say yes, Bella?"

"You don't have to do anything. I just want time to think about your offer."

"All right. Time it is." He turns off the bedside light, and we snuggle into the covers, wrapped around each other.

"How much time?"

I giggle at his persistence and kiss his chest. "I'll have an answer for you when you come back from your trip next weekend. Will that do, Doctor?"

"Yep, sounds perfect to me." He kisses my forehead and drifts off in no time.

I'm a little surprised that he just let it go so easily. He's really proving to be a changed man and yes, I do love him.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 43

"Edward?" I reach out in the dark. His side of the bed is empty and cold. I'm not overly surprised; I've woken on many occasions to an empty space beside me. He often doesn't sleep through the night. His broken sleep pattern could be due to being on call so often, but as a therapist and his girlfriend, I feel it stems from something deeper.

I don't force the issue like I would have in the past, now I only discuss things of this nature when he broaches the subject. I've learned to listen without questioning; he is no longer my patient, after all.

I know that he thinks about his past a lot. He obsesses over what Lauren did to him and how things could have been different if that part of his life had never happened. Even though I agree that what she did was heinous, I also must privately acknowledge that if it weren't for her, _we_ would never be. Not that I would ever admit that out loud, I could never utter something so blatantly insensitive, despite it being so obviously true.

Unbeknownst to him, I've watched him, on those nights that he cannot sleep; when he sits at the window and peers out into the dark. On others I've discovered that he works at his laptop in his newly decorated home office. And given his lack of presence in bed with me or at the window now, I assume that's where he is.

I use the bathroom then make my way to him. The diffused light and rhythmic tapping emanating from the end of the hall lead me to where he's busying himself. It takes moments before he notices me watching him from the doorway. My eyes follow his as they glance at the clock on the wall.

"It's four a.m., couldn't sleep?" His thickened voice signaling his tiredness still holds its seductive, velvet tone.

"I could ask you the same."

"Well, you know me," he smiles weakly, closes his laptop and rubs his eyes before turning their intense green on me. "What's your excuse?"

"You were gone." I respond without hesitation. "I've grown comfortable sleeping next to you. It feels strange when you're not there."

"Is this the lead-in to my long, awaited answer?" He narrows his eyes playfully, then he turns serious. I shake my head at his sneaky persistence.

"Have you ever made love on a desk?" I tug at the belt on my robe, revealing my semi-nude form.

"You must forget who you're speaking to." His eyes sparkle, and he smirks as I saunter toward him.

"How about in a reclining, leather chair?" My robe sinks to the floor in a pool of black satin. He leans back and silently motions for me to come to him. He's shirtless, wearing only deep navy silk pajama bottoms.

"We've come full circle," he jokingly references his early, outrageous sexual overture.

"It seems so. The only difference is…we _both_ want it now," I whisper seductively.

I slide in front of him as he pushes away from the desk and perch myself on the edge. His eyes are filled with lust, his arousal obvious through the delicate silk. He sensually caresses my legs from calf to thigh; those talented hands that heal and save lives are the same hands that make my body tremble with want every time he touches me.

Our eyes lock, and I gasp as he spreads my legs and stands before me. One hand slips into my panties to tease me, the other reaches in to reveal his erection. Our eyes remain locked, but in my periphery, I catch glimpses of the veins and muscles flexing in his bicep as he slowly strokes himself. My desire for him spikes at the sight of this simple movement, everything about his man seems to deepen my normal responses. He's so erotic at times; I can barely stand it. My breathing spikes as I anticipate him entering me.

His finger swirls and teases, leaving me wet and wanton. I grip the edge of the desk until my knuckles hurt, and I'm no longer able to hold his gaze. My head falls back as I pant heavily. His finger enters me, and I cry out in ecstasy when he moves it inside me. I latch my hand tightly onto his wrist, demanding that he doesn't stop. I wantonly grind against his hand, and I feel his teeth nip at my breast. It elicits a gasp of pleasure from me, and he groans deeply in response. He pulls away, and his hand grips the side of my panties and winds around it gently. My eyes return to his as the fabric strains. The pain biting into my flesh is minimal and brief, as it gives way with a final resounding rip.

He grabs the back of my neck, pulling me to him and kisses me passionately; his tongue enters my mouth as his hardness enters my throbbing, drenched heat.

We swallow each other's moans as he reclines us back onto the desk and moves inside of me. His strokes are strong and deep, the pace measured and sure. I feel every penetrating stroke from head to toe. Sex has never felt better. Clawing at the taut muscles in his ass, I guide him in and out. His satisfied chuckle against my lips tells me that he loves it, and he continues his relentless, sensual assault on my body. I feel the tingle start at my toes and move up, through every part of me. As my internal muscles start to spasm around him, he kisses me deeply then raises his head to look directly into my eyes. His gaze is so intense, a storm of emotions racing across the turbulent green. Our panting picks up as he increases his pace and rolls his hips. His velvety voice is hoarse as he whispers that he's close and tells me to come with him. We come together, long and hard, our bodies quivering as we cling to each other, seemingly speaking words, that so far, remain unsaid.

We lay sprawled on the carpet, sexually exhausted. He lazily scratches my scalp, nearly lulling me to sleep.

"What time does your flight leave?"

"Eleven-thirty. Are you sure you won't change your mind and come with me?"

I turn my head to see him watching me. I trace his bottom lip, and he kisses my finger.

"Next time, I promise."

"I'm going to hold you to that, along with your promise of a response to moving in with me."

"No pressure." I joke, but he turns serious.

"There's no pressure, Bella, but…." He gets to his feet and agitatedly runs his hands through his hair.

"But what?" I sit up and watch him pull on his pants; even in this tense moment I can't help but admire his beauty. He takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I don't understand. I mean, I get why you're a bit cautious about taking such a serious step with me, but what I don't understand is the timeline you've set to give me an answer. You've already had more than a week to think about it, what possible difference can two days make?"

"I thought you were okay with giving me time, Edward?"

"Time I'm okay with, but I think it's more than that. I've been thinking about not only your hesitation but also your reaction. The look in your eyes when I asked you to move in with me, it's the same look I witnessed when Victoria showed up unannounced, and it's the same look I witnessed when Angela broke down at the banquet."

"And what look is that, Edward?"

"Fear."

"I'm not afraid." I look around for my discarded clothing.

"Bullshit. You couldn't even look me in the eye when you said that." He grabs hold of my shoulders, forcing me to look at him.

"Where the hell is all this coming from? A few days ago you were fine with giving me time, and tonight seemed perfect up until now."

"You think I couldn't see past the little seduction routine? Have you truly forgotten who you're dealing with, Bella?"

"I obviously must have; you're the master of seduction and getting whatever you want at any cost, right? Although, I thought you weren't that man any longer." I pull away and hastily don, then secure the belt around my robe.

"I'm _no_t, but it doesn't mean that I don't recognize diversion."

"Funny, I didn't hear you complaining."

"And you never will, Bella. I just want you to be honest with me and yourself about why you're stalling."

"I'm not stalling!" My tone silences him. I'm surprised at how quickly my anger has escalated, and I look at him with deep regret.

"I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be; never be sorry for expressing how you feel. You have every reason to be upset and conflicted. Your profession has you inherently hide your true thoughts and feelings, but this right here is about _us_, it's raw and personal, and you can't hide behind that facade, Bella. "

"What does that mean?"

"It means that a week or a day is not going to make a difference. It won't change the man you've chosen to be with."

"I know it won't, and I'm not trying to change you. I don't want to change you. I just want…" I huff and cover my face in frustration.

"What? What do you want, Bella?"

"I just want some normalcy, Edward."

"But you know what my life has been. This here, what we now have, this is as normal as it is for us right now, Bella."

"I know…but, I just want to have moments like we just shared and not have to worry about them being ruined. I don't want to be out shopping and worry about overhearing gossip about who you've slept with in the past. I don't want to be at the hair salon, gushing about how wonderful my man is and realize that I'm confiding in some woman that he's already been with!"

He blanches as he stares at me; he looks hurt. Who could blame him? I'm ranting like a jealous girlfriend, and at this moment, I imagine that he's having flashbacks of his ex-wife.

When he finally speaks, his response is calm and a little pained. "I have good and bad parts to me, Bella. I've never tried to hide who I am from you, and as disgusted as I feel with myself when my past blindsides you, I have to wonder if you've thought things through thoroughly before committing yourself to a relationship with me."

My heart lurches at the thought of where this might be going.

"What are you trying to say, Edward?"

"I'm saying you can't just pick out the acceptable parts of me, Bella. It's all or nothing."

"Is that an ultimatum of sorts; if I don't move in with you, it's the end of us?"

"No…." He walks over to me and caresses my cheek, "…because I don't think that I could ever walk away from you. I just meant that when you love someone, it's all or nothing."

He kisses me softly on the forehead and leaves the room.

.

.

.

He looks devastatingly handsome in charcoal grey trousers and a shirt in the palest of blues.

We haven't spoken a word since our argument, and he doesn't make eye contact with me as he enters the living room. His silence scares me more than our raised voices and angry words.

He'll be gone for the entire weekend, and I can't let him walk out when there are unresolved matters between us.

"Are you okay?" He finally looks at me.

I nod, but my words belie the action. "No…I'm not."

He nods in understanding. "How can I make it better?"

I walk over to him and smooth his already perfect collar. "Kiss me goodbye."

.

.

.

"I'm glad you changed your mind," he murmurs against my lips, as we're about to exit the car at the airport.

"Me too." I whisper and smile.

Although we've not really resolved things, my accompanying him to the airport has given us a chance to part on better terms. We walk to the departure gates hand-in-hand. He pulls me in to kiss me once more.

"This is where I…."

"Don't say it…not yet." He murmurs as he deepens the kiss. I thread my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer

"_Now boarding at gate 12, Flight 37 to Dallas."_

Edward reluctantly pulls away with a frustrating growl.

"What bad fucking timing."

"Hey, don't brood." I trace his frown lines.

"You're getting on that plane with me, Bella."

"I don't think that's possible. I don't have a ticket."

"Minor setback. I'll catch a later flight and book you a seat, problem solved."

"That's not going to happen. I agreed to see you off, not to accompany you." I'm amused by his tenacity, and he sighs in defeat.

"Are you still angry at me?"

"No, and I'm going to miss you terribly. What about you?"

"I miss you already, Bella." His response makes me blush.

"What about the angry part?"

He smirks and steps closer to me.

"Let's just say that I'll be a lot less angry if, on my return, you're waiting for me in something red, lacy and preferably edible."

"Does something like that even exist?"

"Oh, it does, Doctor Swan, it does." With a final searing kiss, he heads toward the gate and turns to look at me one last time before he disappears.

"Red and lacy, huh Doctor Masen? Boy, do I have plans for you." I giggle and make a mental note to go shopping for lingerie.

"Trusting him to go out of town without you, Doctor Swan? Not a very wise move."

The voice in my ear startles me. I whirl around to see Mike Newton. Even behind the shades I can make out the mean, arrogance in his gaze.

"Hello, Doctor Newton. Goodbye, Doctor Newton."

He grabs my arm, stopping my retreat.

"I'm surprised at you, Doctor Swan. Blatant rudeness can be really _bad_ for your practice."

"Are you threatening me, Doctor Newton?"

He chuckles deviously and disappears amongst the boarding passengers.

Mike's still understandably upset, but I hope that his anger doesn't spill over into this trip, provoking Edward to do something they'll both regret.

"Christ, maybe I should've gone." I exhale in frustration and pull out my phone to send a quick text, asking him to promise to avoid Mike outside of anything work related. He responds right away with a winking, smiley face emoji. It does absolutely nothing to expel my worries.

"Damn you, Edward Masen."


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 44

I order room service as soon as I reach my room. Plane food defies description, so I avoid it at all costs. I'm hanging out for a good steak, accompanied by a glass of red wine to complement both my meal and take the edge off my bad mood. Said mood having been caused by Mike Newton's indirect and snide remarks as he boarded the plane; and again on entering the hotel. On each occasion, I'd remembered my promise to Bella. So far, hard as it has been, I've managed to keep it.

Medical personnel from around the country would be meeting downstairs for an informal 'meet and greet' this evening, and since I don't have other official obligations, it would be expected that I join them.

I have a shower while waiting for my food to arrive. As I'm getting dressed, my phone rings, alerting me to a video-call from Bella.

I grin happily as her face appears.

"Hey."

"Hi. I see you've made it safely."

"Yes, I did, I got in about an hour ago. I've just showered and was about to call you before I meet up with some colleagues."

"Speaking of which, is Mike behaving himself?"

"He's doing his best, I assume, as am I. I got your text."

"Your response was pretty vague, Doctor Masen."

I chuckle darkly, and she smiles.

"You look tired. Are you in bed already?"

"Yeah, I've had an eventful day," she laughs softly.

"Anything you want to share? Does it involve red lace?"

"Perhaps."

"I'm mad at you for not coming with me."

"I'll make it up to you."

"How?"

"Video-call me when you get back, and I'll show you."

My mind wanders pleasantly, thinking about what she could possibly have in her bag of tricks.

"Until later." I kiss my fingers and place them on the screen where her lips are and end the call.

.

.

.

"Edward, how are you?" I'm pulled into an affectionate hug.

"I'm doing well Doctor Granger and yourself?"

"I'm wonderful. It's so good to see you. It's been such a long time."

"It sure has. My father speaks of you often."

"Oh, he's such a wonderful man and an amazing surgeon. Is he still involved with St. Luc's?"

"Yes, he's on the board and has a number of other medical responsibilities that keep him busy. You should give him a call, he'd love to hear from you."

"I'll do that," she smiles brightly. "How's your mother?"

"She's terrific."

"Good. That's great to hear. Aaron will be so happy to see you, Edward; one of his cherished students so bright and successful."

"Well, I owe a great deal to him, Doctor Granger. Is he around?

"Yes, he's mingling on the other side of the room. Go and greet him."

"I will. It was nice seeing you again." I hug her and make my way over to her husband.

I haven't seen my professor in ages. They relocated, and we lost contact about five years ago when she accepted a position as head of neurology. It would be great to catch up, see where he's at in his life and tell him about my accomplishments. I credit him with a great deal of my academic success.

He looks the same, only slightly greyer. A smile spreads across his face as he sees me approach.

"Oh my, if it isn't my favorite student. Edward, it's wonderful to see you!" He gives me a firm handshake and introduces me to the doctors that he's been talking to.

"It's good to see you too, Professor Granger. How are you?"

"I'm doing well. Your ears must be burning. I was just talking about you to a few of my colleagues, reminiscing about the days when you, Mike and James used to be rivals in class."

"Yeah, those were the days." I smile wryly.

"You know, Edward, rumor has it that James got into some trouble. I've tried to reach out to him, but I've had no response. I know you two weren't the best of friends, but have you spoken to him lately?"

I grit my teeth. I don't think a word exists to adequately define what my relationship with James was and still is, but friendship would certainly not be one I'd choose. "No, I'm sorry, Professor, I haven't."

He nods sadly. He's always been so vested in his students and their welfare, which is the reason that he's been so influential in their successes.

"What about Mike, is he here? The last I remember, you were both working at St. Luc's."

"He's here, and you're right, we both work there."

"Did I hear my name?" Mike pops up, surprising us both.

"Michael, how are you?"

I grit my teeth as I try to not show my antagonism toward Newton, I can only hope that he does the same.

"Professor Granger. Wow! Wonderful to see you." he gushes.

"Edward and I were just reliving the times when he, you and James were the three proverbial thorns in my side." He laughs heartily. "Academically however, you three were my best students, ever."

"Yeah, but only two of us seemed to remain on the right track. Isn't that right, Edward?" Mike laughs boisterously and places his arm around my shoulders.

I know that he's trying to rile me, but I'm not about to make scene in front of my old college professor.

"So it seems, Mike."

"I'll give you three guesses which two that is, Professor." He winks.

"Yes, I heard that James hit a rough patch. Have you heard from him?"

"James? I was speaking about Edward here," he smiles snidely, tightening his hold on my shoulder. I will him to remove his arm before I rip it out of its socket.

"Mike, you've always been the one with the quirky sense of humor." Professor Granger shakes his head in amusement.

"All jokes aside, I haven't heard from James, but I hear the charges against him are pretty serious. What'd you hear, Edward?" He continues to needle.

"I've heard the same things you have, Mike." I remark coldly and glare at him. He's going too far. He and I have a ton of shit we can bicker about, but I draw the line at Josh's accident. As Josh's doctor, I assume that he would only have known the basics surrounding the accident, but I can't be too sure, and I don't want him dragging the details of that mess out now.

"Professor Granger, have you congratulated Edward on his appointment as the new head of surgery at St. Luc's?"

"I did hear about that and was going to do so just before you came along. Congratulations, Edward. It's good to hear that all my years of teaching didn't go astray. Your father must be proud."

"Oh, we're _all_ proud, Professor. Edward's _talents _give all of us something to be proud of." Mike interrupts.

"Professor, will you excuse us for a moment?" I motion to Mike and stalk across the room to a discreet corner. He follows readily, no doubt to try and escalate matters.

"Is this how it's going to be from now on, Mike? You're going to behave as if we're in the schoolyard every time we're in a public situation? Because you think I slept with your wife?"

"I _know_ you slept with her, so don't insult me, Masen."

"So what? You plan on airing your dirty laundry in front of the entire room or anyone willing to listen; our college professor? Come on, Mike, grow the fuck up."

"How's Bella, Edward? She's one smoking-hot woman." He grins salaciously.

I bristle at the way he speaks of Bella, and my resolve is threatened, but I hold on to my promise to her.

"Mike, you need to let this go and move on. Your issues are with your wife. It's something you need to resolve with her."

"You're absolutely right, 'Chief.' I _am_ moving on." He pats me on the back and finally walks away. I'm no fool, and I find no comfort in his parting words.

I mingle for a while, but soon return to my room to call Bella. I need to hear her voice to calm me and to remind me that I did the right thing by not beating Newton to a bloody pulp. I'd also be lying if I didn't admit that I couldn't wait to see what she has planned for me.

She looks rejuvenated and so, so beautiful.

"Back so soon?"

"Well, I wanted to hurry back to you. Did you have a good nap?"

"Yes, I did, and you're a tad impatient."

"Curious," I correct.

"I thought you might be." She lies back, and I realize where she is.

"You're in my bed."

"Yes, I am. I told you I've grown comfortable. I used my key." She holds it aloft, swinging it from a silver chain, before slowly bringing it to rest between her breasts. She drags it teasingly, and that's when I notice her state of dress.

"Are you naked under that robe?" I ask stupidly.

"You have eyes, don't you?"

"Yes, I do, and I'm thoroughly enjoying what I see."

"There's morewhere that came from," she whispers seductively.

"Let me see it." I recognize the lust in my voice. I recline back on the bed and watch as she trails the key down her bare midriff to stop at her navel. My eyes follow that key like a kitten follows a piece of string, and I lick my lips slowly, wishing that I could taste that spot right now. The key continues its downward path, stopping at her pelvic bone.

"Keep going," I command huskily, but she stops. Her face reappears on screen.

"You'll get the full show when you get home."

"Now, that's...not fair, Bella." My voice is strained, and I readjust myself.

"Getting a little excited, Doctor?" She chuckles in mock sweetness.

"You're teasing. It's a double edged-sword, Bella."

"Aww." She pouts, playfully and bats her eyelashes. "A double-edged sword?"

"Your teasing both excites and drives me crazy because you're not here, and now I'm going to have to do something about the state you've put me in."

"Mmmm…should I be worried, Doctor Masen?"

I strip off my shirt and undo my pants.

"Only if you're jealous of the act of self-pleasuring."

"Sounds like fun. Can I watch?"

I stand and place the tablet on the nightstand.

"When I get home." I smirk.

"Goodnight, beautiful."

.

.

.

I wake early and enjoy a continental breakfast while I read the local newspaper. The view from the patio is breathtaking. Dallas is a beautiful city filled with wonderful architecture, gardens and some legendary museums and other attractions. Once again, I find myself wishing that Bella were here to share it with me. My thoughts over these past weeks seem to almost constantly be centered on her and her lack of answer.

I know that I can make her happy. She just hast to trust in what we have together, and hard as it may be, let my past be just that. Everything else will fall into place. I envision an amazing life for us, traveling the world, embarking on many different and exciting things together; a life filled with laughter, joy and love, there would be nothing that I would deny her, nothing in this world. I cannot imagine a life more fulfilled than the one I'd have living with Bella.

I wonder if she understood when I said 'when you love someone it's all or nothing'. I wonder if she knows that what I was trying to say is, that I love her and all of me belongs to her. I've been wanting to tell her for weeks now, but I fear she may pull away, that it's all too much for her; being in a relationship with a man like me, moving in, hearing the words 'I love you.' Maybe it's all moving a little too fast for her.

I knew from the first day we met that I wanted her. At the time, I convinced myself that it was for sexual gratification alone, the thrill of the chase. I know now, that the want to claim a woman like her and parade her around like a notch on my belt, was me hiding behind the façade of an arrogant, foolish and deeply humiliated man.

Who would ever have thought that the person that I was so hell bent on keeping out of my head… and my life; the person that I determined would not make me change my lifestyle, would turn out to be the only woman capable of stealing _every _part of my heart. The only woman to make me once more want the things that I'd given up on; a life of love, happiness and a family of my own. Bella makes me believe that with her, I can have it all, that I can regain what had been stolen from me.

There's not a doubt in my mind that she feels the same way about me. I see it in her eyes, and I feel it in her touch. Neither of us has voiced our feelings aloud. I guess I'm not the only one who's afraid.

My phone alerts me to an incoming text. It's a mass communication reminding attendees that the conference starts in twenty minutes

People are mingling outside the conference room. Jessica and Mike are chatting with Phil, another of St. Luc' s surgeons. I'm reluctant to approach the group as I don't want to get into another round with him, but it would seem standoffish of me not to join my colleagues.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, Doctor Masen." Jessica and Phil greet me. "We're just waiting for the speaker to show up," Jessica adds.

"Do you know who's heading up the seminar?"

"Granger." Mike responds tersely and walks in to take a seat.

As if on cue, Professor Granger arrives and greets everyone as they file in.

"Good morning, Edward."

"Morning, Professor. I didn't know you that would be speaking"

"Just like old times, huh?" He pats me on the back as we enter.

.

.

.

"It was an enlightening seminar, Professor. You haven't lost your touch." He and I stroll down the hall at the end of the day.

"Well, you know, imparting knowledge is something I hold as close to my heart as you do surgery and healing. It's our passion. I always knew you would be successful in your endeavors, Edward."

"I had a great teacher." I acknowledge with a smile.

"Yes, well, it's time for this teacher to call it quits. I've been doing this for ages. It's time," he draws out a sigh.

"Really…you're retiring?"

"Seems so. My wife wants to move to Europe. I think she's been planning it since her retirement last year. She's an amazing woman and has put up with a lot from me. Who am I to deny her?"

"If that's the case, then I guess you have a point. Europe, huh? Yeah, it suits you," I laugh. We stop at the elevator.

"As this is my last seminar, there'll be a little 'going away' party for me this evening. Will you join us?"

"I wouldn't miss it, Professor."

"Wonderful! It's to be held in the restaurant on the mezzanine level and starts around eight."

"I'll be there."

.

.

.

I'm getting ready when I hear a disturbance in the hall and go out to check.

A young woman is banging her suitcases along the wall as she struggles with an overwhelming amount of luggage. I immediately wonder why she hasn't asked for a bellman to assist her.

She mutters a string of profanity as she stumbles and lands on the floor.

"Are you all right?" I lean over to help her to her feet.

"I'm fine…stupid heels…." She chuckles nervously as she straightens her skirt.

"Well maybe, but I think you might need some assistance with your luggage. Were you not offered bellman services at the front desk?"

"I was, but I was impatient and didn't want to wait. I've had the worse flight experience ever, and then the airline misplaced my luggage. I just wanted to get to my room and relax in a nice, hot bath." She exhales a ragged breath and runs a hand through her hair before trying to gather up her bags.

"Oh well, I can empathize. Here, let me help you with those." I reach down to retrieve the two heavier looking bags and wait for her to lead the way.

"Thank you so much. I really appreciate this." She smiles warmly as I follow her down the hall.

"This is it. I really hope this room has a huge tub."

"The rooms here are amazing; bathrooms are pretty spacious and elegant; excellent for escaping to and relaxing after a bad flight experience," I chuckle.

"That's good to know." She opens the door.

"I'll just set them right here for you so, you won't have to make two or three trips." I quickly step into the foyer and set down the luggage before backing out.

"Thank you again…"

"My name's Edward."

"Hi, Edward, I'm Jillian." She offers her hand, and I politely accept.

"Hello, Jillian."

She smiles at me brightly, holding onto my hand. I recognize the inviting look, and I quickly withdraw my hand.

"Well…there's a dinner party I need to get to. It was nice meeting you, Jillian.

"Nice meeting you too, Edward. Maybe, I'll see you later?"

"Careful in those heels." I smile politely and turn away. I feel her eyes on me as I close the door.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 45

"What the hell are we doing here, Rosalie? I specifically invited you to go shopping and then to have lunch. How in God's name did we end up in this place?"

"Don't be such a prude, Bella. I thought it would spice up our trip to the lingerie store," she mocks excitement.

"I'm not a prude, but pole dancing? I can barely waltz without breaking my neck. How do you think I'll fare when wrapping myself around a pole?"

"With that attitude, not well at all," she scoffs and continues to limber up.

_Damn you, Rosalie Hale!_

"Come on, Bella, stop sulking. It's going to be so much fun, and you said you wanted to do something special for Edward."

"I meant titillating underwear and edible body oils."

"All that's fun, but this is the way to go with a man like Edward, trust me. I've been taking this class twice a week since Emmett and I have…well, you get what I mean, Bella."

"Unfortunately, I do."

"And believe me, if Edward's tastes are anything like his brother's, he'll love this. We can buy trashy underwear afterwards."

I shake my head and fight to suppress my amusement, but it's pointless, she's incorrigible. I start stretching.

I glance around and see five other women. Some are warming up and a couple are already practicing on a pole. My eyes widen as I witness one of them flip upside down and gracefully slide down said pole.

"Did you see that?" I exclaim to Rosalie in a whisper.

"That's Megan. She's a showoff."

"She must be an exotic dancer. I mean no one's body should bend that wa–"

Rosalie easily contorts her body into yet another seemingly impossible position. "I stand corrected," I mutter to myself.

Allison, the instructor I met earlier, walks in and greets the class.

"Okay, ladies today we're going to revisit the basic steps we've been practicing over the past weeks. Let's get our heels on and take up our positions, everyone." She claps her hands and starts the music.

"Well, I guess that leaves me out. I don't have high heeled shoes with me, and I'm not familiar with the routine." I step back in relief, and Rose yanks me back into place.

"We both wear a size six." She reaches into her bag and dangles a pair of red stilettos from her fingers. "Allison doesn't mind newcomers."

_Shit!_

I snatch them from her with a huff and hastily don them as a slow, sensual song fills the room.

"Just watch first, Bella, and when we've done the routine you can practice the moves," Allison calls out to me, then silently mouths a countdown for the class.

The beat slows, and the singer's voice drifts through the room like molten honey. The women sexily stalk over to the row of poles. They toss their heads back and swing around slowly, hips undulating to the slow rhythm. They tilt their heads back, practically touching the floor before they sensually make their way back up.

It's the sexiest and most erotic dance I've ever witnessed. Rosalie is phenomenal. The way she loses herself to the music leaves me in awe.

They sinuously make their way to the top of the pole and twirl around it slowly, legs gracefully holding them up. They spin around the pole, every movement slow and seductive, showcasing their flexibility, strength and sensuality. They provocatively and slowly make their way to the bottom and end with a sexy routine of hair tossing, sensuous hip rolling and then finish by doing the splits. They repeat the routine until the music softly fades. I show my admiration by applauding enthusiastically. Rosalie twirls over to me and curtsies deeply.

"Wow, Rose, that was…. how did you learn to do that?"

"I knew you'd love it," she laughs and links her arm with mine. Now, let's go and see Allison and get you started."

_Oh boy._

_._

_._

_._

"How about this?" She holds up something that closely resembles dental floss and waggles her eyebrows suggestively.

"I'll wear it, if you will." I scoff and roll my eyes. She raises her chin confidently and throws the item over her forearm with the rest of the lingerie she's plans on purchasing. I recognize a challenge when I see one, but I'm not falling for it this time.

"It's not going to happen, Sweetie. How about this one?"

"He'll be bored in two seconds. You act like you've never done this before." She narrows her eyes and shakes her head. "Although you've never discussed your intimate relationship with Jake much, I do know that the two of you had to have had a spicy love life."

"It was _spicy_ all right, at least up until the part where he expressed his desire to participate in threesomes."

"Oh right, _that._ Well, Jake is an idiot, and Edward is…." She retrieves a strapless red, lace pushup bra, with matching panties and waves them in front of my face with a devious smirk. Sometimes, I wonder if they're kindred spirit.

"Have you been talking to Edward?"

"No. Why?" She frowns.

"You just seem to be a little too tuned in to what he likes." I remove the lingerie from her hand and place it in my shopping basket.

"I'm in tune with what _all_ men like, Doctor Bella." She says sweetly.

I roll my eyes dramatically and carry my intended purchases to the counter.

"Hi, were you able to find everything you needed?" the salesperson beams expectantly.

"Yes, I did thank you." I rummage through my purse for my wallet as she tallies and bags my purchases.

"Will that be all? We have some beautiful silk nylons that would pair well with the items you've purchased."

"Ooh, silk." Rosalie's eyes sparkle, and I snap her back to reality.

"No, thank you. That will be all for today. What's the total?"

"That'll be two-hundred and thirty-five dollars, please."

"Wait," Rosalie interrupts as I hand over my credit card. "You forgot this one." She places the dental floss on the counter and smiles broadly."

"Oh no, Rosalie Hale, I am _not_ buying that."

"Put it on my card." She addresses salesperson and turns to me. "Consider it an early birthday gift."

.

.

.

We decide to dine at a recently opened restaurant, and she makes me promise not to mention it Emmett, saying that he thinks of every restaurant as competition.

"Wow, this place is really nice." I admire the upscale décor as we take our seats.

"Yeah, and the lobster rolls are to die for."

"How'd you find out about this place?"

"Well," she leans in and drops her voice as if she's about to reveal the world's best kept secret. "Emmett and I ate here a few days ago."

"Hold on. I thought you wanted to keep the fact that you're eating here from him?"

"Well, I don't want him to know that I've eaten here _again._ He hates that I'm impressed with anything or anyone he views as competition."

"You've lost me." I shake my head in confusion.

"When we ate here, I gushed about the food, service and everything in general. I think it bothered him that perhaps I haven't gushed quite that much about his restaurant, but that's not the point. He and I were here on a double date."

"A double date…with whom?"

"Leah and Riley. I told you I was going to hook the two of them up." The waitress comes to take our orders.

"Hi, I'll have the lobster roll, dill sauce on the side and a Mai Thai." She immediately requests.

"I'll have the same." I wait until the waitress leaves to finish our conversation.

"So, how did meddling in my receptionist's love life work out?"

"I wasn't meddling, and it didn't go as well as I'd hoped."

I smile and shake my head. She actually has the audacity to look perplexed.

"What happened?"

"Well, dinner was great. Then we went to shoot a round of pool at Emmett's. Leah seemed to really like him, but I got the feeling he was more into a 'bromance' with Em_, _than spending time with Leah."

"Riley's gay?"

"No, but he's clearly a selfish son of a bitch who's totally into himself and anything sports related. I mean, he talked sports practically the entire evening and left poor Leah wondering if she'd done something wrong."

"Poor Leah."

"Not to worry. There's this other cute personal trainer that I think will be perfect for her." She waves a hand dismissively.

"Rosalie." I can't help but giggle at her persistence.

Our food arrives, looking and smelling amazing, and I dive right in.

"Delicious, right?"

"Mmm,"

My attention is drawn to a couple entering. The woman looks familiar, but I've only caught a glimpse, and they disappear from my view before I can ascertain her identity.

"Bella, are you even listening to me? What are you staring at?" She turns in her seat and looks around.

"It's nothing. I just thought I saw someone I know."

"Oh really? Anyone important; maybe someone from our crazy college days?"

"Fortunately, not." I laugh.

"So, how did things go with you and Edward, you know; the whole moving-in thing?"

I chew my food slowly as I contemplate her question. "I haven't given him an answer yet."

"What the hell are you waiting for?" She stares at me intently, and I feel as if I'm on the witness stand.

"I promised to give him an answer when he gets back."

"And when will that be?" She doesn't break her gaze as she slowly sips from her straw.

"He'll be home on Monday."

"That doesn't give you a shitload of time."

"I know this...I–"

"In fact, I think you already have his answer." She cuts me off, eyebrow raised.

"Maybe," I reply in mock sweetness and deliberately fill my mouth with another bite of food.

"Isabella Marie Swan." If possible, her brow arches even higher, and I sense her impatience.

"Okay fine, I'm going say yes when he returns, and you had better not blab, Rosalie Hale. I mean it!"

She lets out a strangled squeal and holds up her glass in a toast.

We linger as we share a decadent dessert.

"This is too damned good for words," she waves her fork in the air. "And if I eat another bite, I won't be able to fit into that little number I've just spent three-hundred dollars on."

"Agreed." I huff, equally stuffed and slide the rest of the molten chocolate cake away. "Are you ready?" I place my credit card in the sleeve with the bill and rise.

"Just let me make a phone call. I received an urgent text about one of my patients.

"All right, I'm going to head to the ladies' room to freshen up. Back in a few."

I push my way through the bathroom door, "God, why did I insist on dessert?" I groan as I stare into the mirror. I fish around in my bag for my lip gloss and look up to find a familiar reflection looking back at me.

"Lauren," I exclaim in surprise. She smirks as she silently surveys me.

"Are you following me?"

"Paranoid much?" She leans in and meticulously paints her lips a bright red.

"Hardly, I hope you realize that you're in breach of your bail conditions."

"This is a public place, and this has been a purely accidental meeting."

"Oh, you're the queen of accidents," I scoff disdainfully. She fixes me with an icy glare. She glances around surreptitiously before she turns on the faucet to maximum flow and leaves it running without making use of it.

"Do you think I'm stupid enough to jeopardize my freedom for the likes of _you_? Trust me, Doctor Swan, _I_ won't need to lift a finger for you to get what you deserve," she whispers menacingly and places her index finger to her lips. She then shuts off the water.

"Enjoy your lunch, Doctor," she intones sweetly and leaves without a backward glance.

I'm left feeling shaken. I've always known that she would again somehow make her presence known. Her obsession with Edward runs too deep for her to simply give up, but I'd not been prepared to personally come face to face with her, and certainly not when on my own. She'd caught me completely by surprise.

I briefly consider calling Edward, but he'd most likely overreact and do something rash. I really don't want him to get into trouble.

Her subtle threat was not really tangible enough to drag anyone else into it. So, I decide to just let it slide and hope that we don't have too many more 'accidental' meetings. She's too damned smart to make an overt threat and her little subterfuge with the running water proved just how adept she is at covering her tracks.

I return to the table where Rosalie looks set to leave.

"Everything alright?" I ask as I sign for the bill and gather my credit card.

"It will be," she sighs. "Will you be able to drop me off at my office? I need to pick up some files."

"Sure…" I look around to see Lauren and her companion laughing as they chat.

"Bella? What are you staring at?"

"I'll tell you in the car."

When I tell Rosalie about my run-in with Lauren, and she nearly flips her lid. We eventually agree that I shouldn't read too much into it or get Edward involved. Lauren is obviously not a very stable woman, but she isn't crazy enough to try and do something when she's just been charged and is awaiting trial. She probably just wanted to vent and took the opportunity when she saw me. Rosalie also insisted, that despite the protection that the bail conditions afford, that I contact a lawyer as an added precaution. Again, I agreed.

Other than the Lauren incident, I've had a fabulous day. I always love spending time with Rosalie, lunch was delicious, and we had a blast shopping. My weekly schedule now includes two pole-dancing classes. She's right; Edward will love it. It's just one of the surprises I have in store for him.

I drop my bags and look around my condo. It feels foreign to me now, a place I no longer recognize as my home. I realize that I haven't slept or spent any time here recently.

Nothing here reminds me of Edward, there's not a trace of his scent or his subtle untidiness.

"This feels all wrong." I shake my head and rummage through my purse. I grab my bags and head out.

I look around and smile; despite being greeted with the same silence I experienced at my place, it feels like home. I glance across the room and see his tennis shoes haphazardly tossed near the stairs. I shut the door and on my way upstairs, I smilingly bend to straighten his shoes.

I stare at the bed that we've made love in countless times.

_This is home...right here...with him._

I move around the room slowly, trailing my fingertips along the bed and think about how things will be once we live together.

"Disaster." I chuckle at the thought of us sharing the domestic duties. He's such a beautiful mess and a dreadful cook, but I revel in the idea of sharing those mundane tasks with him, of being his everything.

I pick up his bathrobe from the foot of the bed and bring it to my nose, inhaling his fresh, clean scent.

I wonder if he misses me as much as I'm missing him?

"Get a grip, girl. He's only been gone a day," I admonish myself and hang his robe up as I prepare to have a bath.

.

.

.

"Hey, good morning. What are you doing here on a Saturday?" I look at Leah questioningly.

"Oh, I had some paperwork to catch up on and some extra time on my hands and thought 'why not?'. Good morning to you too."

"Leah, it's a Saturday morning, why are you really here? I don't believe that you have work to catch up on. You're much too efficient to be running behind. The fact that you have extra time on your hands speaks volumes."

"Does it?" She sounds unaffected and continues shuffling files.

"All right, put that down and talk to me." I take the folders from her hands and place them on her desk.

"Rosalie," she groans and buries her face in her hands.

"I see." I chortle quietly, and her head shoots up, she's not amused.

"Bella, she's insane. You _have _to talk to her. She's basically turned me into a dating experiment. I mean, I thought she was a child psychiatrist and that _you_ were the relationship expert?"

I try and mask the smile tugging at my mouth, but it's futile.

"This is not funny." She emits a sound halfway between a whine and a laugh. "It's like she's conducting auditions for some television dating show with me as the prize! You _have_ to do something."

"Okay, you do know that those shows are not real?" I joke.

"Bella!"

"All right, firstly breathe, and secondly go home and don't answer if she calls or shows up at your door. I'll deal with Rosalie."

"Oh God, thank you so much for this, Bella. Rosalie can be hard to say no to at times, and I really don't want to seem ungrateful." She straightens her desk and hurriedly gathers her belongings on the way to the elevator.

"Don't thank me yet." I call out as I watch her disappear.

I settle my eyes on the object that's brought me here. I take off my shoes and stand on the sofa to remove the painting. I lovingly wrap it in brown paper to protect it during transit.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 46

"Flying solo tonight, Edward?"

"It seems so, Jess. You look lovely, by the way."

"Thank you, and you look dashing, as always."

We've both arrived early and are on the balcony while awaiting the arrival of the guest of honor, who doesn't appear to have shown up yet.

"I would have thought that you'd have your gorgeous, new girlfriend on your arm. What's her name again?"

"Well, it wasn't my intention to come alone, Jess, just bad timing, and her name's Isabella. What's your excuse for _flying solo,_ as you put it?"

"I'm not dating anyone." She grabs a glass of champagne from a passing waiter.

"What's the matter, Jess, has no one caught your eye yet?"

"Oh, there's definitely someone I have my eye on." She smirks suggestively, and I realize that I have to cut her off before this goes any further.

"I'm in a committed relationship, Jessica."

"And your point is?" She raises a nonchalant brow.

"My point is, I'm _seeing_ someone. I'm in a _committed relationship_."

"The word relationship holds about as much value to you as a two headed coin, Edward." She rolls her eyes and scoffs dismissively.

I'm a bit taken aback by her newfound boldness. Maybe it's the champagne talking. Jessica has never been one to exert such brash behavior. I contemplate responding with a cutting retort but feign ignorance instead.

"I'm sorry, I don't follow, Jess."

"No?" She moves closer and fixes me with a lustful stare. "Well, how about I make things a little clearer for you; my hotel room after the party, you can have it _any_ way you like, Edward. Bring your camera if you like."

She winks and sashays into the restaurant.

I shake my head and exhale in frustration. Jessica has never showed interest in me before, and I don't know what's happened to arouse her interest now. It doesn't matter though, I've never been interested, and I most definitely am not now. Bella is the only woman I want and choose to be with, but sadly, I realize that like tonight, I'll be a constantly reminded of the my reprehensible past. I guess it's karma in a way. Lauren hurt me, I lashed out and hurt other women, and now it all comes back to hurt the people I love most. I think about Josh's accident and Bella's indecision.

She's a strong woman. It's one of the attributes that first attracted me to her, but I also recognize that her profession forms part of her outward strength. She can only protect her true emotions to a certain extent. She always strives to see the good in someone; she believes that no one is beyond help. It explains why, despite everything she's come to know about me, she's stayed by my side. But now, as our relationship progresses, I'm beginning to understand her fear and her explanation on the eve of my departure. She's no longer my therapist; she's the woman in my life, and with that role come's vulnerability, and the price of facing, accepting and living with my demons; all of them. Maybe she feels that it's too high a price to pay. I pray not.

At the conclusion of dinner and his speech, Professor Granger and his wife head in my direction, while well-wishers, stopping for a last farewell, impede their progress.

"I still can't believe you're doing it," I smile as they finally reach me.

"Edward, I told him I would divorce him if he worked another year."

"Well, we can't have that. Happy Retirement, Professor," I laugh as he joins in and shakes my hand.

"Edward, when you have a woman this special in your life, you learn to listen to everything they say." He winks and holds her close.

"I'm beginning to realize that."

"Well, there are a few people I should speak with, will I see you before you head back to Chicago?"

"You can count on it, Professor. You two enjoy the rest of the evening."

I make my way over to the bar, which is surprisingly quiet. It provides a welcome reprieve from socializing and gives me an opportunity to text Bella.

"Can I get you anything, Sir?"

"I'll just have a seltzer with lime, thank you."

I sense someone arriving and sitting on the stool beside me, but I'm composing my message and don't look up.

"What can I get you?" I hear the barperson ask.

"I'll have a gin and tonic." The familiar voice draws me from my task, and I look over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of curly, blonde hair.

"Must be fate," she says as she takes a sip of her drink.

"Hello again, I see you're in a more relaxed mood." I turn around and gesture to her beverage."

"Edward, right?"

"Yes, and you're the frustrated, impatient, slightly clumsy woman I helped a few hours ago. Jillian, am I correct?"

"Wow, that's not the impression I wanted to leave on a handsome man," she laughs, and I smile.

"So, I take it everything worked out for you?" I clear my throat as I notice a response from Bella.

"Excuse me?"

"The uh…bathtub...did you find it to your liking?"

I wince slightly, as I realize in retrospect that the question may sound improper.

"Oh! Everything was perfect." She finally remembers our earlier conversation, thank God.

"I miss you too," I whisper.

"I beg your pardon?"

"What?" I look up blankly and realize that I've spoken aloud. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just…." I hold up my phone, and she nods in understanding.

"So, what brings you here, Edward, business or pleasure?"

"I'm attending a medical seminar this weekend, so I guess it's business."

"You're a doctor."

"Yes."

"Well, that would explain it."

"Explain what?" I frown.

"Your eagerness to help." She lowers her tone and sips her drink while coyly peering over the rim of the glass.

"Oh that, well, what would I be if I didn't help a damsel in distress?"

She chortles lightly, and we fall silent.

"Remy Martin, please." Newton slips in-between us and barks out his order, thumping rather loudly on the counter.

He's been drinking and is clearly agitated, so I choose not to engage him.

The bartender returns with his drink almost immediately, and he turns to give me an unnerving smile.

"_That'_s the way you loosen up, Chief. Bottoms up!" He waggles his brows at Jillian and snickers as he walks away.

He's behavior is increasingly worrying, but I'm choosing to pick my battles with him. If one suggestive comment is all I have to endure, then so be it.

"One of your colleagues?"

"Yep." I exhale in frustration.

"He called you Chief."

"Yes…." I laugh in slight embarrassment, "…as in of surgery."

"Oh, I see, you're not just a doctor, you're a surgeon; the head surgeon, who's here on business and not much pleasure."

"Well, technically the seminar is over, so I guess this would be the pleasurable part of my trip. This is as good as it gets." I lift my glass in a toast.

"I think we can do a little better than that." Her voice is barely a whisper as she signals for the woman behind the bar. "Give my friend here something a little more pleasurable."

She nods, smirks at me and soon returns with a half-filled glass and bottle of vodka. She slides them over to me.

"Uh, sorry, but no thank you. I'd rather be operating with a clear head tonight." I slide them back at her, and she turns questioningly to Jillian.

"You have surgery tonight?" She frowns.

"I meant figuratively."

"Oh, come on, Edward. It's just one drink. Live a little."

I stare unseeingly at the drink then turn my gaze on her. She eyes me seductively, and a sudden wariness overcomes me; Mike's odd behavior, less than subtle flirting from a young, pretty woman, the offer to ply me with drinks. It evokes an uncomfortably familiar feeling.

I don't know why my subconscious is recalling _that _memory now; it's been years, but I'm sure this feeling of uneasiness stems from Newton's behavior, there's just something unsettling about it.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to decline your offer." I sound harsh even to my own ears. I storm off, leaving both women gaping in shock.

I pace the floor of the men's room as a couple of the occupants skeptically look on. I contemplate finding Mike and asking him just what he's up to, but I realize just how paranoid I would sound.

I know that he isn't above seeking revenge, but would he go this far? Would he even know of my history?

I scrub a hand over my face and take a deep breath to calm myself before I walk back out. The two women are still talking.

"I want to apologize, to both of you, for my rude behavior. Please accept my sincere apology?"

She nods hesitantly and settles back onto her stool. She has that look, however. She's expecting more out of this. It's never just one drink, and the man I once was wouldn't make it past half a drink. She's lovely enough, but I'm so fundamentally different now. One woman has completely changed me, and I'm happy with the person I now am, even though I know I still have a lot of growing to do.

"I didn't mean to sound brusque, but I can't…it wouldn't be appropriate."

"Well, that means one of two things; either you're maintaining your sobriety, or you're already attached."

"Yes, you're absolutely right…about your second assumption. I have a girlfriend."

"Girlfriend...of course."

"Girlfriend." I repeat decisively and smile apologetically at her defeated expression.

Later, as I chat with a couple of new associates, I notice Jillian stumbling from the bar. She's very obviously intoxicated and vulnerable, and I excuse myself and hurry to her aid.

"Need some help there?"

"What, are you my keeper now?" She slurs as she looks up at me.

"No, far from it, but I _am_ going to do you a favor and escort you over to the elevator. I think this is the last place you need to be in your current state." She practically falls into me as I help her along.

"You're probably right. Where's my purse?" She looks around aimlessly.

"It's in your hand. You're really out of it. Let's get you to your room."

"I would ask me to join me, but you're already spoken for," she giggles uncontrollably.

"Yes, I'm already spoken for, and there's nothing that would make me change my mind about that, but you're going to be fine. You don't need company." I motion for a bellman.

"Will you see that this young lady gets to her room safely, please?" I pull out a fifty-dollar bill and hand it to him before he has the chance to respond.

"Absolutely, Sir, and thank you."

"Wait, I thought you were going to see me to my room?"

"Take care of yourself, Jillian." The elevator doors close, and I sigh heavily.

"What a night."

.

.

.

My cellphone rings and I fumble around the bedside table before answering.

"You're up early," I rasp.

"I am. What time does your flight get in?"

I detect the smile in her voice, and I can't help the answering grin that spreads across my face.

"Someone misses me, I see. I have a late flight, and I probably won't land at O'Hare until seven this evening."

"That works out perfectly. I'll pick you up, and we can have dinner."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you then."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I do miss you, more than I can say."

"Well, hopefully you 'show' better than you 'tell.' I laugh darkly.

"You'll find out soon, Doctor, until later."

I smile, ease back into the warm bed and imagine our reunion. I can't wait.

.

.

.

"Nice swing." I praise Professor Granger as we wait to see where the ball lands.

"Thanks."

We walk down the course to the next hole, and I wait for him to putt. He taps the ball lightly and sinks it.

"How are things between you and Mike? His behavior seemed a bit strange last night."

I take position in front of the ball and steady myself. To be honest, I need the brief distraction to consider my response.

"You know Mike, Professor." My club connects with the ball with more force than I intended, a clear sign of my agitation.

"I do; I happen to know both of you very well, and I definitely sense hostility between you."

I feel my jaw clench repeatedly, and I finally turn to face him. He watches me intently, and I take a deep, steadying breath.

"Professor, Mike and I have been competing since college, and unfortunately, we don't always see eye to eye."

"Does this have anything to do with the fact that you received the promotion ahead of him?"

"Amongst other things; he seems to think that I don't deserve it, and I understand his skepticism. Like me, he can be somewhat narcissistic. I accept that he believes that he's the better candidate for the position." I shrug and position myself for another swing.

"That's no reason to exemplify immature behavior. Both of you are the epitome of excellence in your profession. That promotion could've gone either way, and the decision makers appointed the person they believed to be the best candidate. I'm going to have a talk with him."

I realize that I have to stop him from approaching Mike. This is exactly the opportunity that Newton is looking for. Someone, who would pay enough attention to question him about the trouble between us. He'd be more than happy to disclose the reason behind it; being able to spill the beans to our college professor would be the perfect end to his game. He'd make me look like a predatory home wrecker and have me be a disappointment to an important person in my life, someone who thinks highly of me.

"Professor, I don't think it's a good idea for you to place yourself in the middle of our petty rivalry. I believe it will only exacerbate the situation. I can handle Mike."

"I just dislike seeing the two of you still at each other's throats. It's time to grow up."

"I agree, Professor, and I guarantee you that things will work themselves out between Mike and I."

We make our way over to the golf cart and drive to the next course.

.

.

.

"Well, Edward, as always, you excel at everything you put your mind to. You've managed to whip me at my favorite game."

"I probably should've warned you that I play on a regular basis," I laugh as we make our way across the green.

"Playing is one thing, you're damned good at it. I need to practice my half swing."

"There'll be plenty of time to do just that when you've retired."

"This is true, and I want a rematch. My dream is to find a place large enough with room for a practice course. Jules however, probably has already planned on planting a massive garden. I'll need to intervene."

"Good luck with that." I laugh uproariously, knowing how a wife usually ends up getting what they want, especially a woman like Doctor Granger.

"Say that you and your wife will visit once Juliette and I are settled in Europe?"

He turns around at the lengthy silence.

"Lauren and I are divorced, Professor." I clear my throat uncomfortably.

His expression immediately turns apologetic.

"Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry, Edward."

"It's fine, really, it was the best thing for both of us. I'm with someone else now, but I'd still be happy to take you up on your offer. I think Bella would love Europe."

"Bella…that's a beautiful name."

"Yes, it is. It's a shortened form of Isabella, and she lives up to everything her name promises."

"It sounds like you're smitten."

"I'd say I am, Professor, and I'd love for you and Doctor Granger to meet her."

"Then it's settled. Once Juliette and I are established, we'll invite you and Bella to spend a nice vacation with us."

We play a few more rounds and part after making arrangements to keep in touch. I take in little sightseeing and do some shopping to pick up souvenirs for my family, and I spend an inordinate amount of time choosing Josh and Bella's gifts.

My flight isn't scheduled for another few hours or so, and I'm looking forward to using some of it to unwind before I pack and head to the airport.

I sit on the balcony of my room with a glass of brandy, enjoying the warm breeze, when there's a knock on the door.

"Hi." She smiles widely.

"Hello. What are you doing here?" I frown in confusion.

"I'm sorry to just show up at your door, but I just wanted to thank you for last night."

"I didn't do anything except have a bellman assist you to your room. It was no big deal. Besides, it was the least I could do, considering my behavior at the bar."

"I know. We both seemed to be battling demons," she chuckles nervously and wraps her arms around her midsection, securing her flimsy robe.

"Listen, Jillian, my flight leaves shortly, and I really haven't packed so…."

"Oh, okay. I didn't mean to hold you up. I just wanted to say thank you."

"You're welcome."

"It was nice meeting you, Edward." She smiles despondently.

"Goodbye." I close the door.

.

.

.

As I catch a glimpse of the chaos at the baggage carousel, I commend myself for travelling light. It's not the only thing that grabs my attention. I see her, standing on her tiptoes, anxiously scanning the crowd. Finally, our eyes meet, and a wide smile lights up her beautiful face. Each time I see this woman, my heart literally lurches in my chest; she is so, so perfect.

I can't contain the smile that spreads across my face as she draws near. The moment feels like a clip from some cheesy movie. Her pace picks up, and she wraps her arms around me, instantly pulling me into a passionate kiss.

"Welcome home, Doctor Masen," she murmurs against my lips.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 47

"Wow, a personal chauffeur, dinner at my favorite restaurant, and now I'm being blindfolded. Have I told you that this is one of my fantasies and rated highly on the kink scale, Doctor Swan."

"Shut up, Edward." She swats me playfully as she leads me along. We stop, and I hear a key entering a lock and the swing of a door opening.

"There had better not be a house full of people shouting welcome home when you finally take this blindfold off, Bella."

"You haven't been gone long enough for that to happen and stop ruining the surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"Well, I hope you'll change your mind about this one." She slowly undoes the makeshift blindfold, fashioned from one of my silk ties.

"Ta-da!"

There _is_ a banner, stretched across the foyer. I turn to look at her. She's gnawing at her lip, a clear sign of her nervousness.

"I thought it was very apropos, given the situation."

I nod silently, and read it a second time, as I take in the significance.

_Welcome Home Edward and Bella._

To some, it may appear cheesy, but I love the thought and effort that she's put in to give me the answer that I've been longing for. The gesture is as beautiful as she is, and it's rendered me speechless. I'm too afraid to speak, concerned that if I do, I'd be overcome with the emotion bubbling up inside of me.

"Oh God, you don't like it." Her face drops. She moves to take the banner down, and I gently grasp her wrist.

"It's…It's perfect." I whisper hoarsely.

"Are you sure? I felt it was a bit cheesy, but I didn't know how to…I meant I thought about just telling you over dinner, but I wanted to…"

"Bella, are you _sure_?"

She nods without hesitation, and my knees nearly buckle with relief. Ever since she'd first told me that she needed time, I'd been living with the dread that she'd end up deciding that she couldn't spend her life with me.

I cradle her face and stare into her expressive eyes and kiss her deeply.

"I love that you brought the painting _home_. It's where it belongs." I peck her lips as I take in my gift to her, proudly displayed in my home, _our _home.

"I agree. It's the perfect place for it." She lovingly combs her fingers through my hair.

"Now, about this banner…." I reach up and snatch it down.

"Edward!" She gasps in shock.

"I think I know of a way to put it to good use."

"I worked so hard on that!" She protests humorously, her hands on her hips as she surveys the trail of paper at my feet.

"I won't let your hard work go to waste. I promise." I pull her close and lightly kiss behind her ear.

"How?"

"I'm going to wrap this around our naked bodies, then I'm going to make love to you."

She squeals as I hoist her over my shoulder.

"What about paper-cuts." Her voice sounds strained from her upturned position.

"What's hot sex without a little danger?" I chuckle. "Welcome home, Bella."

.

.

.

"Sorry about the banner."

True to my word, I've made love to her repeatedly, until it was destroyed.

"You're not sorry at all." She hums contentedly as she idly runs her hand over my abdomen, my relaxed and flaccid state a testament to her statement.

"Guilty." I sigh happily as I play with her wild hair, twisting it gently into a bun. "So, when will you start pleasantly cramming my drawers with sexy underwear and completely taking over my closet space?"

"I've been gradually doing that for a while now, not that you've noticed." She turns to me, and her hair spills enticingly around her shoulders.

"I've definitely noticed, and I can't wait until you start moving in the rest of your things."

She smiles and kisses my chest. Her breathing slows as she's falling into slumber.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Things happened in Dallas. Mike was acting rather weirdly. I didn't respond and tried my best to avoid him. I don't want to make a big deal of it, I really just want us to be able to move past all of that bullshit and get on with our lives. I don't want to spoil what should be a truly happy time for us."

"What happened?" She yawns discreetly.

"He was being a jerk as usual and seemed to be everywhere I turned. I feel that he was looking for an opportunity to get back at me; he even made innuendos in front of our old college professor."

"Innuendos?"

"He alluded to how I had strayed from the straight and narrow, probably hoping that Professor Granger would ask what he meant. Then he'd have had the opportunity to really get into it. He kept riling me the way he normally does and threw your name into the mix to further incite me. Just his usual juvenile behavior."

"That's awful, Edward. It will take a while for him to get over the Angela thing and the promotion. He's being a jerk, but hopefully, he'll move on."

"You're probably right." I lean down and kiss her forehead and see that she's frowning worriedly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I tilt her chin up.

"I had my own altercation while you were away. I ran into Lauren, well, she ran into me."

"What do you mean _she ran into you_?"

"Don't get upset…"

"I'm not upset…well, not with you, but I am worried. When did this happen?"

"Friday afternoon, Rosalie and I were out to lunch, and she happened to be dining in the same restaurant."

"What did she say to you, Bella?" I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Nothing of substance."

"Tell me." I meet her eyes, compelling her.

"Well, she walked into the bathroom when I was there. I don't know whether she saw me when I got up and then decided to follow, I can't be sure. She surprised me, and the way she just stood there and stared at me unnerved me a bit, so I accused her of following me. I might have overreacted slightly."

"Oh, I sincerely doubt that." I can't believe Lauren's audacity.

"She mocked me for being paranoid and said that _she_ wouldn't need to lift a finger to make sure that I got what I deserved."

"Fuck!"

"It's not as bad as it sounds. Like Mike, she was just acting to form, Edward."

"Wait a second…" I run a hand through my hair in exasperation and reach over to retrieve my phone.

"It's really late, Edward, who are you calling?"

"My lawyer. We can use this, she threatened you in public, and I'm sure that violates the terms of her bail."

"We can't prove that." She pries the phone from my hand. "We were alone in the bathroom, she made sure of that before she said anything, Edward."

"You were alone with her? Bella, what the hell is wrong with you? She could've done something to hurt you." I jump out of bed and pace the floor agitatedly.

"I _knew_ you'd overreact." She mumbles, falling back dramatically onto the pillows.

"I'm not overreacting, Bella. I've come to know Lauren a little better than you do, the hard way. Everything she says or does should be taken with a grain of fucking salt."

"So, you _are _upset with me?"

"No, I'm worried." I sit beside her. "Lauren is calculating and manipulative; and she's bordering on being psychotic, as we've discovered to our detriment. She meticulously planned, and then she manipulated, drugged, took advantage and nearly destroyed me. She nearly killed my nephew. And she did all of _that_ to people she claimed to love. What do you think she would do to you?"

"I didn't think of it like that, but I'm fine, I'm right here with you." She soothes.

"I appreciate you being honest with me, sweetheart, but next time, _please_ call me immediately if you encounter her, okay?"

"Okay, I will. Come back to bed, and let's not let Lauren and Mike ruin this time for us."

She holds the sheet up invitingly, and I spoon her from behind, snuggling in comfortably. I listen to her breathing slow as she drifts off.

I _will_ be calling my lawyer in the morning.

.

.

.

"Welcome home, Edward." He invites me into his office, where we exchange a brief hug.  
"I could say the same to you. You've been gone for weeks, Carlisle."

"I had a few loose-ends to tie up at the L.A. office."

"Still making the transition, I see."

"Pretty much, your aunt is still there, packing up a few more things she claims not to be able to live without."

"I'm sure one of the things she can't live without is your brilliant son."

"She's desperately trying to get him to relocate here. He told me that he spoke to you on your big night. We were all sorry that we couldn't be there."

"That's all right, and yes it was good to hear from him. I miss him."

"He misses you and the rest of the family a well."

I admire the marvelous artwork adorning the walls of his office. Carlisle has always been headquartered in Los Angeles, so this is the first time I've seen them.

"I know I'm your favorite cousin, but you didn't come down here just to admire the paintings. What can I do for you, Edward?"

I tell him about Josh's accident, the role that Lauren played in the tragedy, and her most recent confrontation with Bella. I also, reluctantly, fill him in on what I suffered at her and James's hands.

To my surprise, he remains calm, keeping his personal feelings at bay; he's the consummate professional as he listens. Right now, he's not my favorite cousin; he's the extremely, skilled and successful lawyer that his enviable reputation is built on.

"Why didn't you contact me right away, Edward?" He huffs, clearly irritated.

"You were busy with the move. I had every intention of..."

"I don't care. This is a potential mess, and I don't just mean now, but eight years ago. You could have saved yourself many years of misery." He pinches the bridge of his nose and searches through his files.

"That bad, huh?" I exhale sharply.

"I'm just saying, that had you come to me eight years ago, I'd have been able to get justice for you, and have Lauren and her accomplice pay for what they did. You would have been saved so much unhappiness. Of course, it would not have changed the heartache caused by the loss of your son, but Lauren should not have been able to get away with a crime and then continue to make your life miserable up to this day.

I may not be able to have her held accountable for what she did to you, but I'm going to make damned sure that she gets what's coming to her for the part she played in Josh's injuries, and that she is stopped from ever causing you or the people you love harm in the future.

In the meantime, I'll contact Josh's lawyer so they can bring me up to speed. That'll also give me some time to contact her counsel to gain access to the discovery report. But, Edward, I don't think from what you've reported, that we can take any action against Lauren for her run-in with Bella at the restaurant."

"So that means that she can just harass Bella any time she feels like it? She should not have been near Bella at all, she's violated the terms of her bail, Carlisle!" I raise my voice angrily.

"We can't prove that she actively sought Bella out, Edward. It could well have been an accidental meeting as she claimed. And the fact that she verbally threatened her, is her word against Bella's, there were no witnesses." He states calmly, obviously choosing to ignore my ire.

"And Lauren's word holds a lot of weight?" I snap.

"Look, Edward, I'm not going to lie to you. From what you've told me, Lauren is going to spin this so that James bears the brunt of the responsibility. If she succeeds, she may get away with a slap on the wrist, but I'm going to do my best to make sure that doesn't happen. And if she keeps showing up around Bella, then we may have something to act upon. But right now, we can't do anything about her run-in with Bella. I know that you fear for Bella's safety, but you all just have to be vigilant and keep me informed when anything untoward happens so that we can act rationally and legally."

I start to protest, and he effectively cuts me off, not surprising, given his reputation in court.

"Now, I'm going to do _everything_ in my power to make sure she doesn't get off scot free for her part in Josh's injury, but you need to know that this isn't going to be an easy feat."

I hate that he's right about Lauren's confrontation with Bella; we just need to be more careful as he says and document every one of her transgressions. I silently vow to make sure that Bella truly understands that she should not take anything that Lauren does lightly.

"Alright, and thank you, Carlisle."

"Hey, we're family. I would do anything for you." He reassures me as he ushers me to the door.

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Josh opens the door as Alice races down the stairs scolding him for doing so.

"Uncwle Edward!"

"Hey, buddy!"

"Josh, how many times have I told you not to open the door without me or Daddy!"

"You said bwecause it might be a stwanger at the dwoor, Mommy."

"That's exactly right."

"But it's Uncwle Edward. I saw him thwough da window."

"Joshua Whitlock, that is no excuse."

"Mommy!" He whines, turning his puppy eyes look on her.

"Fine, just don't let it happen again, or I'm not letting you watch Spiderman for a week."

Josh and I both gasp dramatically and stare at her in shocked dismay.

"Oh please." She waves us off and gives me a hug.

"Mommy has a baby in her tummy, Uncwle Edward. It's my li-lit-le br-bro-ther," he enunciates carefully, and I raise my brows, as I mouth the words 'speech class?' to Alice. She nods happily.

"Well done, buddy, you're speaking like a big brother now. Hey Josh, I've brought you a present all the way from Dallas." I hold up the bag, and he grabs it eagerly.

"Is it Spiderman?"

"No, but I'm sure Spidey won't mind if you have other friends. Go on, have a look." I place him back on the floor, and he takes off. "Thank you, Uncwle Edward!"

"You, Em and Jasper spoil him." She shakes her head in mock ruefulness.

"He's a good kid. Oh, by the way, here's something for the baby. Hopefully Josh is wrong in his prediction."

She pulls out the carousel music box and gushes.

"Awe, this is so sweet, but a boy would enjoy this too, Edward."

"I know. I'm just really hoping for a niece. How are you feeling?" She takes my hand and leads me over to the sofa.

"Oh, you know…fatigue, excessive hunger, peeing every five minutes. I'm having the time of my life." She jokes. "How was Dallas?"

"It was good. I wish Bella could have gone with me, but professionally, it was a good trip."

"How are things between the two of you?"

"We've decided to live together." I smile broadly.

"Wow, that's great news! You have to invite her over for dinner some time, Edward. In fact, Rosalie, Em, me and Jasper and you and Bella should all hang out one night."

"Sounds good to me." I rise from the couch and head for the door. "Set it up. Bella and I will be there." I feel elated that I can make that statement with such surety. Bella and I are a couple now; I don't have to look on in envy at the other happy couples in my family.

"Look at you with that smile and those sparkly eyes. Why, I do believe you're in love, big brother." She folds her arms and badly mangles the southern accent. But I can see that she's truly happy for me.

"Shut up." I laugh as I shut the door.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 48

"Edward, I'm serious, stop it. I'm going to be late for work," I giggle at his playful attempts to keep me from getting dressed.

"Stay home. You_ are_ your own boss." He pries the brush from my hand and plants kisses along the side of my neck, while I try to pin my hair up.

"I can't. I have patients to see, and so do you, _Chief._ Now, can I please have my hairbrush back?"

"They say being involved with a doctor is never easy." He lets out a dramatic huff and falls back onto the bed.

"Ditto,_ Doctor._" I straddle his waist and kiss him softly on the lips. "I have to go."

He sits up and watches as I straighten my skirt and reach for my glasses and briefcase. I blow him a kiss as I head out of the door.

"Hey, I forgot to mention that Alice and Jasper are having a get together at their place this evening. She invited Rosalie, Emmett and us. Shall I tell her that we'll be there?" He calls out.

"Sure, sounds like fun. I'll pick up dessert."

"I'll call you later. Have a good day."

"You too." I yell as I rush out of the house, checking my watch. I'm twenty minutes late.

I hurriedly start my car and call Leah to let her know that I'm on my way.

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Despite a tumultuous start, my day eventually settles down after a cancellation and one session, which had to be cut short.

I suddenly remember that I promised dessert for this evening's soiree_._

"Leah, what's the name of that bakery you bought those delicious pastries from last week? I need to order a cake or some kind of dessert for tonight?" I call out, and she appears at the door.

"Oh, it's called Let Them Eat Cake_._ I could stop off during my lunch break."

"That would be such a lifesaver, I had to take my car to the mechanic on the way in this morning," I sigh gratefully.

"It's not a problem. What did you have in mind?"

"Something decadent with fresh berries."

"I think they can accommodate that. I'll be back in an hour," she chuckles.

"Take a little extra time for yourself if you need to, Leah, and thanks."

Glad that's taken care of, I reluctantly turn my attention to the mountain of unopened mail on my desk.

"Bills," I scoff, as I pull the tray toward me. Leah pokes her head back in.

"Doctor Swan, I have a lady out here without an appointment, who insists on seeing you. She says she's an ex-patient. I've offered to make an appointment when you're available, but she refuses to leave without seeing you?" She says worriedly.

"Do you know who she is, Leah?"

"She says her name's Angela Newton."

What the hell can she want? I sigh in resignation, might as well get it over and done with. I really don't want her to be hanging around when my next patient arrives.

"Give me two minutes, then send her in, thank you, Leah." I hurriedly clear my desk and tidy my hair. I don't move to the more comfortable seating area, as I normally would have done. I have no intention of having a full-blown session or encouraging her to stay for any length of time.

She enters the room diffidently as always, but her eyes hold an unfamiliar look of determination. She's lost weight, which on her already small frame is very noticeable, and she looks tired and stressed. Despite knowing that her own actions resulted in her being in this position, I can't help but feel compassion for her. I push down the sickening feeling that Edward, the man I now know and love, had some part to play in it.

"Hello, Angela, how are you? Take a seat, please." I motion to the chair in front of my desk. She frowns slightly as she glances back at the seating area, but complies and gingerly sits.

She's yet to say a word; her eyes wander around my office and finally come to rest on me as I take my seat across from her.

"What can I do for you, Angela? You do understand, don't you, that I'm no longer your doctor, so this is not an official visit."

"I know that, Doctor Swan, how can I forget; you did summarily dismiss me as your patient, after all. Almost as soon as you learned of my relationship with Edward, as I recall," she says snidely.

"Angela, I really have no intention of discussing your liaison with Doctor Masen. Why are you really here?"

"I want some answers. I think that after nearly twelve months as your patient, where your obligation was to help me in my relationship, that I deserve to understand why you told me to do something that ended my marriage?"

I can't believe her nerve. I understand that she's upset that her marriage is in tatters, but she's the one responsible for that, not me. Hell, if we're being honest here, not even Edward can be held responsible.

"Angela, this visit is entirely inappropriate. The breakdown of your marriage is something that you need to discuss with Mike, and if you need to, with your new therapist.

And just to be clear, I did _not_ tell you to do something that ended your marriage. I told you to be honest with your husband, because that is what one does in an honest and loving relationship. Both parties in a marriage have the right to expect honesty." I look at her intently; her lip quivers slightly, but I can also see suppressed anger.

She's angry, and she holds me responsible for the breakdown of her marriage, that's clear.

She really is a silly, naïve young woman. And her reckless foolishness has cost her, her marriage; she just can't see that right now. I must end this, or it could escalate into something ugly, she's clearly not thinking straight.

"Angela, you have to see that it was _your _actions alone, that caused the problems you're now facing. Yes, Doctor Masen should not have had sex with a married woman, but _you_ were the one who chose to cheat on your husband, _you_ were the one who made a commitment to Mike when you married him, no-one else. All I did was give you advice, which in the long term, was the best for your relationship with your husband. I simply advised you to be honest with him. I still believe that to have been the best advice. Things would have been much worse had he found out from someone else. Mike is angry and hurt right now, but you have to give him time to come to terms with his feelings. I don't know if there is still a chance for your marriage or not, but you need to allow him the time to find out how he really feels once he gets past the anger.

And you, Angela, need to be honest with yourself. You need to face up to the consequences of the decisions and actions you've taken."

I sit back, feeling exhausted by it all.

_Damn, will the drama ever end?_

Throughout everything I've said, she hasn't moved, she's simply sat and stared at me, the picture of angry confusion. Angela has always been timid, and overall her demeanor hasn't changed, but I can see the pent-up anger behind her natural façade. She blinks once and takes a deep breath.

"And what about _you_, Doctor Swan, when do you get to face the consequences of your actions. What is the price that _you _get topay for having given me advice that cost me my marriage, what consequences do _you_ get to face for now being with the man that helped to break up my marriage? What do _you _pay, Doctor Swan? Why do I have to be the only one who pays? I watched you and Edward at the banquet, looking so happy, in love, out in the open. Why do I have to accept having been a dirty secret, and you get it all?"

That's it; there is nothing more I can say to make her see the error of her ways or to take responsibility for her actions. No good can be served to either of us by prolonging this.

"Angela, I'm going to have to ask you to go. _Right Now_. Please leave, I'm no longer your doctor, you are no longer my patient. But as someone who really cares about your wellbeing, I urge you to seek help. If you are no longer seeing or want to see Doctor Denali, then please find another therapist. You need to talk to someone. Good luck, Angela."

I stand and gently but firmly take hold of her elbow and usher her to the door.

She scoffs and turns to me before she opens it, "I hope that you get to face the consequences of _your _actions one day _soon_, Doctor Swan; and when you do, remember the advice you gave me today."

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.

I'm angry and perplexed. An hour after Angela Newton's passive aggressive confrontation, and I'm still seething.

_Who the hell does she think she is?_ After everything I did to try and help her, she blames me. I realize that as a professional I should be used to this type of irrational behavior, but it's hard not to take it personally. After all, her accusations were directed at both my professionalism and personal life.

The Newton's are as different as night and day, but it's obvious that both are very dysfunctional people. It's becoming clear to me that their marriage would have hit rocky ground, no matter what the catalyst might have been.

The illuminated screen of my cell phone finally draws me from my mental rambling.

"Hi."

"Hi. Am I interrupting a session?"

"No, I'm…I'm not with a patient right now."

"Oh, I've been trying to reach you for a while. Are you okay? You sound a bit upset, is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine; just a tedious day up until this point. I had to put my car into the shop this morning."

"Yikes. What happened?"

"Well, it started off with a flat tire that needed to be completely replaced, and then they called to tell me that there was a problem with the alignment."

"Poor baby, I take it you'll need a ride home?"

"Please, would you mind?"

"Not at all. I'll be there around five. Is that all right?"

"Five's good. I'll see you then."

"Bye."

I remove my glasses and massage my temples. Mentioning what happened with Angela to Edward would be a disaster.

He'd no doubt confront her, and an angry Edward is pretty formidable. She's timid and already feels like a woman scorned by two men. Any further altercations may cause irreparable damage. I really hope she seeks the help she so desperately needs.

"I got the most delectable blueberry cheesecake." Leah dances in and places the box in front of me. "It's infused with lemon liqueur."

"It sounds yummy. How much do I owe you?"

"It was forty dollars, but you don't have to pay me…"

"Nonsense, you did me a huge favor by picking this up." I dig through my purse and hand her two bills.

"I hope you'll enjoy it."

"I'm sure everyone will."

She looks at me questioningly.

"Edward and I are having dinner at his sister's tonight. I didn't want to arrive empty handed."

"Ah, I see. We'll, I'm sure they'll love it. I hope everything went well with that appointment? I'm sorry, Bella. I _did_ try to get her to leave?"

"Appointment," I frown. "Oh, you mean Angela Newton…everything's fine."

If only she knew the half of it.

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I take a quick peek at the delicious looking cake before placing it in the refrigerator.

I reach for the mail tray just as my office phone rings.

_Christ, I'm never going to get through this mail_. "Yes, Leah?" I press the intercom.

"Your Mom's on the line," she informs me with a hint of humor.

I quickly check my cell and see that I've missed two calls from her.

"Put her through, Leah."

I brace myself for my mom's usual unintentional, but comic, rant.

"Isabella Marie Swan, why haven't you called?"

"Hi, Mom, how are you?"

"I'd be ecstatic if my one and only daughter would take time out of her busy schedule to call me."

"I'm sorry I missed your calls this morning, Mom. Seriously, how are you? I've been meaning to call."

"Oh, you know me, Sweet-pea, I'm always wonderful. I just miss you terribly."

"I miss you too. Where's Dad?"

"He's gone fishing with a few of his buddies. He's been running around like he's just rediscovered the fountain of youth. I've been trying to get him to take it easy, but you know how he is."

"Is everything all right with him?"

"Nothing to worry yourself about; his optometrist told him he has a minimal strain on his left eye and needs to start wearing glasses. Well, you can imagine how that went over."

"Extreme macho behavior, huh?" I laugh.

"The only way he'll wear those glasses is if I'm with him and 'nagging' as he puts it."

"Give him some time. You know how he feels about aging. He doesn't ever want to feel like he's getting too old to do the things he once could. Retiring really hurt him, Mom."

"I know. He'll never admit it, but he hates retirement. You should give him a call later, maybe try and convince him to follow doctor's orders."

"Yes, I would love to do your dirty work for you, Mom," I chuckle. "I love and miss you both so much."

"Then that means you should be coming home for a visit soon."

"We'll see. I do have some free time coming up."

"I'm going to hold you to that, Sweet-pea. Now, I know you're busy, so I'm going to say bye for now, and I love you."

"Okay, tell Dad I love him, and I'll call later. I promise."

"I will. Bye, Sweetheart."

"Bye, Mom."

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.

"Are you nervous?" He leans in and whispers after ringing the doorbell

"Am I nervous about having dinner with your sister? Of course not."

"She told me that she was pretty hard on you when you first met."

"That was an emotional and sensitive situation, what with Josh being so badly injured, since then, we've gotten along rather well."

"You guys are late, and I'm sure it's _your _fault." Alice accuses Edward as soon as she opens the door, before kissing him on the cheek.

"Guess again, Sis." He gestures to me and enters, leaving me gaping in indignation.

"It was _not _my fault, Edward Masen."

"I know it wasn't," she whispers and gives me a quick hug. "You look gorgeous as always, Bella."

"Thanks, so do you; pregnancy agrees with you."

"Well, it's good to know that I look better than I sometimes feel," she jokes. "Everyone's out back. I hope you like barbecue, but even if you don't, just pretend. Jasper likes to think he's some sort of grill master."

"Okay, but I love barbecue," I chuckle. "Oh, and I brought dessert."

"That was sweet of you. Thank you."

By the time we reach the back garden, Edward and the guys are already engrossed in laughing banter, and Rosalie is manning the grill.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing, you can't cook?"

"Flipping charred meat over fire hardly constitutes as cooking," she scoffs as she gingerly pokes at the food with a fork.

"I'm surprised that Jasper has let you anywhere near this grill." Alice adds, peeking over her shoulder.

"If he knows what I do, he'd get back over here in a hurry."

"Ha-ha. Shut up, Bella."

"Bella, help yourself to anything. I have soda, wine, beer; whatever you want. I'm going to finish the salad."

"Do you need help with anything, Alice?"

"Not at all, just relax and enjoy yourself." She smiles and disappears into the house.

"She's a sweetheart." Rosalie mentions as we take a seat on the patio.

"She is and speaking of 'sweethearts' leave my poor receptionist alone. You're starting to scare her."

"Oh please, Leah is just afraid of finding a soul mate. And by the way, I know it was you that told her not to answer my calls. Cock blocking is such hater move, Bella."

"_Cock blocking_?" I laugh mockingly, and she glares at me.

"Sounds like someone's lingo is rubbing off, Em." Jasper quips as they join us.

Edward sits down next to me and kisses my cheek as he hands me a glass of wine.

"Hey, I like a woman who speaks her mind. Is there something wrong with that?" Emmett winks at Rosalie, and her responding smile illuminates her face.

"Thanks, babe. Bella is just pretending to be prissy. In college, her mouth was just as potty as the next woman's."

"I do _not _have a potty mouth."

"Let's not call it a potty mouth…" Edward pauses contemplatively. "A dirty mouth is more appropriate."

Everyone laughs, even Alice who joins us, bringing over a huge bowl of salad.

"Oh, I have a dirty mouth, Edward?" I glare at him in mock admonishment.

"It's a _beautiful_, pouty, dirty mouth, sweetheart." He cradles my chin and pecks my lips.

"This coming from the dirtiest mouth of all," Alice informs.

He shrugs and takes a drink of his beer. "I will not hide who I am."

"I have to admit that when it comes to colorful words, the Masen's have it hands down." Jasper holds up his hands in surrender, and Alice stops what she's doing to glare at him.

"_Excuse me_, Jasper Whitlock?"

"Well, of course not you, babe. I mean you're a Whitlock." He smiles sheepishly.

"I was born a Masen. Don't pull any of that shit with me."

"See, I rest my case." He turns to us as he gestures to her. We laugh as she swats him playfully.

"Stop showing off for our guests and watch the barbecue before it burns."

Emmett nudges Edward and snickers. "I guess we know who wears the pants in this marriage."

"Yes, and we _know_ who wears the pants in your relationship. Don't get me started on you, Emmett Masen."

"Uh oh, someone's pissed off." Edward mumbles.

"I am not pissed off. I'm pregnant." She pinches his arm, and everyone laughs as he winces.

"One would think that the three of you would know better than to rile up a pregnant woman," Rosalie remarks snidely as she pops the cap on her beer bottle and takes a healthy swig.

"What a gem, Em." Edward dryly comments on Rosalie's brazen behavior.

"Bite me, Edward. Jasper, how long until the food is done, I'm starving?"

"Pipe down, Em, good barbecue takes time and skill. You can't rush red meat."

We try desperately to suppress our laughter at how serious Jasper obviously is about the art of barbecuing.

I'm enjoying myself, but I can't seem to completely forget Angela's visit. I understand that she's hurting and feels the need to lash out, and that she's in denial, but her accusations have really gotten to me.

"Hey?" Edward leans in and whispers solicitously. "Are you okay, we're not being too obnoxious for you, are we?"

His happiness and love for his family are so visible in his eyes and demeanor, and it's just what I need to push down the negative thoughts. I gently scratch the light stubble on his chin and return his smile.

"I'm okay."

He frowns slightly, obviously not completely convinced.

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.

"Mmm, Bella, where on earth did you find this cake?"

"My receptionist introduced me to this new bakery. Their desserts are to die for. Uh, Alice, you may want to limit yourself. The cake is infused with lemon liqueur."

"No wonder it's so good." Rosalie mumbles with her mouth full, and Alice pouts.

"Damn it. Six more months." She huffs and pushes the cake away.

"I'm sorry," I laugh regretfully.

"I can't eat another bite of this, Bella. I feel like a stuffed turkey."

Everyone extols the delights of the cake as they too reluctantly slide their plates away. The entire meal was delicious. Turns out, Jasper is as good on the grill as he proclaims.

The guys are checking out Jasper's newly designed games room, while Rosalie and I help Alice to clean up.

"So, are you hoping for a girl?" Rosalie hands Alice a set of plates to place into the dishwasher.

"Honestly, I have no preference this time. When I was pregnant with Josh, I was leaning towards a little girl. I fell in love with all the frilly, pink baby-girl clothing and nursery décor. Jasper of course wanted a boy and was thrilled when he was born; we both were.

Josh was such a joy coming into our lives, that I instantly forgot about my silly thoughts of a girl the minute I saw his face."

"So, you didn't know the gender until after he was born?" I add, placing the rest of the leftovers in the fridge.

She smiles and shakes her head as she reminisces.

"I've learned that the sex of the baby doesn't matter. Truth is, you fall in love with them the minute you realize they're a part of you, growing inside of you."

Her sincere joy makes it difficult not to share in her happiness.

"Besides, I've also come to realize that you can spoil a little boy as much as you can a little girl. There's a flipside to pink and frills, it's Spiderman and football. All thanks to my husband and brothers; your respective, significant others." She laughs teasingly.

"I can't wait until the two of you are in my position, and I'm the one who gets to ask these questions."

Rosalie and I look at one another in wide-eyed shock.

"Oh, yes, the Masen's, are without a doubt, serious about procreation. We want _tons_ of little one's running around, growing up together. So, the two of you better get your childbearing hips into gear. I want nieces and nephews." She demands playfully.

"Bella and Edward have moved in together." Rosalie blurts out in an accusatory tone. "She should be the first."

"Rosalie!"

"Hey, no need to be secretive, Bella. Edward told me all about it when he came back from Dallas. And I agree. Edward's older and more mature. No offense to you and Em, Rosalie."

"None taken." She holds up her hands in emphatic agreement.

"Edward is destined to be a father. He's wonderful and so cute with Josh, to the point of being nauseating, at times. Can you imagine what he'd be like with his own little boy or girl?

"Uh…"

"Not to mention what a _gorgeous_ little baby it would be." Rosalie chimes in.

"Um…Edward and I aren't quite ready for babies," I chuckle nervously.

A tiny snicker escapes Rosalie, followed by one from Alice. I glance between the two of them suspiciously. My obvious discomfort sparks more amusement as their snickers morph into snorts, which in turn becomes full blown laughter.

"Oh, I get it. The two of you are horrible."

"You should've seen the look on your face." Alice squeals.

"Ha, ha, laugh it up." I deadpan, as Rosalie attempts to control her hilarity and gives me a hug.

"You're such a little bitch, Rose."

"It was all Alice's doing. I swear, at first I thought she was serious too, then I caught on."

"As my best friend, you're supposed to warn me." I teasingly shove her away and walk back out into the yard.

"Hey, it wasn't all a joke. I still want nieces and nephews." Alice yells after me, giggling loudly.

Although, I'm definitely not ready for children, I can't help thinking about what she'd said. Edward _does _have a soft spot when it comes to Josh, and I know that he'd be an exceptional father. I recall his expression the day he revealed the truth about Lauren's baby; how hurt he was when he told me she'd miscarried.

He was equally devastated when he later discovered that he wasn't the father of that baby, after all. His life would be so different right now if he'd been a father.

Lauren_. _That witch, she caused so much turmoil in his life; it's almost inconceivable that he was able to move on to find happiness.

Edward credits me with being his motivation for doing that, but he's wrong. Therapy sessions didn't bring about his change, nor did our relationship.

In fact, a small part of me feels that I only contributed to Lauren's irrational behavior by getting involved with him. The successful, loving, caring person that he is now, is the man he's always been, the man who hid himself behind an impenetrable wall for so many years. No matter how hard Lauren tried to destroy him, that man remains, scarred but still strong.

Thoughts of her, her despicable acts and Angela's visit pervade my mind as I viciously shove garbage into the trash.

"God, I know it's trash, but what did it do to you?" Rosalie exclaims.

"I've got to be the world's worst therapist."

"Okay, what's going on, surely you can't have been that upset by my and Alice's little prank?"

"Do you think I'm a good doctor?" I fix her with a serious expression.

"Of course, you're a good doctor. Where is all this coming from, Bella?"

"An ex-patient of mine practically accused me of giving her advice which ended her marriage. And I can't help but wonder whether I did the right thing, Rose. Advice that I believed to be right ended up causing hurt and damage."

"Bella, I can't speak to the specifics of the case, but I know you, and you would _never _intentionally do anything to harm another person. You are the consummate professional, and you care about your patients' wellbeing. You would _never_ do anything unethical or something that countermands your training."

"I didn't say I did it on purpose." I huff and run a hand through my hair. "I'm just saying, what if I _unconsciously_ gave bad advice, and it resulted in ruining a marriage?"

"Are you insane? Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?"

"How ridiculous what sounds?" Edward walks up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Your girlfriend here is having some major self-doubt and recriminations. See if you can talk some sense into her." She walks away.

"Self-doubt and recriminations? You're not having second thoughts about moving in with me, are you?"

"No…of course not. Rosalie just has a big mouth and an overactive imagination." I hope he'll just drop the subject.

"That might be true, but you're keeping something from me. I can sense it; I've sensed it all evening." He turns me to face him.

"It's just work. I have an early day tomorrow, and it doesn't promise to be an easy one."

"Difficult patient?"

"I can't discuss it, Edward, but none are more difficult than you were." I tease and he nods, smiling wryly.

"Touché, Doctor Swan. I was a pretty big pill to swallow, wasn't I?"

"One of _the_ biggest."

"Can't I just be _the_ biggest?"

"Is there enough room for that _and_ your ego?" His arms snake around my waist, pulling me close.

"I can make room."

.

.

.

"_Hello, Doctor Swan. I've been waiting for you, I'm sure you remember me." Justine spins around in the chair._

"_Oh, not pleased to see me? Well, too bad. I have things to say to you," she sneers._

"_Wondering what we had in common, what I could possibly want to discuss? Oh, please, I can tell that you know exactly what we have in common._

_Why so tense, Doctor Swan, relax while I tell you a story._

_It's about a man; the kind of man all women dream about; classic good looks, wealthy, successful, an amazing lover. He sounds perfect doesn't he? _

_Well, although he's perfect in every way, my problem is that he used me for his own selfish gratification, and when he was done, he tossed me out as if I had no more worth than last week's garbage. _

_Now, I know you're asking yourself, why any woman would want a man like that, but the real question is, why would you want a man like that, Doctor, Swan?_

_Edward is a real enigma, isn't he?"_

"_I'll say." Victoria struts in and raises an eyebrow at me._

"_Look at her standing there, all prim and proper. She might not want to admit it, but she wanted him from the moment she first saw him, who wouldn't? It wasn't until she caught me having sex with him in the office that she decided to act on it. The next day, she fired me. How's that for knocking out the competition, right, Doc? And a month later, she's answering his door, wearing his shirt." _

"_Well, at least you weren't a patient of hers." Angela sneers; showing no sign of diffidence now. _

"_I came to her for help with my marriage. She encouraged me to tell her about my affair with Edward, and before the session was over, she'd convinced me to confess to my husband and pawned me off to another therapist._

_That confession cost me my marriage, but what did you get out of it, Doctor Swan? Oh, right, you're now dating the man that I confided in you about._

_All those things I told you in confidence. Every sexual secret I disclosed, you wanted to experience for yourself. You wanted Edward. You had to have him, and damn anyone that got in your way, Victoria me…"_

"_And even his wife." Lauren saunters in nonchalantly. "Sorry to crash the party, ladies, but I think my story trumps everything I've heard so far. _

_You see, I met our dear Doctor Swan months ago._

_Imagine seeking help to save your marriage to an unfaithful husband, whom you love with every molecule of your being. All you want is to have a family, and a life filled with happiness. _

_Then imagine the person you've trusted with the most intimate details of your life, the person who promised to do whatever it takes to help you hold on to your husband, only to have her stab you in the back and steal him for herself. Isn't that right, Bella?" _

"_You're going to answer for your indiscretions, Doctor Swan."_

'_I didn't do anything wrong!' I want to shout out, but the words are stuck in my throat. I seem pinned to the ground as I stare at them, a united front of accusation and vengeance. And suddenly, it all becomes clear; they're in this together, they're united in one common goal, to ruin me. _

"_You're going to pay." They promise ominously._

"_No!"_

I gasp as I sit bolt upright.

"What's wrong?" Edward's voice is thickened by sleep as he sits up beside me and rubs soothing circles on my back. I wipe my forehead, now drenched with sweat and struggle to bring my labored breathing under control.

"Nightmare."


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 49

It's Sunday morning, and I'm cleaning my apartment before Leah moves in. In a stroke of luck, she's been looking for an apartment with more space, which allowed me to sublet to her without breaking my leasing contract. I'm also sorting and packing up the last of my things, getting them ready to be sent over to Edward's.

I stop and chastise myself. I still haven't completely registered that it's now _our_ place. He'd have a cow if he heard me still referring to it as his.

I want to show him that I'm as invested as he is, not just in co-habiting, but also in our relationship. I realize that to do that, I need to start opening up to him about my thoughts and feelings.

That God-awful nightmare was just that, a nightmare, it has no substance. But as much as I keep reminding myself of this fact, I can't seem to get away from the constant feeling of unease that it's left me with.

Rationally, I know that I did everything I could to help those women. My advice to Lauren and Angela was based on my professional training and knowledge. I try to be considerate of everyone I meet, as one human being to another. I tried, even when sorely tested by Victoria's disgraceful behavior, to show compassion. I could easily have fired her and not cared about her future employment.

But I can't help wondering whether my dream is a manifestation of my subconscious. I recall how much I loathed Edward when I first met him; the unrelenting flirting, sexual innuendos, the way he treated women. Now, I find myself questioning whether I really loathed him, or whether his relentless pursuit and overt sexuality in fact tapped into some deep sexual psyche of mine? Listening to his brazen and explicit confessions of his infidelity with Irina and then witnessing it in action with Victoria, struck some deep chord within me, no matter how much I try to deny it. Even watching him seducing Rosalie brought out reluctant feelings of desire in me.

_God, I must be some sort of depraved human being!_

During our relationship, Jake was constantly suggesting that I be more sexually open and adventurous, and that had left me wondering sometimes whether I was boring or prudish in bed.

Did the knowledge of Edward that I gained in our sessions become the reason for me wanting him, and am I just another woman caught up in his web?

I immediately discount that thought. Edward loves me, and I love him. I'm being ridiculous.

.

.

.

Having had enough of the constant obsessing, I decide to go for a run. Not long after I'd left home, I realize that I have yet to make a call that I've been procrastinating about.

"Hello, I'm Isabella Swan, you were referred to me by Doctor Rosalie Hale. I'm in need of legal advice and can be reached on (413) 224-4546. I look forward to your call, thank you." I clip my phone back on to the waistband of my yoga pants and relax on a park bench.

The park has a fountain, and I smile as I remember Edward leading us to make a wish on our first date. He has a romantic side to him that knowing his past reputation, few would guess at.

"I see that you _do _still make this run on a Sunday."

I whirl around in surprise at the sound of a familiar voice. "Jake?"

He sits down beside me, shirtless and drenched with sweat from jogging.

"I haven't seen you here in a while. Been slacking off?"

"I've been busy with work. I really haven't had the time to just enjoy being out. It's a beautiful day, so I thought 'why not?'

"It _is_ beautiful." He stares off into the distance.

It's strange that our relationship has devolved into awkwardness. We used to be friends and could talk about anything.

"You're in trouble." He deadpans, eyes still averted.

"What…what are you talking about?"

"I couldn't help overhearing your telephone conversation."

"You mean you couldn't help _eavesdropping_? You have some nerve, Jacob Black."

"Easy, technically, I wasn't eavesdropping. I came over to say hello, and you made the call as I neared. I couldn't help overhearing."

I shake my head at his feigned innocence.

"So, are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what, Jake?"

"The reason for needing legal advice."

"No, I'm not." I stand up to leave, and he follows.

"It's about your _boyfriend_, isn't it?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no. It's not about…"

"You're lying. I know when you're lying or deliberately avoiding a subject, Bella. You're tied up in this hit and run case, and you need a lawyer."

I cross my arms and stare back at him.

"I know the situation might be awkward, but why didn't you come to me, Bella. I can help you."

"Awkward is an understatement, don't you think." I raise a sardonic eyebrow.

"Look, I know our relationship ended badly, but I still care about you, and I'll always care. I'd like to think that you feel the same way?"

"Of course, I do, Jake, but it doesn't mean that I'll come running to you when I need help."

"Why not?" He exclaims loudly. "Surely, your boyfriend can keep any jealousy or insecurity in check to allow for us to remain friends."

"Any further comment about, Edward and this conversation is done with, and I appreciate your concern, but I can't have you as my lawyer. I'll find someone to help me."

"Let me guess, someone Rosalie referred." He sneers cynically

"Jacob." I warn.

"Celeste Daniels, she works with me. Call her. Tell her you're a friend of mine. Like me, she's one of the best and for what it's worth, I hope we can look past our differences and remain friends." He jogs off without a backward glance.

.

.

.

I drop the keys off to Leah, and as Edward's fridge only ever contains bottled water and leftover takeout, I make a trip to the grocery store.

A simple roasted chicken and potatoes with vegetables seems good. I prepare everything and take a shower while it's in the oven.

Ever-present thoughts of my dream, now coupled with my run-in with Jake, cloud my mind. I stand under the spray, hoping that the warmth will ease my tension.

My phone rings just as I wrap myself in a towel.

"Hey."

"Hi, you sound nice and relaxed."

"I am. I've just had a shower while I wait for dinner to cook. You sound exhausted."

"What's on the menu?"

"Roast chicken, potatoes and vegetables."

"Mmmm, that sounds perfect. Damn it."

"Damn it?"

"Yeah, you're right about me being exhausted. I've been in surgery practically all day, and I'm headed back in about an hour. You may have to enjoy that delicious meal alone, and I'll be stuck with cafeteria cuisine." He sighs dramatically and I giggle at his drollness.

.

.

.

I stop at the reception desk to gain clearance to proceed to Edward's office.

A couple of nurses make it into the elevator just as the doors close.

"Something smells yummy," one of them comments to me.

"Oh…it's roast chicken." I smile hesitantly and hold up the evidence. They return my smile and continue their conversation. As they step off the elevator, one pulls the other closer, her whisper loud enough for me to hear.

"Rumor has it that she used to be his marriage therapist. No wonder his wife tried to kill him."

I feel a stab of disappointment and hurt. I suppose I should expect that rumors would abound in a hospital, but it shocks me, nevertheless. I hate that people view me in that light.

.

.

.

I listlessly poke at my food.

"Mmm, Sweetheart, this delicious."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it." I respond absentmindedly.

"Well, at least one of us is." He reaches over and tilts my chin so that I look up at him. "You sounded happy when I spoke to you earlier. What's changed?"

"Nothing…it's just…"

"Damn it, Bella, don't you dare tell me it's work. You've been preoccupied for days."

I open my mouth to speak, but he gently places his finger over my lips.

"I just meant that I think that something is bothering you, and I want…no, I expect you to tell me what it is. Is it the move? Was it too soon? Speak to me, Bella."

"No. I'm happy with our living arrangements, and I'm happy in our relationship, Edward." I place a reassuring hand over his, but I realize that he isn't going to be that easily satisfied.

"On my way up, a couple of nurses commented on our relationship. It just hit a nerve, that's all."

"What did they say?"

"It's not important." I raise an eyebrow. "It got under my skin for a moment, but it's not that important. Can we go back to you telling me what a good cook I am?"

"That's the second time you've charmed your way out of having a necessary conversation. I do believe that my bad habits are rubbing off on you, there won't a third time, Doctor Swan." He leans in and pecks my lips. "And yes, you _are_ a wonderful cook, thank you. I'm sorry , Sweetheart, but I'm going to have to cut dinner short."

"Duty calls." I smile up at him.

"I'll try not to be too late getting home." He cups my chin and kisses me passionately before he leaves.

"You are such a liar, Swan." I shake my head as I repack the remains of our meal.

.

.

.

"I really appreciate you seeing me on such short notice."

I thank Celeste Daniels as she offers me a seat.

"You're a friend of Jake's, so it really wasn't a problem at all. Come in, Bella…I can call you Bella?" She holds onto my hand, waiting for an answer. She has a warm smile that immediately makes me feel comfortable.

She's very attractive and looks to be in her mid to late thirties. Her expensive two-piece suit and Italian shoes are a testament to her success. She sports an asymmetrical bobbed haircut, which perfectly complements her strawberry-blonde hair and ice-blue eyes.

"Bella's fine. In fact. I prefer it. _You_ have a lovely name. "

"I'm named after my great Aunt."

I smile at the irony of our seating arrangements, and she looks at me quizzically.

"This is a rare occurrence for me. Normally, I'm on the other side, asking the questions."

"That's right. You're a marriage therapist. I hope you don't mind, Jake reminded me. I vaguely remember meeting you at a company dinner we attended some time ago"

"You're absolutely right about that. I recall your face now."

"Jake is one of my biggest rivals in the courtroom, but he's also a good friend. I understand the two of you have parted ways."

"Yes, we have. Will this pose a problem, given your friendship?"

"Not at all, how can I be of help?"

I take a deep breath and begin.

"Over a month ago, I witnessed an accident."

"What kind of accident?" She instantly switches to professional mode.

"A hit and run…the car hit my boyfriend's nephew. I think that he was the intended victim, but the driver didn't see Josh. Edward knocked him out of the way, and the impact caused a serious head injury."

"Is the little boy all right?"

"Yes, Josh is fine; precocious as ever." I chuckle as I picture his adorable face.

She opens her laptop and begins to type.

"Edward is your boyfriend?"

I clear my throat," Yes, he is."

"And you said he was the intended victim. Why would you think that?'

I hesitate, and she stops typing. She stares at me intently, and I inhale deeply and shift in my chair. She's astute and has noticed my discomfort but remains silent as she waits for me to continue.

"Edward's ex-wife paid someone to photograph us together, and I assume that things got out of control."

She sets her laptop aside, leans on the desk and tents her fingers. Lord knows, I'm familiar with this tactic.

"I can tell that you're not used to discussing personal aspects of your life freely, and that you're uncomfortable right now, but I'm going to need specifics. I can pretty much put two and two together, but it would really help if I didn't have to do that, Bella. I'm sure you understand why I need to know." She smiles to take any sting out of what she's just said.

"Edward and Lauren are ex-patients of mine."

Her expression remains impassive as she sits back in her seat and waits. I huff and pinch the bridge of my nose before telling her the background to my relationship with Edward, ending with the run-in with Lauren at the restaurant.

"This is some situation. You don't really have any tangible evidence that Lauren deliberately followed you, but she did make a veiled threat and knowing her past, we should take all necessary precautions.

I will contact her lawyer and see what he has to say about this. In the meantime, if she ever gets close enough to be in contravention of her bail conditions, you call the police. The first thing you need to do is to protect yourself from possible harm. After that, we can determine whether she's violated her bail terms or not."

"Thank you. That pretty-well summarizes what everyone has been telling me, but I just wanted to seek legal advice, in case I should need it."

"I'm glad you contacted me, and I'll do everything I can to protect your rights, Bella, and to keep you safe."

She escorts me to the door, reminding me that she'd be in touch.

I feel better leaving her office than I did going in. Her easy acceptance of my relationship with Edward and lack of censure about the circumstances of us getting together makes me feel more comfortable. I once again realize that I should really tell Edward about everything that's been troubling me.

.

.

Back in my office, I busy myself by dealing with my correspondence and returning messages. I power up my laptop and sign in. While waiting, I finally sort through the mountain of mail on my desk and place a call.

I click on the incoming mail folder as I tear through the first envelope. My call goes through to voicemail.

"Hey, Rose. I just wanted to let you know that I found another lawyer. I hope you won't be upset. Anyhow, call me at the office when you get this message. Bye."

I delete the first couple of emails. I'm not familiar with the sender of the next one, and it doesn't have a subject heading. There is an attachment however, and I notice that there are ten consecutive messages with attachments from the same sender. My normal practice is to simply delete emails from unknown parties, as I'm well aware of the potential for viruses, but my curiosity is spiked. I click onto the attachment.

While it's downloading, I turn my attention to the letter in my hand. The familiar logo of the American Medical Association immediately catches my attention, but I'm puzzled by the bold stamp just above the addressee panel, which reads, 'Private and Confidential. Generally correspondence from the AMA is simply to inform members of some special event, so I find this is highly unusual.

I can't believe what I'm reading; there must be some mistake. I've read it three times now, and it still doesn't make any sense.

My palms feel sweaty, and my heart is thumping so hard, I'm sure it can be seen by the naked eye. I close my eyes then read it once more, slowly taking in every damning word.

_Dear Doctor Swan,_

_You are notified that we have received a formal complaint against you, alleging a breach in the code of professional conduct on your part._

_The AMA serves as an umbrella organization of state medical associations, and as such, is not in the position to investigate allegations of unprofessional or unethical conduct at the local level._

_We have therefore referred the complaint to the relevant body in the state of Illinois, where you are currently registered to practice._

_You will, in due course, receive formal notification from this body, detailing the allegations made and the procedures to follow to resolve the matter. _

_As you are a registered member of this association, the Illinois State investigative council will forward its findings to the AMA for review by our Council on Ethical and Judicial Affairs._

_We wish you well, and it is our fervent hope that this matter be resolved quickly and in your favor._

I take a deep, shaky breath and look up to see my computer screen. I stare aghast at the photographs, large and in full color.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 50

Tears obliterate my vision as I drive; my thoughts are a jumbled mass of confusion and fear. I keep asking myself how this could be happening, even though I intrinsically know the answer, I just I refuse to articulate it.

I'm struggling to think clearly, the one-two punch that I've received today has left my world crumbling around me. I loudly admonish myself as my tears start anew, I need to hold it together, at least until I reach my destination.

I nearly sideswipe the car alongside me as I pull into the parking space. My brisk walk turns into a frantic dash as I let out a strangled sob, the letter tightly clenched in my hand.

Rosalie emerges from the kitchenette, holding two mugs just as I all but lurch into her reception area, which thankfully is empty. She quickly sets them down on the desk and hurries over to me.

"It's all right, Bella. It's going to be all right," she chants as she pulls me into a hug and leads me into her office where she gently pushes me into a chair.

"Here, sip this."

She says calmly as she returns to her office with the mugs. I wrap my shaky hands around the warmth and take a sip.

"Oh God, what am I going to do?" I wail as she turns to shut the door.

"First, you're going to hand me that mug, because you look like you're about to drop it, and then you're going to take a deep breath and tell me exactly what's happened. You weren't making any sense when you called."

Not trusting myself not to start bawling again, I hand her the letter and pace the floor in front of her while she reads.

"What the hell is this?" She waggles the letter at me.

"Maybe you should read it again." I scoff; tears once again spilling down my cheeks.

"No, I meantwho the hell would file a complaint against you?"

"I'm spoilt for choice really! Where would you like me to start?"

"But why?" She moves to stop my pacing. "It makes no sense, Bella. This letter claims unprofessional conduct. That charge could never legitimately be made against you, it's not possible."

I scrub my hands over my face and laugh wryly. "I wouldn't be so sure, Rose."

"Okay, stop it, Bella. I know you've been doing this 'mea culpa' thing, but I won't listen to any more of it." She pulls my hands from my face and gives me a stern shake.

"You don't understand, Rosalie!" I sob. "I've tried to help them, and still these women appear to have some vendetta against me; Victoria, Lauren, Angela _fucking_ Newton!"

I spit her name, damn her. _She_ did this; in fact, they've all probably had a hand in it. They'd all like to see my life ruined.

"Bella, sweetie, please calm down. I know you're upset, but this may all be a misunderstanding. I know that since running into Lauren you've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, but you don't really think that someone would deliberately try and have you lose your license do you?"

"That's _exactly_ what I'm saying. You weren't there; you didn't hear or see either Lauren or Angela. You didn't _hear_ them, Rosalie.

'_I won't have to lift a finger for you to get what you deserve.'_

'_I hope that you get to face the consequences of your actions one day soon, Doctor Swan; and when you do, remember the advice you gave me today.'_

Their words and those damned photos are indelibly imprinted in my memory. I cover my face with my hands.

"How could I have been so stupid? I should have known better. Oh, dear God, _I_ did this!"

"Bella, come on. You have to breathe. _Listen_ to me." She pulls me into a comforting embrace, but I pull away.

"You don't understand, Rosalie, this is all my fault. I did this to myself…" My voice breaks. "I wanted him. I should have stayed away from him!"

"What the hell are you on about, Bella?"

I pull out my phone and find the email. She's uncharacteristically silent as she stares unblinkingly at the screen.

"Someone sent them to me."

"These photos…"

"There are about ten emails from the same sender, all with attachments, and I'm tooterrified to open the rest."

She repeatedly scans through the pictures, and finally places her hand on her forehead.

"Son of a bitch," she murmurs and shakes her head in despair.

"I wanted him, Rose, and look at what it's cost me."

.

.

.

I enter the foyer quietly and gently place my keys on the table. The house is in darkness except for a dim light coming from upstairs. The house looks unchanged since my departure this morning. He must've come home and literally gone straight to bed.

My head is still reeling. I've spent most of the day and evening crying on Rosalie's shoulder, before she finally convinced me to come home and talk to Edward. She promised that things would make more sense and seem less dire once I did, but I doubt that anything could improve the way I feel right now.

He has his back turned to me, and believing him to be unaware of my presence, I watch him from the doorway.

"Long day at work?" He turns around to face me.

"The usual." My voice croaks.

"Me too. I'm sorry, I didn't get a chance to call you all day."

"Same here, I was a little too preoccupied to talk." I look down, unwilling to have him see my despondency.

"I thought that must be the case, when I didn't hear from you. I came home, showered and had the leftover chicken. I wanted to get to bed and get some sleep, but then I noticed that you hadn't finished unpacking.

I took the liberty of doing that for you, I hope you don't mind," he opens a drawer.

"I found these." He holds up an item in each hand. "You've been holding out on me," he teases.

I exhale loudly and finally enter the bedroom. I try to retrieve the garments, but he holds them out of my reach.

"Edward, I really don't feel like…"

"I know, and as much as I want to see you in this lacy, red number, I thought that something else might be more appropriate. Come with me." He takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom.

The room is softly candle-lit, the tub practically filled to the rim with bubbles.

"Edward…what…"

"Shhh…I know you've been a little on edge, I want to help you unwind." He starts to unbutton my blouse.

I still feel shell-shocked, and I don't know where or how to start telling him about any of it. I watch him as he undresses me. I hope that at some point, I'll find a way to broach the subject.

He slowly peels my stockings down my legs, and I help by stepping out of my shoes. He looks up and smiles at me gently.

"Come." He leads me over to the tub and helps me to step inside. I slink down into the welcome warmth as he gathers my hair and ties it up.

"Edward…"

"Just relax." His voice, like the water, is warm and soothing. The fragrance gently wafting up from the tub is almost hypnotic.

"What have you put in the water?"

"Vanilla and a little lavender." He kisses my cheek softly, his warm breath caressing the shell of my ear, and then he disappears.

Without his presence, the feeling of being overwhelmed returns. Edward is being so caring; I can't bring myself to raise the events of the day with him right now.

Soft music fills the room, the lights dim, and he returns.

"Feeling more relaxed?"

"You've gone to so much trouble. Thank you."

I keep my head lowered as I ghost my fingers along the bubbles. If I look at him now, while I'm feeling this fragile, I'll fall apart, and I don't want to do that.

The sound of his zipper reverberates makes me look up.

"What are you doing?"

He sheds his clothing and eases in behind me.

"Close your eyes, sweetheart."

As always, my body responds to his voice, and I melt into him. He caresses my skin beneath the water, and despite the turmoil I'm feeling, he manages to stroke away my anxiety.

The two missives is like the sword of Damocles, looming over us, threatening our happiness; but I can't find it in me to ruin this. I just want to drink it in, savor this moment before I blow our lives apart.

He kneads my thighs softly, as he kisses my neck; the music accentuates the sultry mood. His long, expert fingers continue their path, gliding up my midsection and my breasts. I let out a sigh of contentment.

"You like that?"

I don't respond, I don't trust myself to not destroy the mood. All I want is to feel his hands on me, and for him to never stop.

I cover his hands with mine and guide them under the water, as I part my legs. I feel him hardening against my lower back as our joined fingers find their way inside my body.

.

.

.

We lie facing each other on the bed, troubled amber eyes to turbulent storm green. I can't be sure if he senses that something's amiss, but his eyes are filled with conflicting emotions. Since leaving the bathroom, he's been as quiet as me.

I have so much to say and so many questions to ask, but I feel choked by fear. I dread what he'd have to say about the photos; and he would most assuredly convince himself that he's the cause of that damnable complaint having been lodged, when in fact I knew exactly what I was getting myself into.

He blinks slowly, and I can tell that he's overcome by fatigue. He's worked exceedingly long shifts lately, which is probably another reason he has not called me out on my introspection of late.

"I love you," he whispers, a small smile playing across his lips, before his eyes flutter closed.

My breath shudders. Tears trickle down the bridge of my nose as I gently trace his striking features, his closed eyes, their ever-expressive green now shut off to me, his fine, straight nose and finally, his well-defined, full lips. His mouth parts slightly as his slumber deepens.

I lean my forehead to his and let the tears flow freely. I let out a quiet sob as I whisper, "I love you."

.

.

.

I wake with a start, feeling as if I'm weighed down by a two-ton weight on my chest. Edward is still sleeping peacefully beside me. I focus my gritty eyes on the bedside clock. It's five-thirty a.m., and I've only slept fitfully after hours of agonizing over things and silently crying.

I crawl out of bed, careful not to wake him. Instead of going into the en suite bathroom, I quietly gather some clothes from the closet and make my way to the guest room.

Once showered and dressed, I tiptoe back into the master bedroom and grab my shoes and some more garments from the closet. I stop to stare at Edward, and my heart lurches as I watch him. He's so beautiful, and despite the confusion of feelings churning inside of me, I can't deny the overwhelming love I feel for this man. I make my way downstairs and hastily grab my handbag and briefcase. Feeling like a thief in the night, I surreptitiously make my way out of the house.

.

.

.

I feel no better at work and avoid as much contact with Leah as possible. She's a sweet person and worries about anything at the drop of a hat. When she worries, she tends to ask a lot of questions, and I'm sure as hell not prepared to discuss my problems with her.

"Doctor Swan, your last patients have rescheduled." She knocks and pokes her head around the door.

"The Mitchell's." I nod in understanding.

"Yes, Mr. Mitchell called and advised that they needed to reschedule. I've rebooked them for next Friday. I hope that was all right?"

"That's fine, Leah."

She frowns and enters.

"It's nearly twelve, and you don't have any more patients scheduled for today. What do you say to an early lunch, I could go and get us something really yummy, my treat?"

"I'm not hungry, but you go out and have a lovely lunch. In fact, you've worked really hard lately; take the rest of the day off. Nothing much will be happening around here, and I can easily take the odd phone call."

"Are you sure you don't want anything? There's this new restaurant that opened up a little while ago. They have the most delicious lobster rolls, I could get you something before I leave."

"I know of the place, and I'm fine. Go on, Leah, and I'll see you tomorrow." I open my laptop and begin typing, but she doesn't move.

"Is there anything else, Leah?"

"I just…I was just wondering if you're all right? You seem bothered by something."

"I'm fine, Leah."

"You don't seem fine, Bella. In fact you seem…"

"I'm _fine_, Leah." She's startled by my tone, and I instantly regret being so terse.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to sound cross. I'm just dealing with some personal matters."

"It's okay, and I didn't mean to pry."

"I know. You should go and enjoy the rest of the day." I see her to the door.

"Bella…if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here."

I force a smile and thank her as she leaves.

"Damn it!" I remove my glasses and press my forehead against the cold surface of my desktop.

My office phone rings.

"What is it, Leah?"

"Edward's on the line. He says he's been trying to reach you, but your phone keeps going to voicemail. I'll put him through."

"Leah, please tell him that I'm with a patient."

"But..."

"_Thank you_, Leah." I say firmly.

.

.

Rosalie stares at me as if I've finally taken leave of my senses, and in a way she's right. I had temporarily lost sight of certain things, but now I need to reclaim what I can of my life.

She finally finds her voice. "What the hell are you talking about, Bella. What are you _thinkin_g?" She jumps up and paces the floor agitatedly; she swings around to face me, her hair whipping around with the speed at which she moves.

"No, correction, you're not thinking _at all_. Bella, why haven't you talked to Edward about this? I'm sure he'll put things into perspective. How can you just make this decision without having at least talked to him?"

"I've made up my mind. He'll just convince me that it will blow over, that it can be fixed. But the fact of the matter is, it can't just be 'fixed'. I will always be reminded of this, while I'm here, while I'm with him."

"Jesus, Bella, you're supposed to be the relationship expert, and you're choosing to overlook the fundamental premise of being in a relationship. You need to _trust_ your partner, Bella. How many times have you counseled your patients to be honest with their partners, I'm sure that you've told Edward that more than once. And now you can't even follow your own advice?" Her voice rises incredulously.

"Rosalie, please..." I angrily fight back my tears, annoyed with myself for losing control, yet again. I'm so sick of crying, one wouldn't think that a person my size could have that much fluid inside of them.

"Just listen, _really_ listen to what I'm saying. I _need_ to get away from here. I know that I have to face the situation with the AMA, and I will. I'll work this out with Celeste Daniels, and we'll deal with it, but I really can't face much more than that right now."

"So, what do you want me to do, Bella? You want me to lie to Edward, you want me lie to _Emmett_ as well, now?

"I'm not asking you to lie to Emmett Rose, not even to Edward. All I'm asking you to do is to not tell him where I am."

"How long do you think you can hide from him, Bella?"

"Rose..." I implore, but she cuts me off.

"Shit, Bella, all I'm trying to do here is help you."

"Well it sure doesn't sound like it to _me_, Rosalie," I snap angrily."

"Look, I know you're upset and scared, but what you're doing is not helping, _despite_ what you may think. I don't agree with what you're planning."

"I'm not asking you to agree with me. As my best friend, I'm asking you to support me."

She looks at me, and I think I see tears gathering. Rosalie never cries; and another round of guilt assaults me. She exhales loudly.

"Fine, Bella. Tell me what you need me to do."

I walk over and hug her. She wraps her arms around me, and we stand there for a long time, just holding onto each other.

.

.

.

I stare blankly into space, oblivious to the noise and bustle around me, my head swarming with thoughts of Edward. I recall the first time we met, the beautiful, once cocky anathema that I instantly loathed, and whom despite everything I know about him, I've come to love. I think about the things I'd chosen to overlook because of that growing love. This however, no matter how much I'm conflicted by it, how much I've agonized over it, I just can't turn a blind eye to.

I feel indescribable hurt. I already feel the loss of him, and I'm sure it's not going to get better any time soon, but I 've finally stopped fooling myself that things will look brighter in the morning. They won't.

I watch a young couple run into each other's arms, and I remember what it feels like to feel that way, carefree, not a worry in the world; reveling in shared happiness. Tears spill over as I mourn the loss of that feeling.

He caresses her face and stares into her eyes before kissing her deeply, exactly the way Edward does before he kisses me. I watch them walk hand-in-hand until they disappear from my view. I snivel as I realize that I'll never feel Edward kiss me that way again, that we'll never walk hand in hand again.

"Excuse me miss, are you okay?"

"Oh…yes. Don't mind me." I smile wanly at the young man next to me.

"You remind me of my mother… um...not that you're as old as my mother." He stammers in embarrassment, flushing brick red.

"It's fine." I laugh lightly as I wipe the tears from my eyes.

"I didn't mean…you're very pretty, beautiful in fact. Shit! I just meant my mom cried when I left for my first year in college."

"I see. What year are you in?"

"I'm a junior at LSU now."

"Good School. What's your major?"

"I'm pre-med, looking to specialize in surgery."

I avert my eyes and try to ignore the painful tug I feel in my chest, "That's um…a really good profession."

"So, are you…with anyone?"

I turn around and stare at him; young, brash, perfect white teeth smiling back at me. I open my mouth to kill any notion he might be harboring, but the announcement heralding the imminent departure of my flight cuts across the terminal.


End file.
